Disappointing

Rating: 7/10 (23 March 2014)

Every now and again I stumble across a film on TV and think, "I'll give it a go." Such was the case with Vanilla Sky, Cameron Crowe's 2001 remake of "Abre Los Ojos." Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a money-bags son of a publishing magnet who seems to have inherited it all: Cash, Cameron Diaz as a f**k-buddy, board-room power, a vintage Ferrari, Pete Townsend's smashed guitar in his living room. you know the usual stuff.
So far – so good – so what? If you hadn't worked it out already David iswell bit of a c**k - especially when it comes to the ladies. However, exotic Latino dancer Penelope Cruz hoves into view David goes all gooey, puts his c**k away for a minute and feels a "connection." After a night of romantic chat and sofa spooning David skips off into the dawn with a song in his heart and a spring in his step. Cue bad stuff! Extremely bad stuff! David is suddenly accused of a murder, disfigured in a car-accident and plagued by memory-loss, vivid nightmares and an encroaching sense of paranoia. All of this he unloads on the manly shoulders of friendly neighbourhood police psychologist Kurt Russell.
All well and good but we have a problem. I don't care about David. At. All. Tom cruise gives good slime-ball (see Magnolia previously) but in this case it felt like the film's undoing. Are we supposed to have some kind of empathy with this arrogant, breaded, misogynistic t**t? Nope, sorry. Don't care. Emotional investment down the pan. This isn't Cruise's fault, his character is so thinly drawn that the only engagement with him is disengagement. I just didn't care/ To be honest, I just wanted to be rid of his nightmares, flashbacks, murder-charge and incessant whining so I can spend time with supporting cast who seemed a damn sight more interesting.
Ultimately, there's some interesting ideas trying to get out. Is real love transient? The consequence of actions? The power of memory within dreams? But, it all gets lost under a wave of indifference summed up by my mighty, "Meh" at the big reveal. You could say it's a precursor to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or Inception in scope but that would be bum-bitingly generous. It has neither the ambition, wit or creativity of either. Vanilla indeed