Grime

Rating: Null/10 (3 August 2003)

If the Dirty Dozen is the father of Armageddon then Where Eagles Dare is a precursor to Bad Boys II. It has brand name stars, but Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood interact like oil and water. The remainder of their team is horribly miscast and suffers from lowest-common-denominator scripting.
The editing easily makes this one of the worst so-called "action movies" I have ever seen. If Peckinpah had made this, it would still be as illogical, but there would have been a greater sense of style. The final result is one part The Eagle Has Landed and two parts Wolfenstein 3D, add in the intelligence level of Con Air and voila! That's all, folks! Rambo II is more honest than this.
The sound and cinematography also suffer. Since I revisited The Wild Bunch, Bonnie & Clyde, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, I can state that there is no excuse for such a lack of attention to detail. The creators could not have made a less-involving movie if they tried. The producers must have cringed when they previewed this out of its sheer stupidity. I first saw this when I was nine and laughed at its ridiculousness, now I cringe at its sloppiness. This lacks more credibility and logic than Kelly's Heroes.

Overall, I think I made my point as to how awful this is. Avoid it like malaria, even The Dirty Dozen is better than this. 1 out of 5 stars.