War Between the Family Ferrier - Let the Aliens Win

Rating: 2/10 (25 July 2006)

So, I've never read War of the Worlds and I've never seen the other versions. I have been so annoyed with Tom Cruise's recent broadcasts regarding prescription medication (if he's so ill-informed, must we hear about it?) there was NO WAY I was going to pay money to see this in the theatres. So, thanks to HBO, here I am, ready to watch this movie with no idea what the plot is but knowing there are aliens that I hope chew up whatever character Tom Cruise plays.
Sadly, that didn't happen for me. What I did see was the War between the World of Ferrier and his children, which apparently was what the movie was about, set against a backdrop of some nice special effects implying an alien invasion.
I have to admire Dakota Fanning's willingness to just haul out one of those high-pitched parrot screams at a moment's notice. Apparently her lungs are far more flexible than the average child (parents the world over should be grateful). She was whining and panicking throughout the movie ("I want mommmmmmmmmmmm") as if she knew her career as a real actress might be over. What, out of all the children in the world, Tom Cruise happens to have the fragile, mentally gifted Dakota, but doesn't know it?
And the character of the disaffected teenager, who alternates between "I hate Dad" to "I love War" - there's depth for you. Nice contrast. All the brains in the family were held back until Dakota's character was born? Poor Justin Chatwin didn't have much to work with there.
Meanwhile, Tom Cruise was forced to run around trying to keep his children together (it's hard when there are two. Good thing he didn't have, say, three, or a wife to worry about too), save them, try to keep their screaming to a low roar, and put up with those pesky special effects which were apparently representing aliens.
And deal with Tim Robbins, who I think was supposed to be nuts but I'm still not really clear. Was he a child molester? A survivalist (surely not - don't they live in less populated areas?) or a alien hunter (don't they all live in Nevada)?
The tripods looked great, and the explanation provided by the nice newscaster was very helpful (so handy she popped in to explain what was going on to both Tom Cruise and me, since I hadn't read the book). I didn't really get the connection between the tripods and the individual aliens in the basement (spawn? tripod drivers?), but I'm not as clever or as patient as Tom - I would have chucked Dakota and Justin pretty early on and headed for Nebraska rather than running around looking for the Boston Turnpike like he did.
I'm also not clear how suddenly the entire U.S. military force (mobilized how?) suddenly discovered how to kill the tripods, when they weren't having any luck before. Right after our Tom feeds one a few grenades, collective wisdom hits all mankind? Hmmm.
And the ending? Oh please, give me a break. Can't imagine they all survived, the ungrateful wretches. And, can't imagine the aliens just call it a day at that point after hundreds of YEARS of planning. I would think the aliens might mull over the day's defeat and come back again, if not obsess over it a bit and come back TOMORROW since we only killed one or two. Hope they do and eat the family Ferrier.
So, I thought this would have been a far better movie if only the characters had been a bit more endurable. Maybe Spielberg was trying to make us feel the multiple wars that Cruise was fighting, but I just felt Cruise wasn't prioritizing properly. I found Dakota's character far too annoying to endure (Eat her, quickly so we don't have to hear her scream again), Justin's character unbelievable (fine, join the military. Friendly fire happens), and Cruise (regardless of his personal failings), generally a solid actor, ends up in my opinion on the wrong side.
Eat them all.