Truly, truly bad

Rating: 3/10 (8 November 2004)

spoilers. VAN HELSING is one of the those movies you really wish that were never made. Hugh Jackman, who's amazing as Wolverine, tries acting this rough and evil-hunting Van Helsing, not succeeding at all! VAN HELSING is a bad movie, nothing more to say!
Abraham Van Helsing hunts down all evil creatures around Europe in the late 1880ties. His next mission after killing Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde in a weird way in Paris, is to stop Count Dracula from killing several generations of family in Transylvania. Everything Dracula wants is birth to his hideous children; but this he only can get threw the power of a former monster, Frankenstein's fearsome man/creature.
The movie is never good in any way. It only glimpses with fine costumes, settings and ideas. But; this three things really doesn't save a movie who's acting is to be embarrassed, with sucky soundtrack that reminds you of some early 1980ties TV Show (or a Boyband tune), directing that doesn't stand out more than a bad High School short film...I mean; everything is so gruesome bad!
VAN HELSING won't let you close your eyes for one second because it's too rushed up and too hurried to get to the next spectacle of a action scene! It's very disturbing, very irritating and very childish in many ways. Hugh Jackman's character Van Helsing, is in bottom a truly fine role, but with all this Hollywood crap and teenage-focused entertainment this movie just drops from a skyscraper and gets smashed like a tomato. Robert Roxburgh's performance as Dracula made me want to look away practically. All the pathetic evil chit-chat goes on and on; and the movie lasts for 2 hours! I mean; what kind of weirdo thinks this kind of movie is entertaining for 120 minutes! It's 115 too long! VAN HELSING is dumb, nothing more. STARS: 1/5