Oh, and Did I Mention the Costumes Were Designed by a Retarded Baboon?

Rating: 5/10 (15 May 2004)

Boring, loud, all character removed in favor of bigger special effects which no one has yet to prove actually translate into box office dollars. I'm secure in my masculinity and all, but it's a sad state of affairs when I'm sitting there less than 45 minutes into it, thinking, "Holy crap, these costumes are AWFUL."
Which, y'know, they ARE... sorry dude, that gigantic hat make you look like a mushroom. And don't decorate the front of the Hot Female Lead's corset with little red circular designs... they tend to look like something else.
It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but for the money they spent on it, the producers will burn even lower in Hell than the people who greenlit "From Justin to Kelly." Stephen Sommers had a good start with "The Mummy," but now just covers his lazy butt with as much CGI as humanly possible. And that is the single laziest thing a filmmaker can do. Knock it off.