Haven't I seen this movie before?

Rating: 1/10 (20 January 2001)

***Warning: Spoilers***
American ingenuity and perseverance triumphs over the Nazis. Obviously the Nazis have never seen a sub movie before. If they had they'd know certain things, like jettisoning a bunch of garbage always precedes a surprise attack. Hell, I saw that one coming just by looking at the box. At some point during the course of this movie (I don't know when; It took me three sittings to get through it) the daring Captain McConaughey will take the sub below the recommended maximum depth. Why? So the hull can creak and the pipes burst. Why? Because it's a sub movie, why not!
Some things I learned by watching this film: 1. Anything that breaks on a sub can and will be fixed in the nick of time. 2. People in the military never salute each other or stand at attention. 3. When facing an enemy destroyer with much greater firepower and whose crew thinks you're on their side, the first thing to do is attack them, because dammit, we're Americans!
I haven't seen underwater action this believable since Bela Lugosi fought the octopus. This movie would have been greatly improved by filming Harvey Keitel improvising dialogue in a bathtub.
U-571 gets one star and that's for Bon Jovi. It would've gotten an extra star if he'd helped the crew's morale by belting out Living On A Prayer.
For a more realistic sub movie, see Yellow Submarine.
-DZ