What is popular is not always good...

Rating: 3/10 (16 September 2014)

Ah, 2008, the sixth grade, so many lousy memories... but living in a small town that didn't even have a mall, movies were what teens used to occupy themselves more than anything else. When Twilight came out, all the popular snobs and emo kids were overjoyed. Vampires, romance, murder, mayhem, what's not to love? Well, wanting to fit in, I pestered my mom and dad until finally it was downloaded for me and the three of us watched it along with Village of the Damned (1995). I realized, about five minutes into Twilight, that I'd made a big mistake.
Bella is an average, frankly sort of ugly, typical melodramatic teen who has moved into a small town when she meets the mysterious Cullen family, mainly Edward, the guy every girl wishes they could date. As she becomes more involved with him, she realizes he and his family are a tribe of vampires, calling themselves "vegetarians (because they only drink animal blood, right... they need a better dictionary).
Well, Edward was the guy the popular kids in my class called sexy and swank. You know, he's the one who is always wearing lipstick in all the posters so he looks more pale than normal? Well, I've seen so many vampire films, from Dracula to Martin to Salem's Lot... not one of them glittered in the sunlight. That makes no sense whatsoever, and it makes me question what the author was high on when she wrote the novel series.
Bella was so average looking it was obviously intended, and half the time she was muttering so I couldn't hear her talking. Her romance with Edward involves leaping through trees behind his house like a baboon, among other bizarre events that really make me wonder, who the hell is enjoying this film? Towards the end is a scene where Bella starts bleeding to death, and for no explained reason her mouth hangs open like a dead trout and she acts out a dramatic scene that reminds me of holy rolling.
I honestly thought the film was stupid, pathetic and often boring, full of sappy yet messed up romance. I have not watched the continuing films, nor have I read the book series. Honestly, the only way you'll enjoy this film is if you're a melodramatic teenager who fantasizes about boys too much. Twilight was nearly as awful as The Hunger Games, certainly not worth your time.