Puerile, sophomoric drivel

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2009)

In what has to be the final spasm of the superhero genre, "Watchmen" displays the narrative bankruptcy and dramatic inadequacy of an Uwe Boll movie.
Tired, dull characters in Spenser's Gifts outfits flouncing around in a boring plot that moves along like your Grandma's childhood memories.
The dare here is that the audience will actually be bothered to stay with the quasi-fascist, "individual-hero-as-Messiah," BS long enough to make it to Dr. Manhattan's realization that the birth of his latest squeeze - the result of her mother's attraction to a former rapist "superhero"- is close enough to a miracle for him to give a crap about the human race.
I'm off to Mars.