How to Ruin a Good Movie with Voice-over Narration

Rating: 4/10 (19 September 2008)

Although I enjoyed "VCB" more than any of Woody's movies since, say, "Bullets Over Broadway," I was stunned at the amount and sterility of the voice-over narration. I'm of the (widely-held) opinion that narration should be used on the rarest of occasions and sparingly when it is used. Not only is there way too much of here, for some reason Woody chose an actor with no character or familiarity at all. It was as if Woody instructed the theater managers to have a descriptive audio feature installed so the entire audience could hear...as if he'd made the movie for the blind! Voiceovers, if they're required, should neither explain what the action on screen is, nor what is going on inside the characters' heads. "VCB" fails on both counts. And it's a beautiful movie that's ruined by it! Here are three recent examples of well-done VO, IMHO: The Coens' "The Man Who Wasn't There" (also starring Johannson, as it happens); Eastwood's "Million Dollar Baby," which is responsible for the terrific payoff at the end; and Scorcese's "The Age of Innocence." (Billy Wilder's "Double Indemnity" is the perfect all-time example of VO.) The first two are VO's of characters within the film, while the third is by Joanne Woodward, whose work adds wonderful flavor and texture to the already sumptuous images without overwhelming them, and it helps keep the viewer within the time and period, bringing the voice of Edith Wharton herself voice to life. I'm knocking 3 points here because of "VCB"'s poor use and uselessness.
I suppose what fuels my displeasure more than a little bit is that I realize that Woody Allen has completely "goyed" himself; there's none of his wonderful Jewish witticisms and insights - and JOKES! - of his classic '70's/early '80's period. He's had WASP envy of rich Manhattanites for decades, from "Interiors" through "Hannah and Her Sisters" and "Everyone Says I Love You," finally reaching full assimilation with "Match Point." "VCB," even though it takes place in an exotic locale, proves that Woody is a full fledged WASP; you can't even tell he's on the outside looking in anymore! When I got home I had to watch "Manhattan," which, after 30 years, is just as beautiful and engaging as it was when first released, and is one of the great romantic comedies of all time, even more so than "Annie Hall" (wait...maybe that's where the symptoms began, back in Chippewa Falls!]. Woody's VO at the beginning of "Manhattan" is describing the main character of the book he's trying to write: "He romanticized New York all out of proportion..." Woody Allen has succeeded in doing so with "Barcelona." The running joke in "Stardust Memories" was the complaint of Sandy Bates' (Woody) fans that he should make more movies like his "earlier, funny ones." My complaint: how 'bout making some more like his earlier, GOOD ones.