By far - Not the Movie to 'Kickoff the Summer'

Rating: 3/10 (18 May 2004)

Well, this happens to me only once in awhile. I decide to see a 'Blockbuster' movie on opening day. Problem is that I don't have a chance to assess creditable reviews on media blitzed Hollywood movies, which exaggerates false promise and almost always disappointswith few exceptions (i.e. Spiderman 1, Gladiator).
Van Helsing was no-exception. This was out write terrible. I guess this could have been my fault. I new the direction the movie was headed. A Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) directed, PG 13 rated, summer blockbuster that needs to cover its cost by grabbing the widest possible audience. Lets make a vampire movie for the family, so to speak. OK, with that said, I will expect a fast action, corny (yet sometimes funny) dialog, computer animated joy ride. If this is your cup-of-tea, then the 'formula was there.' However, the movie lacked all the major support elements.
The story was muddy and boring. What was Dracula's end result? Gremlin babies to fly around and do what, torment the world. This was never really clarified for me. Besides why in the world would Dracula want to create little gremlin vampires when he has an endless count of full grown, equally as menacing vampires chilling at his masquerade. If death by a certain creature were the only way to destroy Dracula, then why wouldn't he eliminate or keep the threat as far away as possible??? There are many questions like these you'll be asking yourself during and after the movie. Like, what happened to the original ware wolf, and did they literally bite that idea from Blade 2 (you'll understand when you see the movie).
Maybe the Friar Carl played by David Wenham (Lord of the Rings), would have been a nice comic relief but the exhausting vibe of the rest of the movie absorbed any liking one could have for the witty Friar. In fact, all characters were boring; I don't care how good they looked. Kate's character had fluctuations in her accent. Hugh's character has flat. Dracula had a clip in his hair, and the women vampire's were sexy, but unnecessarily screamed and wined. I could care less what happened to the characters in the end. It turned out to be comical and I just wanted the movie to conclude.
Kate and Hugh are terrific actors; they are both attractive and have immense screen presence. Putting Kate (the Vampire movie lover) aside, I'm extremely disappointed in Hugh. I don't expect him to pick up the slack for a horrific screenplay, but I do expect him to make better decisions in the future. I have no problem if Hugh is chasing money and popularity, but at least set a standard for movie selections. This is your first big mistake 'Hollywood Hugh,' please don't make another, at least not anytime soon. I'd hate to compare your movie selections to your Aussie counter part Heath Ledger.
I was hoping to see a different movie here, one for adults or the less squeamish child. I needed Van Helsing to follow along the lines of 'Allen Hughes's From Hell,' 'Bram Stoker's Dracula,' and/or Sleepy Hollow. These movies were dark and had an eerie feeling. They as well as director M. Night Shyamalan prove that subtle suggestions and a brilliant story can have a greater effect, then CG and overwhelming media hype.
I hope this movie isn't an inclination of this summer's silver screen newbies. I'm very skeptical of 'Troy' and 'Spiderman.' However, I'm extremely excited about the Village.