Watchmen...In the nude?

Rating: 3/10 (3 April 2009)

I've waited about 3 weeks to write this review because I wanted the enormous disappointment of the massive media hype to wear off. Now that I have though about it objectively, the verdict is the same, this movie sucks. Now I am not a struggling movie critic, nor do I claim to be more intelligent or cultured than my movie-watching brethren. This review is from the eyes of someone who has lived their live in front of the TV.
This movie suffered from the same problem the DaVinci Code did, media hype for over a year before the movie opened raised expectations so high, there was no way this movie could ever deliver. Except other Super Hero movies that were super hyped did (i.e. Iron Man and Dark Knight). To add to the "mystique" the "in the know" geeks who read the graphic novel (code word for comic, used by men who are too old to read comics), kept promoting this movie as the mother of all comic book movies.
The inherent problems with this movie have been well documented here by other reviewers. The characters are undeveloped (we never end up caring what happens to anyone), the story is ridiculous (it all started with the gangs, then cops...), none of the super heroes actually have super powers (with the exception of Dr. Manhattan), laughable dialogue (the writers were more concerned with delivering one liners that could later be used by 2 of the writers of Scary Movie) and above all this movie took itself way to serious. Not even the bloody Passion of the Christ was as pretentious as this turd.
To say that this movie is comparable to The Dark Knight is downright slander. In fact, all of the Super Hero movies in the past year have super seeded this crap. If you end up watching this abomination and still think it is equal to the Dark Knight, then this review wasn't for you...you may fall into the below 18 male demographic. You know the type, the kind that think a smurf with his penis showing, some pseudo pornographic scenes and a few F-bombs sprinkled about for good measure add up to an edgy flick. These heroes are so weak Peter Patrelli from the current TV show would tear these J.O.'s a new one.
In closing, there was one character in this movie with superpowers, as previously stated, the good ole Dr. Manhattan. The man that for no reason walked around naked for a large part of the movie. The negative effect of his powers was that people close to him would develop cancer, due to the high levels of radiation he put off. If not for his acting his superpowers were transcendent of the big screen because after sitting in the theater for two hours, you'll feel like your undergoing chemotherapy.