If you liked this movie, you must be in middle school...

Rating: 1/10 (18 July 2006)

I'd heard from multiple sources that Van Helsing was a stupid movie, that they hated it, that they wished they could have the time back that they wasted on it. I thought they were exaggerating, and since I'm a sucker for vampire movies or anything else a little out of the ordinary, I decided to watch the movie anyway. This was my biggest mistake... It is all true. It is really is one of the most idiotic movies ever made. I am embarrassed for Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale. Were they blackmailed into doing this movie or something? It is almost like the director and writer were TRYING to make the worst movie ever made, (or if they were trying to make it like those silly 'B' horror movies from fifty years ago, they didn't even do that well). It had all of the ridiculous clichés, horrible special effects, and was just plain dumb. I was increasingly annoyed as the film progressed and kept thinking, are you kidding me? Did anyone spend even one cent to produce this ridiculous piece of crap? I most thoroughly do NOT recommend that anyone waste any of their time on this movie, perhaps one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen.