Save it for video

Rating: 4/10 (16 July 2005)

Steven Spielberg owes me $7.50. I was looking forward to this movie. Spielberg? A summer special effects experience? Count me in. Now, I am sorely disappointed. I should have known something was up with the two-page spreads the studio took out all over the country to advertise this lemon--and ALL the Tom & Katie-not movie--publicity we all endured throughout the spring and early summer.
Roger Ebert was right. This movie gets two stars (actually, I'm closer to 1 star). Spielberg has lost the art of STORY-telling in lieu of HUGE, MASSIVE special effects--many of which give the viewer a sense of deja vu. We've seen SO many of them in other movies (think The Abyss, Signs, etc.) Actually, Signs gets it right--for subtle special effects and building suspense. Maybe Stevie ought to take some refresher lessons from M. Night Shyamalan.
I know sci-fi, and this, sir, was no sci-fi. This was a WEAK quasi-sci-fi flick: this was B-movie horror. WAY too much blood, not enough plot. Gee, kids hate dad, dad must try to save unlikable kids, dad and kids run, dad brings kids to ex-wife. All smiles at the end.
Not only the director, but the actors are to blame. Let's be candid folks, Tom Cruise has LIMITED range. Yes, he's an "athletic" actor, but his bug-eyed pout only goes so far. God knows, we want him to be good, but he's not. He's just always surrounded by BLOCKBUSTER special effects. And Dakota Fanning...trust me, within 30 seconds of her ear-piercing hysterical scream, you WANT the aliens to kill this little bitch. Spielberg has relegated HER to bug-eyed screech...and nasty put-downs of her father.
Instead of a story and character development, Spielberg gives us LOUD special effects that, like I said, we've seen most of before. Did I mention it was LOUD? Between Fanning's SCREECHING and the extended basso profundo BURP of the "tripods," this is NOT a pleasant theater experience. Save it for video. You can control the volume, fast-forward, and/or mute Fanning's neuroses-ridden horror. Remember, save it for video. Save yourselves! And...note to Mr. Spielberg. PLEASE go and find your inner story-teller again and show us the REAL you.