good try; no cigar (except for The Comedian) - Watchmen

Rating: 4/10 (13 January 2019)

If you enjoy watching an old-fashioned double-feature with a cartoon, then this movie could have been for you. Except, the problem is, they put the double feature and the cartoon all together in one movie that runs three and a half hours. Ben-Hur, yes, Lawrence of Arabia, yes, Gandhi, yes. This kaka? no. The characters are interesting, especially Captain Blue Balls, who lives on Mars and is smarter than the termite-brains of earth. Unfortunately, he is sexually dysfunctional, which may make him the smartest man in the universe, but pretty much a useless fellow in the bedroom. All the other characters are dysfunctional as well; as they closely resemble DC comic characters (DC was run out of business by Marvel, who devastated them in a nuclear attack in 1960). These leftovers from the DC universe make the Marvel characters look good by comparison; and I hate Marvel superhero movies. After Superman, its all downhill for me. Thank goodness AI and singularity is coming soon to replace all this kaka of superheroes. The film is an endless parade of senseless violence with no resolution; and my observation is exactly the same as one of the characters portrayed in the film: Bernard, the comic book reader who wasted an hour on some silly, violent pirate fantasy and came to the conclusion "This makes no sense" . Right you are, Bernard. And this film is in the same category. Kaka.