Awful film

Rating: 2/10 (9 March 2009)

The poor quality of this movie really sets a low bar for the film industry as a whole. Unfortunately, thanks to a severe addiction to novels, I had the (dis)pleasure of reading Twilight several months before the film came out, and basically took the book for what it was - a semi-erotic vampire story in which Stephanie Meyer took her own "romantic" (I use the word loosely) ideal and put it into words. To further clarify, as if it weren't clear enough from the author herself, the book is her own version of erotic fan-fiction. The plot itself is laughably simple and the romance is creepy, and seems to enjoy creating a vampire lore that makes them look about as fearsome as rabbits.
Nevertheless, I decided to give the film a chance. After all, I've seen mediocre books turned into good films - Prince Caspian being my notable favorite. Within ten minutes of the film, I was bored and on the verge of leaving the theater. I decided to get my money's worth and sit it out, which was an unpleasant experience thanks to the fact that I and my brother were surrounded by middle school girls - and I think my brother fell asleep. It was probably the fact that the sun, a vampire's *main* weakness, made Edward's skin "shimmer and glitter" and the fact that he had no fangs or attributes of a vampire. It probably didn't even help that the basis behind Edward's attraction to Bella was flimsy to the point of being laughable.
There's so, so many things wrong with this film that even the novel isn't responsible for. The acting is on a level of horrid that I would expect from far less seasoned actors. Pattinson is a pretty above-average actor, and coming into the film industry as a teen heartthrob, it's probably enough for him to be on screen and for girls to ogle at his face, but for most other people his acting was stilted and his lines delivered with the fakery that only someone relying too much on his looks could possibly pull off. There is a reason why less handsome or beautiful actors are usually better at what they do, and it's because they have to make up for their visual deficiencies. He obviously didn't break the pattern. The actress, Kristin Stewart, was slightly better, but it was offset by the fact that she overacted her way and blundered through the film.
The werewolf's role was boring, forgettable, and probably not even worth noticing, as were most of the peripheral characters, like the other vampire gang and the vampire in that gang who Edward battles, whose name I can't be bothered to remember. This film wasn't just a waste of my time, it was a waste of money and I *beg* people not to watch this travesty.