Crapfest 2006 Or: Why We Should Raise Our Standards as an Audience

Rating: 2/10 (18 March 2006)

This movie is a complete waste of time.
The writing is absurd, the characters are not characters, they exist solely to further the plot. They come and go as are necessary for the exposition of whichever particular scene they happen to be in at the time.
The film is dialogue driven, and perhaps that sort of writing can be handled in a book, but the execution doesn't seem to come off well at all. I hear a string of words that are supposed to sound like intellectual ideas but all I hear is nonsense.
Examples of how you will actually lose brain-cells during the course of the film (IMDB doesn't even lie, just click on Quotes and see all the fun in store for you):
Eve: You're getting back at them for what they did to you. V:What was done to me was monstrous. Eve: Then they created a monster.
Sutler: (V has just blown up Parliament) Gentlemen, I want this terrorist found... and I want him to understand what *terror* really means.
Creedy: (Creedy and a dozen policemen have V cornered in an alley) Kill 'im. (They empty a hail of bullets at V) V: *My* turn. (Kills a policeman with a pair of throwing knives)
-Seriously, people. Seriously.-
how come all i can think of when i hear this kind of dialogue is:
Judge Dredd: I am the law! Put down your weapons and prepare to be judged. Block Warlord: Judge this!
All Natalie Portman does is wander around and ask questions so that the other characters can fill her in on the events and why these events should be important to her/us. She's Neo, w/ less hair and more hot. That being said, she's boring, she's not a character, but that's okay, nobody else is either.
V: vengeancepseudointellectualhighschoolphilosophy Natalie Portman: Why? V: Becauseblahblahblahblah Natlie Portman: How? V: Easyblahblahblahblahblahbadcharacterexpositionblahblahblah Natlie Portman: What?
We goto these movies because we have low standards and we see exactly what we expect to see, was anyone really surprised by ANYTHING in this film? At the end, did you think Stephen Rea was going to shoot Natalie Portman and stop the bombs from going off? Or did you look at your watch, realize you'd been there for an hour and thirty minutes, prep yourself for the explosion you knew was coming (you know the really, REALLY, BIG, BADASS one), and then just watch the same crap you've been seeing ever since Hollywood learned how to distill 100% pure ape-poo.
oh and by the way, all of these clever political undertones? I think that the idea of a violent revolutionary inspiring a massive non-violent passive revolution is ludicrous. Anyone could make a film like this and have little funny things included that will make it seem relevant in our clichéd post-9/11 obsessed crazy town mentality. didn't the actual government already milk enough money out of this? i guess now it's Hollywood's turn to hump the dead horse.
Pirate this film.
-cecil