'That was pretty good, but we usually hold the old round six hundred '

Rating: 3/10 (10 May 2004)

What some may consider spoilers, others call considerations  lie  ahead. I like a movie that gets me thinking about the big questions. Such as: What separates this movie from the Mummy Movie? Or the Muppet movie for that matter? FX done Vs. CGI Overdone? Is Chemistry (of the Leads in love) important? Is it all in the hat? Do Sand people (as Servants to the dark god) exist where ever they are dropped in as shorthand? Is there a `New' Prevalence for endings that don't end?

I found it very telling that they ran an ad for a Mummy movie roller-coaster-carnival ride Herr Director is Building @ Universal studios directly before the movie. Marketing, product tie-in, merchandising and the endless trappings of big business (can somebody out there in the freeway of what we call awareness give me an example of something that has gotten better because it got bigger? Big Government? Big Religion? Big Building? Big Hospital? Big Ego? Maybe I just need a nap.) add a painful dimension to it all.
Things I liked: Flock of Seagulls Friar. (Sure I'm Catholic  but I'm not a `Good Catholic.') Frankenstein with the zapping blue flowing through his brain. (I dream of Jeanie with the light bluehair.) Vlad being a tad coy. (3 Brides, Thousands of Eggs. One can only visualize Dick and Andy dragging out the old dead horse of: `It's all for the kids.') The back wall pops up in the confessional and there is the Muslims and the Hassassins and the Slave labor building weapons of mass destruction. (Just like everybody told us.)

Things I had difficulty with: The way the gypsies princess dies. The way the Undead Brides die. The way Vlad dies. The way the Prince of the gypsies dies. The way the Hokey_ss, born dead, green cherubim of blood die. Teeth. Transitions for the shape changers. It seemed really really long. That's a bad sign.