Mein Superheldenkampf

Rating: 1/10 (29 July 2009)

Even in the golden age, not all comics were made for adults – Robin Hood and Davy Crocket still had their audience. Following a trend towards science fiction, they became superheroes.
Some of the early DC material wasn't too bad, but when Marvel came along, the rot set in, the target audience becoming younger and younger, until finally settling around six to eight years (and those of comparable intelligence). To understand, how big this audience is, one only has to look at the budget of movies like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.
Superheroes are back, but different. Whereas the creators of Superman and Batman were merely bringing a moment's joy to the boy, who was half a man, the people behind schlock epics like WATCHMEN are neither.
They are, quite simply, retarded. While their intelligence hasn't evolved since infancy, their sexuality and aggressive tendencies are those of the adolescent.
Their ideas of heroes and villains may still be those of a child, but the violence that fascinates them is not cartoon violence, and when you add the kiddie version of politics, Nixon and the Vietnam War, you get something very close to Nazism. In WATCHMEN the saint-like hero "kills millions to save billions" – you can almost hear Adolf shout: I told them so! After three hours of disintegrating people, you can hardly be surprised. Apparently, superheroes no longer save kittens from trees, and only rescue children from burning buildings as a sexual stimulant.
Human beings, after all, are "termites" to be exterminated as part of a greater plan or simply because they're not worth preserving. As always, the only excuse for this kind of Fascism is impenetrable stupidity, which is much in evidence here.
Not even the sorriest retired western hero in baggy underpants can match these idiots in all their transvestite glory, nor will it surprise anyone to discover that the female romantic lead is now no more than a rubber-doll with the intellectual powers of a vibrator. The visuals are ugly, the effects those of a cheesy video game, and it all goes on for 186 minutes, something of which the viewer is at all times painfully aware.