The Watchman is the most appalling movie I've ever seen. Possibly the most foul, violent, trite, morally reprehensible pastiche of American cinema ever.

Rating: 1/10 (9 March 2009)

So the world is about to go into the last stages of annihilation and the only one that can save it is a blue frontally naked stand-in for God. The most eloquent ambassador that is sent on behalf of humankind is a leather booted large-breasted tramp who stomps when she doesn't get her way? This is because our pagan god left his loyal wife for the prostitute and apparently she is the most precious thing mankind has left to offer, even though she sleeps with everyone else. Unfortunately for mankind, she seems more traumatized by the discovery of her illegitimate birth than the hundreds of millions of people that are about to die. But luckily for her, the people do get bombed to a grotesque withering mass death but we discover that her mother loves her so it's OK.
It's offensive on every level imaginable. Pregnant women get shot. Women get raped, but return for more. Little girls are mutilated and fed to dogs, but this violence is justified by more violence. Namely the masked avenger hacking the kidnapper with an ax until there is nothing left but some bloody pulpy mass.
But worse it doesn't just try to be gratuitous violence married with the most vulgar and cliché adolescent pornography---the sickening part is that it comports itself as a profound reflection on mankind. As if all that was done was justified by some shoddy mythological and not even arcane historical references and inane attempt at a discussion on Deism. The most trenchantly ironic part of the film is its attempt to critique the violence and repulsive aspects of human nature but then perpetuates it by tainting the minds of anyone who watched with its filth.
Anyone who enjoyed the movie should reconsider their consumptive and putrid existence.