All Style, No Substance!

Rating: 5/10 (19 September 2003)

First time director Len Wiseman definitely knows how to make a good looking movie, but not much else. Mr. Wiseman has nailed down the look that is evident is most of today's vampire movies: dark, grainy, gothic, leathery, bluish hued skin and RAIN! Lots and lots of RAIN. Most annoyingly, outside of the terrible overacting of Shane Brolly as Craven (he espouses anger in EVERY look and in EVERY word he utters) and the stoic, zombie-like acting of Kate Beckinsale is the director's use of DOORS! Every damn scene of this movie either starts or ends (and sometimes both)with someone slamming open/closing a door, or gate. My guess is that doors must swing to and fro over 100 times in this movie. This must have been the editor's first movie and asked the director to use the doors as cues for his cuts. Once I pointed this out to my friend, he couldn't stop laughing every time a door swung.
The plot is pretty thin and close to being stupid. Plot spoiler follows: Why would the leader of the vampires and the werewolves want to create a mixed, super breed of half vampire, half wolf? The new super wolfpire would surely doom the vampires and werewolves to extinction. Secondly, we are continuously told that the vampires defeated the werewolves and pushed THEM to the edge of extinction. Yet, except for the finale, every fight between vampires and werewolves is dominated by the werewolves.

So if you just want to have a good laugh and watch a stylish vampire flick, "Underworld" is for you. But if your looking for a crafty, fast beat, well directed movie (e.i. "Blade II"), it ain't this one. You'll be bored to death and you'll learn to HATE DOORS!