I wanted to like "V.H.", I really did...

Rating: 6/10 (16 May 2004)

I like Hugh Jackman ("Van Helsing's" Recalcitrant Hero); I like Kate Beckinsale (The Stunning Heroine); I like Richard Roxburgh (The Sexy Anti-Hero) and David Wenham (The Hero's Quirky Sidekick). And the first quarter-hour of "Van Helsing" ("V.H.") starts off promisingly, in Paris, with our hero battling Mr. Hyde (Dr. Jekyll's alter ego) in Notre Dame cathedral. Granted, some liberties have been taken with the Parisian geography and Notre Dame's architecture, but who cares? I wanted to see a big, over-the-top movie, and "V.H." is certainly that. But, like Count Dracula, it has no heartbeat, no real soul. (How's that for an analogy, eh?) It's one gravity-defying set piece after another. I found myself thinking about the last generation of movies and movie-goers: If you were in the ticket queue and you overheard someone coming out of the theater saying "Weren't the locations in the film beautiful?", you knew that the person was looking for something nice to say because film itself was a stinker. Instead we now say "Weren't the effects fantastic?" And indeed, the combination of motion capture and keyframe animation - especially when the brides of Dracula swoop in to terrify the poor Transylvanian villagers who must live with not only vampires but also werewolves and - for a time - Dr. Frankenstein (who leaves his misunderstood "monster" behind) as well. (Why don't these people move?) I felt particularly sorry for Jackman: It's one thing to play the strong, silent type, but it's quite another to not have enough material to really (pardon the pun) sink your teeth into. And I don't believe I'm spoiling the film by saying that in the climactic fight scene finale, he's hardly seen: His digital double does all the heavy lifting. But in a way this was the logical conclusion, since throughout the film almost all the other main characters appeared to enjoy themselves more than V.H.--even if they were often guilty of chewing the scenery (again, sorry about the pun). So my advice would be as follows: Want to see Hugh Jackman? Watch "X-Men 2". Kate Beckinsale? Go for a little film called "Shooting Fish". In the meantime, I've heard that there will probably be a "V.H. 2", and why not? When your enemy is the undead you can go on and on and on....