Diamond Dogs

Rating: 5/10 (10 November 1998)

One of the problems of doing a semi-fictionalized narrative is that the resulting piece will invariably be compared to its sources. The way to combat this is by creating something that is fresh, dynamic and full of ideas, great story and characters: something that overwhelms the audience and makes them forget what its derivations are. This, I regret to say, is what "Velvet Goldmine" failed to do. I couldn't but be aware, as I sat through the film, of all the references passing across the screen, whether they be to people, places, songs or events. This was particularly evident during the performance sequences. I'd watch Ewan McGregor doing his Iggy thing and be thinking, "My that's a good cover of 'TV Eye.' That Mr. Pop was one hell of a performer. I kind of wish I was watching him now." The same was doubly true of the fella playing Bowie. I kept thinking, naggingly, throughout the whole movie, that these guys were but pale imitations of the real thing. It was very distracting. Now, several years ago I saw "I Shot Andy Warhol", a film I found thoroughly engaging. To be certain, there were inaccuracies, characters who were not too faithfully portrayed (Candy Darling comes to mind). However, I wasn't aware of it while I was watching the movie. I was too absorbed in the drama. Mary Harron might have taken liberties, but she put on a good show, something Todd Haynes failed to do. The wan figure of Brian Slade, petulant and insipid, offered little from beginning to end. I could just as easily have been watching a perfume ad. Curt Wild wasn't much better. If these fellas were supposed to be revolutionaries, they sure didn't revolve much. The young reporter at the center of the film was such a hapless dolt that I could hardly be bothered to share his passion. Haynes certainly has an eye for style. The film was a lavish and beautiful thing to behold, sort of a moving Pierre & Gilles composition. But pageantry isn't its own reward. It is possible that this might have been fully fitting with his intention. He might have been principally interested in creating some sort of didactic exegesis. But his ideas weren't strong enough, it was too weak an intellectual broth to hold much critical weight. And if you haven't got enough brains to pitch a good argument you might as well charm the old fashioned way, with character, dialogue, story and plot. And frankly, this picture was a bore.