Doesn't work as a film, let alone a faithful adaptation of a beloved book

Rating: 3/10 (21 November 2008)

Of three things I was absolutely certain...first this film works as neither a film or an adapted feature, second the two major flaws lie not so much with the story but with Rob Pattinson and Catherine Hardwick, and three the book is better than this piece of drivel and the viewing public should know that. Had I never read the book, had I not been a so called Twilighter, this film would still be a disappointment, and make absolutely no sense. The director and writer assume that those seeing the movie are intimately familiar with the Twilight series, and thus they put together a fast paced confusing ride that rushes a story that takes time to develop. The editing of the film is horrendous and a better attempt at cutting the film might have made a better film, the close ups of eyes, the long expansive shots of trees and so much more leave dragging moments. Robert Pattinson, although he may be the hottest thing in the film, is really what makes it more of a comedy than a romantic drama. His acting abilities lie in his ridiculous facial expressions and body poses that are more cartoonish than the Darcy-like Edward character is supposed to display. The only believable relationship and acting comes from the Stewart and Burke, the father-daughter relationship is compelling and completely believable. They are truly the only saving graces of the film. The make up, the special effects look more appropriate for an 80's cult film, than a cutting edge vampire story. This film really plays more like a Sparknotes high-school adaptation, with an attempt to focus on the fans' favorite quotes, which perhaps just are not adaptable in a visual context. This film works as a comedy more than a drama, more like a spoof of the beloved series, as much of a fan as I am I was disappointed even going in with the lowest of expectations. Although it seems like a cop out to state that a book is not adaptable for the visual medium, it seems that Twilight was never meant to be put into a real world context perhaps because of the lack of ability in Meyer herself. This doesn't work as a vampire film perhaps because of every audience members preconceived notions as to what a vampire should be, and Meyer has created a new kind of vampire. The ending of the film, which I will not spoil here, is cliché and hearkens back to the old slasher films of the 80's, treating the audience like a mindless, superficial viewer who has to be fed a to be continued ending. All in all, this is a film one watches to do homework during, or if it happens to be on TV maybe you will watch it, the question is should you? Should you condone such a bastardization of a great book? I will wait to give a yes/no answer until the inevitable second film comes out in two years.