Cliché ridden nonsense

Rating: 2/10 (5 July 2005)

I'll start off the way I mean to go on: I *HATED* this film. The ending couldn't come too soon for me and I can honestly say the only thing I liked about this film was Tom Cruise's jacket. We're supposed to believe that hidden underneath the surface of THE ENTIRE PLANET there were hulking great big metallic tripods just waiting to conquer the earth. Would we have not noticed these things before while excavating cities to build subways and tunnels? Would they not have been picked up by science and technology as we strive to learn more about our planet? Apparently not. Believable over 100 years ago when the story was written, not now.
Another problem with changing around the time period is that the storms supposedly knock out EVERYTHING electrical - even analogue watches. So how is it possible that pictures of invading tripods were transmitted to a TV news van? And how was it possible that they were able to pick them up? And why does the van work? And why does Tom Cruise's car work? And the radio in the car? And do all cars run for 24 hours without needing to be filled up? And why didn't the storm knock out the ferry? Then there's the problem of the characters. Naturally, being a Spielberg film, it involves a dysfunctional family. After the parents divorce, naturally the little screeching girl and the sullen teen boy have "issues". Don't remember them cropping up in the HG Wells version, but that could just be my memory playing tricks with me. Dakota Fanning as the daughter is excellent at portraying a screaming brat who needs to be told to SHUT UP on more than one occasion. She alone is perhaps the reason why I disliked this film so much. I would gladly have sent her to her "safe place" and abandoned her there.
The despondent son never uses the word "dad" until one of those cloying moments when it's necessary to show that he has changed. And why does the son who has no opinion on anything, and who doesn't care about anything, SUDDENLY decide that he simply MUST fight for his country? When did he grow a conscience? And will he turn up safe and sound at the end? Oh, if only it wasn't a Spielberg film then perhaps we might actually bother to guess.
Like the most recent Star Wars film, the special effects are decidedly unspectacular. It's not that there's anything wrong with them as such, but a train with flaming carriages was frankly the only stand-out moment (and I've seen better on TV). The 'evil' tripods were obviously designed with a 1950s pen in hand and the operators seem to be design rejects from Men in Black (a cross between a gremlin and a penis head)  wholly unconvincing as a sign of menace. And that is the greatest problem with the film, there's no sense of danger  just a feeling of irritation with the characters. There's no sense of foreboding when the first tripods appear, just the question "what are they going to blow up?" There's no drama when Tom Cruise decides to reunite his kids with their mother and grandparents, just the feeling that it's a pointless exercise given that THE WHOLE PLANET is under attack. When Tim Robbins appears, it's not a feeling of disquiet that he brings to the screen, only a few more kilos.
After watching our planet for a million years, why did the aliens decide to invade NOW when the world is in such a bad state and when we finally do have the artillery to retaliate. Would they not, having noticed we had started to build powerful weapons, decide to attack then, before we got too powerful? And having observed us for a million years (apparently) would they not have learned even a little about the way we have evolved, how we react to different things, what makes us ill etc. And why do they kill us when it's our blood that they need?