Truly Awful...ultimately so absurd that it's a $150 Million B-Movie

Rating: Null/10 (11 May 2004)

It's built on a shaky foundation of impossibilities. Willing suspension of disbelief is expected with any film, but this movie asks you to swallow a lot of stupidity. It's ultimately so absurd - and sometimes so downright unintentionally laughable - that nobody associated with making this movie can possibly emerge unscathed and that's a shame. Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale are just too good for this type of lame-brain summer movie. Was that the absolute worst Dracula in the history of the cinema? EVERY line that two bit actor delivered was so cheesy and over the top that it my me grimace in disbelief. A film of singularly boneheaded conceits...populated by, and appears to have been made by, stoned college dudes more hung up on oh-wow twists than the need to make sense.