Henry and Greta talk about Underworld: awakening

Rating: 6/10 (29 April 2013)

"You know I hesitate to say it, but Kate Beckinsale is a really cool chick. I mean I wished she jumped right into my bed, even with those heavy boots and that figure hugging suit. Lucky she found them back after she was blown to smithereens and revived in that laboratory. Although she would have been naked without them. Oh god I could device so ways to relieve them of her." Henry grinned. He twirled the DVD of the movie in his left hand.
"I thought we were going to keep this pg rated?" Greta quipped. She knocked the DVD out of his hand and send it flying.
"She just looks jummy in that suit, even after all these years.. I wished I could have.... Awww." Henry groaned loudly because Greta had just booted him in the shin.
"You like them boots?" Greta grinned evilly, pointing at her worn combat boots. The kind that were cool in the eighties.
"Gosh, that hurts." Henry rubbed his leg.
"Pity they left out that cute guy.. what was his name?"
"Scott Speedman?"
"Yes. That one vampire guy hasn't much of role. Nor that black police dude. And that kid. I really don't like kids in action movies. This one can't quite decide to be a hostage or some kind of remake from a Japanese horror movie. If you have to have kids in a movie, make them quiet and don't turn them into monsters!"
"With the kid there would be no reason for Kate to go and shoot up everyone. And how she kills. Like she jumps and somersaults all over the place. And some moments are really cool. Like that elevator scene where she blasts a hole in the bottom of the elevator so as not to be swatted by it when it rushes down. That one is priceless. Look how sexy she looks in that scene."
"I wished Stephen Rea had a better part in it. I liked him in V for Vendetta, but here he seems a bit lost. And him turning into a what? Was that a werewolf hit by baldness?" Greta mused.
"He did look a bit out of place. But overall I think it's a fun movie with lot's of shooting and action, and Kate Beckinsale jumping around killing hordes of people and Lycans."
"I think the werewolves - Lycans -are getting a bit threadbare. I wonder how long they keep on being interesting. "
"Well, they did add that huge one. It was evil how he tossed those cars about and hunted Kate down. That part where he corners her in a booth is funny. Grawww." Henry snarled loudly, making Greta jump.
"It's not actually not Kate, but Selene." Greta corrected, "Kate Beckinsale is the name of the actress, Selene is the name of the part she plays."
"I don't think it really matters. She might as well be Kate. Without her it would be a boring mindless slaughterfest."
"You really like her that much, Henry?"
"I sure do. I am going to start a campaign with the express purpose to get Kate to do all the next underworld movies wearing a tight PVC suit and boots, but with a wider range of guns and weapons."
"Did you say you were going to wear a tight PVC suit?! That I want to see!"
"Very funny, Greta."
"I wouldn't be surprised if you get your wish fulfilled. Although the next director might be called Uwe Boll."
"Uwe who?"
"Uwe Boll. I think he is considered the worst director currently alive."
"Well.. it doesn't really matter who directs it as long as Kate is in it wearing a tight suit killing lots and lots of Lycans in various ways." Henry shouted happily.
"And to hell with the story and the directing.." Greta whispered.