Best Worst Submarine Movie.

Rating: 5/10 (17 January 2008)

With all of the new advances in sound and visual technology, there was ample scope for a truly authentic, modern American re-make of the classic 'submarine movie' of the 1950's and 60's. And heaven knows, it doesn't require much study to realise that Yank submariners played a huge part in the war. The Pacific war, that is - not the Atlantic. There were some tremendous daring-do escapades with memorable victories. In fact, I understand that the American fleet was the most successful submarine fleet of the war, with also fewer casualties per unit vessel. They accounted for over half of all Japanese maritime losses.
Movie-makers don't need to invent heroes and scenarios then; they are already spoilt for choice.
So why this? Why a completely fictitious movie not only about an event that didn't happen, but a travesty of true naval history? I believe it is generally agreed that the 'enigma' capture was a British success. The Yanks weren't even there. Moreover when Britain began supplying the USA with intelligence intercepts garnered from its application, they were ignored by their naval high-command, with appalling consequences to coastal shipping. But then, Hollywood's air-brushing out of American mistakes and British successes is almost as inevitable as the type-casting of Germans as dumb, robotic bigots. It's not something to take personally. Though after all this time it does get a bit tiresome.
Audio-visually at least the movie was right on the money, especially if you have a decent home cinema. Bangs and clangs come over solid and visceral. There was clever, though rather obvious use of CGI. Little issues of personal tension didn't harm the rather shallow Alistair Mclean style plot and gave a little substance to its equally shallow characters. Unfortunately, all the old clichés were stowed aboard too: conflict between skipper and first officer ('Run Silent Run Deep', 'Up Periscope', 'Crimson Tide'), cat-and-mouse conflict with a destroyer ('The Enemy Below', 'Das Boot'), diving below the vessel's test-depth (Yawn - 'Das Boot', 'The Enemy Below', 'Ice Station Zebra', 'Crimson Tide') and so on.
And there simply isn't enough space to enumerate all of the tactical-technical errors that could have been avoided with just a little research.
Like so many Hollywood offerings today, - 'Titanic', 'Pearl Harbour', 'Gladiator' - a wonderful opportunity was abandoned in favour of crass spectacle. Instead, we got a movie that shamefully ignored all of the American submariners' sterling accomplishments - true episodes at least as remarkable as those depicted here - in favour of well-engineered, implausible, and frankly misleading pap.
Don't worry about snubbing us Brits. We're thick-skinned and used to it. But if I were a Yank instead, I would regard this movie as an act of treason, so shamefully does it disavow their true nautical heroes.
It's a pity the director didn't just update 'Torpedo Run'.