Stoker will never forgive this.

Rating: 1/10 (31 August 2011)

Yeah. The first part of the second worst thing to happen to the world after Hitler, Twilight is a romance movie of a seventeen year old characterless, gutless and spineless, gooey mass of a girl called Bella Swan (Kirsten Stewart) who falls head over heels in love with a hundred and four year old, glitter-in-the-sunlight vampire (Robert Pattinson) who has occasional homosexual tendencies and also suffers from erectile dysfunction since vampires don't have blood circulating through their body. Are all the normal guys in town dead? No. Is she a necrophiliac? Apparently. And they make out, fight other vampires and it all ends happily ever after, which accidentally is also the best part of the movie since this mega-pile of kangaroo dung finally ends! But if that isn't bad enough for you, they also made a second part.
P.s. It has two semi-decent songs. It also makes an endless supply of vulgar jokes.