Bore of the Worlds

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2005)

Ugh, what an awful movie! War of the Worlds is the "modern adaptation" of the classic tale of murderous aliens come to do us harm. This movie starts, runs, and ends with a serious of contradictions and ridiculous situations that beg the question, "What's the point of this movie?" Tom Cruise plays Ray Farrier, a crane operator who ends up having to babysit his two kids while his now-pregnant-by-another-man ex and her new dude go to Boston for a weekender (can you smell the dramatic tension?). From there, mysterious lightning storms erupt near Cruise's house and everyone runs to see what's happening. Of course, killer robots from Mars or whatever come up from underground and the slaughter begins.
Cruise apparently has several superpowers in this movie. He has the uncanny ability to avoid the alien death beams while people in front, behind, and next to him are vaporized. He has cat-like reflexes, which allow him to run, jump, and hide while holding his 10 year old daughter. He can also bore you to death with his mostly emotionless performance.
Several glaring plot holes exist: First, the EMP from the lightning storm wipes out every car in the city, but the mechanics at the local shop manage to repair a minivan in the few minutes between storm's end and the carnage beginning. Cruise and crew hide out in a basement cellar while an airplane (!) lands on the house, and emerge unscathed. (BTW, why did that house have a boiler when they also clearly show a gas furnace in the next scene). EMP in this movie seems to operate selectively - all the cars are wiped out but the ferry still runs, as do the military vehicles. The diner still has power when nothing else does.
By the end of this magnificent turd, you end up rooting for the aliens and wishing they would squish Cruise already and turn him into fertilizer. There is no plot, it's two hours of watching Cruise run from basement to basement hiding until the aliens just all mysteriously die at the end. The lesson here? When the world ends, all you need to do is run aimlessly around the countryside carrying a 10 year old and if you run long enough, the evil aliens will all just drop dead.
This movie stunk.