Not all that impressed

Rating: 4/10 (17 December 2008)

Why so low? Well, firstly, the narration was very very deadpan. Bella wasn't someone who emoted very well. Her acting seemed very awkward. All the acting seemed very awkward. To me, it seemed like the director said, "Ok. You're playing Bella and you, you're playing Edward. There's some tension. Some vampire creepy secrecy going on. Now, be awkward. That's right. Now, stutter. Pause. Say 'Um' and collect your thoughts a lot. More awkward... no just a little bit more awkward. Now fidget. You can fidget with your jacket, with your jeans, with your bag, with your hair... just fidget, and be sure to do it a lot... awkwardly. Edward... force your chuckles. And when I mean force, I mean that your chuckles are superglue in a container that has been sealed for months and the last person to use this container of superglue was your clumsy little brother who left lint on the nozzle as well as excess glue which dried and you have to squeeze out your chuckles, smiles, and lines from that. DIG OUT THOSE CHUCKLES AND EMOTIONS BOY!" After that, it seemed odd that Bella was welcomed so WELL into the new school. I can see how people from a small town might be interested in this prized jewel known as the new girl, since I'm from one myself, but you had to be too cool for school to get in with everyone, considering everyone is supposed to be friends or close in a small town... at least mine was. The warm and continuously warm welcome, if not blazing hot welcome, seemed unrealistic to me.
The glistening vampire thing was handled better than I was expecting. People who weren't fans of the book or movie would giggle and laugh and call it ridiculous.
The rest of the vampire lore was interesting in that it was venom and not a disease, like most books or movies use these days. I also really liked the history of the local Native American tribe and the Cullens. It made a lot of sense and was very cool.
However, a lot of the time I was squirming in my seat due to the whole awkward nature of the film. All the dialogue seemed like a huge struggle for the actors to get out. The movements and actions were awkward. I can't use the word "awkward" enough, eh? Bella's friends, with exception to the cool Asian guy, made me embarrassed, because I often get embarrassed for characters on screen for some reason. The "you're a powerful woman" delivered in such a deadpan voice made me facepalm.
I didn't like that all Bella could say was "I don't care" when Edward was revealing what he was. It was repetitive and didn't make it look like Bella had much coherent thought behind anything she was saying.
Things started to pick up at the baseball game, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would. Acting became more believable, no more awkward junk, and certainly a threatening feel to it. Loved the whole fighting vampire scene and Bella's acting was great as she was writhing on the floor. I liked the video editing and transitions when Edward needed to force himself away.
However, I don't feel that I needed to wait an hour and a half for something to happen that I was interested in.
And, to be honest, I was more interested in the werewolves than the vampires... and they didn't even show up. I wish that they had more bits with Alice. She's claimed to be "odd" or "weird" and I wanted to see if she was a character that I could latch onto, since I really like characters like that... but there were hardly any scenes with her.
Like the title of the thread says, I wasn't all that impressed.