mindless, entertaining romp...

Rating: 7/10 (7 May 2004)

...those are the first words which spring automatically to mind when asked to review 'Van Helsing'. I had been anticipating this movie for little over two months, after I found out Sommers had casted Kate Beckinsale. Without her, I probably wouldn't have been so psyched up about it.

I saw it last night on preview and lemme say first off, I don't give a toss what the critics think - or those who continue to diss the movie before even seeing it. I, personally, went for Kate and for what I got of her, it left me with a tingling, warm fuzzy sensation. I thought the whole movie, overall was fun. that's what I went for. Mindless fun. Some entertainment on a Thursday night. LXG this movie was not. And thank god.
So basic overview of the plot - Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is a man set out to rid the world of evil do-ers. He becomes the most wanted man in Europe after killing Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde in his opening scenes in Paris. Then he is sent on a mission to Romania to help the Valerious family defeat the legendary count, Dracula (an unimpressive Richard Roxborough). All the Valerious clan has been killed and it's two remaining descendents are Velkan (Will Kemp) and his sister, Princess Anna (Kate Beckinsale). Working together, they set about to eliminate Dracula and his three vampire brides in a bid to help each desceased member of the Valerious family get into the gates of heaven.
The sets and scenery were fantastic, really impressive. Likewise are the Wolfman transformations. Will Kemp is absolutely goregous; definately a rising star. The Friar character is essentially, the movie's only form of humor - which was lacking a bit. Even when Van Helsing tried to employ his own humor, it kinda backfired...quite a number of the audience laughed at the Friar's lines/un-intended puns and jokes - and we had a full audience.
Casting wise; I don't think Roxbourgh cuts it as the legendary foe. I fear this man will become a typecast for bad guys; i) the duke in 'Moulin Rouge' and ii) the bad guy in last year's truely rotten 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'... Likewise with the three vampire brides - I found them to be irritiating. Whenever they laughed, it was like screeching. And that sound in the cinema is NOT a good thing. The bride effects, when they were in the air and flying around and whatnot were, for me, a real let down. Unlike the wolfman effects, they were unconvincing. I found that with Stephen Sommers' last movie, 'The Mummy Returns'. The brides are Van Helsing's equivalent of the Scorpion King beast. Sommers, at times, relies on too much CGI and it, suffice to say, kills his movies.
I much preferred the aforementioned Wolfman scenes and the make up on Frankenstein's monster. One thing that really irked me - Kevin O'Conner, who plays the very hunchback-y Igor. You may remember him as Benny, the little weed in 'The Mummy' - he esentially has no part.
As for Jackman - I love him, a lot, but I hope he sticks with Wolverine as his stand out performance. I didn't really form an opinion on him as the male lead, but he has so much charm and charisma - who cares how he acted on the screen?
I loved Anna to bits. I think after the Friar, she was my favourite character. Simply because of who is playing her: Kate Beckinsale. First off, I loved the accent...some reviewer said she sounded too much like some character in the 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' cartoon - having never seen that, I can't compare. It was campy but I loved it. I found myself smiling at every scene she was in...chuckling to myself with the accent - she does it so well. Never falters once.
In my opinion, the majority of thespians struggle with accents other than their own. Prime example being Colin Farrell in 'American Outlaws'...his Irish keeps drifting in when he talks and hey, wasn't Jesse James an american? Rachel Weisz has that similiar problem [though not quite as bad as Farrell's]. While I love Beckinsale's fellow English compatriot; she doesn't do so well with American...Beckinsale does the transylvanian/romanian accent very well. Likewise when she portrays an American in her other movies.
In a nut shell - Beckinsale shimmers. She sizzles. She dazzles. She sparkles. She's glowing. All that good stuff. I found it quite entertaining that three or four guys, who were seated in front of me, kept going on about how hot she was. When she has her first scene in the movie, one of them turned to his friend and just uttered a single "f*cking hell"...you can imagine what that was aimed at...For me, a defining scene is definately the masquerade ball - that's all I'm saying. Loved the close relationship Anna has with Velkan. I felt a little sorry for the character in some scenes - there are times where she really gets beaten about. Falling over things, falling through things - i felt Sommers was almost taking the mick out of a very intelligent Beckinsale; making the character seem clumsy. But hey, Beckinsale all sweaty and punched out is quite a turn on.
Final thoughts; go see this movie if you want. Don't let the critics get you downhearted. Form your own opinion on it - I did.
Rating: *** out of ***** (Maybe pushing it for four stars; solely on the grounds of a dazzling Beckinsale)