Hammer Never Did It Like This

Rating: 8/10 (2 November 2008)

Not to be compared with the under-funded, frequently pretentious, but still enjoyable Peter Cushing sorties, 'Van Helsing' is a rip-snorting out-and-out swashbuckling, tribute to the whole Hammer horror genre.
The stuffy vampire-fighter of yore has been upstaged by an Indiana Jones character. Bookish, educated, but fundamentally a man of action.
And what action! The movie begins with him taking-down an extremely ogreish Quasimodo type (Mr Hyde) in a bell-tower. Later he is transferred to field-duty in vampire country, where he teams-up with a demented power-girl who has her own vengeful agenda against the powers of darkness.
Dracula has got a plan so cunning it would boil Baldrick's brain. And for this he requires a werewolf and Frankenstien's monster. So; with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde we more or less have the lot.
Special-effects and CGI are absolutely mesmerising. The latter are, without any doubt, the best that I have seen, and go largely unsung in the movie as a whole. Likewise there are some wonderful set-pieces that give a whole new definition to 'gothic'. Van Helsing also has some wacky, James Bond-like gadgets such as a machine crossbow that shoots silver bolts.
Camera-work is excellent. Some of what appear to be micro-camera panning sequences merge with the astonishing CGI effects more seamlessly than those of the 'Rings' trilogy. It is, as they say, a roller-coaster ride.
Hugh Jackman is not a particularly commanding screen presence, but here he fills his boots at least adequately. Kate Beckinsale is likewise rather a lukewarm heroine tricked-up like an extra from the 'Rocky Horror Show'. They both have the rather blandly handsome looks of cyberspace avatars, as if they themselves were computer generated. Together they make the most of an exceedingly cheesy script.
Shuker Hensley gives the Frankenstien's monster genuine humanity (no irony intended), Mr Hyde lets Robbie Coltrane join the fun, whilst all are upstaged by Richard Roxburgh as the campily expansive Dracula.
This isn't serious stuff. It's not a corny morality tale. It's a joyously tongue-in-cheek romp through the whole horror genre that put wine and cheese on the tables at Hammer studios over so many years. But it's done with flair, style and just the right touches of shock and sentiment. If you can stay with the ride; for 2 hours it will absolutely enthral you.