How could a film be this boring?

Rating: 2/10 (11 July 2010)

*SPOILERS*
OK i just wanna start with asking; how can so many people like this film? I really did believe this film would be good. Action, superheros, violence and dark themes.
What it ACTUALLY turned out to be was a film about some blue guy with god-like powers who walks around with his tiny, radioactive, flaccid penis hanging out almost the whole film continuously changing his opinion on the human race. Not to mention the monotone narrator; Rorschach who has a voice that sounds as if he has been smoking for 80 years and has had throat cancer 10 times. Already these things together make the film horrible but no, there's more!
Other main characters include: A cowardice, nerdy ripoff of batman, a complete douchebag who has a cigar with a seemingly infinite amount of tobacco in it and a woman with pretty much no unique characteristics who, after her partner; Dr. Manhattan (the blue guy) tries to insert one of his multiple penises into her anus, cheats on him with the nerdy batman wannabe.
The script was the most cliché'd boring thing I've ever heard in my lifetime, the characters sucked as none of them actually had super powers thus pretty much rendering this 'Superhero' film into a mere 'Hero' film.
With the exception of Dr.Manhattan who isn't actually a hero. Actually if anything; he is a villain because he makes people get cancer. This indecisive character goes from being a scientist and trying to benefit mankind to being upset and feeling bad for giving people cancer to then having a strop and sitting on mars living in his random, giant, floating... Thing and saying he doesn't care about mankind to killing Rorschach to give peace on Earth to then having another strop and saying hes leaving and never coming back. If Dr.Manhattan can do everything, why cant he cure the people of cancer? Oh yeah i know why; because the film is terrible and the script writer completely sucks and doesn't know what a plot hole is.
Rorschach, who is debatably the main character, is basically a criminal as he ends up in prison somehow, who seemingly has a serious throat disorder, a messed up childhood and is now someone who has no friends at all who constantly talks non-stop about his crappy life and wears a mask that has a moving graphic on it. Well thank god for the mask because when he takes it off you see his true face which is basically like a ginger, junkie who hasn't bathed since he was 9. Although i hate this character more than some, he does actually have the privilege of having the best.. No... The ONLY good scene in the whole film. Yes, brace yourself... An ACTION scene. I know right! An action scene in a movie about hero's? How strange. Yes this scene where Rorschach breaks out of prison is actually GOOD. Wow thank god. 10 minutes of good in a film that is 2 and a half hours long. That is of course assuming your watching the kindest version of the film. There is believe it or not, two other versions. One of which plays for 24 minutes longer than the original and another which should be called 'The Nightmare Edition' which plays for a total of 215 minutes long. Yes. 3 hours and 35 minutes long. I didn't even know the human brain could endure such boredom without shutting down. Then again, i have seen the film Joshua, which was undoubtedly much more boring.
There is so much more i could say but i don't want to waste anymore time even thinking about this atrocious piece of crap.
I know my opinions are very strong but i seriously hated this film with such a burning passion that i had to share my opinions somewhere.
So in conclusion, i thought this film was painfully uninteresting and boring, annoyingly bad characters, too long, had only one good scene, good mood setting screenplay but overall just plain terrible. And for that, i give it two stars out of ten.