....wow.....what a piece of crap......

Rating: 4/10 (21 August 2006)

I'd like to talk to you all about a movie. A movie that I saw recently called World Trade Center. What's it about, you might ask if you're an idiot. But, if you don't know, it's about the September 11th attack on the Twin Towers, and about two Port Authority officers that went inside one of the crumbling buildings and got trapped under the rubble. Now, a movie with this kind of story and the fact that it's based on a sad story will tell you one thing: You might have to bring along a few boxes of Kleenex into the theater. I thought that I was gonna need a little of the tissue when I saw this. But bruh, let me tell youthe only tissue I needed was the tissue for my ass after I s*** myself because of how crappy this movie was. Not kidding.
Now, of course, the movie's story is pretty damn good. The attacks were pretty harsh and sad, and you'd expect that if a movie was made about those horrible events, you'd feel like you got roundhouse kicked in the face so hard that you just have to cry. NOPE. How can a movie with such a powerful story not be sad and touching? With my bad-ass wisdom, I'll tell you how: The movie is so damn pretentious and it tries so damn hard to make you cry that it fails. Even though I'm so ridiculously manly, I like watching a movie that brings on a few tears from time to time, and I expected my eyes to have horrible, water-diarrhea. The exact opposite, bruh, the exact opposite happened. First off, the trailer was more touching than the movie. It was more powerful. The movie itself was close to two and a half hours of nothing. When a character died, even though it's upsetting because it actually happened, you don't feel anything when you're watching it. The movie makes almost no effort to add subtlety to any moments that would normally make you cry. Instead, it's so damn pretentious that it almost forces you to disregard the crappy movie-making and crappy script and just accept what's going on and shed a few tears. Oliver Stone might as well have just walked on-camera, and asked us to cry. Sorry, bruh, but I like my tears to come out naturally, not to be forced out.
It's almost like people feel obligated to act like they're moved by this movie. They watch it, and when they walk out they praise it just for the sake of praising it. They say to themselves, "Wow. What a tour de force, guys." They like it before they even see it. The story of these two officers is pretty moving, but this movie just doesn't make you feel anything other than complete ri-godd**n-diculous boredom. I mean, when you're watching a movie about such a horrible tragedy, and you're not moved or crying, you know they did something wrong.
Of course, people are gonna make comparisons to United 93. I haven't seen that, but I do know that it's an insanely sad movie, and that it isn't full of itself. It might be on a tiny budget, but that's what separates it from this pile. Another thing about this movie was that the cast was too recognizable, whereas in United 93, everyone was an unknown. Now, these actors were cool and everything, but when you're watching this and saying to yourself, "Damn, isn't that cop the bad guy from Blade?", you know something's a little amiss. It takes you completely out of the movie. Any other movie is fine, but with such a true story it's not cool to have big name stars that are easily recognizable.
Now, I know I'm one of the few people that hated this movie. Of course, morons are gonna read this and say, "Ha, well, I guess you have no respect for America or for all those people that died on that day! Why don't you just praise the terrorists?!" Nope. Not true, bruh. I have the most respect for the people that died. What I don't like is crappy movies made off of those stories that fail to be moving, touching, or tear-inducing, which they very well should be. That's what I hate, bruh, that's what I hate.
Score: 4.
Let me summarize how I felt about this movie: This movie is like when you're about to go to sleep at night after a hard day's work. You think, "Damn, bruh, this is gonna be a good ass sleep." Let me remind you, sleep is the movie right now. You go to sleep, and then you wake up in the middle of the night with a gut-wrenching stomach ache because you have to take a massive, colossal crap. Boom. The great sleep you thought you were gonna have is now crap. That's how I felt about this movie. I thought I was gonna experience something great and moving, but instead, it got derailed by, yes, you guessed it, bruh, CRAP. You all know what I'm talking about.