Exactly what I expected from Speilbore

Rating: 4/10 (3 July 2005)

On my deathbed, I will have many regrets. One prominent in my mind is the $15 Speiberg still owes me that I spent to see A.I. Now, adding to the tab is "War of the Worlds", a perfectly good book and seminal 50's classic film blasted to smithereens by Spielberg's Death Ray of Boredom. Let's admit that, with a decent movies such as "Schindler's List" and "Amistad", it's hard to go wrong, unless a little song-and-dance or comedy were included as people were killed. Even Spielberg isn't that stupid, but he simply has no sense of what causes suspense in a film. Aside from the endless plot and logic holes that destroy the story faster than any invading aliens could, (no one on Earth ever noticed hundreds or thousands of fifteen-story metal machines buried in the ground?) and the vending-machine acting performances I find the main problem here is that the important conflict (for conflict is what drives characters to move through the plot) is between the aliens and the people of Earth. Instead of spending film time developing the "us-versus-them" convention that is demanded by this story, Spielberg wastes the energy on developing conflict between father and son, husband and ex wife, main protagonist and stranger, etc. He gets so distracted with those relationships that it's possible the aliens could have gotten bored and gone home, and we wouldn't know about it because we're forced to watch Sentispeilbergmental plot-diluting scenes. The end of the movie, which should be based on the the relief that everyone on Earth still alive is now safe, is passed over in favor of a smarmy father/son reconciliation of a schism that should never have happened. Spielberg's greatest clue of how to handle this story is right in the title, "War of the Worlds", not "Jimmy and Jenny learn to like Daddy again." I have generally found that this is the main problem with all of his films. Think of the Velociaptors-in-the-kitchen scene from "Jurrassic Park." How stupid would it have been to have the two kids arguing over something mundane instead of trying not to be eaten? It would have robbed that whole scene of any direness crucial to its effect. Spielberg does exactly that with much of this movie.
Lastly, a plot hole that made us laughing in our seats. Everyone is hungry. Robbie has brought only bread, peanut butter, and condiments as sustenance. Rachel is allergic to peanut butter. Ray is furious. He throws the slathered bread onto the window resulting in a lucky once-in-a-lifetime adhesion. Hunger! What will they eat! Where will they find food? This all takes place in the kitchen of an obviously well-stocked home. Personally, I would have looked in the refrigerator, duh.