Less a tribute to Universal horror, more a mindless CGI mess

Rating: 4/10 (26 November 2016)

Stephen Sommers goes for broke with this big-budget monster mash, filmed in exactly the same vein as his MUMMY remake and just as disappointing. Things begin quite promisingly with a homage to the Universal classics of the 1930s but rapidly descend into inanity, as one hurried action sequence follows another with no logic, reason or plot to be seen at any point. The film is noisy, special effect-filled and totally lacking in characterisation or story, as superhero Van Helsing (renamed Gabriel – did they not have the rights to the character or something?) battles not only Dracula but werewolves and Frankenstein's Monster too (incorrectly called Frankenstein in one scene).
The movie lasts for an astonishing two hours without offering anything new at all – you really will have seen everything that's on offer here. There are blatant rip-offs throughout and a lack of common sense on the part of the director that is really annoying – you can just picture him saying "let's have that woman fall off the roof and jump down a tree! cool!" Hugh Jackman is pretty wooden as the hero, but who can blame him given the material, whilst Kate Beckinsale does ridiculous rather well. Richard Roxburgh, an actor who I really liked in MOULIN ROUGE, is similarly awful as camp goth-vamp Dracula, whilst David Wenham, gives the best performance as the comic relief. The special effects are wicked, as you would expect given the budget – those werewolf transformations are particularly good – although the flying female vampires look a little too CGI for my liking. Sadly, the said effects don't save what is essentially a dog of a film.