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Rating: 3/10 (5 April 2019)

I can't. I don't have the words. It...wasn't very good. It wasn't fun to watch. I so wanted this movie to be great, but it just wasn't. It tries so hard to be clever and cute, but it ultimately makes a fool of itself with its incomplete story lines, plot holes, and predictability. Yes, the ending was predictable, I figured it out long before it concluded and that's when I came to the conclusion that this film lacks natural fluidity, it was slow, forced, and inorganic. The movie read as if someone sat somewhere in a studio and said, "I want to make a movie with X, Y, and Z elements, with W twist, and everyone is gonna be like, 'Wow, Jordan Peele, you're movie was really cool and thought provoking,'" instead of just being naturally good.
This movie had (key word, HAD) tons of potential, but the finished product just doesn't deliver.
Some positives: amazing shots, pretty good acting (I could do without about 90% of the comic relief), fantastic set design, but this is a movie better suited for the home and not for the theatre.