World War CRAP

Rating: 1/10 (30 January 2014)

If I had to describe this movie in one word, it would be CRAP.
Let's get the worst thing in this movie out there first: Brad stinking Pitt. Wearing his new age wrist strings and ridiculous scarf, he looks like a pot smoking California yoga instructor. His effeminate hair style and Taliban stubble is not cool, it's stupid. And he's so super-special that every country on the face of the Earth will risk it's best soldiers to get him where he wants to go.
Pitt is supposed to be a "U.N. Investigator." What? Who in the hell is going to put the fate of mankind in the hands of someone who worked for a corrupt organization like the United Nations? What would qualify a "U.N. Investigator" to warrant this kind of importance? It's crazy and can only be the idea of a Hollywood leftie in order to make the hero more "global." Let me say his job title one more time...a U.N. Investigator....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
When Pitt is in the supermarket getting the required asthma medication for the mandatory "asthmatic child," his wife gets attacked by rapists in the middle of a crowded market while pushing her child in a grocery cart. Did I mention it was in a CROWDED market, with people swarming around them? Totally out of place and unbelievable. This was the first sign, besides Pitt's face, that what is about to unfold for the next two hours was going to be crap. And it was.
I can't go into all the plot holes and mistakes because it would make this review 15 pages long. But here are a few...
I wanted to walk out when the "Harvard educated Indian/Pakistani disease guy" made his appearance with his stupid speech in the movie. Luckily, he was so smart that he didn't know how important it was to keep his freaking finger off the trigger of his handgun and accidentally kills himself like the moron that he is. The best thing in the movie is this guy getting killed.
Then the entire special team is wiped out because Pitt's wife called him at the wrong time. How lucky Pitt gets away. This is another theme that runs through the movie...Pitt cannot be killed. An entire plane crashes, and the only survivors are Pitt, the Jewish soldier chick, and a woman zombie strapped in her seat.
Speaking of the plane crash, why did the passengers start to pile luggage between the zombie infected section and the zombie-free section? Did anyone actually believe LUGGAGE was going to stop the zombies? If a two year old infant pushed on the pile of luggage, no matter how high, it would fall over. STUPID!
And before the crash, there was the Israel scene where they had built a wall all around the state of Israel. It worked fine, with no problems, until PITT shows up. Then there's some sort of singing by some burka girl going on, and right then PITT is the first to notice "it's too loud." How did her mike get hooked up to all the speakers in town? So, Israel has the smarts to figure out the time to put a zombie=protection wall up, but they had NO IDEA the zombies were attracted to sound? And if there are so many zombies around the walls, where are the people who are shown arriving at check points coming from? Why, in the midst of all the zombies, did a group decide to sing and dance?
So anyway, after the plane crash in the hills or mountains of some foreign country, PITT and the Israeli soldier girl miraculously, without a GPS, find their way to the WHO building. They somehow walked there, with PITT impaled by a piece of metal, and the girl who had her hand cut off just hours before.
By the way, when PITT chopped off the Israeli girl's hand, there was no blood. Not on Pitt, not on the girl, not on the BANDAGE covering the wound, not anywhere! In fact, there's nothing graphic in the entire film. This could have been a plus, but it was taken way to far. Besides the bloodless amputation of the hand, there's one scene where Pitt hits a zombie with his crowbar, and then is shown trying to pull it out as another zombie approaches. It just looks stupid when you can't see what the crowbar is stuck in and why Pitt can't seem to pull it out.
Finally, PITT finds the room with the deadly toxins. He went there specifically to get into that sealed room, and no one gave him the code until he reaches it. Interesting. Then he injects himself in one of the "safe" diseases, by shear luck. I told you nothing can kill him. He's like Steven Seagal...you can stab, shoot, beat him but he can't be hurt or killed. The main difference is that Steven Seagal never came off like a wimp. PITT, however, does come off like a wimp who doesn't like guns and is more interested in his scarf and wrist strings than he is in shaving.
Sorry but I can't go on with this review. It's another one of those movies where, if you think about it too much, you get mad. What a pathetic excuse for a horror/zombie/action movie. It fails on all fronts. I should have known better than to watch anything starring BRAD PITT. I'm just glad I didn't pay to see this thing.