Sparkling vampires = sucking on peckers

Rating: Null/10 (5 January 2011)

Dracula is probably ticked off at this movie for making him look bad, because they did a heck of a job doing it. Bats everywhere probably want to take a huge bat crap on this piece of s**t film. Back in my day, vampires sucked blood, not people's peckers. Let me put it simple; most likely the WORST romance film, let alone the worst vampire film in the history of mankind. The only films that might be worse are its sequels. For fans of the books, this might be worth watching, but that means they really like vampires, or their gay. I'll admit the first book was all right. But the movies just sucked the big peckers.
The film follows the novel in all the wrong ways. Adds completely unnecessary scenes, and doesn't make use of the plot as much as it could have. Plus its just so pathetic and silly it almost makes you wanna laugh. A girl found out that she's been hanging with a vampire, and she doesn't get scared or anything. COME ON! Who would be cool after realizing you were just with a freaking vampire! Thats so freaking dumb. Give me a break! Plus, did someone think the vampires weren't gay enough? Whose bright idea was it for them to sparkle? Vampires do not sparkle, no matter what you do to these!
The actors overdo it, and put way too much work into pulling off their characters. When Edward leaves the classroom after first meeting Bella, he looks like he's gotta take a crap. The performances are just too shaggy. Their not calm at all.
I could go on forever, but I think iv'e covered enough. In short terms, this movie blows the big wiener. Anybody else would agree with me. Only gays and lovers of vampires would love this, and thats their problem. Don't let it be mine.