Van Noying

Rating: 4/10 (24 December 2006)

Pantomime tripe. There, I said it! All those reviewers who say something along the lines of: "Lighten up, it's only a camp romp?" Well, I didn't know that when I sat down to watch it! Why would I? It is sold as a Vampire Horror flick. It wasn't called Carry On Van Helsing was it?
So what do we get? A totally unscary Vampire movie that looks like it had piles of money thrown at it when what it needed was sense and a decent script. Richard Roxburgh's "pantomime" Dracula is dreadful. The CGI stuff is totally unconvincing. "Mr Hyde", for example, changes in size in relation to Van Helsing every time they share a shot. In fact the whole movie is like a badly drawn cartoon.