Lamesville!

Rating: 2/10 (1 July 2005)

Okay so you escape from your rundown low-rent home with a few meager groceries in a box and you get to a way upscale house in the suburbs with every pot, pan and kitchen device known to man, every piece of furniture and home decor placed as if by the hand of God, and you get all upset at the person who only brought the meager groceries, and then you start making peanut butter on untoasted bread and spreading it with a wooden spoon because you don't have a knife, and since somebody in the scene is allergic to peanut butter, well, that's the end of it, you're all just going to go hungry. But wait: didn't it occur to the brilliant writer, producers and directors who made this movie that the kitchen in which these people are standing would be stocked to the rafters with every kind of bread, spread and condiment known to man? That the drawers would be packed with every spreading utensil ever invented? Didn't they remember that two of the people in the scene not only live in this fancy house but were there a few hours ago and would know where every package of cream cheese, loaf of whole wheat bread and bottle of cranberry juice would be stored? That's just one scene in this inexplicably dull and meandering mess. The rest of the movie? Don't get me started.