Absurdity in motion!

Rating: 3/10 (25 May 2006)

Godzilla shows up in Tokyo, sends thousands of Japanese people into frantic motion, and then travels across the world to New York without anyone noticing him en route. No wait, that happened in a different, far more realistic and believable relatively recent remake of a film classic.
There isn't one scene or one plot line in this ridiculous film that makes as much sense as Godzilla's casual, unobtrusive cross continental journey. Nothing makes sense, nothing is explained, and nothing makes you care, one way or another. When even the soulful and adorable Dakota Fanning can't get you to root for her family, I'd say that something is seriously wrong. This is NOT the story that H. G. Wells wrote! A writer friend and I were recently talking about the fact that once brilliant actors like Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino have turned into parodies of themselves. Of course, other major talents, like William Shatner and Charlton Heston have defined the term "self parody." Tom Cruise has rarely played anything but a parody of himself. However, an eleven year old shouldn't already be playing parodies of herself. Though Dakota is certainly the only redeeming thing about this movie, even she can't transcend the material.
I could spend the next six pages going over each and every unexplained and unbelievable point in this film, but then I would give the plot away to those who would prefer to spend two hours watching it to doing something more educational and intrigung, like having a belching contest.
The first rule I learned in basic scriptwriting classes was, people believe the impossible but not the improbable. I can't imagine that Spielberg has gotten as far as he has without being made privy to this. The alien attack would be easy to believe, if anything else about the plot was remotely probable.
If you want a more credible, passionate and compelling film about space invasions, find a copy of the Ed Wood masterpiece, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Nothing more needs to be said.