3hrs you will never get back...

Rating: 1/10 (7 March 2009)

First off I never read the book and had the only expectation/hope that it would entertain like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or Hellboy... not. What a disaster of a film. This plot plods along and stumbles all over itself. Other than a hint of Film-Noir murder mystery and some sudo intellectual babbling by the giant blue Smurf who's genitalia seem to make their appearance with ever increasing frequency for no apparent reason. Gratuitous sex scenes that appear with all the grace of a 70's "b" grade porn flick. Graphic violence for the sake of violence. Seemed forced or maybe added just to keep you from falling asleep. Oh and here's an original story, Earth must be saved, humans are the problem. And the attempt to revive the whole "assured nuclear destruction" was laughable and forced. Played out like an after-school special. Maybe that's why they had to make the present day 1985 like it was an afterthought. Now one thing that screamed out very early was the constant preaching and tired liberal BS. Dear God, Nixon was elected for a third term. Even jabs at Reagan couldn't be escaped in the closing minutes. The portrayal of Nixon on screen was an unforgivable prancing caricature. It's as if a group of aging liberal hippies who fantasize and relive the glory days of Watergate, fired up their old bong and spit out this entire script. The constant jabs and digs at republicans and/or conservative values was beyond obvious and was downright annoying after the first 20 mins. Tune in for dozens more spattered throughout what is almost 3 hours. Finally, the one shining light in this movie was the performance of Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. Of course he sounded like a conservative so they had to kill him off before the movie ended. Figures.