Oh my God! 110% pure glitzy spilth and detritus

Rating: 1/10 (10 May 2004)

Not since shattering my ankle and pulling my femur out of its hip socket, in a spectacular car wreck, have I experienced such agonizing torture.
The plot and story of Van Helsing is of such an outrageous, far-fetched and preposterous nature that it leaves one staggeringly baffled to where nothing in the movie has any chance of making a lick of sense or have a flicker of appeal.
Hugh why? Oh why did you do it? Is it really all about the money? If it is-so early on in your career-about the money then shame on you.

Kate you're desperate since Pearl Harbor to establish your self. I understand, but really other then looking smashing in that leather corset and awesome hip boots, you didn't do your self any favors.
There's such a massive overwhelming use of sub quality CGI that entire sections of the film are nothing but laughable at best.
There's only the thinnest, wispiest, and flimsiest attempt to explain the gathering together of some legendary monsters. It is just awful, I'm sorry but it is.
I'm ashamed of myself for sitting through this loud piece of monumental balderdash.