Sommers oversteps his boundaries

Rating: 2/10 (8 April 2006)

Van Helsing is called upon by the Vatican to kill Count Dracula. Along the way he meets Frankenstein's monster and other assorted critters in a big old homage to every single "Monster A" meets "Monster B" movie ever made.
The problem is, when the wolfman met the mummy, it was a B-movie back then and it's a B-movie now. Add to that the fact that Stephen Sommers is not a very good director and an even worse writer and what you have is a story that would struggle to make it as a comic book much less as a feature-length movie.
All throughout this misadventure into stupidity, Sommers tries to imbue his characters with personality and the story with some meaning. He fails on both counts. He wants to entertain us (I'm assuming) but instead winds up wasting about two hours of our time.
Hugh Jackman does his best, but every line he is given is such a clunker that no matter how much you want to like him or his character, you just can't. Kate Beckinsale once again proves why she should never be allowed in front of a camera - every time she lays that horrible accent on us, you just want Dracula to rip her throat open so we can be done with her.
Except that if he did, she'd turn into one of those hideous CGI critters that someone, somewhere mistakenly thought would be a good idea.
This movie is a convoluted, idiotic mess designed to sell toys and rip our movie-going dollars from our pockets. Don't waste your time.