Mechanical and only occasionally sublime

Rating: 5/10 (6 March 2009)

If Zach Snyder's intent was to make the cinematic equivalent of reading a comic book when he made this movie, then he succeeded, for better or for worse.
This was one of the most mechanical movies I've seen in a long time. Every inch of this movie seemed to be crafted with the precision of a surgeon and an unbelievable amount of respect for the source material, excluding the ending, which is radically different from the novel. Because of the precision and carefulness of the crafting, however, the movie often feels lifeless and inorganic. In Watchmen, New York City is transformed from the City That Never Sleeps to the City That Just Is. It's flat, soulless, and mind-numbingly dull. This drabness carries on into the storyline itself, which drags on for an exhausting three hours, and only occasionally does it become the vibrant, sublime work of art that the graphic novel is. Even the movie's grisly action sequences seem to be more rote than riot.
Jackie Earle Haley, for the most part, makes this movie. He is completely believable as Rorschach, and despite his performance being mostly one-note and monotone, he seems to be the most three-dimensional character of the bunch, thanks largely to the enigmatic nature of his persona combined with how much of a sheer bad-ass he is. The rest of the performances range from solid to awful. Patrick Wilson is enjoyably goofy as Nite Owl II, and Billy Crudup captures the aloofness and disenchantment of Dr. Manhattan fairly well. Matthew Goode tries his best but ultimately his performance as Ozymandias lacks the punch it should have had. Malin Akerman winds up delivering the weakest performance in the movie. The casting director that decided to give her the role of Silk Spectre II needs to lose their job. The only thing that Akerman did well in this movie was look good both in and out of her jumpsuit, while completely failing to capture the essence of the character she was portraying.
At times, the movie is brilliant. The scenes with Rorschach in prison are executed well. Several of the flashback scenes carry some unexpected dramatic punch. The new ending is fairly well done.
I just have this feeling that the producers and the director were a little too obsessed with keeping the movie as true to the novel as possible, and wound up sucking most of the life and the humanity out of the project as a result. What resulted was a draining film experience that felt more like turning the pages of a book than the organic experience a movie should be. And after considering that reality, I'll stick with the comic, as should you.