Just Awful... Oh the disappointment

Rating: 3/10 (24 December 2008)

Firstly, I admit to two facts: 1. I have read the Twilight saga (why did I bother? I am not sure - probably to see what all the fuss was about. Nothing it would seem) 2. I am not the target audience for this film but it is worth noting that the actors and director have made much of the fact that Twilight is not exclusively a 'teen' film. I would disagree with that. I cannot comprehend how anyone other than an impressionable teenage girl would enjoy this farcical romp.
Twilight is simply dire and for so many reasons. It could have been decent - there were glimpses of what could have been a good film but they were few and far between. Mostly this film is a mess, cringe-worthy and funny for all the wrong reasons. Some key observations:
1. Style: The film looks and feels disjointed - like it is a mash up of clips shot by different people. Some scenes are shot in awkward hand-held camera mode, as though it is a student 'mockumentary'. Other scenes (the majority I would say) have a substandard teen soap quality about them. The two former styles mean that the baseball and ballet studio scenes (both of which I quite enjoyed - particularly the baseball scene, which was odd in the book but done very well here) seem out of place. I appreciate that the budget was low on this film but even still! The lack of continuity in film style is perplexing and irritating.
2. Storyline: The film tried to stick to as much of the book as possible but as much of the book focus on Bella's inner thoughts/inner monologues, it meant that the script jumped from scene to scene awkwardly without any explanation. Maybe a loose adaptation would have been better.
3. Soundtrack: I found the use of music in this film to be utterly bizarre. In many scenes the music just seemed inappropriate or completely random/out of sync. Some of the more 'intense' scenes between Bella and Edward were ruined by odd background music/random guitar chords. The scene where Edward plays the piano befits a music video rather than a film. Odd.
4. Acting Or lack of: Sorry, but most of the people in this film are painfully wooden and dull. I feel bad for Robert Pattinson - he does an alright job but because everyone else is so poor (I know Bella is a bit dull in the books, but Kristen Stewart is just annoying and monotonous in tone and acting) he looks out of sorts and almost like he is over acting when he is actually the only one acting!
Twilight could have been something decent (not that the story line is particularly original, but even so) but in the end I don't think it even qualifies as a 'film'. I have given it 3 stars and not 1 because I liked the use of Radiohead at the end, the baseball scene was surprisingly well done and Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart at least looked the part. Other than that, I have to shake my head in shame. What a lost opportunity. Seeing as the books go downhill from here on, I can't imagine what the other films will be like. Be prepared to cringe and be disappointed I reckon.