James Bond meets Dr. Eldritch.

Rating: 5/10 (5 May 2004)

It's as if Stephen Sommers wanted to do a Dr. Eldritch movie without violating copyright laws, so he picked a monster hunter in the public domain! But this Van Helsing has received a modern upgrade: He's stylish, supercharged, fast and loud. To make it fair, Sommers has done the same with the monsters he battles (their lumbering counterparts from the 30's wouldn't have stood a chance). Just like James Bond, Van Helsing roams internationally, fights evil, uses specially-designed gadgets from his techo-geek friend, and wins over the voluptuous love-interest, all at a breathless speed. The film hardly pauses for some perfunctory back-story and character development, hurtling from one melee to the next. In keeping with the breakneck pacing and dizzying visuals, the thundering score makes a full-throated `Carmina Burana' sound like an Enya CD. If you love fast, loud, mindless summer movies teeming with CG monsters, this is a film for you! If you can't stand sketchy characters, plot holes, or period anachronisms, you should probably pass on `Van Helsing.'