Almost, but not entirely, worthless

Rating: 1/10 (16 January 2009)

I understand coming in that I'm not the target audience for this stuff. This franchise is marketed towards the squealing teenage girls that made it popular, and my opinion will no doubt be discarded by all of the fans. First and foremost, the novel is dreadful. The plot is dull, the characterization is poor and the whole thing reads like a bad fanfic. I would not hesitate to award the film a 1, or a zero if applicable.
I have charitably given this a two, primarily for the cinematography, soundtrack, and the fact that one of the actors last role was as "Skinny Dude" which amuses me immensely for no good reason. Most of the enjoyability came from it's narmtacular moments which were clearly intended as dramatic but had quite the opposite effect, with the entire theatre in stitches. In conclusion, this film is right up there with Battlefield Earth, Robocop 3, and of course, Who's Your Caddy? In conclusion, your time and money would be put to better use purchasing a lava lamp and staring at it for a few hours. I know I would have enjoyed it more.