The rotting carcass of the summer event movie

Rating: 4/10 (15 July 2005)

This stinks. I mean, reeks.
The massive, gaping plot holes have been covered well by Ebert et al, but far worse, for me, was the awful contrivance of the entire family setup.
Dakota Fanning? Geesus. Just when I thought child actors couldn't get more annoying...Spielberg, we get it. People being blown up and cities being torn apart is scary for a little girl. Thankyou for trying to teach us, oh sage one. She screams. Pulls frightened faces. The horror. THE HORROR!
I've never felt so patronized by a movie. Tom Cruise blindfolding her when he goes and murders Tim Robbins (p.s. WTF is he doing here?). Aww, look at him. Protecting the innocence of his little girl while he bludgeons a man to death for no reason at all (note: the aliens come in and take her seconds after he kills Tim. Repeat: Tim's death is meaningless). I'm sure she'll remain pure and unaffected by the harshness of the world because you blindfolded her, you dumb sonvabitch.
The son? The one who wants to join the army and help? Well, once again Spielberg I must thank you for teaching us how to live. Truly, this raises an important question - what can we do to help? You should hook up with Michael Moore, you'd have a ball. When Cruise pulls that 'lack-of-facial-expression-meant-to-denote-unbearable-pain' expression after his son was presumably incinerated you know what I felt? Nothing.
The relationships in this film are a joke. I did not care. Why should we? We got to see thousands vaporized by the death rays, now we're supposed to give a rat's ass that Tom's son goes AWOL?
Visual effects are good. I'd hope so. They cost $135mil minus Cruise' fee. Suspense - yes, there is some. Action - yes, there is some. Some of it good. It's a summer blockbuster in all the ways I've come to expect - expensive, flashy, contrived, and emotionless.
I walked away, the film having left a big fat zero on my psyche. By tomorrow I'll have forgotten I ever saw it. Memorable this 'aint.