Did the Director Hate the Book?

Rating: 3/10 (11 January 2009)

As you know, this review is supposed to be about the film, so I will keep comments about the book brief as possible. I enjoyed the first book a lot, though became steadily more rattled as I read the rest of the series. There, that's it. The point of my comment re the books is this: while I doubt very much that they are stunning literary masterpieces, I cannot deny that they are loved by millions of people, and that Twilight, therefore, deserved a much better representation on the big screen. The acting, for the most part, was OK. Not great, not terrible, but OK. The exceptions to this rule were Billy Burke, who was great as Charlie, and Peter Facinelli as Carlisle. Burke did a good job of portraying Charlie's awkward, sardonic side, and Facinelli put Carlisle's gentle, caring nature right out there. I actually thought the kid who played Jacob Black was very good too, though I suppose we'll see more of him in the next installment, if they make one. The leads however were average. Kristen Stuart looks how I imagined Bella, and I thought Robert Pattinson made a fairly convincing Edward, despite everyone's initial horror. In my opinion, though, they channeled all the most negative aspects of their characters. Bella in the film is on uber monotone, miserable and whiny mode - character flaws which came out far more strongly in the next book. Gone is her creative and witty side. Edward too had his angsty, tortured side on full show, rather than being confident and verbose. Whether you've read the books or not, having the character's more dismal parts brought out is not going to make for the most interesting viewing. Some of the direction in the film was terrifically feeble. Edward's first reaction to Bella brought howls of derision from the audience - rather than looking desperately enchanted, he looked like he'd necked one too many vodkas at a party the night before and was trying to suppress a very unpleasant hangover. The shots in this scene were also distracting - fading in and out like an early 90's after-school special, and at one point Edward had a stuffed barn-owl behind his head, so the wings stuck out behind his hair like mal-formed, gigantic, white, feathery ears. More hilarity ensued. The three evil vampires were an absolute hoot - when they accosted the poor boatman I half expected them to break into a high-kicking, jazzy number a la Chicago. The direction here seemed really out of place, particularly when coupled with James' cringe-worthy line: "What have I told you about playing with our food?" Argh, gasp, head-in-hands. There can't have been that many under 11s in their demographic, surely? The special effects were sub-par: Edward charging up the hill looked as though he was on a very fast escalator, and Edward and Emmetts' mid-air crash during the baseball game looked like something out of Charmed. The film picked up towards the end - the baseball game was pretty cool over all, and the confrontation with James was a definite high-point. Despite picking up though, the film could not resist ending in a morass of soap-opera-style cheese: when Victoria, after spying on Edward and Bella at the prom, un-pinned her hair (bit of a lame disguise considering she was still wearing her mud-stained fur and no shoes) and strutted vengefully down the stairs, backed by the tacky jingling of Hip Hop lite, the audience roared again. Twilight, for good or ill, has certainly not had its credibility restored by this alarmingly trite effort. Better luck next time.