Worst Movie of the Year

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2002)

This was the worst movie I saw last year, and I saw some doozies (Corky Romano, Freddy Got Fingered...) That acting, directing, editing, and soundtrack to this film are all horrible. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let's start with the plot. Normally, I enjoy somewhat confusing movies, whether they explain themselves in the end (Memento) or leave you wondering "Huh?" (Mulholland Falls). But THIS movie just made me angry.
First of all, Tom Cruise's character was an arrogant, cocky, rich kid that the audience immediately disliked. He used women, he never really worked all that hard, and everything in life had come easy for him. For the first 15 minutes, Tom Cruise simply walks around and flashes his annoying smile.

Then Penelope Cruz comes into the picture, and suddenly we're thrown into a confusing mess of a story. Is Cameron Diaz really dead? Is Penelope Cruz actually Cameron Diaz? Did Tom Cruise kill somebody? Did the Phantom of the Opera loan his mask to Tom Cruise? Did Kurt Russell suddenly forget his daughter's names? (If you think these questions are confusing, they're ACTUAL questions posed by the plotline....so if you think they sound dumb then you must agree to stay away from this film!) The plot literally folds in on itself numerous times, but when it finally offers an answer to all the confusion, you just want to throw your popcorn at the screen and yell obscenities at the writers. The "explanation"--if you can call it that--is completely absurd.
Then we have the acting. I've never been so annoyed with Tom Cruise before in my life. He needs to stop playing over confident characters who are suddenly challenged a la Jerry McGuire, Maverick, etc.... After the accident that disfigures his face, Tom's acting takes a nosedive into bizarroland. Wearing a latex mask, he stalks around nightclubs, muttering about regaining his life, blah blah blah.... He must have had his eyes wide shut when he received this script. Then we have Penelope Cruz.... If she said "Open your Eyes!" one more time, I would have left the theatre. Her character was a cardboard figure that you couldn't possibly understand, and it never seemed clear why Cruise was so madly in love with her character. She seemed strange and stale to me. And Cameron "do you believe in God" Diaz....maybe it was just the writing, but her character was so filled with "crazy girlfriend" stereotypes--right down to the stalking scene at the party--that I cringed every time I saw her.
I could go on and on about the inappropriate soundtrack--why Radiohead and REM appear in a movie like this is beyond me--and they horrible editing (so quick and incomprehensible...Look! There's Cameron Diaz's face saying Boo! There's Penelope Cruz in a wedding dress on the bed! Did you miss that? Oh who cares!!!). Bottom line--if this review made no sense to you, then you have a small perception of what the film's like. Stay away from this movie!!!