I Don't Wanna Be Lumped As A General Hater...

Rating: Null/10 (26 August 2011)

Sometimes you can't help but give a 1 rating because the movie is just simply that bad. I don't want to be lumped as a person who hates Twilight for simply being cool or as a general hater. I have reason for hating this thing...
First, let's start with the acting. How on Earth can anyone take this acting seriously? Stewart's constant blinking sets off an all-caps-rage with me and she's not even the worst part of this movie, which says a lot, folks. Robert plays the worst vampire ever created. He looks like a pedophile in a few scenes and consider he's probably over 80, he technically is a pedophile. He acts like he's afraid to speak, when it should be Bella who's afraid to speak. Near the end of the film, the 'bad' vampires crouch in front of the Cullens (who also crouch) showing that they are hungry for Bella's blood. It's so laughably ridiculous that it's shameful to think anyone would find this as the most dramatic moment in the movie or call it the climax of the film.
That being said, the plot never shows up. I never felt like there's a reason to watch this. I watched it so I could give a valid review having seen it, finally. But, I kept waiting for a reason for all this to be happening. It never came. It was just, "stay away, I'm dangerous" and then nothing even happens to Bella.
How about the 'visual effects'? For a movie with a substantial budget of nearly $40M, you'd expect better special and visual effects. Plus, I expected the vampire make-up effects to be better. I was very tamed and unimpressed about all three effects department. But, I guess it's not completely their fault since they had to build these concepts for the film off of poorly written material. Really...? A vampire sparkles in the daylight? That's their golden special effect? I feel sorry for
Melissa Rosenberg, because most of the time (I know her as a writer for The O.C.) she is talented. Maybe it was the fact that she was not doing a teleplay but an actual screenplay. Maybe it was the fact that she had to stay true to Meyer's horrible story in the books and couldn't change anything. Whatever the reason, the script is filled with cringe worthy dialogue that makes anyone with half a brain roll their eyes in utter bewilderment. "You're my own personal brand of heroine," is such a romantic pick-up line, isn't it? It worked on the slut Bella, since Edward is like, so, totally the dreamiest of men in the world. Ahem, erm, uh, vampire, I mean. Seriously the dialogue is so cheesy and stolen from other movies, it's super-difficult to resist mocking it.
In a 2-hour movie, (why??) the establishment to the audience that the Cullens are vampires takes too long (45 minutes invested movie time). For people who don't read the books, maybe it would have been better to come into the story later on or perhaps tone down the outside-of-school time. Maybe tone down the entire thing... oh wait...there's 4 more films of this trash.
After years of refusing to watch this because of all the people I know who have intelligence and taste, I can safely say this is the worst movie ever made and I'd watch any other terrible movie (ie. Meet the Spartans, Blair Witch, Date Movie, Butterfly Effect 2, etc.) again and again before I ever gave this a second viewing.
Stephanie Meyer's finger should have never clicked a mouse to view wikipedia nor touched a computer keyboard to type her ridiculous story. You want a real vampire movie? Check out Interview with a Vampire, or Blade, or even 30 Days of Night was better than this.