Dark, depressing and boring. Up is a Downer!

Rating: 5/10 (19 August 2009)

The only reason I give this is a 5 is because the short (Partly Cloudy) that preceded "UP" is immensely enjoyable. It is also the highlight of the whole experience.
Up starts with a seemingly cheerful and cute story of boy meets girl. Unbelievably that lasts an entire 5 minutes! Cute story comes to a tragic conclusion and we're left watching a grumpy old man and a retarded fat kid for the rest of this saccharine-infused drudgery.
The funny parts aren't that funny. The bird isn't funny, the dogs aren't, and the retarded kid certainly isn't. One gets smiles, but no belly laughs. Bad guy isn't bad enough. The tension is telegraphed and insipid. The only laughs I heard in the cinema, after the brilliant initial short, came from a 3 year old in front of me, and it was seldom at that. Her bigger sister wasn't laughing. And for anyone older than 5, their brains must seriously be challenged to think any of it more than mildly amusing.
After the hype and the obviously mindless appreciation shown by so many reviewers everywhere, I thought it was time someone set the record straight.
Where's the excitement of The Incredibles, the dialogue of Finding Nemo or the warped humour of Monsters Inc.? Absolutely nowhere to be seen, sadly!