A Terrible, Terrible Film

Rating: 1/10 (15 November 2006)

I don't post on film stuff but just had to because this film is truly awful. Here goes...
Yes, the film-makers have stereotyped Japanese soldiers to be sacrificial lambs to the slaughter for the sake of this 1980's Rambo style shoot-em-up. The irony of a 'This film shows how different races can work together and we are all the same etc' approach is exposed with the Yanks taking all the incoming and remain standing while the Japs instantly get slaughtered (in their hundreds). Did no one have the guts to tell the leaders of this project in production that it was a**e? Or did 'market pressures' (eg: target audience) mean that Woo was thought the best man to entertain the youngsters with his pyros? What's with all the mindless, boring, repetitive slow-mo blow 'em up shots? And the gratuitous use of exploding gas cans for a humble mortar shell? And the soldier seriously expecting for a girl terrified out of her wits to run after a CHOCOLATE BAR after he chucks it to a mate? Thanks for that wonderful, thoughtful piece on war.
The dialogue - oh, come on! See the quotes from earlier posts. It WOULD be hilarious if this wasn't portraying real events. Just cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Cage made a good stab at it but the lines that he and the Navajo was given were just awful. A no-win situation.
The 'love' interest was a load of ****. Betraying trust by cheating to get Cage back to war, ergo: putting lives at risk. AND happening to turn up at his leaving do in full titilating dress uniform. Yeh, right.
The music was stilted and unmemorable: no real life or recurring theme that I picked up on. Bring back Ron Goodwin.
Special effects: Fantastic vista on the opening invasion scene with good aircraft CGI (for once, no 9G pull-outs), but spoilt as usual by high-octane explosions more suited to a low-budget shoot 'em up. The trampolines sure saw a lot of use, well done everyone for jumping so high with flailing arms and legs in front of all those petrol cans going 'whoosh'. Again and again and again. And again.
Realism: Nick Cage, when saving co-lead, shoots 4 Japanese WITH A PISTOL from at least 30' while on his back after having taken incoming. They all simultaneously fall like flies with the usual dramatic 'aieeeee!'. What a joke. I often miss a 5' x 3' range target at 10m, holding the weapon steady.
That's it, I can't even bring myself to write any more, other than for you lot to have a laugh at my expense: I bought this film cheap at Tescos 6 months ago and saved it until tonight when I had a bit of quality time . WHAT A JOKE.