Watch Dead and loving it instead

Rating: 1/10 (17 July 2005)

First a confession. I gave up watching this travesty after the first hour. As a human rather than an immortal vampire, I decided that I could not waste any more of my limited lifespan on this appalling film.
I watched the monochrome opening under the belief that this was a spoof shown before the main feature.
As it featured Dracula and Frankenstein I expected Abbott and Costello to appear in the manner of the recent deadstar-studded Virgin train commercial. Richard Roxborough's, camp as a field of tents, performance then lead me to believe that it was going to be a re-imagining of Carry on Screaming.
As for supporting performances, special mention must be made of Alun Armstrong's accent - scary although it has to be said that it was not as unconvincing as the CGI effects during the aerial attack by the brides of Dracula.
If you want to see Kate Beckinsale in a vampire flick watch Underworld. If you want to see a better vampire film watch "Dead and Loving It", If you want a reinterpretation of the Van Helsing character, may I suggest Von Goosewing in "Duckula"