Stiff, unappealing, unimaginative... where did old Woody go?

Rating: 2/10 (21 December 2008)

Some have commented about the use of a narrator. Yes, that was lazy and intrusive, but not nearly the worst part of this boring mess of a film. And I wouldn't care if Woody Allen wasn't the director and writer - at this point I just watch films for what they are, not who was involved in making them. I found myself trying to stay awake while watching it, but when it had my full attention, I found myself amazed at the flimsiness being presented. Boring, self-indulgent people walking around a beautiful city, not knowing what they really wanted out of life, not really interested in anyone or anything else, except for what it meant to themselves.
And yes, Johansson's performance was quite bad, as others have mentioned, but it actually was consistent with the tone of the film, if that's in any way a "positive." There was a turning point, however, which I thought might save the film, at least to some degree, and that occurred when the Johansson character decided she no longer wanted to be in the menage a trois situation. When the viewer isn't given any reason for this decision, I had to laugh, because that was the final confirmation of my thoughts up to that point. Like Johansson, the paintings, which were just AbEx rip-offs, reflected the lack of overall depth the viewer is compelled to endure.
These are just unappealing, narcissistic people I would not want to know. Their only goals in life concern self satisfaction, and the viewer isn't even given a reason why this is the case. Is it that Woody himself is now like this and assumes everyone else in the world is? That's really the only somewhat interesting thing that I took from this film. Unlike in some of his early films, there is no sardonic wit here, or anything else that would allow us to find something special about this. If someone else had given us this film, especially if it was a young person, I'd think that this person had a lot of "growing up" to do. The people in this film are the kind of bit-part characters that the main characters in Woody's best films would make fun of !