Dracula vs. the Wolf Man by committee

Rating: 6/10 (19 February 2004)

In the opening moments of this film we get a voice over narration by Selene played by Kate Beckinsale. It's a nice looking well photographed scene, and it grabs are attention. Unfortunately, in this opening monologue, we also get a lot of vague mumble jumbo attempting to explain who Selene is, what she's doing and why. By the time the narration is finished we don't have anymore of a clue as to what's going on then we did as we entered the theater. And that as just about how it goes for the entire length of Underworld.
Don't fret though, eventually you'll discover through a certain amount of diligence that this is the story about the Vampires and the Lycans, or werewolves if you will. Think Dracula vs. the Wolf Man by committee and you pretty much have the picture. We also know that the Vampires have spent years trying to do in the Lycans and have been quite successful at it. It seems that Selene discovers the Lycans are after a certain human named Michael Corvin(Scott Speedman). They need to mix his blood with theirs for reasons that are never quite clear. It also turns out that after tracking down Michael on her own, Selene finds herself attracted to him. We know this only because of the way the plot develops, not because of any kind of emotional response offered by Selene. Of course she is a vampire and chances are she isn't supposed to have any romantic notions, but if she doesn't have any emotions....well, I don't want to convolute an already polluted film any more than it is.
There's also a lot of other stories told to us during Underworld. There are more monologues in this film explaining background and motives than any film in recent memory. My best advice to you is if you watch this film, be prepared to draw a chart as these many explanations are rattled off because you'll sure need one. There's a story about why and how Selene became a vampire, there's a story about why Michael is being hunted by the Lycans, there's a story about why two vampire leaders sleep for years and only one is awakened at a time, there's a story about why bullets are taken out of the Lycans and put back in. After a while I felt like I should go to the book store and buy the Cliff Notes. There are so many stories and so many explanations, and most of them are so convoluted and long winded that it's impossible to follow this film without being overcome by long periods of boredom.
A lot of what is on the screen looks good. The battle scenes between the Lycans and the Vampires are all well done and interesting to look at. The sets are adequately foreboding and photographed in the kind of prevalent bluish haze that seems to have overtaken the film world in the last few years. We do look at the battle and attack scenes in a passive kind of way because Underworld has complicated it's plot and background to an extent that we really don't care about who the good guys are or the bad guys are or whatever. We are never given a chance to be drawn into this story and none of the performances here help. I don't care if this is a film about the supernatural, there is not one performance in this film that is more than one note. Beckinsale certainly looks OK in her leather outfit, and she performs the action scenes well enough, but does nothing at any point to make us care about her or help draw us into her story. Speedman's human character of Michael is no better. We don't feel any sympathy, fear, or anything about him because after two hours you won't know him as a person any better than you did when he makes his first appearance.

If you take the time to watch Underworld, you might appreciate the action scenes, the dark settings, and several scenes of modern day werewolves and vampires battling it out. As for myself I've only got one thing to ask, "Where's my copy of Dracula vs. The Wolf Man?"
My Grade: C-