Don't tell me what I already know

Rating: 6/10 (7 September 2008)

Remember those times when you would go see summer's biggest blockbuster only to be interrupted by someone's incessant commentary. It was probably when you viewed Lord of the Rings (any of them) or maybe Titanic. Rarely, though, does a movie itself provide this experience for you. Woody Allen is always known for his "talkie" movies but Vicky Cristina Barcelona is ridiculous. The film's horrible voice-over narration disrupts the narrative and inserts unnecessary dialog in key points.
The film follows two best friends as they spend a summer in Spain. Cristina is a professional, post-feminist woman who is engaged to be married to a cookie-cutter businessman. The other is her enigmatic friend, Cristina who doesn't have anything better to do. They arrive in Barcelona and Cristina begins studying for her Master's in Catalan Identity (I haven't found an institution which offers this degree..). The story begins formally when they meet an artist at a late-night restaurant. This guy is every man's idolized hero. He asks both of them to accompany him to a remote village for sightseeing and lovemaking. Vicky agrees enthusiastically but Cristina is hesitant, given her "traditional" perception of romance. It doesn't matter, though, since both women travel with him (but Cristina only agrees to go to guard her friend).
Once they arrive, our hero Juan Antonio proceeds to intoxicate the women and invites them to his room. Cristina disagrees under feminist objections to his pitiful attempt. So only Vicky agrees, but right before they begin, she becomes ill. This is rather annoying, as Allen proceeds to tell us exactly how she feels at different points in her illness. While Vicky recovers, Juan Antonio and Cristina tour the town. She begins to warm up to his artistic-inspired confidence and aloofness. This sequence, as well as Vicky's recover culminates with Cristina and Juan Antonio's consensual sex (It is ironic since Vicky exhibits greater desire for Juan than her friend does). Cristina is traumatized by this and develops feelings for Juan Antonio. Vicky does too, and becomes his girlfriend once they return to Barcelona.
The movie picks up the pace and Cristina's disposable husband-to-be arrives. He is the opposite of Juan Antonio in nearly every way, and no one likes him (including Cristina). He always wears professional clothing, is obsessed with owning a large home, and condemns Vicky's (recent) frivolous relationship. Vicky begins to suspect her relationship as well once Juan's estranged wife, María Elena, arrives. Vicky becomes jealous as she sees her relationship crumble but eventually comes to enjoy living with María Elena and her former husband. There's even a PG-13 lesbian scene (which is how I convinced some of my friends to see the movie).
As the film ends, Cristina decides that she doesn't want to live in a love triangle and heads to France for a vacation-within-a-vacation. This opening allows Cristina one last chance to see Antonio before returning home, and her hand is shot by jealous María Elena. None on the girls wins Juan Antonio, and Vicky and Cristina return home having changed little from their experience. Vicky is still unsure of what she wants to do and Cristina is engaged to Average Joe. At least they got to see Barcelona, right? As you've read in my purposely long and poorly written plot synopsis, I wasn't pleased with this film. Allen's story isn't bad, and is mostly well-acted but is terribly narrated. This is a film which relies on its actors to portray characters as the audience intends them, which limits character growth. Oh well, Penélope Cruz does much with her limited screen time in creating Juan's suicidal wife. She looks savage handling the gun yet intimate in her romances. Javier Barden both looks and acts like the gentle artist he portrays, but the leading actors weren't as impressive. Scarlet Johansson acts like a stereotypical coffee-shop grad student in her fickleness and inability to determine the course of her life. And then we come to Rebecca Hall as Vicky. Her character is wooden and underdeveloped. She is unhappy in her attraction to Juan Antonio yet bares this discontent and learns nothing from it. Oh, and I find it amusing that she is a Catalan Identity student who can speak neither Catalan nor Spanish.
My numerous, intense descriptions mimic the narration by Christopher Welch which removes any ability for personal interpretation. He lacks the voice to narrate a movie this extensively, and at many times, sounds as if he is presenting a report for a first-year English course. Narration (in dramas) is supposed to provide limited insight in characters' thoughts so that the audience can interpret directors' visions. Audiences may draw personal conclusions as well from narration depending on its ambiguity. Vicky Cristina Barcelona precludes the audience from this practice and is incapable of creating a memorable experience because of it.
Nevertheless, Allen is able to overcome that critical handicap with a wonderful display of the complexity of human sexuality. I think the Spanish setting (and public funding) is what allowed him to do this. Spanish-language media frequently addresses sexual relationships which we in North America consider controversial. Incest is a theme I've seen in several Spanish-language novels (particularly in Isabel Allende's La Casa de los Espirtius) and films (Pedro Almódovar's Volver). Multiple partners and exiting difficult marriages are also prevalent themes (especially in Lorca's plays). Allen deserves much credit for acknowledging cultural identity in his film.
The movie is also a critique of American culture. Welch tells us that Vicky enjoys living with Juan Antonio because of his abstinence from consumerism. Allen's message is augmented by Cristina's husband's lack of desire to engage in anything other than consumerism. The effect works nicely. Again, this isn't my interpretation but Allen's obvious message which Welch delivers. Final Consensus: ** and 1/2 out of ****