Van Poop

Rating: Null/10 (19 October 2004)

::spoilers!::
I was so disappointed! I was hoping for a dark, Gothic awesome vampire film and got poop. The beginning was odd but I understood the campiness of it, which, if it had of been maintained throughout the film would have made more sense...I got the humor in the movie but it lacked in a lot of places, and the guy playing Dracula was way too over the top to be Dracula. And what is this Vladislaus stuff? You cannot rewrite and rename precious literature to suit the purposes of a over-the-top Hollywood production. Kate Beckinsale was beautiful and ALMOST did a good acting job. Mostly, it was the HORRIBLE English/Russian/transylvanian(?) accent that killed it. Dialect coach, anyone?
There was so much unexplained, the right-hand-of-God thing, especially. Hugh Jackman was hot hot hot looking like Vampire Hunter D, and brought something to his role, which sadly, no one else did except for Frankenstein.
The CG was AWFUL, the whole thing was a choppy mess just like this review. The only reason why I made it to the end is because I paid good money for that DVD, nothing else held me to it. A poor excuse for a vampire movie. One more thing. That Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde sequence in the beginning was terrible. CG, acting, and for some reason, I don't know, maybe because they were in Notre Dame in France and NOT England I initially thought the guy was the hunchback. And how dare they break the rose window! :)