The BEST example of what is wrong with many Hollywood pictures today.

Rating: 2/10 (5 June 2008)

This is probably the very best example of what is wrong with Hollywood today. When people around the world complain that Hollywood is churning out over-budgeted, special effects-laden films with brainless plots, this is the first film that comes to mind. It was as if the studio execs knowingly produced a bad film because they simply knew that marketing and stupid effects would draw the undiscerning teens like flies to a corpse. And, I hate to admit it, but if the bottom line is money, then this film was a success. The fact that it made millions is depressing and further supports the notion that crap sells and quality is irrelevant in a bottom-line world. I found it so offensively dumb that I wanted my money back after seeing it--and it was in a dollar theater!! My teenage daughter felt equally appalled and said "that's an hour and a half of my life down the drain!". I am so proud of my girl!
So let's talk about why I totally hated this film. Despite tons of money being spent on sets and all, it sounded like the dialog was written by a middle schooler. The worst example was the wretched and cliché-ridden scene where Van Helsing first meets his lady love. He walks into town as countless flying vampire maidens are soaring about--destroying the town and attacking the clichéd "tough as nails" heroine. Now, at this point, the annoying heroine is getting the crap knocked out of her by these vampires and Van Helsing literally saves her from certain death. So what does she do in the world of dumb dialog--she snaps out that she is doing just fine and she doesn't want his help! This is taking the spunky and petulant babe role to such a stupid extreme that I literally groaned out loud in the theater. And, did I mention is this 100% anachronistic film that Van Helsing helps her with the aid of a machine gun that shoots wooden stakes! Heck, such a gun would be next to impossible to make NOW--let alone back in the 19th century!!! The dialog and action is pretty consistent with this scene throughout the film--one petulant scene after another and one great special effects scene after another. While I appreciate the beauty of the special effects, without a plot and dialog, they are pretty much worthless.
Since seeing this wretched film, I have talked to dozens of my high school students and adults about this. With only a few exceptions, the kids liked it with such comments like "I loved the action" and "the flying vampire babes were cool"--and no mention of the story or characters. Those who hated it (mostly, but not exclusively adults) described it as "brainless" or "just plain dumb". Just because impressionable kids LIKE this sort of tripe, should we, as responsible parents, let them feed on a constant diet of this brain-rot?! God help us, as these kids are our future!