Blood is the new black

Rating: 6/10 (10 August 2009)

What is it with vampires?! – now that the empire has declined and fallen it seems we have this universal need to crowd all that we don't understand, all that we desire but fear, into a comprehensible whole – vampires: the Other made flesh - feared and beautiful, like a religion, or a nation. Then this plastic mould can be fitted to anything at all – so why not a lightweight teenage high school romance? – as long as it knows what it is and doesn't have pretensions beyond its abilities, of course.
Now I've learned there's a whole cultish book series behind this film, some things make sense that didn't when I'd just seen it. It wasn't that I found the story confusing – it's not that deep! – but that I couldn't understand why some characters were in it, why they were being shown to me. They seemed to have no purpose. But other things bug me more.
In some ways they got it so right – the way Bella looks at Edward, with a mixture of awe, fear and the kind of lust that belongs exclusively to teenagers; the misty Washington setting; the casual high school chatter; the inclusion of Jacob and his Quileute family for a bit of mystical interest – but in others they got it so, so wrong. Edward is very beautiful indeed – but he's too beautiful, he doesn't appear to have any imperfections at all (unless his love for – and lust for – a human could be said to be his fatal flaw). He's the boy girls draw on their notebooks if they can draw, and dream about if they can't. So I don't buy that he's waited all this time for Bella to come along; that he's, in effect, Sleeping Beauty to Bella's Prince. I don't buy that, if he's so hot and desirable, all the high school girls don't hate Bella for being the one girl – the first – to go where they couldn't. I felt that for all the idea was cute, the film would have benefited from a bit more visual style, some directing flair, which would have perhaps made it easier to 'buy' all the unbelievable bits.
That said I thoroughly enjoyed watching it for the lightweight entertainment it is, and will definitely be watching the inevitable sequel. But next time I'd be happy with some sharper dialogue, and can we please have some serious competition for Saint Edward? Can someone tell me why I'm supposed to like any of Edward's 'family'? Can something interesting happen to the characters that seem to drift purposelessly through this film – such as Bella's lonely dad and Jacob, out in the cold on the rez?