VAN HELSING: Monsters, action, horrible script.

Rating: 5/10 (12 September 2009)

My Take: A dumb, but visually-stunning adventure with some neat action and some truly terrible dialog.
If there's a weakness I have, it's how I keep changing my opinion on the movies I watch. I saw VAN HELSING back then, sort of liked it then forgot much about it. Since I have a vague memory of VAN HELSING since then, I just dismissed it as the CGI effects-laden mess that everyone else called. But upon seeing it again a few weeks ago, it fared much better than I expected. If I wrote about VAN HELSING back then, I would have given it the 3 stars I'm giving it now; It's enjoyable and occasionally exciting, but still pretty silly and quite forgettable.
I didn't really grow up with the old Universal monster movies (these movie are even older than my parents are!), but their impact is undeniable. Whether or not you have seen all of those original B&W classics, you are maybe living under a rock or something if you don't even know who Dracula is. These guys are the big leagues! Our generation is grown up on movie serial killers and soulless slashers who have none of these immortals' depth or class; You can actually find something to identify with in these monsters. And here they are, all together in one movie, like a greatest hits collection strewn together like a Frankenstein's Monster. VAN HELSING's great B&W opening alone is a great homage to the classic monster movies and probably the best moment in the entire film.
The rest is pretty much standard action-with-CGI fare. Van Helsing, an intelligent old hero in the old Dracula classics, is turned into a comic-book action hero here (played by Hugh Jackman) complete with gadgets, a comic-relief sidekick, a secret organization he works for (a secret Vatican organization with more James Bond 007 references you will ever need in a movie) and the girl. But regardless of his presence, Jackman could have done so much more to the role. The movie was pure intentional camp to be sure, the least Jackman should have done is to add more humor and edge to the character. Worse still is Kate Beckinsale (a fine actress, need I mention) who plays vampire hunter Anna Valerious. She shares very little chemistry with Jackman's Gabriel Van Helsing, while an adventure movie of this kind could have done so much more. Then there's the CGI, superior and all, is just a bit too overcrowded at times. Did the movie really need a CGI Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde? And don't get me started on Dracula's screeching overbearing wives who turn into flying bat-like creatures (which makes me wonder if the real actresses who played them weren't CGI characters themselves!).
Director Stephen Sommers of THE MUMMY pictures could have made another purely enjoyable blockbuster, but this flawed, silly yet marginally entertaining one lacks the charm of his previous works. One thing I do remember enjoying in VAN HELSING is the action, and they're still pretty gripping this time around. Sometimes though, I wish that Sommers realize that CGI without a lot of fun in them are just lifeless. And that script, bleh!
Rating: **1/2 out of 5.