Yes, it's a mess, but...

Rating: 6/10 (6 May 2004)

*Here there be spoilers!*
Once again, a movie where viewer reactions run the full gamut from "great!" to "terrible!" - which must mean it's an interesting movie!
And so it is. Despite what some people claim, it actually has an interesting and complex story: Dracula and his three brides are desperate for progeny, and have set huge plans in motion to that end; plans which comprise the culmination of the movie. And Gabriel Van Helsing himself... well, let's just say that his first name is no coincidence.
Unfortunately, the story is told in fits and starts, parts of it even backwards. The narrative structure is a mess. Which is probably the reason that some of the audience fail to even notice the coherent story. Seriously.
What I was feeling during most of this movie was: Rewrites galore. We have here a movie that starts out as comedy, and then gets more and more serious as it progresses, ending up as a tragedy! It seems to me that the script was originally serious and tragic, and then sometime in the production process some Hollywood executives decreed that no-one could take this seriously, so it had to be turned into a tongue-in-cheek comedy.
This might have worked if they'd gone comical all the way. But they left in the tragic finale, with the death of the heroine! That was, excuse me for saying so, real stupid. (On the other hand, it occurs to me that the writers may have intended her death as a happy ending for *her*, since it meant she got to be with her dead family - but that's really too esoteric for most viewers, myself included.) Of course, I may be wrong about the rewrites, and this thing was a mess of bad writing from the beginning. Entirely possible. But I like the other theory better.
This movie actually does have a lot of things going for it. For a movie buff, its myriad references to other movies, from Aliens to Sherlock Holmes, are very entertaining to spot. For this reason alone, I wouldn't put it past this movie to eventually develop a cult audience. There are also a couple of good lines ("Do unto others, before they do unto you!"), although only a few.
The SFX were impressive. Some say they're cheesy, but that's just not true. The effects in *Underworld* were cheesy (and I still liked it!), but the ones in Van Helsing are MUCH better. There's so much good stuff here. Castles, cityscapes, rock bridges, animated paintings... Dracula's brides are very cleverly done, esp. when they change into their human forms. And the final transformation of Gabriel into the Wolf Man is great!

However - when all is said and done, the movie really is a mess. There are lots of situations with which a lot could have been done, but they merely serve as throwaways. There doesn't seem to be any deeper meaning to any of the action (except that it's all God's will or something similarly silly). And in the end the story doesn't satisfy. In the end, this is just another B-movie with only one real reason to watch it: the female lead.
Kate Beckinsale is a vision of beauty and coolness. I never liked corsets until this movie. Her dark eyes and shock of dark-brown curls are absolutely delicious. Her character is stylish, spiritted and courageous, with just a hint of vulnerability. If you don't like Kate Beckinsale, you, sir, have no taste.
6 out of 10.