Somewhere, Edward is Rolling Over in His Hypothetical Coffin

Rating: 1/10 (22 November 2008)

Let's face it, the movie was a total let down. I had low expectations. Extremely low but the movie disappointed me even then. The amazing love story we all read in the books was transformed into a whiny preteen nightmare. There was chemistry between Robert and Kristen, there is no denying that, but I didn't feel the need that is in the books. They are supposed to be I-can't-live-without-you, take-me-forever, I'm-devoted-to-you-always in love (Unless you want to count that one incident in Eclipse, but let's face it, most of us don't) but all I saw was a bored vampire and an indifferent girl.
The one thing that made me most angry was the complete disregard for the meadow scene. It is a VERY important part in the book where they pretty much declare themselves to each other. This meadow scene lasted all of 10 seconds and consisted of them staring at each other. They changed around the timing of the movie so much that it almost made no sense. Lets face it, the book was a good story but the writing wasn't up to par. It was pretty much written to be turned into a movie and the screenwriter obviously didn't realize that.
Sure, Robert was smoking hot (don't lie, you saw the ray bands) but his performance of Edward was terrible. The first time Bella walked into the Biology class, I laughed at his expression as did most people in the theater (some of them were too busy squealing). His badly-covered up English accent was also laughable.
Jasper was perfect, the person that made me laugh during the movie because if you looked, not at where the camera was focused, in most scenes you could see him lurking in the background and I think it fit his character well. Carlisle was cast to a T as were Esme, Jessica, Rosalie, Emmett and Alice. They all fit their parts well even if I imagined Alice a little bouncier, Emmett a little bigger and Rosalie a bit more bitchy.
Oh, the camera work. I'm not denying it, I liked the flickers between scenes at times but after a while, it can give you a headache. The insane closeups did NOT do what they were supposed to (show the intensity) instead they made me where they were half the time and realize how much makeup the actors where wearing. Every time there was a close up on Robert, it was totally obvious he was wearing contacts. Seriously, look for the line.
The one thing that was actually done really well was the climax with the ballet studio and James. The fight scene was pretty cool and I totally believed that James wanted to kill Bella right there. But, with every up there is a down. After James is killed and They are taking care of Bella, why couldn't Edward have been more upset? It's written right in the book that he all but cries when he sees her.
The movie was hyped up to an extreme so it was obvious it would be a let down, I just didn't know how bad it actually was. I don't get why they couldn't do little things that would have made it a bit better; The biology class incident? Bella wearing blue? Why the hell did James have to bite her arm instead of her hand? Would that have been SO hard to change? All in all, go see it if you are a Twilight fan but be weary. If you aren't, stay away because you will not understand a thing that is going on. As I said in my title, somewhere, Edwards is rolling over in his hypothetical coffin (yes I know they don't sleep in coffins, or sleep period for that matter, but that's why it's hypothetical)