Underwhelmed

Rating: Null/10 (14 October 2003)

Despite its vampire-'n'-werewolf content, "Underworld" isn't a horror movie, but an action/terror movie. Almost nonstop gun battles between the hunters (vampires) and the hunted (werewolves), who are about to turn the tables with a bit of insider help. For semi-coherent reasons, a young male human becomes a pawn in the war between bloodsuckers and shapeshifters.
As usual, almost nothing crosses over to the screen from actual folklore. Folkloric vampires are NOT destroyed or harmed by sunlight -- not literally much of an issue here, since almost the whole story takes place at night, though the werewolves have managed to get their paws on some ammo that fires an ultraviolet charge ("liquid sunlight"). Folkloric lycanthropy is NOT contagious by the bite. Folkloric vampires and werewolves are NOT social creatures who form "covens" or travel in packs. And the very premise of an ethnic war between vampires and werewolves is inauthentic. The two "species" are NOT anything like now-and-forever separate: in certain folklores, werewolves BECOME vampires after death, and vampires can transform into wolves.
All that having been said, what works? Good atmosphere: lots of darkness, rain, and subterranean locations. Good art design, ranging from the sets and locations to the props, weapons, and costumes. Good action and FX, and the pace generally keeps moving. Good cast, though none of them seem to be enjoying themselves.
What doesn't work? It's all very grim and solemn, and not very much fun. Kate Beckinsdale as Selene (basically Buffy the Werewolf Slayer) is admirably intense, focused, loyal, and fearless: like everybody else in the movie, she's formidable, but not likeable. We have nobody to root for: there are so many double-crosses and betrayals -- and, during the gun battles, both sides, clad in black, look so much alike -- that it's hard to ward off confusion after awhile, not to mention apathy.

A good dose of clever dark humor would have helped this movie a lot. But ultimately, all the characters take themselves SO seriously that it's like being a captive audience at a Goth party. This is how the Goths of my acquaintance view themselves -- sleek, sexy, and dangerous -- instead of as the chubby, pasty losers they are.