Only Fleeting Glimpses . . .

Rating: 3/10 (5 May 2004)

Borrowing from a wide-spectrum of films, including James Bond, Rambo, Bugs Bunny, comedies and classic horror, Van Helsing is a film that does not bring the viewer IN. You are never engaged. Instead, you are disengaged by a goofy and thin storyline, almost never-ending noise and gratuitous special effects and ridiculous action scenes that are more filler than story progression. Van Helsing is less film and more lengthy promotion for a future 'thrill' ride at one of Universal's parks. As a ride, Van Helsing would be fun -- not scarey, not eerie, just an entertaining few minutes of fun. As a film, it is very cartoonish, sometimes boring, often repetitive -- and a huge disappointment. Or is it? To be disappointed, one has to have certain expectations. If you are aware that the director (Stephen Sommers) of Van Helsing also directed the recent films The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, your expectations were probably not that lofty. If you loved those movies, and many did($800 million plus worldwide), you will be thrilled with Van Helsing. If you thought those films relied too heavily on special effects and not enough on story or character development, you will see the same flaws in Van Helsing. If you are a fan of the vintage horror films of the 30's and 40's, you will see glimpses of some outstanding visuals that harken to the images of those films. And, you will see many of the famous monsters of those films, including Frankenstein's creation, Dracula and the Wolfman. However, you will see only fleeting glimpses of what could have been a return to classic horror -- with the benefit of a huge budget (estimated to be in the $150 million dollar range). Van Helsing is devoid of the creepy and eerie spirit of the vintage films and the frights of more recent offerings. Special effects are the primary focus of Van Helsing and, as such, turn the film in to a lavish cartoon/video game, with no depth and not even any real thrills. Even the aforementioned monsters are disappointing, with the Frankenstein monster looking pretty plump (he garnered laughs at the screening I saw), Dracula hamming it up and the Wolfman, looking less like a wolf-MAN, and more like an artist's rendering -- which is appropriate since he exhibits the ability to survive tremendous falls much like Wyle E. Coyote. Unless you are a fan of loooong cartoons, Van Helsing, at more than two hours, will bore you more than entertain you and leave you wishing that the filmmakers had dug deeper -- not in to their pockets -- but, in to their imaginations to create a film that would have at least creeped us out and at best gave us some jolts.