A Tough Call: Length, Dialogue, and Confusing Narration Take Away From The Overall Enjoyment

Rating: 7/10 (7 March 2009)

The biggest challenge for directors and screenplay writers  who are forced to deal with significant source material  is to make a movie that'll appeal to a broad audience while not alienating those fans who love what the film's based on; in this case, The Watchmen graphic novels/comics created by Alan Moore. Released via DC Comics in 1986 and 1987, the twelve book limited series quickly developed a cult following thanks to the truly graphic nature in which superheroes were depicted. Artist Dave Gibson and colorist John Higgins gave readers gritty images that swerved far beyond the comfort zone of most graphic novel fans, giving us heroes with flaws so grand it would make Penthouse and Playboy Magazine editors blush.
The film rights for WATCHMEN were snapped up in 1986 and several production companies, directors, screenplay artists and others attempted adaptations that were promptly shelved. Directors such as Terry Gilliam (TIDELAND), David Hayter (X-Men) and Darren Aronofsky (THE WRESTLER and THE FOUNTAIN) were at different times slated to take on the film, but eventually backed out. Aronofsky I think was an interesting choice, specifically because I so enjoyed his visual take on The Fountain. But Gilliam deserves quite a bit of credit for saying something that rings truer than most. He said, "I'd direct the Watchmen if it could be made into a five hour miniseries." Hmm. Considering the extensive source material, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea. And considering the length of this sucker (163 minutes with an extended version that adds another twenty), one can't help but wonder what Gilliam would've done with it. But, instead, we got Zach Snyder (300) and a theatrical release this year (2009).
Not taking anything away from Snyder, he did pretty well with what he got, which was an overstuffed script filled with some sketchy dialogue. But he also had some great visuals and an amazing musical score that really rocked the film on many different levels. The music came from so many sources that it boggles my mind. Nat King Cole. Bob Dylan. Simon & Garfunkel. Jimi Hendrix. And even KC and the Sunshine Band. All of the songs were well incorporated into the story and gave an added flavor to the scenes.
One also MUST take note of the film's well-deserved R rating. The F-word is liberally sprinkled throughout, as is the act itself. One particularly steamy scene inside an aircraft reveals every inch of two prime characters, and I do mean EVERY INCH. Violence is rampant, just as it should've been, but parents might think  this being a based on a "comic book"  that it is relatively harmless, Spiderman-like action. Not so. Dismemberment. Superheroes shooting  and killing  pregnant women. Rape. All of these are predominantly in the film's forefront, showing us the deconstruction of the superhero mythos envisioned by the graphic novels' original artist, Alan Moore.
While the films visual qualities, sound, and music are something for fans to cheer about, the terrible dialogue, butt-numbing length, and confusing narration sequences pull the movie down quite a few notches. Initially seeming to be Rorschach's responsibility to narrate what's come before and after (Rorschach is a cop with a face only a psychologist could love and played very well by Jackie Earle Haley, LITTLE CHILDREN), the narration then jumps to Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup, THE GOOD SHEPHERD)  whom I've affectionately renamed Mr. Penis  and back, and then back again to Rorschach. Since we're basically viewing the film via Rorschach's journal, I think sticking with him would've been the best and least confusing way to go.
An example of the film's bad dialogue are just too easy to find: "I know who my father was," and "It doesn't take a genius to see the world has problems," and the lowly "Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon." Even with these significant flaws, it's worth praising Zach Snyder for having the testes to move forward and make this film. That, in itself, is nothing short of miraculous. But it doesn't negate the obstacles that could've made this a truly great film. Perhaps a trilogy would've been better?