I was in tears laughing at this flick.

Rating: Null/10 (23 September 2003)

I haven't laughed that hard in a movie in my life. Not even in a comedy. I love a loverly smoooth piece of cinematic cheese and this is absolutely it: Here are my favorite highlights:
-Why, after "the better part of a thousand years" of combat is Celine such a CRAPTASTIC shot? She'll be close enough to hock a loogie on someone and miss them entirely. I totally got that scene where she shoots a circle on the floor and falls through. Best not to waste any bullets shooting at a target of any kind.
-Why do the werewolves have to get buck naked to fight anyone? You would think after a millenium of knucklin' up someone would have discovered sweatpants or at least boxer briefs.
My absolute, hands-down FAVORITE cheesy aspect of the movie was the "cracked out peter pan" landings from high places. When speedman jumped out of a window, got "that wolfie feeling" in midair, and landed smoothly, was crying.
I'll concede to some plot points I found plausible: I'm not sweating celine's gear: If you live long enough and your financial planner happens to be a vampire you accumulate a nice stack of cash. If they can produce futuristic weaponry, I'm sure she can make the odd trip to paris for slinky fetish gear.
Viktor didn't really become plausible to me until he smoked that werewolf with his bare hands. Then I was like "yep, he's the leader." That Highlander-esque tendency to pull his sword out of apparently nowhere did crack me up though.
I'm sure we all agree this movie was silly, but it was kind of silly that requires the snide attention of a Mystery Science Theater Episode. I would totally see it again, if for no reason than the knee slapping hilarity of it. I swear the theater was cranking the music extra loud to drown out the laughter.
The ending was totally setting up for a sequel that I was fairly certain wasn't going to happen. The money coming it may make the sequel a possibility.