"Underwhelming" is more like it

Rating: Null/10 (14 March 2004)

"The Matrix" features a half-baked science fiction premise that's only there to provide a framework to hang a lot of completely insane action upon. "Underworld" is much the same thing, though it's a thin horror premise that's even less baked than "Matrix" -- and given that "Matrix" came first, "Underworld" suffers from the added burden of drawing comparison to a better film.
First off, Len Wiseman's not a very good action director. A story revolving around vampires and werewolves is going to necessarily take place largely at night -- but is it EVER daytime in this movie? An occasional little light on the subject would have worked wonders.
Second, if you're going to use vamps and "lycans," then how about...oh, I don't know...ACTUALLY USING THEM? Who on Earth goes to a movie about monsters to see them having gun battles (none of which, BTW, is apparently ever investigated by law enforcement, no matter how public and noisy they are)? If memory serves, there were a total of 2 werewolf transformations in this movie, and it was the same character both times. Even the leader of the werewolf clan never got to show his stuff.
Kate Beckinsale provides some sexy eye candy (even if her entire outfit is "borrowed" from Trinity of "Matrix"), but her character's extremely underwritten. She's a vampire, but we only see her using her fangs once -- and that's to SAVE the life of a character. Does she have no bloodthirst? Do any of the vampires?
There's a bit in "Matrix Reloaded" where the character Persephone explains that ghosts and monsters are rogue subroutines in the Matrix. If you think of everything in "Underworld" as happening inside the Matrix, it helps to explain some of the incredible lapses in logic. But really, you're better off not thinking about it all.