a morally confused lifestyle flick with bullets as bling

Rating: Null/10 (7 August 2008)

What did you do today? Just watching a movie, going to high school, or working at McDonalds or a generic version of Office Space? Are you an impossibly pathetic character whose movie-pretty girlfriend accepts your crappy apartment by the train tracks yet hates you enough to constantly cheat with one of your co-workers? Are you buying condoms for the best chum at work you know is doing your girlfriend? Well don't worry because all the skills of an assassin are biologically determined! A few punches in the face and some exercise and you will be James Bond perfect because your absentee father was and we all know DNA is much more important than practice or discipline.
This movie gets all of its charm from the conceit that we know it is all part of the Matrix era bullet time slickness of action and the understanding that it all comes from a comic book anyway so if you have to pick someone up all you have to do is skid sideways right into the person at high speed with the door open and scoop 'em up. No danger of breaking his legs at all. And there can never be too many times two evenly matched assassins demonstrate the fact by their bullets crashing into each other harmlessly in mid flight.
Angelina Jolie has said that sure she is carrying guns in this movie but she condones what happens to the characters so she could get behind the movie. However it resolves, though, most of the movie is a loser's fantasy of having an exciting life. That might very well suit the video game audience under 25 years old. But if you can't get past the improbable efficiency of the team and the improbable stupidity of the protagonist from scene to scene, the big twist that pats itself on the head for its brilliance will seem to belong in another movie. Had the action not been so cartoonish, maybe we could believe what it purports to say. It still exists in a vacuum-sealed circle of geek-hood one expects from Agent Cody Banks. The only difference is that he is twenty-something.