Bad beyond belief

Rating: 1/10 (8 May 2004)

I have never been a fan of big budget summer blockbusters, but at least a few of them were mindless, fun popcorn movies. I had a reasonable hope that Van Helsing would at least be watchable. After five minutes I knew that it would be a struggle to sit through. Where do I begin? The lousy looking CGI? The terrible plot? The lame script? How about the acting which could not have been worse had it been performed by sock puppets. The "actor" who played Dracula was less frightening than the Count on Sesame Street. Hugh Jackman simply looks like he lost a bet to appear in the film...and the eye candy vampire brides have all the talent of the cast of any Girls Gone Wild DVD you can find. Aren't monsters supposed to be scary? Then someone explain the stupid looking Mr. Hyde at the begining of the movie who looks like a Shrek wannabe...Shrek is more frightening. This is two hours of my life I can never get back.