It's Our Favorite Nudist!

Rating: 10/10 (27 April 2000)

DISCLAIMER: The comment labeled "Great!!!" wasn't mine. I let my sister use my IMDB User Name until she gets her own. Her views do not reflect mine. PLUS SPOILERS!
I don't know what Hollywood has against Great Britain. I don't see why they felt the need to make a joke about the British-Polish attempt and success of capturing an Enigma decoder from the crippled U-110. I guess it is because they feel a movie depicting British heroes won't fare well in the US. BUT AMERICANS AREN'T LIKE THAT! The James Bond movies do better in America than in any other country! Considering that in the post-Cold War ones that America was only mentioned several times, we can accept non-American heroes. Anyway, I couldn't care about this movie. We have some American guys who don't have any real names (Did They?) and no personality. Since Britain is obviously so incompetent that they crippled under the blitzkrieg of London and let the Bismarck slip right through their butter fingers,Americans need to rescue the Brits. In case you aren't aware of WWII, Churchill gave his "We'll fight them in the streets and landing grounds to the last man" speech during the heigh of London's firebombing. British Admiralty also coordinated the destruction of the super-battleship Bismarck, no help from us. For Christ's sake, I half-expected to see Churchill about to be forced to walk the plank before Superman, errr, Uncle Sam lept to the rescue. Anyway, I didn't care anything about the characters, who either give new definition to "paper cutout" or strongly reinforce the existing one. Eric Palladino, Dr. Dave from ER, exists only to get killed and look heroicly doing so. The black guy was there only to appeal to minorities. His most memorable line is "Drop it you Nazi son of a b*tch!". Keitel did a good job, acting like another uninteresting person. The only person I found interesting was Coonan, who suddenly disappears for no reason. Oh yeah, that Wentz guy. He could speak German, that's the only reason I remember him. Oh yeah, and we have our favorite nudist playing the commander of this pathetic crew. The explosions (There are lots of them!) are first and so is sound. If you want to kill a few hours, I'd recommend this. But for real heroism on the high seas, watch SINK THE BISMARCK or HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER. Note: I'm entertaining a career as a filmmaker, and I'm planning to direct a GOOD Batman movie (That was meant as an insult for the post-Burton ones!) and a remake of SINK THE BISMARCK. Chao!