A movie with few physical rules = pure garbage

Rating: 1/10 (30 January 2013)

This was the first and only Underworld I have seen. Even though the movie was only 88 minutes or so I found myself itching to leave before it ended. I also found myself commenting on the stupidity of this movie outloud in the theater - something I rarely do.
Apparently the unlikable vampire heroine, played by Kate Beckinsale, has no physical limits. She's stronger than Superman, faster than Flash, more agile than Spiderman and she can fly. Why are we watching? We know she can tear apart an endless stream of gigantic werewolves (called Lycans here, not that clever) with ease. And she can outgun any paramilitary police force no matter how much manpower, armor or artillery they have.
On top of all her superpowers, she has these magic pistols that never run out of ammo. She must have taken hundreds of thousands of rapid-fire shots with these wonderful weapons. I wondered, again outloud, "She obviously cannot be killed or defeated with all her superduper powers, and she gets the most amazingly powerful and concealable weapons on top of that. Wow! Can I be you, Kate Beckinsale?" And, "Who wrote this crap, a retarded, future psychotic, five-year-old?" My sincere apologies go to the retarded, future psychotic, five-year-olds out there.
The 3D effects were good, but the novelty wears off fast. The film-makers seem to realize that because, about halfway through, they barely bothered to continue the effects. By the way, I did not leave early because I was with a person who seemed to enjoy the movie; so maybe you'll like this @&%*!. One star.