Laughed my ass off! What a money sucking crap.

Rating: 1/10 (28 June 2009)

I couldn't freaking believe it. What an incredible piece of ****. I had the awful experience to read the book, i had the double awful experience of hearing some friends blabber about what wonderful story it is, and last but not least, i had one of the worst cinematic experiences in my life watching this movie!
All of you die-hard fans better shut up and stick with your beloved Twilight novels. As i've noticed, any normal person above the age of 15, with some decent values of good acting and satisfying plot agrees with me about this movie. Actually, what the hell am i saying, the fans of Twilight are already teens full of the secret desperate wish of being noticed by a hot vampire. One of my greatest interests is literature and especially Gothic arts, besides i'm a writer myself, and i still can't stop wondering why the heck people say that Twilight is a good serial. OK, you may like it, it's your right, you're amazed by the story because it matches to your own shallow dark fantasies, but you can't say it's GOOD, because it simply ISN'T.
Alright, about the movie. I watched it yesterday with my brother and his girlfriend, and all i can say is that we didn't know how to react on most of the scenes. I laughed at most of them, because i didn't know what else to do, apart from covering my eyes. I mean, what in the world was happening to Bella? What personality did she show in this movie? "Hi, i'm Bella and i'm very misanthropic. I love Edward, i'm not sure why, i guess because he's hot and he can always save my ass when i get in trouble, because, ya know, he has these superpowers. Other than that, i'm lame, unfriendly, don't have any facial expressions and can't feel any other emotions, and i like to stare at people with the most painful look i can pull of, and make them think i am about to puke." Geez. There are TOO many awkward scenes, it's just unbearable to watch it. They stare at each other, they stare at other people, they stutter and engage in meaningless, boring and extremely irritant chats...i'm simply speechless. Actually, i'm only left to wonder was that horrible acting part of Catherine's wonderful plan, or they are naturally so untalented? Indeed, all of the Cullen vampires acted very strangely, they all looked like they're about to puke!
One of the weirdest things (but also one of the things anyone hardly notices) is the amount of friends Bella made in her new school. I mean, being so indifferent, boring, confused and cold blooded all the time, and avoiding contact with humans at almost any cost, and all of those people simply felt a unexplainable urge to have her as a friend? That's definitely not the way things are in the real world.
The romance between Bella and Edward also was a pure pain in the ass. It almost made me suicidal. Yuck! When did that love-for-eternity happen? At one point the viewer is very confused, torn between Edwards stupid facial expression and Bella's boring character, and right in the other minute she confesses that she wants to have him for eternity. What the heck? It simply looks like her character is invented only for the purpose of adoring Edward, even though "he could hurt her".
Pathetic from every angle. I'm so sick and tired of these glittery Hollywood twists of beautiful legends and stories. They have a way of ripping the soul out of every one of them. I hope that the cast, director and of course that Meyer woman made a lot of money out of this hilarious tragedy, because that was their only goal with this crappy serial and this even crappier movie (yes, that is possible) anyway. Most of the fans of the books don't even bother to be honest to themselves and admit that this is a bad movie. But nevermind, they're fans already and they'll swallow up anything related to the *brand* Twilight, a situation very similar to a mass brainwash, hm? But i STRONGLY recommend the non-Twilighters to stay away from this...thing. Your eyeballs shall never forgive you.