Nat Portman and the ridiculous accent.....

Rating: 3/10 (19 March 2006)

V for Vendetta! The most important addition to the kingdom of movieland this year, without doubt! The reason for this is simple. After watching this movie, no film maker can ever again have an excuse for monumentally cocking up a project as all that film makers now need to do is DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING THIS FILM DOES!!!! On no, and i mean no conceivable level does this picture work! Evey aspect from tone (did it want to be funny or was it just that woeful that i laughed when i shouldn't have?), dialogue (at times made gigli look like a Woody Allen film), casting (what the hell was Steven 'Twinings Tea' Fry doing there!) and the sound/editing (i was half expecting a special thanks credit for Michael Bay at the end!)was completely confused, inappropriate and totally void of any vision or decipherable skill.
Now i love Natalie Portman, those adorable ringlets in Sith and a career enhancing performance in Garden State have endeared me to her in recent years in a way i can't describe, but this, quite frankly came across like something she had been forced to do through losing a bet or something! And what the hell was that accent about, when are you Americans going to learn that Brits don't speak like that!!!! My biggest qualm with the flick however, has to be that damn mask!! Surely, even film makers of the disability of the wachowski's are aware that it is usually helpful if your movie's main character is capable of showing some facial expression at certain points of the film!! Never showing V's face completely detracts from any emotional hook the movie might have had and the scene where V 'cries' near the end is absolutely hilarious because of this. Couple that factor with an 'antagonist' that not only wastes one of our best actors in John Hurt but also provides no conflict for our hero for the whole duration of the film and you have a piece that evoked in me the feeling that i had been physically mugged of my admission fee by those cross dressing one hit wonder wachowski's and left for dead while they laughed their overblown fight sequence making heads off!!! I call upon all lovers of the beautiful art that is cinema to start a vendetta of our own against them at once and rid the world of such passionless drivel!!!! Al