Actually a funny film

Rating: Null/10 (14 October 2004)

To get it out of the way to start with, this film is not a horror film. It's not scary (unless Beckinsale's atrocious accent frightens you, as it
did me) and it's not particularly full of horror of any description. I
will start with what is wrong about this film--then what is right
about it (the latter being the larger part of this review).
Yes, Beckinsale and Jackman do take themselves too seriously.
They seem to be under the impression that this film was meant to
be some sort of Shakespearean-type horrorfest--a blend of the
artfulness of "Hamlet" and the terrifying aspects of the 1931
"Dracula." Well, the truth is that the film seems to be leaning
closer to the Hammer studios and/or Rocky Horror-type scenario.
It's supposed to be funny-something that neither Jackman nor
Beckinsale seem to comprehend. Beckinsale's accent is horrible,
and not in the funny kind of way. It's just bad. Will Kemp as her
brother is probably the only bad actor in the lot, and he proves it
too. Yeah, acting school. Beyond that, the carriage exploding like
an 18-wheeler at the bottom of a gorge in Transylvania (I know that
there's supposed to be nitroglycerin in it, but really now) is just a
little too over the top for even my sense of the absurd. So much for
the bad. Now for the good.
First of all, the sets are fantastic and the CGI appropriately silly in
places. The opening scene is a glorious homage to the masters
and every shot is perfectly, gloriously derivative, making the film
into a work of post-post-modernity. David Wenham as Carl is
simply marvelous and funny, and Shuler Hensley as a semi-philosophical Frankenstein Monster makes the world
appear at least a little more serious--maybe. The brides of
Dracula are, well, the brides of Dracula,and with their shrieking
laughter and rampant desire to sleep with anything and everything,
they are entertaining. What more can you expect from a tribute to
the B-horror movie genre?
A word must be said about the incredibly attractive and sexy
Richard Roxburgh as Dracula. Honestly, the sexiest Dracula
since...well, the sexiest Dracula. He is so wonderfully over the top,
taking the role both seriously and with a grain of salt at the same
time, and never once losing his accent (which, like everything else
in this film, is properly affected and a little silly). If this film is
destined to be made into a movie franchise, let Sommers bring
back Roxburgh for the sequel! He was by far the best part of the
film, and always enjoyable to watch. Let this be the incarnation of
a cinematic Dracula that is here to stay!
So, it's not a bad film if you can laugh at it. Don't rent it, buy it, or go see it without knowing that you have to laugh (whether you're
supposed to or not is beside the point). Take "Van Helsing" too
seriously, and it's a dud. But, take it as it seems meant to be
taken, as a tribute to B-horror films and an entertaining (if not
totally campy) piece of Hollywood silliness, and you'll be satisfied.
There's no reason not to laugh.