(POSSIBLE SPOILERS)I wanted to get up and leave!

Rating: 1/10 (9 May 2004)

POSSIBLE SPOILERS!!!
Ok...This one ranks up there with UHF as the worst movie of all time. After about 20 minutes, I asked my Wife if we could leave and she replied "no". A definite regret for her in hindsight.
No character development, no story, poor CGI, horrible screenplay and absolutely no feelings for Van Helsing himself or his Crusade. Some background on Helsing and why he became so bent on wiping out Monsters other than a "life-debt" he owed to the Church would have been nice.
I wanted him and his ANNOYING sidekick - Carl (played by David Wenham) to randomly take one of Helsing's bow-gun spears to the head very early on! With the 100's flying around as Helsing - being the ultimate Assassin he is - somehow avoids to hit his targets in what seems like a bad space chase with "lasers" gone awry! I guess the Church is not good at creating weapons or Warriors!
The movie ends as hopelessly as it started - with a bond so strongly cultivated throughout the movie with Monster Frankenstein - Van Helsing and cohorts show their love for BIG FRANK by placing him on a raft - 3 logs wide - and sending him out into the watery Abyss. Nice! Truly what a savior of humanity would do!
I often wonder why I contemplate writing about a movie so wretched? Hopefully, in my altruistic nature it is to save you money, time and the disgrace of having to watch garbage.