van smellsing

Rating: 1/10 (8 May 2004)

yes... a childish jab to say the least, but thats all i can summon after seeing this piece of garbage. from the opening sequence I was aware of what I was getting into. i couldnt believe how exponentially more hilarious this movie became from one scene to the next. not in a funny, entertaining way, mind you, i mean in the ashamed, embarrassed kind of way.
i do not get the urge to walk out of movies very often, and yet after twenty minutes I contemplated that every 5 minutes for the rest of the film. i stuck it out though, just because I was intrigued to see how bad it could really get. what a waste of 2 hours of my life. i considered after watching the film that it was an attempt to recreate the corny B-monster flicks of the 50's and 60's. that's the only excuse I can make for it. the formulaic characters, the abysmal dialogue and acting, the over-the-top attempts at drama and suspense, the effects... oh my lord the effects were just horrid!! please save yourself from this experience. wait for it on video, at least you have the opportunity to make it stop.