The stupidest movie i have seen since 'Underworld'

Rating: 3/10 (8 May 2004)

After watching this movie, you'll ask yourself, 'did they even read the script?' 'Was he(Stephen Sommers) even awake when he wrote the script?' SPOILER WARNING
The movie starts out in b & w. Personally, I don't think it really needs it, but ok, sure. It's basically telling Dr. Frankenstein death story. Anything that happens in the first ten minutes of a movie, if told, i don't consider to be a significant enough spoiler to ruin the movie for somebody.The windmill that it happens in was made to burn. The whole interior is decorated with stuff that will help it burn. They are also in places, that would be pretty dangerous. Well anyway, that's the end of that.

Now, onto color. It starts out with, this was my first guess, one of Jack the Ripper's victims. Van Helsing investigates, and looks back at some big, huge, building. Ok, now I'm thinking, The Hunchback? Scene cuts to him up there, this entire scene contributes nothing, absolutely nothing, that I could tell, to the story. Once up there, you find out it's Mr. Hyde. Now, for the record, just about anything and everything in this movie is ripped from another one. Now, IMO, Mr. Hyde is just the opposite of the Hulk. He looks like he's there, but he doesn't look real. For Hulk, switch 'real' and 'there'. The scene that ensues is straight from any 007 movie. The people in this movie are also extremely slow, the monk/Q character has a device that is basically an artificial sun, he says he knows what it does, but not what it's for. It takes him till just before they really need it to figure out what it is for. For me, it took me negative two seconds to think, 'that can be used to kill Dracula, I don't see what the problem is.'
I'm going to skip a lot of the movie till right before Anna and Van Helsing meet Frankenstein's monster. Now, i had totally forgotten he was supposed to be in the movie and with the dialog before the meeting I thought that there was about 10-20 min left in the movie. About 20 min later, with no signs of ending anytime soon, i thought, 'What the sh!t, this crap isn't done yet? F*ckin A.' It isn't even close to ending. You have about another hour left. Once you have though 'Ok, now the only reason i'm staying in this movie is to see it get better,' walk out. It'll get exciting, somewhat, and more stupid, but not better.
Now for the major spoiler: For the plot twist, Anna dies, yeah. Then, if you think back and replay some of the things she's done in your mind, you realize that she could've took it. End of major Spoiler.
Now for the special effects. Awesome. Dracula looks a little clay-ish, in his vampire form. But again, like Mr. Hyde, he looks like he's there. They work best in the dark where they don't have to put in much detail. And the transformations look pretty good, except for Anna's brothers when he's on the wall, i was asking how in hell he could stay up there. Kate Beckinsale looks great in the movie by the way. But it's not enough to save it by the longest shot anybody could ever take.
Another thing, this movie is suppossed to be funny as comic releif. I counted five times i laughed. 2 of them i can remember. When Helsing asks Igor why he shouldn't kill him and when Anna says she'll cut off something. You'll get it. Oh, and His children look like Gremlins
3/10 (Special Effects-2; Kate-1)