Undead on Arrival...that's my clever way of say it sucked.

Rating: 1/10 (16 October 2013)

Warm Bodies is one of the worst films I have ever seen. I was praying for a zombie to jump out of the screen and eat my eyes, but that would be way too graphic for a shamefully hindering PG-13 rating. I could barely get past the opening credits before I started to wish I was dead. Ironically enough, the script was so excruciatingly awful that after my brother and I made it about 10 minutes in, it started to hurt our braaaaaaaaaaaaaains! All kidding aside, because I don't want this review to come off as cutesy and nauseatingly candy-ass as Warm Bodies itself, one has to wonder if this entire god awful production/crap-fest was completely funded in secrecy by Hot Topic in a desperate attempt to sell more hoodies. It is one thing for a movie to be stupid, but when it is pretentious to boot, I just can't stomach garbage of that magnitude and in this regard, Warm Bodies is by far the greatest offender of all. In all seriousness, the synopsis/tag-line to this film should just be "zombies are like so adorable." I mean chances are that was the pitch the director gave to the studio. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the screenplay as well. George A. Romero's poops should have more credibility in the realm of Zombie cinema than this debacle. It could have been a Disney film, but there wasn't enough blood. Never mind that it was so boring, predictable, wrote, and hackney that I was doing more moaning and groaning than the freaking zombies as I struggled to watch it. If there is one positive thing that can be said about Warm Bodies, assuming you take it out of context, I guess it would be that watching it truly is a zombifying experience.
P.S. Shame on you, John Malkovich!