Do not watch this stinker!

Rating: 1/10 (12 May 2004)

Dollar for dollar (and there were a lot of dollars spent on this piece of garbage), this may be one of the worst movies of the past 5 years. A decent scriptwriter and director should have been included in the huge budget. Even as mindless entertainment goes, "Van Helsing" is a pathetic waste of time. I saw it for free, and I still felt ripped off. The story-bad, special effects-poor, performances by otherwise fine actors-fair to bad, dialogue-bad, music-inappropriate and annoying.
To paraphrase my friend Will Cockrell: -------------------------------------- 1) Take the money you were planning on spending to see van helsing, put it in an envelope.
2) Mail it to me.
3) Next time I see you I'll show you a picture of Kate Beckinsale in a corset, we'll watch about an hours worth of bad video game cutscenes, and I'll punch you in the crotch.
Same difference.----------------------
'nuff said