CRAP!! Pure and Utter CRAP!! (May Contain Plot Spoilers!!)

Rating: Null/10 (29 October 2000)

I am beyond shocked at the reviews this film is getting here at the IMDb. It's no wonder the big studios feel comfortable putting out junk like this film because about 750 of the 770+ reviews of 'X-MEN' are all glowingly positive.....WHY?!? This film is yet another example of a promising concept butchered but bad writing and even worse directing. Regardless of what anyone might say, Bryan Singer is a BAD director. Now before you go off saying, "But 'The Usual Suspects' was an excellent film....", I will go on record in agreement with you; but it wasn't the directing that made that film, it was the writing. Bryan Singer just got lucky with that one, and to prove it, just watch his 2nd film, 'Apt Pupil'....gee, wasn't that an excellent film (note the thick layer of sarcasm). A good Director can take a poor story and make a great film, as evident with Steven Speilberg's 'Saving Private Ryan'.
In any case, moving on to the 2 hours of celluloid garbage (otherwise known as 'X-MEN: The Movie'), how can anyone say they honestly liked this film?? Beyond their names, every character had absolutely nothing in common with their comic book counterparts (which, last I checked, was the basis of this film) and there is not ONE reviewer of this film who can argue otherwise. Is this fact alone not enough to condemn the film? I've heard of artistic lisence, but COME ON!! You're supposed to use that in art design and (most importatnly) Directing, not in TOTALLY re-writing the foundational history of the Marvel Universe!! But what could you expect, after all, Bryan Singer HIMSELF said that before a friend of his pitched this idea to him, he had never read a page out of an X-MEN comic!! AND IT SHOWS!!! Bryan Singer doesn't know what makes the X-MEN comic series what it is, and a lot of it is critical to the timelines and circumstances in which each 'X-Man' is introduced to one another. 'X-MEN: The Movie' completely re-writes this timeline and character introductions, in essence, chopping its own legs off before it has a chance to stand up and run.
What about those who have never heard of the X-MEN Universe? Read on, for the rest pertains to you as well.
Next is the action sequences. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are not action sequences, by definition, supposed to be exciting and entertaining eye-candy? If you agree, then you CANNOT like the action sequences in this film. Part of the reason they stink so bad is (again) the Directing: BORING!! Bryan Singer does not know where to place or move the camera to properly catch an action. Coupled by the fact that this is perhaps one of the most terribly edited films in history, you are left at the end of an action sequence saying, "What the heck?!?", when you should be saying, "Wow!"
Plot? WHAT PLOT?!? Those of you who say this is a "smart plot" should re-check your IQ's. You want a smart script, go and see 'The Matrix', now there is a good movie. But don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying that 'X-MEN' should have been more like 'The Matrix', only that 'The Matrix' is heading in the right direction as far as comic book adaptations should go (yes, 'The Matrix' was a comic series), and 'X-MEN' is a step backwards.....back even past the horrible adaptation of 'Spawn'.
The characters? EVERY ONE OF THEM SUCKED EXCEPT WOLVERINE!! If Hugh Jackman was not as good as he was, this movie would be rated in the negatives. Important too is the fact that Wolverine's power was the only one effectively depicted in the film. The rest was just bad lightning effects and cable-work. The effects in this film are VERY OBVIOUSLY sub-par. And the costumes?!? Need I repeat what I said about artistic lisence?? Many people mock the "cheesy spandex costumes" when all they have as reference in their minds is Christopher Reeves in the original 'Superman'. What about 1989's 'Batman'?? That suit was beautiful. And even that old short-lived TV show, 'The Flash'....his suit was excellent!! Bottom line, they should have kept the original comic's suits; after all, if we as viewers are expected to suspend disbelief and accept the world of X-MEN, then why is it so far fetched for them to wear THOSE costumes instead of the black leather in the film?? As for the rest of the cast, Patrick Stewart is the ideal choice for Professor X, but unfortunatley his part was terribly written. Ian McKellan is a poor choice for Magneto....too old and feeble looking. Famke Jensen is a good Jean Grey, but fell to the same fate as Patrick Stewart. James Marsden as Cyclops?? Since when does Cyclops look like a teenager? How in the heck can we buy that he is involved with Famke Jensen?? He looks to be more in Anna Paquin's age bracket; which brings us to her as Rogue: the WORST casting of the entire film (almost as bad as choosing Bryan Singer to Direct). Too young and pouty look-at-how-many-ways-I-can-distort-my-eyebrows type of performance and overall look. Halle Berry as Storm; physically, she fits the part, but again, same fate as Famke and Patrick. Ray Park as Toad....I don't even know why he's called Toad since his character is completely different than the Toad in the comic. Same with Sabertooth. Toad, along with Tyler Mane as Sabertooth (the second worst character in the film), are basically throw-aways in this film when they are so intergral in the comics....especially Sabertooth and his relation with Wolverine (which is non-existent in this film). As for Rebecca Romijn Stamos as Mystique, she certainly has the physique for the part, but why is she nude?!? Again, with the costume issue.
Is there ANYTHING good about this film? Yes, two things:
1) Hugh Jackman is an excellent Wolverine, and 2) The movie does end.
An interesting piece of information that most people are unaware of is that although 'X-MEN' had a big opening weekend gross of over $52 Million, it had one of the biggest second-week fall-off rates in history of 52%, grossing only $25 Million. Unfortunately, the studio still sees this as a strong showing and has no doubt begun work on a sequel. What's worse is that they will probably get Bryan Singer to Direct it again. This is going to be the same as the scenario with 'Batman Forever' when it grossed big numbers on opening weekend and then sharpy fell off on week two, and Joel Schumacher was granted the go-ahead for 'Batman & Robin', which, as history shows, was finally recognized as a piece of crap and bombed at the box office. This will happen to 'X-MEN 2' unless they get their act together and tend to these aforementioned problems.
Just imagine, if these viewers give such good reviews to junk like this film, they'll be speechless when they see "My 'X-MEN'".
LET'S GET IT TOGETHER PEOPLE!! START RECOGNIZING THESE FILMS FOR THE JUNK THEY ARE AND PERHAPS THEN THE STUDIOS WILL START MAKING BETTER FILMS!!!
Rating: 2 out of 10
(because of Wolverine and because it was filmed in Toronto where I live and my friend worked on it).