Heavy drugs needed for enjoyment or recovery from this film

Rating: 3/10 (23 January 2002)

When I go to a party, there are two types of annoying guests. The intellectual eggheads who drone on endlessly, and the babbling motormouth airheads who must keep their lips flapping or they will apparently die of asphyxiation. "Vanilla Sky" is like the combination of those two guests. It drones on and on endlessly, and if you actually care to figure out what's going on, it will never let you get a thought in edgewise. Tom Cruise smirks a lot for forty minutes, then gets all confused, just like the audience. Cameron Diaz is hot and she can stalk me any day, but unfortunatly she's gone before we have a chance to know more about her. I don't know what the hell Penolope Cruz was trying to say, but they should have provided subtitles. The movie then turns into a pretentious hodgepodge of philosophy and virtual reality that by this point had me shaking my head. Of course, just like every other "deep" movie ever released since "The Sixth Sense", it has to have some quirky explanation as to why things were the way they were. Trust me, you'll be so underwhelmed by the secret suprise ending of "Vanilla Sky", you won't remember to reveal it anyone. Just like at most parties, "Vanilla Sky" has a lot of pretty people to look at, all with nothing to say.