One of the Worst...

Rating: 1/10 (14 March 2009)

I never write many reviews but I am just amazed at the surprisingly high ratings "Watchmen" has received on IMDb. Though I am a fan of the original comic and feel it is, in fact, a great work of literature and not just a "Graphic Novel" I am very capable of separating this review into two parts: the film as an adaptation and the film as a standalone piece: 1.) As an Adaptation "Watchmen" is a complete and utter failure. The two most important chapters, IV and VI, are reduced to about 10-12m mins of screen time and yet a fight scene with Nite Owl, Laurie and about 50+ inmates is inserted (not in the comic) along with an excessive sex scene and they last almost 6-8 mins. There is absolutely no sense of the world that Watchmen takes place in and the use of music is atrocious. The most important aspect of the graphic novel is not the mystery plot of who killed The Comedian, it is what is being said and Zach et al apparently did not "get it". They delivered a mediocre action film that doesn't convey 10% of the philosophy of Watchmen.
2.) As a stand alone film "Watchmen" is a bore. The acting is some of the most terrible I have seen on the big screen in my life. Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Matthew Goode are so bad one wonders how anyone would even hire these people let alone have them star in a movie that costs 10s of millions of dollars. They are stiff, uncomfortable and you feel absolutely nothing for them. The action is not exciting: I actually became bored watching the OPENING fight between Veidt & The Comedian. Somehow Zach Snyder (who made two of my recent favorites in 300 and Dawn of the Dead) was able to make a violent rape scene and the vicious murder of a pregnant woman feel empty and leave me unmoved.
This film is a truly terrible mess that fails on every level.