WEDDING CRASHERS Rated "R" for Ridiculous, Repugnant and Revolting

Rating: 1/10 (3 August 2005)

I don't know a better way to convey to the reader how I feel about this movie than to say this. If someday, when I'm on my death bed, with only a few hours left to live conversing intimately with my Pastor, and he asks me if there is anything that he can do for me before I die. I'd tell him: Ask God, if I can please have two extra hours added to my life to make up for the two hours I wasted watching WEDDING CRASHERS.
Katie Couric on her morning show, with the cast to this movie present, said "WEDDING CRASHERS is the funniest movie I've seen in my lifetime." So towards the end of watching this movie I started thinking about what she said and came to this conclusion: A. Katie never saw the movie and was too embarrassed to say so B. Katie saw the movie, knew it sucked wet dog fur, but she was too embarrassed to tell the cast C. Katie saw the movie, knew it sucked wet dog fur but she was paid a huge sum of money to say she liked it D. Katie saw the movie, and really did like it, and this explains why she's still having trouble finding a good man in her life This movie's Mission Statement was obviously-"Concentrate on making money first even though we know the movie we're making stinks." The multiple producers, (I counted seven and all males) used the time honored equation for bad movie making that should have tipped me off before I bought my ticket. Take some trendy actors and actresses, stick them into a single gag theme script, that has the word "wedding" in the title, hype the idea up to gullible "get rich quick" investors who are looking to cash in on what they think is another BIG FAT Greek WEDDING movie project, then laugh your way to the bank.
Problem is, folks, no one is laughing. In fact, in the half-full audience I was at, I heard more snoring than laughter. I'm sorry now that I didn't sneak out at the beginning with my date to see BAD NEWS BEARS, which is a more fitting title for this movie. (Actually, the title DUMB AND DUMBEST ANOTHER SEQUEL fits this rag like a glove.)
You all know the plot line by now, John Beckwith, (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Grey, (Vince Vaughn) a pathetic pair of committed womanizers who sneak into weddings to take advantage of the food, drink and romantic tinge in the air, find themselves at odds with one another when John meets and falls for Claire Clearly, (Rachel McAdams.)
This is a very angry movie that is irrespecter of persons. It's quick to mock everyone, including our mentality challenged, in the worst way with undertones that probably reflect the dysfunctional home life of the scriptwriters, (both males I might add.) In fact, I don't recall seeing a movie that degrades women more than this one does, (think about that last statement.) There's a homophobic subtext throughout. I could say it's anti-military too, by the quick reference to using a bogus Purple Heart as a ploy to win an unsuspecting "woman's heart" but that would be stretching it.
Infidelity and the unbridled use of the "F" word attached to various nouns and adjectives is as pervasive as in the movie GOODFELLAS. The mother, (Jane Seymore) cheats on the husband and father of the bride, (Christopher Walken), the groom cheats on the bride, the bridesmaid lies about being a virgin to land her beau, the two implausible Lotharios lie constantly and the movie ends with our two couples driving into the sunset laughing about their next make believe ruse. Everybody in this movie is screwed up except the butler.
The director, (also male) uses every tasteless trick to get laughs that never come with the pathetic duo singing "Shout" to the point that I thought I was watching outtakes of ANIMAL HOUSE.
In my opinion, anyone who feels good at the end of this movie needs counseling, unless of course, they're feeling good because the movie was finally over.
Ladies, if the man in your life tells you WEDDING CRASHERS is his favorite movie, I'd avoid him like you'd avoid a bad smell, (unless of course your name is Kitty Couric.) My advice to the producers of this film is to remake the film with Christpher Walken in the lead using his very funny SNL role as The Continental who crashes weddings and funerals looking for rich widows, or as a sequel to DIRTY ROTTON SCOUNDRELS.
My advice to the cast. Rachel, now that you've done something fun, go back to a part that endures as in THE NOTEBOOK. Vince, I think you've been typecast since SWINGERS. Some of your rapid funny lines were funny, like talking dirty to your girlfriend on the phone, but it's starting to get old. Find a dramatic role next time.
If this movie manages to make any money, heaven help us, as that means there will be more of these morose cinematic insults to the public's intelligence, (save Katie Couric's) to follow.