An Updated "Fearless Vampire Killers"

Rating: 7/10 (26 March 2005)

Of great entertainment value are the "Van Helsing" comments and message board postings from people who apparently just don't get it. Parody/satire of horror films has a long tradition and ranges from the obvious (see Abbott & Costello, Mel Brooks, and "Redneck Zombies") to the subtle (see "The Fearless Vampire Killers" and "Evil Dead"). Before reading many of the comments I would have grouped "Van Helsing" closer to the obvious, after all the film depicts a Vatican Department modeled on James Bond's Special Weapons "Q" Section. But apparently even something so obvious is not registering with many people, if the true measure of a 'subtle' satire is how many people just don't get it, then "Van Helsing" certainly qualifies.
They went into this project saying something like: "let's use digital effects and a large budget to create the most interesting sets in horror movie history, and then use these as a backdrop for a parody of the "horror genre". When concerns were raised about the expense for just a comedy, they pitched it as a sophisticated parody that would not get in the way of the average viewer's desire to see a traditional vampire movie. Such a dichotomy allows the movie to generate big bucks at the box office while still providing its makers with an outlet for their creativity. But such a dichotomy means there will be a third group of viewers who cannot suspend belief enough to enjoy it as a horror film and yet will totally miss the parody angle (the only question is whether they too humorless to find enjoyment in such frivolity or are just a little too dim to appreciate it). We see a lot of negative comments from this third group but 'f them if they can take a joke'-or don't get a joke.
The movie opens with a visually awesome scene of the villagers storming a huge castle and burning a windmill; the sets and the music are great. Except for the overacting and the presence of an assistant named 'Egor' or "Igor" (see Mel Brooks reference), you would not suspect that this is anything but a serious horror film. Actually at first I thought it might be a high budget commercial and kept thinking Dracula would say he had gotten a great deal on his car insurance. Although this was the best scene in the movie there were several almost as good and each one had a similar restrained level of satire.
The film plays homage to the Karloff/Chaney films, to Abbott and Costello, Mel Brooks, James Bond and The Wild, Wild West. There is a little Phantom of the Opera and even Eli Wallach's best line from 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly' (if you're going to shoot, shoot don't talk). In fact they even lift the vampire ballroom scene from "The Fearless Vampire Killers".
The individual performances are from the William Shatner School of Over-Acting with Dracula's brides totally stealing each scene in which they are featured. I particularly liked Josie Maran (who had that great scene as the cigarette girl in "The Aviator") as Marishka. The costumes are almost as good as the sets. The computer-generated action sequences illustrate all the problems with digital effects, but work fine as satirical devices.
So if you want to see a fun film with unparalleled visuals this is the one. Others who can suspend belief and ignore a few campy elements will enjoy it as a straight vampire picture. But if you are can't suspend belief, are humorless, or don't know the horror genre you should stay away.
Because there are really two movies here, the first viewing withholds most of the viewing pleasure; once you understand what is happening repeated viewings are even more fun.