Burn your money instead of giving it to this !!!

Rating: 2/10 (25 October 2003)

Ugh...I've seen this movie in the cinema yesterday and I still feel dirty. The first thing that went through my mind when the end credits rolled was: suckfest !! I'll stick to that thought...TOTAL suckfest !

You have to know, I'm a real sucker for werewolves and I've been waiting since so long for a new good movie about them reaches the theaters. Ginger Snaps and Dog Soldiers were decent films but they never made it to the big screen ( at least not here ). So, Underworld contains the first cinema-werewolves since ages but it's pure crap. The best way to describe Underworld is : Blade meets The Matrix with a slice of The Hulk near the end. In other words, this means : too loud, way too much over the top and far from original ( although it pretends to be very original ). I may be a very old-fashioned person when it comes to matters like this but in my humble opinion werewolves and vampires are ancient, mythical creatures with a long history behind them already. Showing these icons as futuristic, multi-armed warriors is despicable and can be described by one single word : BLASPHEMY !!
I guess we can point our finger to "director" Len Wiseman...Not in ONE part of this movie, this guy proves that he surpasses the level of an average videoclip director. The entire finished product looks like a publicity stunt for MTV or something and above that, Wiseman seems to be proud of that. Oh well, I guess he was to busy thinking about going to bed with Kate Beckinsale instead of filming a good movie. Speaking of which, I honestly have to say I never heard of Kate before this film. That's not a surprise actually, since she starred in Pearl Harbor before this and I'm trying to avoid that movie as much as I'm trying to avoid Leprosy ! The rest of the cast is not worth a mention...I only liked Lucian ( the über-Lycan ) up till a certain level.
I'm really annoyed by the plot idea of this movie. In case you don't know: Underworld tells the story of a war that is going on between Vampires and Werewolves for centuries already. Although Wiseman claims it to be creative and innovating, it falls into the same old cliché ***SPOILERS*** the origin of the war was a passionate matter ***END SPOILER**** ... I hate people who claim to be original while they're in fact telling the same old story in another form ! And here's another provoking aspect : why are, during the whole movie, werewolves shown as the inferior species ?? Correct me if I'm wrong, but in this movie the vampires are merely shown as lazy and irritating creatures while the "lycans" are far more motivated and dedicated ! Is it because the star herself is a bloodsucker, perhaps ?

No, all together, it may look promising and fascinating if you're a 13 year old pimpled horror freak with giant braces in your mouth ( no offense if you are, by the way ) but if you're a bit of a traditional horror fan, this movie will leave you behind with an empty feeling.