The Muties Go Commercial

Rating: Null/10 (13 November 2001)

As an action movie, this more or less works. As an accurate cinematic portrayal of the X-Men, there are more than a few flaws. Does it detract from the experience? Not entirely. A few nagging points constantly scratch at your brain.
First, the casting is somewhat mixed. I think the only dead-on casting was of Cyclops (PERFECT match!), Magneto and Professor X (who else BUT Patrick Stewart could play him?). The rest is alright, but nothing special. Hugh Jackman can handle the Wolverine attitude ("Later, bub" would not sound wrong coming out of his lips), but he's just a little too tall. And a few decisions really get you: Halle Berry as Storm? I say, if you don't see Storm as anything more than Halle Berry in a platinum wig, don't put her in the movie. Even at the climax, when she rises from the elevator shaft, eyes glossed over, hair and cape flowing, I still wasn't seeing her as Storm.
Rogue deserves her own paragraph: where is the tall, striking, Southern brawler we all know and love? Gone, replaced by Anna Paquin, who is about half the size and has none of the bravado, fire, and spirit of Rogue. In fact, she looks like a whiny kid. Sorry, Anna, but that travesty of a Southern accent (which rapidly disappears anyway) does not Rogue make.
The chronology of what mutants join when is a little confused. They attempted to make it a cross between a historical account of the forming of the team and a "hit parade" of mutants.
If they want a historical account, then it should start with Angel, Iceman, Cyclops, Jean Grey (Marvel Girl) and Beast. The rest (Rogue, Storm, Wolverine) would join later in the film. No Angel, barely any Iceman, and Beast was canned due to makeup restraints. So much for that idea.
The "hit parade" idea holds a little more water, but not much. Where the heck is Gambit? And what is Colossus doing painting when the team is in desperate need of muscle? Betsy Braddock, a.k.a. Psylocke?
And the villains: Magneto, Mystique, Sabretooth and Toad. That's it. Some army. When will the Cytorak gem turn Cain Marko into the Juggernaut? Where are the Sentinels? Omega Red?
When will we see the Danger Room in all of its might? The Savage-Land? Sure, the "yellow spandex" line gets a few laughs, but why are the costumes so generic? This film asks more questions than it answers, but if you take it on its own terms it's an alright movie, but nothing more.