"You will forget the contents of this movie . . ."

Rating: 5/10 (11 March 2015)

. . . one of this Mockumentary's cast members pretend-hypnotizes the audience in WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS' post-credits last line. If only we could. Forget. This flick's trailer contains ALL of SHADOWS' few humorous moments, so this feature itself becomes an exercise in tedium that makes the viewers feel 8,000 years old, like vampire Peter. Few movie-goers will manage to stay awake throughout this snooze-test, unless they have brought along a "familiar" to keep them occupied in the movie theater's shadows. SHADOWS comes from New Zealand. If you thought that THE LORD OF THE RINGS and THE HOBBIT were a hoot, then you might bust a gut watching SHADOWS. But if you expect this entire show to build upon its trailer in a clever way, you most likely will be disappointed. Ask yourself: When a White male vampire says his outfit for the annual Witches, Zombies, and Vampires Masquerade Ball was "Whoopi Goldberg in her SISTER ACTs habit," is it any more "hilarious" than a Sooner fraternity Kegger chant?