My younger sister made me watch this and in return, I'm gonna make her watch Cannibal (2006).

Rating: 3/10 (21 November 2009)

I haven't read any of the "Twilight" books, and to be perfectly honest, I'm probably not going to attempt to do so on my own. Frankly I don't think I'd read any of them unless someone put a gun to my head. I'm really not into teen love stories, let alone teen-Dracula love stories. I'm commenting purely as someone who has only seen this film.
That said, speaking technically, this is a terrible film. Many film adaptations of literature come off stilted, unbalanced, flawed... But "Twilight" is a great example of precisely what NOT to do in a film of any sort.
It begins with the lack of character development. None, NONE of the characters actually develop. Bella's back-story is nearly a mystery, and the character has absolutely no personality or ties to anything around her. Edward Cullen had the most character development of anyone, no doubt because he's obviously author/creator Stephenie Meyer's amalgamation of idealized male traits and characteristics. There is no balance between Edward and Bella, with Bella offering the audience virtually nothing to relate to or care about; we simply do not see her engaged in any "life" to speak of. She's deader than any/all of the ancillary, interchangeable supporting characters. The other vampires? I scarcely remember their names since they aren't really involved. And the human characters? Equally if not more neglected and downright aborted.
The next major flaw is the story itself. There is none. It's literally about an hour and a half of trite, hopelessly hackneyed adolescent angst and protracted anguish between a codependent girl and a pasty, gaunt narcissist. Hot, right? Well, it could have been; maybe if we'd been offered reasons they were even attracted to each other. Of all things I expected to see, "Twilight" leaves completely absent any reasons for them to be together, or even want to be together. We never really know why Edward "loves" Bella. He seems to compliment her scent a couple of times, and tells her that he'd love to consume her blood as it would be "like a drug" to him. This mentality in itself isn't necessarily so absurd, but what makes it so absurd is that Bella is so unremarkable and ostensibly devoid of ambition or even opinion about the world around her. And the things Bella says to Edward? A considerable amount of dialog and screen time is devoted to Bella praising Edward for his physical acumen as a vampire. Worldviews are never discussed. Edward just blurs around saying vaguely creepy things while Bella praises him, and absolutely nothing happens in the background. There were a few "bad" vampires that showed up at some point, but I have no idea what they were doing or why. They're just thrown into the mix during, of all things, a vampire baseball game in a thunderstorm.
Yeah, a vampire baseball game in a thunderstorm. That thing that to have been the worst vampire-sports sequence I've ever seen. Corny doesn't begin to describe it, but it's honestly just about the only inkling of a plot or story outside of the interplay between Edward and Bella.
I decided the film wasn't 100% devoid of value, however. The cinematography really isn't that bad, and the visual impact is actually quite well implemented. CGI is approaching overuse but it's nowhere near as terrible in other recent films. Camera-work is able though the complete lack of a story robs the experience. You know what? Watch it on mute or in a language you don't understand and you'll probably have a much better time. Maybe get the digital version of it and cut/paste a pastiche of out-of-order sequences and give it a soundtrack made of Dream Into Dust, Flatline Skyline, Bauhaus, and/or Joy Division songs just for some really ironic giggles. Otherwise, just get some friends over and do your own Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
Since the film is pretty on mute and made me snicker and guffaw every few minutes, I gave it a solid 3. Unintentional comedy is never worth a mere 1 or 2 stars.