Not the disaster I heard it was--but not good at all

Rating: 6/10 (21 May 2004)

In the 18th century, Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) who is working for the church (???) travels to Romania with a monk Carl (David Wenham) to battle Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), his three brides, the Wolf Man (Will Kemp) and the Frankenstein Monster (Shuler Hensley). He's helped by feisty Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale).
This has been trashed by critics everywhere. No it isn't good at all...but I've seen worse. It starts off great with a black & white prologue dealing with Dr. Frankenstein creating the Monster for Dracula. The doctor is killed and so is his creation (supposedly). Then it cuts to a year later with Van Helsing being sent to battle Dracula and his three wives who are attacking a nearby village for blood. There he finds a werewolf roaming about also and the Monster is alive. But Dracula wants the monster to....FORGET IT! The plot just gets more vague and sillier as it goes on. Anyways plot is not the reason this movie exists--it's done to push CGI down our throats.
There's LOTS of action in this film, incredible special effects (all are CGI) and tons of explosions and such---but I was bored. The plot is WAY too vague and the dialogue is on the level of an Archie comic book. There's no characterizations or depth to ANY of the characters--how was I supposed to care for these people when I didn't know who they were? Also this film has way too much going on it in--the opening has Van Helsing killing Mr. Hyde (and Dr. Jekyll too)! And pitting him against THREE monsters was just overkill.
Jackman was very good (considering he had nothing to do). Beckinsale was terrible but it's not her fault. Wenham unfortunately plays the "comic" relief (and is hating every second of it). Kemp has little screen time but he is good (and VERY handsome). Hensley is good as Frankenstein's monster. The makeup on the vampires and werewolves was VERY impressive too. And there was a great fight between two monsters at the end. But it's all money and CGI and no plot or characters. It's also frustrating that the violence was really toned down for the PG-13--there's next to no blood or gore in this film. And it's TOO LONG--an elaborate masquerade party could have been left out completely (and is a total ripoff of Roman Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Killers"). This was a bomb at the box office so we're (thankfully) not going to get any sequels.
I can't recommend it--but kids will like it.