"Das Boot Light" at Best

Rating: 2/10 (22 April 2000)

(moot warning: this comment might reveal plot details on a predictable film)

U-571 was a disappointment, especially for a big fan of Wolfgang Petersen's "Das Boot". Basically, the plot is as ludicrous as it was fictional. It should serve as a warning to future directors never to make a one-sided propaganda 'war hero' movie ever again.
Negatives: (1) The plot is entirely in terms of Good and Evil. The 'Nazis' who originally commanded the U-571 are shown in one scene mowing down a boatload of shipwrecked helpless people ONLY to establish that they are Bad and deserve to be massacred later on by the Americans. The Americans, on the other hand, are all heroic patriots who are willing (like Trigger) to die for their country. And like Spielberg's mistake "Saving Private Ryan", the one German who the Americans save is the film's Benedict Arnold figure. "U-571" very much resembles old WWII era propaganda films in that respect.
(2) The plot is risible. In an early scene, the American sub is completely blown out of the water (twice) by one measly torpedo. And then there's the whole idea of 6-8 Americans mastering the control (passive sonar, engine room, etc) of an Unterseeboot, diving, shooting multiple torpedoes at and destroying another submarine without a skipper in a matter of minutes. THEN there's the scene where they pop up in front of the German destroyer and shoot a torpedo at it. Considering the destroyer is charging at the sub guns blazing its incredible that they survived long enough to get a shot off. Not only does the torpedo hit the oncoming frontal-profile destroyer, but it literally vaporizes the entire frickin' ship. The destroyer must have either been an oil tanker carrying liquid hydrogen in disguise or the U571 was equipped with nuclear torpedoes. In either case, I missed an important plot development.
(3) In terms of technical artistry and approprietness, this film is really pathetic. The creaks and groans and pops that are so awesome in "Das Boot" don't start until the U571 goes below 200 meters. The director, who seems to just imitate Petersen's film (Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery aside), just doesn't capture the tense atmosphere and claustrophobia. The omnipresent, bland, vaguely patriotic theme music doesn't even come close to Klaus Doldinger's excellent soundtrack for "Das Boot".
(4) Predictable. This goes along with (1); obviously the Good heroes don't die, they kill all the Bad Guys, and save the world etc.
(5) Dedicating the film to the men who 'risked their lives' to get the Enigma machines is, bluntly, stupid. Most of the Enigma coders were not obtained in ludicrous commando raids (big surprise!), but usually were taken when a U-boot emergency surfaced and was intercepted by a BRITISH destroyer before the skipper destroyed the books and scuttled the ship.
Positives: (1) Decent acting and cast.
(2) Spectacular sfx, which, though not appropriate (ie. destroyer going up like the Hindenburg), are good eye candy. Technical aspect aside though, all the explosions just make the movie cheesy.
In all, a pretty pathetic movie next to "Das Boot". The director shouldn't have even attempted it. For the viewer, only see it if you want to satisfy your curiosity.