Bad, really bad!

Rating: 4/10 (4 December 2008)

If you want to have a big sarcastic or ironic laugh than go and enjoy, because that's what happened to me. It's the worst "book made into a movie" piece I have ever seen. First of all, the main lead, Bella, in my opinion was more dead than the actual dead person - Edward. The reactions were slow and lame, I have no problem with the actress in other movies but this was just pathetic. Edward was BLUSHING all movie long. I mean, dang people, how can a vampire blush when he's dead and there is no blood in him, it's like sandwich with cheese and an interesting book - Are those two even related! No they are not, that's the same with Edward and his bloody cheeks. And about Edward, he was a whiny cry-baby(of course, vampires can't cry, but in this movie is everything possible, so I wouldn't be surprised). He was so manly in the book and so gay in the movie, he lost his manhood in the first few minutes when he started to talk. Not so smart, not so smart, would've been better if he didn't talk(poetic, isn't it?). Second, Jasper was way too depressed and sad, I mean I had an impression that he was seriously beaten by his dad or whatever whom when he was young. Rosalie was okay, Emmet needed to be more teasing and sarcastic but it was bearable. Esme was cute and motherly, that's exactly what was needed but Carlisle was weird. He had too much make-up and he didn't look dead but he was like "I want to be a vampire like others but my powder ended and now I'm sulking", it was way too weird, not what I expected. Alice was cool, I liked this actresses image so it was the closest to the real thing from anyone in this movie. Charlie was funny and a little annoying but still very suitable. Jacob was....well he was a retard, his long haired wig was creepy and those Hollywood white teeth were disturbing. I am telling you he was not so lame in the book. He is not a mechanic, he is definitely not a werewolf, he is a retard who is bullied at school and flashed in the toilet pot. That's the story of mister too smiley. Thirdly,I had an impression that the producers, directors or what so ever didn't open the actual book, because it was like I was watching "How to slice a steak in the early and rainy mornings". Come on, there was no storyline in this movie it was too separated between scenes, if I hadn't read the book I wouldn't understand what was it about. And Finally, the five or six boy's who attacked Bella was a gay gang with no balls. I felt like Bella took action and care about her own business. And Edward afterwards when he "rescued" her from these sleaze bastards did something even I didn't understand what. He was looking scary or was looking for a boyfriend? That remains as a mystery to me. All in all, I will watch the up-coming second movie but it doesn't seem promising. Probably will end with this kind of a review.