Too much footage before the theatrical opening.

Rating: Null/10 (14 July 2000)

Why bother going to see The X-Men? It comes out tomorrow, but it seems that I have seen most of the film already in the previews, which have appeared in theatres, on television and on the Web. I must have watched a quarter of it by now.
The premise finds its way into a McCarthy-esque era, where super-evolved human mutants stand trial for the mere fact that they are different from the rest of mankind. In a world where anything can happen, quite often happenstance, it seems, takes the shape of human evolution. Oddly enough, it occurs beyond the realm of Darwinian theory, for each mutation here is different from the next. No new species appears to come into being, but rather a hodgepodge of supermen, each unique unto themselves.
There is Cyclops, whose vision is like laser blasts. There is Storm, who can influence the weather and cause hit-and-run car accidents. Wolverine has great physical prowess and a high threshold for painful critical reviews. Rogue absorbs the emotions and memories of other individuals (and wild geese), struggling to keep her own thoughts and emotions in the forefront of her ultralight mind. Jean Grey has telekinetic abilities, as troubled as those she had aboard the Enterprise, when she mentally bonded with Captain Make-It-So. Professor Charles Xavier, nee Captain Make-It-So, possesses telepathy, often speaking into other's minds as he was wont to do with `I am Loqutus of Borg, resistance is futile.' Magneto, god or monster, holds the power of magnetism. Sabertooth, an orthodontist's dream, can heal himself so quickly he is virtually invulnerable, immortal and may thus survive into any sequels. Mystique, who has chameleon-like abilities, is able to morph herself into anyone alive including Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. Finally, Toad has superhuman lower body strength and may well be the envy of every adult male film star, but that's a tail to be wagged, not tolled.
The basic plot of The X-Men appears to be rather formula. Boy meets girl. Boy faces NSC hearings. Boy battles mutants. Boy saves world and wins respect of humanity. Great special effects. Wonderful costumes and, in the case of Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, wonderful paint. Predictably bombastic script. Too bad there probably will not be any great scenes about how being unique will affect each mutant's ability to live among the less fortunate and less imperilled masses of homo audiensus.
In any event, I wish the producers could have waited with all of their promotion to allow me to be either pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised. I know how it ends before it starts. The only question remains is, is it worth watching twice?