Mel Brooks does Das Boot

Rating: 3/10 (22 July 2001)

This movie is another one in a long line of pro-U.S. war films. You know the kind. Those are the films where north american soldiers are the only ones capable of any wit, wisdom, intelligence and courage.
Unfortunately, by now the rest of the world is a bit brighter, and we know that, really, Ben Affleck didn't save Great Britain from the Germans. There is an undeniable and deep love and respect for all veterans and U.S. soldiers that lost their lives in Europe during both World Wars from the rest of the world, the kind of respect that only comes from defending an ideal with their lives. It's Hollywood who is keen on destroying those heroes' reputation by making them seem so superior as to be ridiculous.
In summary, this film is a parody of the amazing "Das Boot". It's quite obvious that the same things will happen in any submarine: depth charges, marine battles, etc. But U-571 makes everything seem sweet: there is no claustrophobia, the crew gets along pretty well, they kill every german in sight, and even a destroyer. Das Boot shows a destroyed boat, terribly strained relationships, a sense of quiet desperation and resignation. Where U-571 plays glorious fanfare, Das Boot counters with powerful silence. Where Das Boot puts grime, U-571 substitutes pretty faces. Where Das Boot has realism, U-571 doesn't.
But most insulting of all, where englishmen should have been, U-571 cleverly substitutes them with U.S. soldiers. Oh, the nerve.
Bottom line: this movie makes for a great surround sound demo disc, or a nice coaster. Hollywood is still clueless when it comes to making war movies. If a future historian only had U.S. war movies to base history upon, he would decidedly declare the rest of the world sub-human idiots, and the U.S. civilization as a more evolved race.
A theory Hollywood debunks quite nicely.