Should have stayed home to watch Elimidate

Rating: Null/10 (18 June 2002)

Tonight, I could have stayed home to watch Elimidate, sure...Or I could have gone to see Windtalkers. I should have stayed home.
Windtalkers is the most formulaic war movie that I have yet seen. Unfortunately, the formula falls apart when you only put forth a half-ass effort. There's the attempt at a love story in the background that fails (no character development). There's the initial conflict from the racist soldier when the unwelcome indians join the white man's army--which dissipates only after the indians prove themselves by saving said white man. There's the heroic ending--meaning the hero dies (a-la Saving Private Ryan).
Unfortunately, the formula only gets you too far. There's the need to fill two hours with something. So ya do what ya can...Ya throw in some stock footage which appears to be video midway through the movie. Ya throw in a load of explosions--which unfortunately are not consistent with the size of projectile causing the explosion (a hand grenade has a larger explosion than a 20" round that appears to weigh 75 pounds). Ya try to make the movie mean something--unfortunately, you forget what that is 15 minutes into the film. Ya try to throw in some buddy moments between Christian Slater and his indian. Ooh ooh, and don't forget the importance of trying to prove that Nic Cage's character is insane. And finally, the best element of the film was that the jungles of Japan had Yucca plants and sage brush, much like southern California and uhhh...Texas?
In essence, I just have to say that I can see why it took so long for Windtalkers to be released. I would assume that they were trying to re-edit the movie into something worthwhile. Sadly, when you try to polish a turd, you just get s*** all over your hands.