A Not-So-Magnificent Failutre

Rating: 5/10 (16 May 2006)

Stephen Sommers made "The Mummy", once just Boris Karloff cashing in on the Egyptology craze, cool again, injecting a campy sensibility into the fun summer flick. Were he only as succeessful in "Van Helsing" as he was in "The Mummy", and heck, even the mediocre "Mummy Returns".
What's not working in Van Helsing? Well, first the titular character has no descernable connection to Abraham Van Helsing, one of Dracula's primary foes in the Bram Stoker novel. I'm convinced Hugh Jackman was born to play Wolverine, but the same cannot be said about Van Helsing - both heroes don't know their past, but with Van Helsing, no one really seems to care.
Kate Beckinsale is a tremendously beautiful and gifted actress. Unfortunately, she's saddled with a thick Translyvanian accent that would give Bela Lugosi a run for his money. About midway through the film, Beckinsale seems so frustrated with the consistency of the accent, she seems to just drop it - which is a considerable mercy.
The same can be said of the film's werewolf - it begins life an fearsome and furry CGI creation, but by the end, the producers don't seem to be trying, and the werewolf, much like the movie, seems to be in full video game mode. By now, the werewolf has lost most of its physical weight and all of its bite.
Roxbough's Dracula and his brides seem to be bi-polar. Apparently realized he's no Gary Oldman, Roxbough compensates by freaking out a lot. He's not really that scary.
Igor looks like Gary Busey. He's really that scary.
So what is working in this film? David Wenham's Carl, Van Helsing's aid. And that's really the only reason this film got a high a rating as it did.