HUGE Disappointment - WAY over the top & VERY Dumb

Rating: Null/10 (7 May 2004)

This movie was EXACTLY like watching a two-hour video game. How old was the person that wrote this script? I know you don't go to this type of film looking for a deep plot or even a believable story but you at least expect coherent entertainment. From the opening fight scene with Mr. Hyde through the end of the film, there wasn't one single moment when you bought in to the CGI chaos that was depicted on the screen. When severely underdeveloped characters are flying around and defying every law of physics, you're never allowed to get involved in the movie on any level other then the `cool cartoon' level (and quite frankly very few of the jerky CGI cartoon creature scenes were that cool). I could literally list the WAY over the top, unbelievable cartoon moments but that would fill up an entire page. The sad part is that most of the CGI monsters looked really fake. From Hyde to the baby vampires to the vampire women, they all looked extremely cheesy. Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale are exceptional actors but were so stranded by this script and by the stunts that it almost hurt to watch them floundering on screen from one fake backdrop to another. The hambone that played Dracula threw so much over the top cheese at EVERY single line he delivered that my arteries hardened just watching him. To call this film a disappointment would be an understatement. I was greatly looking forward to it because of the concept, the cast and the obviously huge budget. It's such a shame that they threw this much talent and this much money behind a script written by someone's pre-teen child. I guess I should be asking myself why would I expect anything remotely intelligent from a movie that was directed by the director of The Mummy & Mummy Returns? I'd say next time I'll know better but there won't be a next time for me sitting through any more of this guy's movies.