Reviewing the reviewers

Rating: Null/10 (15 December 2001)

To quote Mel Brooks: "Critics are like eunuchs at an orgy. They just don't get it."
It really p***es me off when people trash an ambitious, thought-provoking movie like Vanilla Sky. They do it because it makes them feel important. Anyone can trash Tomcats, right? But if you can bash Cameron Crowe, you must be REALLY smart.
People put out this bad buzz, and then the ambitious movies don't make as much money, and then we end up with theaters full of Scary Movie III and Dude Where's My Car. Oh joy.
To the people who call this movie "unfocused": Look, you cretins. This is an ambitious film. It blurs the traditional lines between fantasy and reality, it leaves you hanging in limbo for much longer than you're used to. Most movies tell you exactly what to think. Vanilla Sky leaves you guessing. Calling this movie "unfocused" is another way of saying "I need to be spoon fed the plot! I'm a cinematic toddler!" Go watch Legally Blonde and talk about how cute Reese is in her argyle sweater and leave this movie alone.
To those who said Vanilla Sky is full of bad acting: Excuse me? I'm sorry, but it is an absolute travesty that Cuba Gooding, Jr., Anna Paquin, Jack Palance and Marisa Tomei have acting Oscars, and Tom Cruise doesn't. He's a great talent, no question. He takes chances. He plays strange, even unlikeable roles, and he's not afraid. We need to give him his Oscar, because there's a bit of desperation creeping in to his recent work--as if he's doing acting backflips to get respect. Penelope Cruz is gorgeous and likeable. Cameron Diaz could get by on just being HOT. But she doesn't. She takes roles in Being John Malkovich, and Vanilla Sky, and she even elevated her character in Best Friend's Wedding. Brava, Cammie.
To those who say the movie is too long: I'm sorry, but when Pearl Harbor comes in at 3 hours, I think I can forgive Vanilla Sky for being 135 minutes (not 150, as a million reviewers have incorrectly stated). As if all of you geniuses who have time to write reviews on IMDB can't spare an extra 15 minutes.
To those who say "it's not as good as Almost Famous": Whatever. In two years you'll be trashing Crowe's next movie and talking about how brilliant Vanilla Sky was.
I'm not saying people have to love everything. It's fine to have high standards. But don't trash a movie that aims high and doesn't quite reach the stars, or you'll end up with a bunch of middle-of-the-road pap.
Thank God there are a few American directors left that still have enough confidence to take chances and make us think: Wes Anderson, Ang Lee, and Cameron Crowe. And Tarantino, if he ever directs again.
Vanilla Sky: 8.0/10.0 Critics: 0.0/10.0