Anything Goes Means Nothing Works

Rating: 3/10 (21 July 2004)

The plot is incoherent. The special effects/action scenes crowd out any possibility of real acting, yet are strangely and distractingly sub-par. To call the characters "cardboard cutouts" would be offensive to cardboard.
I don't usually say this about movies, because I appreciate that writing is not easy. But in this case, I'll say it: Even I could have written a better script. The mirror universe of the movie has no internal logic - virtually anything appears to be possible at any time - so there can be no dramatic tension. Plot points are revealed through awkward explanatory speeches, rather than by showing the audience how things are. That would be a serious weakness in any sort of script, but it's a huge mistake in an action movie, of all things. Without the slightest whiff of drama and without any audience involvement with the sketchy characters, the action that makes up the bulk of the movie is merely sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Not silly enough to be fun in the MST3000 sense, it was merely dull. As if to make up for the dullness, it's also long. I kept checking my watch, something I don't recall doing in the movies recently. I paid US$0.50 to see this movie, and I think it was about US$8 too much. Some have called this movie "homage" to monster movies of old. If this is what the golden-oldie monster movies were like, I'd say they're best forgotten.