I expect rubbish from Spielberg, but this was shockingly bad

Rating: 1/10 (19 June 2014)

I think it's only Americans who hold Steven Spielberg in any kind of regard - the rest of the world think he's an ego-tripping con-man who's good at pitch meetings and loves to spend studio money. He's kind of like an L Ron Hubbard of director-wannabes/producer-wannabes.
The last good film he made solo was Duel, when he was a fledgling. Even in Jaws you could see the formula taking shape - quick flurries to indicate mass activity of some kind; characters who suddenly get tearfully, chokingly serious; and his most annoying gimmick, characters who sit around talking themselves up - it's as though they are trying to get you to like them, and telling you what a good story you are in for.
The Indiana Jones films were made with Lucas keeping Steven on a very tight leash - a leash that was re-tightened after the disaster of Temple Of Doom.
Catch Me If You Can? - yes! I *will* grant that one! But I think it had an awful lot more to do with Leonardo and Tom working together well, and the fact it was a (more or less) true story, than any great captaincy in the directorial chair. Let's just say Mr. S didn't stuff it up, thank the gods.
Schindler's list? When you are Jewish and under the watchful eye of pretty much the entire world's Jewish population, with regard to the atrocities of the Nazi holocaust, you are going to tread very, very carefully lest you offend pretty much everyone. Even so, he managed to get some of his irritating trademarks into the film AND schmaltz up the ending.
And now, we come to War Of The Worlds.
With this embarrassing sci-fantasy... 'thing' that he has created, I really think the years of being praised by idiot sycophants has taken it's final toll.
There is nothing in this film to offer, nothing. Not one single thing. Dakota Fanning needs to die in the first few minutes. And I put up with the Tom Cruise character and his infinite ability to survive ANYTHING... until he started to sing.
The movie went under the Fast-Forward hammer from that point on - my gods I was so grateful I hadn't been forced to sit in a cinema for this giant, giant turkey. I really can't say - would I have stayed? There is a good chance not, that I would have left and gone to get on with my life. But, you know... train-wrecks and all that. The fascination with how badly a director/producer can get something wrong.
Heh, Spielberg saying "I have the power to make any movie I want." Really, Steven? There is an issue there - you don't have any talent, whatsoever. You're a hack who stumbled onto a moronic, sell-able formula a couple of decades ago, and all Warner Bros, Sony and the rest care about is money. Art? They release the flintlock on their Brownings at the mention of the 'A' word.
The alien machines underground. Really? You just wanted to get that in a film, didn't you? Come on Steven, fess up. What was it, a dream you had one night? Possibly it could have made a nice, weird film by itself - but it would need a real director and a real producer and ABOVE ALL... a writer. You need a writer, to write a story. That's what writers do, Steven.
The tentacle in the basement. I can hear you in the 3D editing suite now, Steven: "It doesn't go click enough! Add more clicky bits. More clicky bits! More more more! I need more clicky bits ADD MORE CLICKY BITS!!!". You did it with the aliens' eyes at the end too. It's all you know how to do, spend studio money and waste the time and lives of designers with talent, adding more clicky, more fall-off-cliff, more scream, and more more more unsubtle over-emphasis to your rubbish films.
Tom Cruise singing. In a film that was already one of these stupid "off-axis" genre w*nkfests that Hollywood has gone in for - so you didn't get to see anything interesting, really - that had already slowed down to the pace of a smacked-out snail... Tom starts singing. Yup, that's when the room collectively reached for the remote, and we skipped large chunks of the rest of this river of sewerage.
To those who haven't seen the 1953 original, please do - you'll enjoy it. For one thing, you'll be surprised at how good the FX were at the time. For another, you'll enjoy the presence of a story - to the extent that Wells' novel ever had one (its mainly people running screaming until the aliens die, but the military fights back, there is lots of discussion of what to do about these things, and the action doesn't stop to a dead-crawl so some fool can sing).
One day I'd like to see a proper brass-and-glass steam version of the original done, given that the 1953 one is already well updated from the novel.
Wells was decades ahead of his time. Spielberg is just a talentless idiot.