Lighten up, kick back, and enjoy yourself!

Rating: 10/10 (8 May 2004)

Something I seriously dig about Stephen Sommers: He's honest as a director and a writer. In THE MUMMY RETURNS, Sommers dressed Brendan Fraiser in a leather jacket and Fedora as a response to critics of THE MUMMY that said Fraiser and Sommers were trying to be Indiana Jones. When he made THE SCORPION KING with WWF sensation, The Rock, over half the film included brawling or one-on-one fighting of some kind. So with VAN HELSING, Sommers opens the film with an angry mob wielding pitchforks and torches. The first spoken dialogue: "It's alive! ALIVE!" And finally, it's shot in black and white.
Come on, folks, if you don't know EXACTLY what kind of movie you are about to get, then you are expecting way too much from VAN HELSING.
This movie does not disappoint. It delivers exactly what it promises: a monster mash! Dracula. The Wolfman. Frankenstein. Igor. This is a "Who's Who" of movie monsters, and while a story featuring so many Hollywood heavy-hitters could come across being contrived, Sommers cleverly works it all out in a tight little story. Unlike HELLBOY which had so many plot holes (provided you could figure out where they were going with it) you could drive a battering ram through them, VAN HELSING unfolds the plot layer by layer and then takes you on a massive roller coaster ride with everyone hanging on for dear life. This movie will make you jump, it will make you laugh, and if you're not careful, it might put a lump in your throat.
But Sommers, while doing all this, is being VERY HONEST as he does all this. Much in the same way PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN did not think itself anything other than a pirate movie based on a them park ride, VAN HELSING does not try to be anything else other than what it is at its core: a salute to monster movies. And not the over-the-top-gorefests like David Cronenberg's THE FLY, John Carpenter's THE THING, or any NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET offering...Sommer's salute are to the classics from Karloff, Chaney (Lon, not Dick), and Legosi. There are also some nostalgic salutes to the classic Hammer House Films that featured Price, Lee (Christopher, not Bruce), and Cushing. There is even a little nod to James Bond. And while all this is going on, Sommers adds in dialog at the beginning of the film that clues you in...
Igor (to Dr. Frankenstein): Master...you have been so very good to me, you have been so very kind...(points to Dracula) but HE pays me.
This is your clue that this movie should not be taken seriously.
VAN HELSING is coming under a lot of fire from both critics, moviegoers, IMDB users all screaming "it lacks originality" or "it's a mindless mess of special effects." These are people who are approaching this film as you would approach Kenneth Branagh's FRANKENSTEIN or Francis Ford Coppola's DRACULA . Approach VAN HELSING like that, and yes, you'll be sorely disappointed. Approach VAN HELSING as you would ARMY OF DARKNESS or BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, and you'll have a ball. Let MATRIX:RELOADED/REVOLUTIONS and HULK try to be important, poignant, and meaningful...VAN HELSING is a monster movie... ...and it's having a great time being one!