Shaken, stirred

Rating: 10/10 (21 June 2008)

Was walking by my local multiplex, saw a friend in line for one of those freebie sneak previews I used to go to all the time. Too many horrible movies and such caused me to abandon this way of seeing films.
Everyone was happy to see me, and when I asked about the movie they were going to see, they said two words: Angeline Jolie.
I nearly bolted. AJ's movies (by and large) have not been happy events for me. But I sort of recalled a few seconds of the preview, something about a train splitting apart on a bridge. I figured, what the heck. So I let them find me a pass and I went in and told myself: If this is bad, just leave.
The opening sequence of the movie was amazing. Bloody, gory, and maybe a little too much like The Matrix. And if I have one qualm with a movie I gave 10 bleeding stars to, it is that The Matrix is stamped all over it.
Mind you, the actors here are far and away better than that former film. The script, based on a Graphic Novel (shudders), is really weak on some key points, but the overall effect of the film is this: You leave shaking, feeling like you've just gotten off the best thrill ride at the best theme park on the planet.
If they did this thing in IMAX 3D, I'd pay good money to see it again.
As it is, I just want to buy the Director's cut DVD -- NOW.
Is AJ's face more impressive than her acting? Sure. But she's one of the most beautiful women ever filmed, so that's like saying she's only a great actress, not a phenomenal one. Do I hate the way Our Hero blows up an enemy installation? Heck yeah. The folks at PETA are going to be all over this movie, and rightfully so.
Is it sort of S and M kinky the way it keeps beating the crap out of its hero? Does it milk every sexy moment possible out of the beauty of virtually every cast member? Well, of course.
But let's face it, we go to see these films to live at these heightened levels. Fall down a chasm and not die? Sure. Bend the path of bullets? Why not. French kiss one of the most beautiful women on the planet in front of your shrew of an Ex? Go for it! And while you're at it, go see this fine film
P.S. The same guy who directed Night Watch and Day Watch directs here, and this guy has a future. Let's just hope he doesn't self-destruct.