Ambitious, Flawed Experiment

Rating: Null/10 (8 November 1998)

I've liked everything Todd Haynes has done and I'm a huge fan of Bowie and glam in general, so I'd been looking forward to "Velvet Goldmine" for quite some time. I started to worry when I saw the trailer, which made it look like "Eddie and the Velvet Cruisers."
I found it expertly put together, well acted, beautifully filmed, yet somehow passionless and boring. I was never convinced that the Brian Slade portrayed had the charisma or magnetism to inspire such adoration, so I never really cared about what was happening. I'm amazed that a film so full of apparent color and excitement could be so devoid of energy and humor.
I agree with the folks saying they should have left the old songs alone. It's so disappointing to hear the beginning of a note-perfect re-creation of "Baby's on Fire," only to have Brian Eno's voice replaced by Rhys-Meyers'. The guy's hardly tone deaf, but he obviously doesn't make his money singing. Perhaps they should have written all original tunes.
For the record, the two lead characters are obviously inspired by Bowie and Iggy Pop (though I saw Curt Wild as 75% Iggy/25% Lou Reed). I don't see how anyone could see otherwise.
Lastly, does Ewan McGregor have it written into his contracts that his ****** have at least a few seconds of screen time before he'll agree to do a project? Does this mean we'll be seeing Obi-Wan Kenobi's REAL Jedi weapon next year?
6/10