***SPOILERS*********** (not that it matters)

Rating: 1/10 (19 April 2005)

I cannot urge viewers strongly enough to avoid this movie. I just wanted summer fun and classic Universal monsters, and I didn't even get that. This is a terrible movie at every level a movie can be bad. The plot is inexplicable. Dracula needs Frankenstein's body to reproduce his hybrid miniature vampire spawn which makes you wonder how vampires survived until Frankenstein was made. Jackman goes through every scene with his eyebrow cocked like this is a James Bond audition, managing to fight a variety of creatures without mussing his carefully maintained haircut. Richard Roxborough conjures up the spirit of Count Chocula in the worst Dracula performance I've ever seen, and I include the Andy Warhols, and the Spanish versions in the 70's. Frankenstein's monster spends the whole movie as the damsel in distress. The Wolf man has no characterization whatsoever. The CGI is so bad, they would have been off simply using animation. This movie is so bad, one begins to wonder if this film's financing should have simply been used to feed the hungry in some developing country instead of this forgettable waste of celluloid. Loathsome.