Trailer for novel

Rating: 6/10 (14 March 2009)

Watchmen the film is a gorgeous 3 hour long trailer for Watchmen the novel. Yes, it is a faithful adaptation of the plot of the novel. All the "important" characters are there, moving from one memorable scene from the novel to another. They are speaking in paroles, one memorable sentence following another, replicated from the script of distilled "plot-related" word bubbles of the book. In theory, this should work just fine, serving multiple purposes of broad appeal and money that comes with it, that are expected from modern mainstream blockbuster. In all honesty, I wish it does well on the box office, just so long it doesn't tarnish it's future evaluation. But, for now, film is just not adequate.
Watchmen the novel is a work of art, transcending not only it's medium, but even reader's comprehension of it. It is a massive achievement of words and images, crafted with a watchmakers precision. Multiple story lines mix together from one panel to another, words dance and intertwine, one word bubble commenting on actions of different characters chapters back. It is an experience like no other and achievable only in it's own medium.
When it comes to the film, that experience is non existed. Narrative technique, the most important part of the novel, is reduced to simple, straight forward plot development. There is no meat on the bone, no lushness of the novel, the way every frame was crammed with details and information. For example, Rorschach's prison experience is a story within a story of a man becoming "strange". His mother, the boys in the street, Kitty Genovese, dogs..., are all little pieces inside of him, memories, imprinted in the very fiber of his being, into his very face. In the film, dr. Malcolm, his interrogator, is a mere "easter egg", the ruination of his life at the realizations Rorschach brings "is not important enough", obviously. And that is the problem with everything in the movie! Almost every character is an easter egg, a nudge towards the fans. Dan and Lauires path of emotions just some regular Joe comedy and awkward slow motion sex. It is inexcusable that slow and sexy moments of the novel (like the whole "I think I caught the title" part) are transformed into an ironic parody, a self aware likable awkwardness.
Novel loses it's meaning the moment you think it's plot is relevant. Watchmen's plot is one of the least important aspects of the book. The whole plot of dr. Manhattans chapter is that he is sitting on Mars. And yet, it is long, deep, sad and powerful meditation on life. All the movie offers is a translation of some scenes to the screen, with the best lines as narration. And that in itself is absurd. There is no substance, especially not "Watchmen-experience" substance.
There are parts that are terrible, meaningless and pointless. The narrators of the whole story, news papers vendor and the kid with the comic are non existent, their death at the end present (it is a MEMORABLE scene, after all) and lacking any sense or any kind of emotion. And that should have been at least a part of the f*ing point.
There are numerous gorgeous parts, even some fine alterations to some elements (docs studio confrontation), but they only serve the plot. Something that should have been just a part of the experience.
All in all, Watchmen is an OK film. They had the makings of Godfather greatness in the material, they chose to make a film with pointless plot out of it. They stripped everything, they sterilized every scene, they reduced the intricacies of the narrative to string of scenes that don't amount to much. It's mediocrity is it's biggest fault.