Steel Skimpies

Rating: 4/10 (2 June 2017)

If you are the sort of puppy that likes to watch buff females wrestling each other in their skimpies, this may well be the movie for you. God knows what Margaret Court would've thought about it, although I suspect that this is exactly the sort of thing she secretly likes whilst hiding her true feelings behind an interpretation of ancient text.
Wunder WOOMAN! is an Amazon and is descended from Zeus who bred them (Amazons) to look after the world if his brother Ares recovers from the mother of all floggings and decides to make mischief.
A British spy who is an American (before the days when American spies revealed their ineptitude) crashes his German plane near an island that is perpetually clouded in, but isn't, perhaps surprisingly, inhabited by a giant ape. Instead it is inhabited by Amazons. It's a pretty nice island. Not as nice as Lord Howe, but.
It's WWI
Anyway the spy is chased in by Germans who know that he isn't really one of them, and they have guns and the Amazons have skimpies so you can imagine how this ends. But Diana, Wunder WOOMAN! can go a bit and she takes on the Germans as is doing alright too but has to be saved by the British spy who is an American in a German plane.
He tells her about the war to end all wars and she decides that Zeus' brother Ares is likely the culprit, and, dammit, she's going to put an end to this nonsense.
There are all laughs aplenty when Diana is first exposed to WWI London. Baby-making (tee-hee) is explained, her steel undies are a sensation and baddies are thrashed mercilessly when they do a bit of recreational ogling.
Diana and her merry band (think Hogan's Heroes) head off to the front to show Jerry just who's boss and in so doing demonstrate a compassion to refugees that, in her days in the IDF, would have been deemed treasonous.
My mind was wandering at this stage and I wondered, idly in the manner of such wanderings, how she cut her underarm hair? In a similar vein I wondered why Daenerys Targaryen's hair didn't burn, although I think in that case I may have detected some charring as I freeze-framed through. Enough of that.
The is a villain called Dr. Poison who has, apparently, cut herself rather badly when shaving, and General Ludendorff who has a drug habit. There are snipers. There is poison gas! All the bad things are as a result of the Germans. The hero is an American! How times have changed.
'Wunder WOOMAN' is kitted out with a magic shield, a lariat, a sword, and bracelets (don't cross the bracelets!)
There are adventures, sort-of-pathos (which goes on for ages and ages and AGES and makes you wonder what is a safe bladder level) baddies and rock-jawed goodies. The hero is a heroine and that's a plus. She looks a bit like Kim Kardashian and that's a not so good thing.
Is it any good? Not really. On the scale 1-10 where 'Interstellar' is 1, and 'Starship Troopers' is a 10, it's about a 5. Prolly wouldn't see a sequel, even at Seniors discount prices. My wife didn't think much of it either.