Big and dumb- and I loved it.

Rating: 8/10 (12 May 2004)

I'd read quite a few reviews on different sites where people were complaining about the lack of substance and how the movie didn't take itself seriously and so on and so on. And, well. I really don't know what in the world those people were expecting from a movie with vampires, werewolves, *and* Frankenstein's monster directed by the guy who made The Mummy. Van Helsing was everything I expected it to be: big stupid monster fun. For crying out loud, it had villagers with pitchforks and torches in the beginning! How can anyone expect a film that starts off that way to be high art?
Speaking of the beginning, I was absolutely delighted with it. Some people might call it a rip-off but I thought it was a brilliant homage to Frankenstein (it's been a while since I've seen it, but I'm pretty sure up until Dracula pops up, it was shot-for-shot the same).
Also, Dracula! Quite a few people have expressed the opinion that Richard Roxburgh wasn't portraying him seriously enough, but, again, why would he? As soon as he began to speak, I was all, 'ha! Bela Lugosi!' and, oh, I loved the way he camped the entire thing up. Along the same lines, I also loved his brides. The scene of them all overemoting and wailing after the vamplings all exploded? So cheesy! It was fantastic.
Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale were okay, although I spent most of the movie wondering when Kate was going to say, 'Ve must get moose and squirrel!'
The best part of the movie, though, and the main reason I wanted to see it, was David Wenham. Absolutely darling and funny! And it was kind of weird because I've only ever seen him as Faramir, aka The Saddest Man in All of Gondor, but I loved it. Maybe I'm just easily amused, but I had a giggle-fit almost every time he appeared on-screen. I don't understand why Carl had to be so short, though. Well, okay, maybe I do a little, to make Van Helsing all the more larger-than-life and all that crap, but, still. My back hurt watching him slump around. awww, poor Daisy.
I do have to agree with everyone who said the CGI sucked. The brides weren't too bad but, god. Jekyll? bleh. Didn't like that at all. And the werewolves all looked...well. Fake. Come on, folks. If you're going to CG, at least make an effort.
So, yeah. overall, I loved it. I went in expecting non-stop action and lots of pretty, and that's pretty much what I got, plus some laughs (some maybe unintentional, like 'The roof, the roof, the roof is on fi-yah').
And I am all about a sequel. More Daisy! YAY!!!