Spielberg's Sloppiest Movie Ever?

Rating: 3/10 (5 July 2005)

Spielberg, Spielberg, Spielberg. We expect so much more out of you. Yes, your movie has great special effects. Yes, you will make tons of money off the movie. But come on, this is YOU. Anyone with a large enough budget can excrete great special effects these days. From you, we expect a story that works. We expect not to be forced to watch a plodding storyline and the most uninteresting aspect of alien invasion possible. We expect a solid movie where one's ability to poke holes in it is a job few amateurs could pull off. Yet, you give us this. From anyone else, maybe it would be forgiven. From you, it's very, very disappointing.
To be specific about some of the problems that continue to nag me, here's a list of 5 of them (forgive the rampant sarcasm that ensues):
1. You make such a huge deal over how the EMP blasts disable all things electronic. You even show Cruise tapping his wristwatch, showing that even it is not working. Then, only a few minutes later, you zoom in on someone dropping a fully-functioning camcorder, showing the tripod moving throughout New York. What?? Did you guys pay attention when you made your storyboards?
2. No, the solenoids would not have worked in your little scenario. Of course, we're buying into the fantasy you concocted of this massive EMP explosion, so I guess the laws of physics aren't supposed to play a huge role in this movie. OK.
3. Apparently a faster way to Boston than what Cruise did is to join up with a National Guard unit that gets clearly annihilated by the aliens. Well, good.
4. Just how many times will the evil aliens from outer space need to send their Abyss-ripoff metal colonoscopy camera down into the tattered basement of a rural farmhouse? I can understand how that would be a high priority for them.
5. Apparently if you live in Boston, as opposed to the rest of the country, you'll be just fine if you stay inside your townhouse with your parents. No need to flee for your lives. In fact, anyone related to you will never discuss even the remote possibility that you could be in danger at all.
5. Nice narrated ending, about the whole bacteria killed the aliens thing. That made perfect sense and didn't seem off at all. While we're at it, how about we end the TV show "Lost" by having a narration suddenly say "Later, everyone got off the island. The end."