Who Walks Out of 'Watchmen'?

Rating: 7/10 (11 March 2009)

Lest some of my comments to follow be overly negative, I will preface this review by stating forthright that I enjoyed the film overall and do appreciate the efforts of everyone involved to adapt material that's definitely not so easy to condense and for creating another "mature" comic book movie. Director Zack Snyder is about as faithful to the source material as could be expected without making the picture twice as long.
As a lifelong comic book reader and collector, it shames me to say I finished reading the graphic novel for the first time only a day prior to seeing the movie. Knowing how critically acclaimed Alan Moore's and Dave Gibbons' limited series remains almost 25 years after its initial release, I wanted to familiarize myself with the source material beforehand. While their work met my admittedly astronomical expectations, the film adaption failed to do the same in many regards.
Moore's and Gibbons' work stands as a brilliant deconstruction of the modern superhero, with stimulating commentary on relationships, contemporary sociopolitical issues, and human nature. Snyder's visually arresting piece does not critique or revolutionize the superhero genre to such a degree, but what it does do is present superheroes in a darker, more morally ambiguous light than most moviegoers are used to.
The most likable character in the movie is easily Rorschach, though even he is not quite as complex and intriguing as his graphic novel counterpart. Snyder's Rorschach comes across as an enigmatic, hard-nosed grinder who still manages to retain a morsel of sociability and humanity, whereas Moore's version struck me as a sociopathic loon. Nonetheless, Jackie Earle Haley does an excellent job in the role. The inkblot effects on his mask are very impressive.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian is spot-on. Would've been nice to see him in the gimp mask at least once, but no biggie.
Other than possibly Kovacs, Dr. Manhattan is my favorite character. I've heard a lot of complaints about his exposed penis. Osterman being nude is in keeping with Gibbons' illustrations. I had no problem with it, nor any qualms with Billy Crudup's portrayal of the physicist-turned-demigod. Then again, I am a fully grown adult who doesn't feel the need to cover his eyes or snicker at the mere sight of nudity.
Although Malin Akerman bears a strong resemblance to how I'd imagined a real-life Laurie "Jupiter" Juspeczyk would look, I didn't connect with Silk Spectre II on the silver screen nearly as deeply as I did while reading the graphic novel. There's something lacking in the character development department. Sweet eye candy, sure, but her performance leaves much to be desired.
I felt similarly detached from Night Owl II despite Patrick Wilson giving a superior performance. Can't pinpoint exactly what intangible made it hard for me to connect with them, perhaps the missing or truncated Dreiberg/Hollis Mason and Laurie/Sally moments? Even with the gray hair and wrinkles, the original Silk Spectre, played by Carla Gugino, looks more like Laurie's sister than mother.
Matthew Goode's performance isn't as bad as I'd expected, but Ozymandias needed a stronger on-screen presence. Even though I knew his nature going in, I dislike how obvious Snyder makes it from the outset that Veidt is the diabolical mastermind. A brief explanation of his genetically altered pet Bubastis should've been included somewhere, because I know those unfamiliar with the background story must have been scratching their head about that (among other things).
With the exception of Dr. Manhattan, all the Watchmen are overpowered; these supposed normal human beings appear to possess superhuman speed/agility/strength/reflexes, which made me wonder whether they'd taken the Super Soldier Serum. I believe that Kung Fu and Matrix-style wirework don't really suit gritty, "realistic" street-level vigilantes. Unless the intention was to parody typical action movie fight scenes, the fights are way over-the-top and at the same time inconsequential, since none of them ever seemed to be in serious danger (except when fighting one another).
I didn't care for how violently Night Owl and Silk Spectre dispatched of their would-be robbers in the alleyway. It seemed totally out of character for them to maim and kill perpetrators so callously. You'd expect such methods from The Comedian or Rorschach, but not Dan and Laurie. A few other scenes might've been excessively gory as well, such as Rorschach's handling of the child kidnapper and his prison escape. Don't get me wrong, I'm not terribly squeamish about seeing blood and gore in movies, and the source material itself is quite violent, of course. It simply never struck me as excessive or only there for shock value, yet certain things sort of felt that way as I watched.
Clocking in at just under 3 hours, portions of the picture somehow manage to feel simultaneously drawn out and rushed at the same time. Jon and Laurie's conversation on Mars, for instance, lacks the dramatic impact it should have, due in part to its abruptness and abbreviation, yet I found myself wishing they'd breeze through it to keep the story moving along. Likewise, the final showdown is somewhat convoluted and anticlimactic considering the brevity of what transpires.
Technical issues keep this one from being a masterpiece: muddled storytelling and poor pacing chief among them. There's a baffling amount of flashbacks for a motion picture. Granted, said flashbacks are also present in the original work, but what works in one medium does not always work in another. I imagine all the jumping around between different decades and characters/situations would be a little confusing to the uninitiated.
Did I forget to mention the uninspired score? Songs in the trailers actually fit the movie's tone better than the soundtrack they used.
Hopefully the director's cut addresses some of these criticisms. Like '300', ultimately I found 'Watchmen' aesthetically pleasing and enjoyable but not wholly satisfying. Mr. Snyder clearly has a love for the material, though, so I can respect his enthusiasm and ambition.