Tom Cruise With an Eye Patch - Nothing Can Save This Horrible Movie

Rating: 3/10 (3 January 2009)

I haven't even finished watching it, and I can tell you from a lifetime of watching great and ugly movies that this is truly a waste of talent. I love history, but I think that most of us have moved beyond Hitler. He didn't win, and has been cast in a most unfavorable light. I would have done much the same as him, except for going after the Jews and attacking Russia. And letting 300,000 captive British soldiers go. And using the Messerschmidt for bombing rather than combat. Hitler was a doomed cadaver, but not without his talents. The people who made this film have a heavy cross to bear. Nazi war memorials in 2009 are akin to black-face and Al Jolson. Some things belong in the past. This narrow view of European history is farcical. I loved Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut and The Last Samurai, but those were both seamless classic movies that move the heart and imagination. This is a piece of turd, truly. Branagh does not save it, nor does Tom running around in an eye patch. Hitler looks like a dwarf. In reality he was 5'11" to Tom's 5'7", and yet he is made to look like a diminutive lizard cowering beneath the towering Tom Cruise. It is a joke. And the people who made this terrible movie cannot be excused. This was bad timing. The costumes and historicity are fine, but everything else is bland to typical. Had they even gone the Mel Gibson route and chosen only no-name or no-fame actors to make you believe the roles more readily, this still fails from a filmic point of view let alone an artistic. What makes it worse is that some little zipper-head with a camera filmed it in a movie house and Shylocked my friend for $2.00, The real scam is paying full theater price to see this dustbin of a flick. A waste of time. It belongs under the M3 in exchange for the original Wicker Man footage. Bring back Stanley Kubrick and keep us from movies like this, please.