clichéd, wooden, awful dreck

Rating: 1/10 (18 June 2009)

I contemplated seeing this in the theater, just to see what the fuss was all about. I'm sincerely glad I dodged that bullet, instead waiting for the DVD.
This movie is nothing more than porn for tweens who are anxious to drool over Pattinson or Stewart, although I can understand Pattinson's dark, brooding appeal, he's got talent, it's a shame that neither the director or the screenwriters chose to use any of it. Instead he's reduced to a emo, glaring, statue.
Stewart was absolutely terrible. She was so wooden, that I kept looking for strings attached to her body. She consistently holds the same monotone voice, same expression, and sleep walks through the movie. Nothing of the unworldly events, or shocking revelations, or uprooting her character experiences seems to shock, please, sadden, etc. her at all, she just holds that tranquilized expression through everything. Also, her delivery of lines is horrendous, awkward delivery, and pauses where none should be, one could almost feel violent waiting for her to finish the simplest of sentences. Let's not even get started on the group of friends.
Mostly I was left confused with what I considered to be a poorly written tepid storyline. Edward glitters like a craft store special when in the sun, he and his clan hunt and drink blood from animals rather than people, and play baseball. There's one "climatic" "matrix-esque" battle with some evil vampires., all because this girl and whatever she emanates is like vampire cocaine. Yay.
Never was I convinced of any great love between the two leads. There were one or two moments where I felt an almost warmth or desire between their characters, otherwise I was mostly bored at the endless staring scenes, Edward's apparent "bi-polar" behavior as he apparently has some inner-war with himself about Bella, "I love you, but it's dangerous for us both to be together." Give me a break.
Not to mention some very strange adults....Bella's mom and dad show about as much concern for her as a piece of moldy fruit found in the refrigerator, the whole family text messages one another, and no one seems to give a squat what happens with anyone else.
I haven't read the book, and seeing this movie gives me no desire to do so either.
I have read Anne Rice's series on vampires, and enjoyed it immensely as she had the ability to fill in characters, and personalize them so well, you feel for them even through the text of the page. This movie however, what a fault ridden waste of time!