More laughable than laudable

Rating: 4/10 (30 May 2002)

I just got back from a pre-screening of this movie on my college campus. I must say that I have not laughed so hard at a war movie in my life. I kind of feel bad because this is historically important material, but the way in which it is presented makes it difficult to take it seriously. I am going to give you a list of things to be on the look out for if you see this movie, however, you won't need to remember this since you will be laughing when they happen anyways. 1. The first battle scene is terribly acted out it is almost comical. 2. The mentioning of Lifesavers candy and Bacardi Rum seems to be straight out of Wayne's World (Doritos, PizzaHut, Pepsi, Nuprin, Reebok, etc.) Talk about obvious. 3. On some of the explosions, the soldiers that got hit would jump before the bomb even went off to the point where it was obvious. 4. The amazing accuracy of Nicolas Cage and his uncanny ability to not get hit by bullets when standing still in front of tons of enemies. He just mows them all down with no problem. 5. The complete randomness of the script. Pay special attention to Cage's first letter from his woman. "I miss you. Yadda yadda. I got a dog. he is soft, and keeps me warm at night. The end" Also, the randomness of the conversation between all of the troops at night when they are sitting around. 6. Christian Slater and his harmonica. Also, listen to the tunes Charlie the Navajo plays. It sounds like that soung they play in westerns. 7. The amazing accuracy of Nicolas Cage and his pistol (3 shots take down about 6 Japanese). You will know what scene I am talking about when you see it:) The whole theater was in histerics. 8. THE BEST AND MOST FUNNY REASON TO SEE WINDTALKERS: The AMAZING special effects of the battle ships. You won't believe your eyes. The ships look so real it is unbelievable......Wait a second, those are real battle ships. Yes, John Woo used real battleships to make it look EXTRA REAL. There is one slight problem with it: the film footage of the ships appears to be 50 years old or so. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Here we have these nice crisp shots taken by a modern camera, then when we see the cannons firing on the ship, it looks like I am watching streaming video from the internet. Then another shot of the devastation with a nice camera, then back to the terrible quality film of the battle ships. You would think they could make a decent battle ship on the computer and just use that (the planes they made looked great). I am still laughing about it.
What makes the last two items extra funny: they were during rather serious parts in the movie, and it totally detracted from it.
The movie itself was entertaining, but not good. I am still trying to figure out the point of it. Oh wait, there was none. Protecting the code is the only point. But that doesn't yield a plot since it is so general. There was no plot at all. The only thing was an internal struggle between Cage's character and the Navajo he has to protect. Not very interesting. The characters fight a few battles, lose a few men, and that is it. The movie did have it's serious moments, but overall the lack of a story made it terrible.
Overall, I would recommend this just to see the battle ships and cage take down the 6 or so Japanese guys with his pistol. Seriously. The laughs you get from those scenes will make it worth it.