A horrifying abomination

Rating: 2/10 (29 September 2008)

Count Dracula is out to steal Dr Frankenstein's formula for reanimating living beings and also to take the key to this work, The Monster himself, his reason is to give life to thousands of Vampire babies he has spawned with his three wives, that are cocooned up in his Transylvaniaian cellar. Meanwhile across town Van Helsing is a masked crusader that fights evil and creatures of the night at the behest of a secret papal organisation. We meet up with him first as he tries to capture a demented Mr Hyde who is hiding out in Notre Dame cathedral, after disposing of his foe, he is sent on a mission to stop this Dracula character from completing his evil plans. Universal has a wonderful colourful history of Horror and creature films, here yet again Sommers, the man responsible for The Mummy films, continues to plunder their archives for the best of their characters and this time throws them all in to a Horror hotch potch of a film and hopes that they all gel..They don't!. Where can one begin? This film is a CGI abomination where nothing looks real, it's a bastardisation of wonderful childhood memories that I treasure, the characters are given new personas, for what reason I don't know? Other than to cash in on an already successful franchise, Sommers could have tried to bring new monsters to the screen, but instead he alters the very facets of the ones we love with an arrogant disregard. Van Helsing is now a James Bond like character, who has his very own team of experts who spend their days, making ridiculous contraptions and gadgets to help him rid the world of evil. Jackman sleepwalks though the film, Beckinsale looks hot but has little else to offer, Roxburgh hams it up aplenty as old Drac, but again fails to capture the character. For 0.99 I thought I had a bargain, despite its much heralded flaws, the fact is I was robbed of not only the paltry financial amount but more importantly 2 hours of my life.