In Case of Alien Invasion, Move to Boston (Spoilers)

Rating: 5/10 (2 July 2005)

Before we start, this review contains numerous spoilers, so don't read it if you don't want most of the plot points and the ending ruined for you.
I'll admit that, after seeing Spielberg's latest, War of the Worlds, I walked out of the theater suitably impressed. However, since then I've thought more about the film and, the more I do think about it, the less the film makes any sort of sense.
First of all, I found the title to be misleading(and yes I know it's based on the book). After all, we only see about five minutes of actual war in the film. It should have instead been titled "Tom Cruise Hides in a Basement," for that is pretty much all that happens for more or less half of the flick. Instead of seeing mass carnage and destruction(which is what the preview depicted), we watch Tom Cruise console his daughter in a cellar. Now, I don't claim to have read the book, but watching a guy sit in a basement is not exciting. It could work in a novel, but in a movie it just doesn't work, especially a movie such as this.
Next on the list is the complete lack of logic to the alien invasion. If what Tim Robbins says is true, and the aliens have been planning their attack for a million years(the fact that the tripods are already buried under our streets supports this claim), then why didn't they just take over the planet when they got here? Did they hold a conference one day and decide, "Gee, we could take this Earth planet now with no effort, or we could wait until there's a species that can defend itself and stupidly attack then" and select the latter option? Also, if they were planning this so long, shouldn't they have realized that they weren't immune to our diseases? Watching the History channel for five minutes would have told them that diseases kill people like mad when they are first introduced. Nice move, aliens.
Finally, I come to the awful ending. Now, earlier in the film, Tom Cruise's son supposedly sacrifices himself in some unknown field where a battle is for some reason occurring. I wasn't entirely sure why, but it was probably because he was dumb and wanted to see the war waging(which I won't blame him for...I wanted to see this battle too but Spielberg wouldn't allow the damn camera to go over the hill). Anyways, there's a huge explosion that no one could have possibly survived, so bye-bye kid, right? WRONG. Somehow, a half hour later, Cruise's son miraculously appears in Boston. How did he get there? How did he survive? Why doesn't he have a scratch on him or even a mild burn? Who the hell cares? It's a sappy, pointlessly happy ending. Also, apparently the aliens decided to leave most of Boston unscathed, because pretty much the entire city block where Cruise's ex-wife lived was immune to their assault(maybe they invested in some sort of alien disintegrater-ray forcefield?). Better yet, his ex-wife's family doesn't even seem distraught or concerned that the Earth just had it's sh*t ruined. But once again, who cares? Cruise didn't lose anyone close to him(not even his mind-numbingly stupid son), so everything's gonna be all right.
I could go on about how lackluster this film was for hours and also list all the little things that didn't make sense, but instead I'll just conclude. This movie was the definition of summer popcorn flick. Even narration by Morgan Freeman couldn't save this one from being pointless. Spielberg has basically made a movie where thinking is completely un-required(unless you want to realize the crap you've just been subjected to). So basically, sit down, turn off your brain, and enjoy the best parts of the film: where everyone and everything is being completely obliterated by the aliens(and there should have been more of it!). Oh yeah, and bring a Gameboy for the basement scenes.