Too long and too boring for it's own good.

Rating: 6/10 (8 March 2009)

The first big blockbuster of 2009 is upon us with Zack Snyder's take on 'Watchmen', one of the biggest graphic novels ever. Snyder has made a movie so large, so massive, and so epic that it collapses under its own weight. There is no denying that it is technically brilliant, much like Snyder's previous 2 efforts - in fact, it is probably his most technically marvelous creation yet - but that doesn't change the fact that Snyder's near 3 hour film is too long for its own good, and despite a story that lives up to its reputation, is unbelievably boring.
I was lucky enough to see this movie with a lot of people who read the graphic novel so I got their opinions as well. We all discussed how we felt about it, and they all insisted that I needed to read the novel...that's all well and good, and I'm sure (more like positive) that the novel is indeed legendary, but it appears as if Snyder has pulled a Chris Columbus and made a direct translation from page to screen. What must be understood is that things that work in a novel may not work on a movie screen. You can have two hours of character development in a novel (or the equivalent, I guess), because books are meant to be that long. In a film, you cannot afford to have 2 hours of character development in a movie that runs just under 3 hours. It simply will bore the viewer to bits, especially when the action is few and far between. Don't get me wrong, the characters are all very interesting people that deserve their screen time - but that's what Extended Edition DVDs are for. I have a feeling I'll love this movie on DVD - when I see the full cut and have the ability to pause. In a movie theater setting, however, 'Watchmen' is simply too boring, empty, and heavy to be enjoyed like other comic book movies of late.
What drives 'Watchmen' would be the allure of the characters. While some, like Patrick Wilson's, are simply boring ripoffs, the others, such as Jackie Earle Haley's Rorschach and Billy Crudup's Dr. Manhattan, are phenomenal. Those two are easily the best thing about the movie, while Jeffrey Dean Morgan's take on The Comedian is a close third. Each of these actors gives their character their all, including their heart and soul. Haley's turn as Rorschach could be the performance of a lifetime as the ruthless, immoral, yet somehow good hero with a mask as mysterious as his attitude. No matter how cruel his character may be, it is Haley's convictions that assures us of the true goodness of the character.
I found myself eagerly awaiting almost any scene with Dr. Manhattan, and while women will obviously enjoy him the most (I'll get to that in a minute), I was particularly impressed with Crudup's ability to channel what might be one of the most emotionally detached character's I've ever seen. Crudup's turn is monotone, but never droll or wooden. It is all the more impressive because the only part of Crudup himself that's in the finished product (besides the flashbacks) would be his facial expressions.
While those were the stars of the show, I wish I could say the same for the others. I think Patrick Wilson was confused as to which character he was playing. He played his character as if he was Captain America, instead of trying to carve a niche as a new character. There was nothing I hadn't seen already in this performance. Malin Akerman really needs to stop being like Jessica Alba and being either stupid, wooden, or both. Matthew Goode is the only acceptable one of this bunch.
While 'Watchmen' certainly boasts a number of technical marvels, the film is under-edited and feels extremely episodic as a result. Was this Snyder's intention? Did he want to replicate the feeling that original readers got awaiting the next issue? Whether or not that was his goal, it's something he did, and it really bores the viewer to pieces. I really can't stress how flat out bored I got in this movie. Even the action is so sparse and unexciting that I just really couldn't get invested in the film, because I half expected myself to walk out. Yes, the film's editing is terrible...but it is beautifully shot, and just looks like a dream. 'Watchmen' is one of the most visually pleasing films you'll come across...except one...problem...
Gratuitous nudity. Was it REALLY necessary to show Dr. Manhattan completely naked in 75% of his scenes? I think that one or two scenes of nudity from him would of been enough, once in the sex scene, and once to get across how detached from humanity he is. My friend told me that it was to show how he didn't care about human emotion and embarrassment, so why would he wear clothing? That's FINE when you're reading it...you can skip to the next page. But in this case, you are pulled out of your experience in the film to say, "Holy crap, it's a blue c~ck". It's sad when a simple addition of a cloth could have saved me losing my focus and wondering why it needed to be shown.
Is 'Watchmen' the product of a lot of hard work that shows? Yes. Is 'Watchmen' a good movie? In a word, no. It's crippled by a director's need to please a supposedly rabid fanbase with what appeared to me to be a near direct translation from page to screen. I did like the film's ending and story as a whole, but it is extremely hard to become invested in said ending and story because of the fact that 'Watchmen' is a film purely for those who have read the comic, and is extremely boring and overlong. In my eyes, it is a disappointment.