Somehow Worse Than I Expected it to be

Rating: 1/10 (22 August 2016)

Twilight follows Bella, a high schooler who, upon moving to a new town, falls in love with a boy at her school. However, as they grow closer she begins to realize that there's more to him than she initially thought.
Towards the end of the movie there's a part of the climax that, although I knew exactly how it would end, put me slightly on edge. I felt a little tense and worried for the characters.
Other then that, this movie is a steaming pile of poop.
Where to start, the writing, how about there. Holy cow, it's awful. From start to finish every line of dialogue is absolutely awful. Everything sounds extremely scripted and unnatural. You could argue that its the actors, but trust me, I'll get to that. Most of the lines are far to elaborate and poetic to sound like a real conversation.
Now the characters. Flat. That's all I can think of. There's no character development, everything the characters say is important to the story. No one has any real conversations about stuff that isn't really important. While it is possible to develop a character while they explain things, this movie is incapable of understanding that fact. The characters present every line of information with little to no emotion, and it sheds little on who that person actually is. Furthermore, the characters act like they have fallen in love, and the movie acts like that's true, and yet the main characters have zero chemistry and no development of their relationship. Whenever the movie has the opportunity to develop them it just skips past it, or shows montages of them talking with music over it, so they aren't actually saying anything that we as an audience can hear. And yet I'm supposed to believe that these people are in love? That's unlikely. By the end I felt absolutely nothing for these characters. Even as I write this I feel nothing.
Now on to the acting. To start, I like Kristen Stewart. I've seen some of her newer movies and I've liked her. But she's embarrassingly bad in this movie. She makes these weird moans/snickers/groans or something before and/or after every single line of dialogue, and whenever she talks she shakes and moves her head awkwardly. Its super distracting and awkward, and if she's trying to play a socially inept character then she's doing a horrible job of it. Besides, its clear that she isn't socially inept. She's able to talk to people right off the bat of meeting them pretty easily, and somehow manages to fall for a boy in half a school semester. Not that that means a whole lot, though. There were even a handful of scenes where I started laughing at how bad her delivery was. Every other actor is, while not as bad as Stewart, pretty mediocre. Anna Kendrick in particular doesn't suit her role.
Whenever the vampires fight or move the movie uses special effects to make it look like they're moving faster, but it just looks cheap and dumb, and really doesn't add a whole lot to the movie. If anything, it makes it feel more like an anime, only it's live action. Yeah, those always turn out good.
When the climax finally rolls around it's stupid. It's so incredibly rushed, forced, and unexplained that it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Like the movie suddenly realized: "Oh shoot, we need an action-packed climax for this vampire movie. Let's just throw some more vampires in and make them fight for some unexplainable and stupid reason." It's just so out of nowhere. Now I don't usually have a problem with climaxes that just kind of come out of nowhere, but this movie rushed into it so fast and treated it like it was a developed conflict that had been building up for this entire 2 hour movie.
Yes, this movie is 2 hours. How it pulls that off, I haven't the slightest clue. The worst thing is, it only gets worse. While its not exactly boring, it does start down that path towards the end.
Overall Twilight is one of the most unpleasant movies I've ever seen. The acting is wooden, the writing is awful, the characters are flat, the climax is awful, and so is basically everything else. The only reason this review isn't longer or more elaborate is because I simply can't remember everything and I'm not really in the mood to write a long review right now. Plus I feel like I'm just rewriting what so many others already have said. In the end, this movie is awful. Don't watch it.