V is for Vapid

Rating: 3/10 (9 October 2006)

There's a whole lot of talking going on here, pontificating, and posturing. This is an action movie that wants to be overly dramatic and high brow...I suppose there's nothing inherently wrong with those aspirations, it's just the film should have worried about that AFTER it was entertaining.
One of the reasons the film dragged so much for me was that V wears a mask. Darth Vader wore a mask, and he was a great villain, but he didn't go on in every scene wanking on and on about what was bugging him and why it should bug you too...no...no...he was out there blowing up things and getting upset about losing the Death Star plans. He was easy to understand, whereas V is a chatty Cathy whose eyes we can't see, whose face is hidden from view...it's a bit of a disconnect. It's easy to understand what he's mad about, it's also impossible to understand why he just won't shut up and do something about it.
Portman's accent was distracting, and that's being kind. The world has gotten so small, if looking for a British actress, get one for crying out loud - it's not like they're hard to find. Same goes when casting American roles, please - enough of Colin Farrel and his bogus American accent - that has nothing to do with Vendetta, but while I was on the subject.
The film looks beautiful, it looks like it should be exciting...but at the end of the day, it was a chatter fest with a few explosions. Before anyone gets on a high horse about how a chatter fest can unearth some important ideas...this one digs up one or two childishly simple ideas up and proceeds to beat them into dust before your very weary eyes.
It's easy to see how one would want to take the book, and paste it's story over current events in an effort to make a statement. But most statements worth listening to aren't cut and paste - they're tailor made from the fabric of frustration. This is cut and past and bent and ripped CAUSING frustration.
The fact is that this film's over simplification of problems and trying to tie it into real world events is simple minded and irresponsible.
I wanted to drop a safe on V's head...just for a few laughs. You will too.