Wow, what a ...

Rating: 2/10 (13 August 2009)

.... sprawling mess of a movie. Watched the director's cut of this thing, and I have to say it's one of the worst movies I've seen in quite a while. Not because of the acting or special effects or any of that--no, it was hands down the most convoluted and ridiculous adaptations of a graphic novel I have ever seen.
I remember reading the Watchmen graphic novel back when I was in college. Thought it was pretty cool, but then again, I was only 19 or so. Now, I have to say, whatever the graphic novel had to offer then, it's been completely bastardized by this movie. It tries so hard to be grand and edgy and full of odd topicality, that it ends up just becoming a parody of itself. I mean, who the *f* really cares what happens with Dr. Manhattan and why he is exiled to another planet? So what if Ms. Jupiter or whatever the *f* she's called finds out her dad is the *f'n* Comedian? And so Mr. Smartypants manages to save the world through some obscene plot that involves pinning the murder of millions on the blue head of Dr. Manhattan? So what! And the godlike cypher decides to run off to some other galaxy to create maybe even life itself. How *f'n* grandiose and at the same time inconsequential!
Honestly, I'm trying to think of anything that really redeems this movie, and I'm only coming up w/ bupkis. Bupkis, I tell you!
Oh, and did I mention the over-the-top graphic violence? I'm usually not one to give a damn about such things, but even this was too much for me. Totally gratuitous. Avoid this degenerate, costumed freak show at all costs.