prepubescent drivel

Rating: 6/10 (20 March 2009)

Knowing almost nothing about the book, the watchmen carried no biases or expectations. However, it was a painful, prepubescent, dark, shallow-pointless - an ultra violent spectacle driven mostly by slow plot development and over the top special effects and cursing.
Certainly there IS a plot here but it moves quite slowly with purpose and symbolism somewhat lost even if you strip back the special effects and gore. Seemingly the plot tried draw on some kind of twisted reality built on simplistic references to American history even going as far as replicating famous faces such as Nixon, Dan Rather, and Kissenger. Instead of adding to the film, it only enhanced a feeling of pointless clutter.
The super hero's looked like lame cheap knockoffs (except for the digital Dr. Manhatten) who went around glorifying violence (and murder) as they performed dark justice on anyone who was in their way. Sadly, even the slow motion Matrix-like fighting sequences (with an emphasis on gore) seemed to be begging for attention.
As the plot dragged on and on, it sadly turned me into the watchman of the digital clock on my cell phone - Eventually I walked out of the theater after about 1 hour of trying to say interested.
In the end, I was left with an empty feeling one might get from an emptying and entire bag of greasy popcorn - and like the movie, something probably only enjoyed without recourse by a teenager. I would recommend that you watch for the DVD.