Trash. Good Trash

Rating: Null/10 (21 August 2000)

Being a (moderate) fan of the X-men comics, back when the Beano was losing its appeal and superheroes in wild outfits with unexplainable powers were having more of an impact, I was waiting with (eager) anticipation for the new movie that had been such a huge success in the U.S. ( let's face it, the American cinema going public get excited about anything these days ). The prospect of a relatively unknown cast, no big names (other than maybe Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan) and a director responsible for one of the best crime thrillers of the 90s ( Bryan Singer, The Usual Suspects ) added to the excitement.
The summer was crying out for a big action, dumb, popcorn eating, Saturday night slice of tongue in cheek comic book nonsense. And that is exactly what it's got, except that is was a Thursday night preview, the popcorn ended up on the floor of the row behind us and we never got to eat any. With everyone instantly forgetting MI2 ( the other 'summer blockbuster', if that phrase isn't too much of a cliche ), the X-Men has taken centre stage. But despite the presence of RSC actors Stewart and McKellan, this is one stage that doesn't see much Shakespeare ( I knew that pun wouldn't work ). They do, however, put in a couple of remarkable performances mainly due to the circumstances in which they find themselves. It would normally be difficult to play the leader of a bunch of out of control, lightning summoning, metal claw wielding, lazer beam directing mutants with a straight face, but the thought of where they are and what they are doing never seems to cross their aged faces. Stewart plays the magnificent Professor X, wheelchair bound mentor of the good guys and McKellan heads up the bad guys as the metal influencing Magneto. Silly names aside, McKellan never looks or sounds out of place, even whilst levitating with powers of...well...levitation ( strange as he seemed to develop this ability out of nowhere somewhere in the middle of the movie ).
The other character of note is Wolverine ( or Logan, he never seems to make up his mind ), who is the key to the entire story. One thing Hollywood has learnt over the last few years: If the movie starts to get silly, have the most cynical character point out how silly things are and the audience instantly forget that they are watching a stupid movie. Job done. Or not... the movies biggest drawback is that the kitsch is played a little too straight. The characters are made to be very real and then pasted onto the page of the comic. Just as you learn to relate to them, you remember that you are watching mutants with super powers. I think, a background in the comics can be an advantage here. And also a major problem. You immediately know whom you are dealing with and the relationships that develop. You know the characters and what they can do. But accuracy is not too important. Only geeks are going to say things like... 'But he could never fly' and 'She didn't have blue hair' and nobody is going to care... The movie has been made for people who haven't even picked up an X-men comic. That's the advantage - not caring who these people are. The rest of the cast, with the exception of Toad ( played by the guy who was Darth Maul ) and maybe Rogue ( she gets more screen time than the others ), are just extras. Toad is brilliantly portrayed, unlike the woeful Storm, the wooden Cyclops and the annoying Sabretooth.
I would like to say that the plot is non-existent but it isn't. The good guys have to defeat the bad guys. The underlying story is based around the idea that mutants are bad and should be controlled, or locked up or destroyed. The political aspect is not as predominate as everyone has been saying. In fact you could quite easily forget about society altogether and just watch the light show. The movie starts with a seemingly blatant attempt to attribute the plight of the mutants to the horrors of the nazi concentration camps as we view scenes of Jews in war torn Poland. If this is the subtext, it is horribly misjudged and in poor taste given the feel and atmosphere of the rest of the story.
Overall, the movie lacks an incredible amount of flow and consistency. Professor X goes missing for most of the story. Wolverine has a great build up that just stops. Things happen just because they look good and it seems to make sense at the time. A better script with a few more words would have been nice and a Statue of Liberty that didn't look like it was made of plastic. What it also lacks is more suspense. The battles between the two sides are pretty weak and are just a few minutes of people beating the s**t out of each other. None of the characters show any grit or determination or concern. The movie oozes complacency. Out of all the characters, only Rogue shows any kind of fear and vulnerability and that's just because she's a girl. A bit of empathy wouldn't have gone a miss.
Sorry Bryan, must do better next time. And there will be a next time. The movie is only an hour and half and way too short. But thats what happens when you try to cram 100 comics worth of stuff into a movie you want kids to sit through. I actually thought the end battle scene was the middle of the story and that there was going to be a huge confrontation between Wolverine and Magneto. Instead, it just ends, somewhere in the middle after another light show. Expect (several) sequels.
5/10