Why, Steven, why?!

Rating: 4/10 (20 July 2005)

Okay... aliens invade earth. Fine. It's a tried-and-true method to make money, but... What happened here? Why, Steven, why?! Oh, I'm sure Tom had a tough time acting it all out ("Okay, Tom, in this scene, you run from HERE... to over THERE." "Screaming, or no?" "I'm going to have to say NO, Tom." "Shall I... look over my shoulder?" "...Interesting interpretation... Left only. Remember, you're terrified. Action!") and Spielburg had a tremendously hard time directing it (I can imagine him sitting in his directors chair, tugging on his beard and muttering gleefully, "Yes! There have been many many aliens v. humans movies before, but mine will be the BEST because it will be the PRETTIEST!")... But the whole thing was weak. The only effort that showed was in the graphics. It was just an excuse to show off (incredibly-done) digital loveliness and the alien invader story. You can do that with little or no plot, but their puny human attempts at twists or moral dilemma ruin it all.
Okay, so an advanced alien race plans for a MILLION YEARS (humans haven't even evolved at this point (75,000 years is how long we've been cruisin' the earth), much less made machines, so having an electrical storm that wipes out mechanical equipment must have just been a lucky side-effect) to take over the world... And what's the first thing they do? No, they DON'T decide to take advantage of our natural resources or wipe us all out so they can colonize the planet... They plant vegetation. Which needs blood to feed on, apparently. So this is it? They spend all that time to, what, create a carnivorous bonsai garden? Does it help them in any way? Do they need it to survive, or something? I don't really think so, although the purpose of the plants is quite random and unexplained throughout the movie (a gaping plot hole).
And one more thing stuck with me. They are a highly advanced race, obviously with scientists and engineers who can create mechanics and map out plans of attack, who take care of plants that need a specific formula to grow... They plan this for a million years... And not once in all that time do they sample the earth to see if they can live there?! The first thing you do when you go to a new planet is see if you can walk around unprotected! You take samples of the atmosphere. We do it for new planets (even though we already know we can't breath there, we like to test it out). Or maybe the aliens live in a utopia filled with Mr. Clean, where there IS no bacteria (bacteria being a major ingredient for life, but whatever, anything can happen). ("I'm sorry, Mr. Advanced Life Form, but your medical insurance expired about a million years ago." "Mjjk*click**snarl*" which means "Well, DAMN.") And there was NO way Robby could have escaped the Firey Wall of Death (c). (Personally, I think just before Robby went off to become Human Marshmallow, Ray had asked him to wash the car-because it was covered in human. It's a quick and easy way to get out of a chore-y'know, pretend to die.) The beams that turned humans into dust were impractical for a genocide, like using a twig to kill ants, one by one. The electrical storm could only have killed electrical items that were, at the moment, turned ON, and the older cars (before 1950/60) would have been untouched (due to the motor being run differently). And with the whole 'fight to the death' over the one car, I kept waiting to her the Twilight Zone theme song music, everything turn black and white, and the guy to step out of the shadows, saying something like, "Simply invade the earth and people will form riots... Only in, the Twilight Zone." Crazy times.
From all that, I give it a four for some of the better special effects.