A Clock with a Lousy Craftsman

Rating: 5/10 (14 March 2009)

Watchmen, as a book, was a fantastic character piece about the dark internal struggles of hypothetical costumed heroes. It was a deep, emotional, and often intellectual piece of art. The potential was always there for someone to take this most celebrated graphic novel of all time, and turn it into a great movie; A movie that would give physical portrayal to the personal struggles and the idealistic contradictions of the Watchmen. A film version of Watchmen would have touched some, and shaken others on a profound emotional level.
So, to whom do we hand this daunting cinematic task? Zack. Freaking Snyder. The freaking creator of 300. Seriously. Let's get the guy who directed The Iliad for dummies, and have him crap all over a dark, emotionally powerful script.
Snyder dumbs down the movie, turning it into an overzealous popcorn flick. He gears the movie towards the same morons that creamed their pants over the CGI effects in 300. The result, of course, is a totally paradoxical movie going experience: a clash between the psychological ambitions of the book, and combination of cheesy action scenes and misguided acting for which Zack Snyder can be blamed.
I have to admit, the first two scenes of the move were greatespecially with the songs that they were put to. The opening act, in which the Comedian is murdered, is made into a great piece of sonic irony by the lighthearted, soulful music that's played in the background ("Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole). This is immediately followed by one of the best opening credit montages in recent memory, as the book's various appendices (read the book, you'll see) are touched upon to the sound of Bob Dylan's "The Times They are A-Changin'".
That's about where any praise for the filmmakers should end. Any brilliance in the rest of the movie is derived directly from the source material. Even Dr. Manhattan's great philosophical dialogs are not fully explored. The "clock without a craftsman" quote is there, albeit not in its entirety. Manhattan's "nothing ever ends" quote is said not by him to Veidt, but by Laurie to Dan (stupid, more on this later). On Mars, Manhattan tells Laurie that he has realized that her existence is a miracle because her mother hated her father, but that neglects the deeper motive behind his return to earth: in the book he explains that each human is a miracle because it took millions of random chances for each one to result in so specific a form.
The most glaring omission from the movie was the prison psychologist's internal realization of life's fragility. This was, in my opinion, the most important subplot of the book. By neglecting this, as well as Laurie and Dan's passionate exchange on the third-to-last page, the movie almost completely ignores one of the novel's central themes (the fragility of life). Yet another aspect of the movie that scoffed at its own potential.
OK, I'm ready. I'm ready to disclose my biggest beef with this film; the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest. Veidt and Manhattan. THEY CHANGED THE CHARACTERS! THEY CHANGED THE FREAKING CHARACTERS! How is anyone who read the book not OUTRAGED by this?!?! In the book, Manhattan is an all-knowing, god-like figure that has grown emotionless with time. He gradually loses connection with humanity, only to regain an appreciation for it while on Mars with Laurie. The movie made him too human.
On the contrary, the movie completely dehumanized Veidt, to the point that he wasn't even a realistic character. Zack Snyder made Veidt into the robotic super villain that his stupid popcorn flick needed. It, reminded me of every cheesy 80's movie in which the bad guy is some rich, preppy, blonde douche bag with a popped collar, a red Delorean, and no emotion whatsoever. Remember the bad guy from the Karate Kid? That's what Zack Snyder made Adrian Veidt into.
By living with the guilt of killing millions of innocent people, Veidt saved humanity with the ultimate sacrifice. Only the book truly acknowledges this. Veidt did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. Only the book truly acknowledges this. Afterward, Veidt is uncertain and insecure about the actual morality of his decision. Only the book even makes this possible, let alone acknowledges it.
The last scene at Veidt's Antarctic lair, in the book, is of Veidt asking Manhattan if, in the end, he did the right thing. Manhattan replies "Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends." Veidt then knows that right or wrong, he must live with the decision he's made. It's the culmination of an entire book's worth of moral, philosophical inquiries. The movie omits it. Zack Snyder knows that, right or wrong, he must live with the decision he's made. Screw you Zack Snyder.