Horrible mockery to classic literature

Rating: 1/10 (19 November 2005)

I was very pessimistic about van Helsing from the moment I heard about it, and I stayed away from it until it was shown at a Halloween party that I went to. I wish I had never seen it. It was worse than i could have imagined. I will start out with the things that are not quite what I'm mad about but still are just sad. The acting.....sucks. The plot.....sucks. Everything else...........really sucks. Although the scene that I hated the most was when they were at the ball and all of the guests were vampires....and o yeah that monk who was also miraculously an inventor....just happened to have his invention that he didn't know what it was until van Helsing was running away...then he found out it was freaking gigantic bomb! Completely retarded.
Now, why I really hate the movie. It is the most heinous assault on classic literature that I have ever witnessed. It took three of the best books ever written, Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Mysterious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, it took these books and completely desecrated them.
We'll start with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Jekyll in Mr. Hyde form is a hunched deformed old man who is completely insane, he attacks people with his cane and fists and runs people over etc., In the movie Mr. Hyde in the movie is a gigantic pink muscle that swings around the rafters of some old church steeple.......completely disgusting. Oh yeah and when van Helsing kills him and he is falling and as he is falling....he turns into Dr. Jekyll! In the book he needs the special antidote to change himself back into his original state.
Now. Frankenstein. The movie the whole crap about him being electric and fleeing to the burning windmill with the village people after him. Every movie ever made about Frankenstein includes this. Frankenstein is all parts human no parts electricity or metal. He is a complete human sown together out of human parts they did not pump him with electricity, he just put him together and he was alive...not freaking electricity involved. No freaking burning windmill, or villagers. He was made in a laboratory at a college and the only one who knew of him was his maker, Frankenstein.
Last, and most brutally abused, Dracula, the best book ever. First let me start off with the main character. In the book van Helsing is an old man, a doctor who knows how to kill vampires. Not a renegade monster slayer. Second, this book defined vampires, it created them, and the movie sacrifices the vampires limits and restraints for the sake of the shallow adventure fan...no they are not all powerful. No they cannot spread their wings and fly. The only way a vampire can fly is by changing into a vulgar flying creature i.e. a bat. Third, what the heck is up with the automatic crossbow....no, they would not have it back then. Fourth, weapons equivalent to that of a predator are not needed and certainly not used ever in the book. You want to know how they really kill vampires? They ply open their coffins and get them with a stake, or put a wafer on them a communion wafer. No special weapons.
Well I could keep going forever about its flaws, but i will spare you. True book fans will not watch this movie.