Plan 9 From Transylvania

Rating: 1/10 (19 May 2004)

Okay, in all fairness, this film doesn't have quite the level of overall badness that made Plan 9 From Outerspace what it was. But it's definitely up there (down there?) with Battlefield Earth.
The special effects in Van Helsing are horribly lacking. The CGI (which is used way too heavily) is over used and LOOKS like CGI. Some of the CGI effects reminded me of Ray Harryhasuen's stop motion creatures from Jason and the Argonauts and the Sinbad movies. (by the way...the special effects in those old films were BETTER than in Van Helsing)
The action isn't really all that exciting. Part of the problem is that overuse of CGI...what's the fun in watching two animated characters doing battle with one another? Add to that just about every movement in the action scenes being telegraphed beforehand and you have a real lack of excitement(oh, look, wonder why those chains are there...gee, he's swinging from another on).
The script is extremely poorly written. When half the theater is laughing at what's obviously intended to be the most poignant scene in the film, it's not a good thing. Especially where they're groaning at all the (attempts at) humor. And what, exactly, killed one character? Heart attack? They even manage to make Dracula into the only really sympathetic character in the film...and I'm not sure Van Helsing isn't a serial killer.
On top of that, EVERY BIT of mythology about vampires and werewolves is completely thrown out the window.
This movie is just beyond bad. The only people who should see this are people who really love bad movies like Plan 9 and Battlefield Earth.