The Most Atrocious Adaptation of a Great Novel I Ever Could Have Imagined!

Rating: 1/10 (27 November 2008)

First, let me say that I wanted to give this experience a 0 out of 10, but that wasn't offered! I went to see 'Twilight' after reading the incredible book series all at once because they were so addictive! Those books were magical; they transported me into a world of storytelling platinum! They were so detailed, so character driven, so developed...and yet so easy to read at the same time! They were quite an accomplishment! Then, the movie opened up in my hometown of Anchorage, Alaska, and I went to see it with a group of friends, hoping I would at least enjoy myself! All of my friends had a good time, and actually liked the film! I was the only one in the entire group who saw it for what it really was: lazy, atrociously written, rushed, emotionally vacant drivel! I have literally seen some porn that was more intelligently written and put together than this movie and its script were! I am utterly appalled! The book laid it all out there, neatly, skillfully and carefully. All the screenwriters had to do was translate it to film without botching it all up! All they had to do was follow the story, without ditching key details and without misrepresenting the emotion of every single character! They just couldn't find the skills in their pea-sized brains to pull that off, despite how much they must have been paid! I find that absolutely pathetic! Let's get into some of the key details that were destroyed; they weren't just lost in translation, they were DESTROYED! First of all, Edward Cullen, played without any humanity, emotion, or personality by Robert Pattinson, who should have been a model instead of an actor, was turned into some sort of boyish twit of a vampire instead of the fascinating, brooding, fully-developed, intelligent, and sensible character he was in the books. His romance with Catherine Hardwicke's vapid, mindless, whiny, incessant version of the heroine in the story was entirely laughable! Still, he was incredibly beautiful to look at, so at least they got that part of the book right! Secondly, the members of his family had no discernible identity separate from him at all in the film; they might as well have just been left out entirely! If I hadn't read the book before seeing this trash, I wouldn't even have known who the hell they were! They were faceless and brainless! I couldn't have even forced myself to care one bit if every single one of them had been slaughtered; that's usually not a good sign in a movie! Thirdly, there were so many key emotional buildups that were ignored! There was the development of the love triangle between Mike, Bella (the main heroine), and Edward, which was made into more of a soap opera than a valid, honest, heartfelt interpretation. There was no development there of any kind; they just jumped right through it, as they did with every other buildup in the film. There was absolutely no explanation of Bella's relationship with her dad; his character just faded into the woodwork like so much lost potential in this movie! They turned the scene where Bella and Edward are in the woods together, and Edward is telling her that he is a vampire for the first time and jumping around like a frog, into a hilariously awful massacre of its events! Pattinson, or Edward, spends the scene trying to act with emotion, and instead acting with constipation! Kristen Stewart, or Bella, spends the scene attempting to display shock and awe, and instead showcasing her uncanny ability to stare into space while pretending to pay attention to the man, or vampire, she's supposedly in love with! What a sham! There are just too many negative comments one could make regarding this movie and its performances and its direction, so I'm just going to leave it at that! This goes out to the general public: for the sake of your lives and your time being cherished, do not go to this movie! There is not enough money or treasure in the world that could make this desolate experience worthwhile!