Meh!

Rating: Null/10 (21 November 2011)

I'm a fairly recent convert to roller derby having found it an excellent spectator sport: simple rules, fast pace, exciting showdowns and a good balance between grace and power. So I was really looking forward to this movie and it took me some effort to get my mitts on a copy.
And it's not actually bad as such; Ellen Page is cuter than a thousand Ewoks, the score is good and Barrymore is always a treat. I don't even mind the utter predictability, that's just how some movies roll, no pun intended.
But it never really gripped me. The comparison to a masterpiece like Bend It Like Beckham may be a bit unfair but it's inevitable as Whip It is an almost 1:1 rip-off. But where Jess is a plausible footballer, Bliss ("Bliss"? Really?) is just not believable. She never makes us understand why she's attracted to roller derby, except as an escape from her over-the-top horrible parents and she never really manages to make the transition from meek mommy's girl to bad-ass rollergirl, not even when she pulls the ultimate empowerment trick and takes off her glasses. Her nick, Babe Ruthless remains a joke.
It also remains a mystery how she suddenly becomes the fastest thing on eight wheels. There's no Rocky theme, no real struggle, it just happens. One moment she Bambi on roller skates, the next she's flying like the wind. Same thing with her team. One moment they are losers, the next moment they are kicking ass. How did that come about? Oh yeah, they suddenly decide to listen to the weirdo posing as a coach.
So, at least this movie has some smoking derby action? Well, not really. I've seen more exiting footage on my local team's website and without the fistfights and the gutter moves too. And I'm from Copenhagen, for heavens sake!