Another Hypersexual Film By Woody Allen

Rating: 6/10 (20 May 2009)

It's official: Javier Bardem (NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN) is the luckiest man/actor on the planet! I mean, this guy gets to make out with three of the most gorgeous women acting today. Forget that one of them is his current girlfriend (Penelope Cruz). He also got down with hottie Rebecca Hall (THE PRESTIGE) and ultimate hottie Scarlett Johansson (MATCH POINT). Regardless of how I felt about the rest of the film, there was plenty of eye-candy for guys. And those ladies who think Javier isn't too shabby himself, well, there's that, too.
But let me explain why I'm talking about how good-looking these folks are on-screen and why I started my review in such an unabashed way. Director Woody Allen is well-known for his love of beautiful people. Everything from SLEEPER to MATCH POINT has been sexually charged, to say the least. But his take on relationships is exceptionally skewed toward the hyper-sexual, and that's even more true here. Some might compare this to his private life, but I'll leave that alone ...for now.
This time we have two women, Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) on vacation in Barcelona, Spain. The two are good friends and Vicky (Hall) is taking a break in preparation for marriage to Doug (Chris Messina), whom she leaves back in the States. Cristina isn't even close to being ready for marriage, and rips through relationships like a laundry woman through sheets. Then the two ladies meet Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem) who approaches them with a unique proposal: fly away with him to his house in the north and have sex with him; both of them. At the same time, perhaps. This doesn't surprise Vicky, who immediately labels him a troll with artistic aspirations. But Cristina is intrigued by his forwardness, and the two ladies go with him to his beautiful Spanish home. But Cristina gets sick after eating some bad food, which leaves Vicky and Juan Antonio together, and opposite sparks fly. Then, after Cristina gets better, Juan Antonio takes her into his bed, too. But then a phone call in the middle of the night leads to Juan Antonio's ex-wife, Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz), coming to stay with them after a suicide attempt. Cristina and Juan become closer. His ex-wife and Cristina become closer. Juan Antonio and his ex-wife reignite their passions ...with Cristina getting involved with both of them, if you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, Vicky is struggling to deal with her feelings on the night when she weakened and had sex with Juan Antonio. She begins questioning whether she's ready for marriage. But then Dough, her fiancé, comes to Spain with the option to get married there before returning to the States and "doing it up right." There are quite a few twists and turns in the multiple relationships that wind and unwind themselves. And that is what made most of the story interesting (that and the beautiful people surrounded by the beauty of Barcelona). So you can see why I started my review the way I did. It's mainly about how sexually charged relationships can change (or maybe not change) who we are. Which brings me to my next point: Penelope Cruz's Oscar win for Best Supporting Actress. I'm not gonna take anything away from her. She did a fine job. But she wasn't on-screen very much. Personally, I think Rebecca Hall got gypped during the Oscar's. Her battles for her emotional stability were what kept me watching, not Penelope Cruz. Hall's character was so conflicted that I could empathize with her. While Cruz's character only made me laugh because she seemed almost like a caricature.
Still, it's an interesting film to watch. But it's really just another Woody Allen sex-take on relationships.