Bland and surprisingly lacking in passion, excitement or breathlessness

Rating: Null/10 (13 July 2009)

There is no point in pretending it – I'm a man in his thirties and I'm not target audience for this film. So the fact that I rented it is just a "bonus" few pounds in the pockets of the makers since they clearly weren't aiming this film at me. Who they were aiming it at appears to have been the army of teenage girls who have been reading the Twilight books religiously – again. I'd never even heard of the books so this is really something off my cultural radar. Regardless I decided to give the film a try without really knowing the plot or what it was meant to be. What I found was the first part in a longer story about a human teenager who moves back to her small town and falls for a boy who turns out to be one of a group of teenage vampires who feed off the blood of animals rather than people.
I have no problems with the teenage aspect of the story but somehow it really failed to engage me as it was not only too superficial but didn't even really do that particularly well. The film plays like it has been written around events without a great deal of depth, complexity or characterisation in it, which is a surprise considering the fertile ground the world of teenage love and acceptance is. Sadly it comes off all too bland and obvious for my tastes and I rarely could bring myself to care about what was going on. The direction is a bit too serious at times but it also lacks passion and the breathlessness that the material suggests it must have once had if it did captivate a teenage audience. Of course I could be just missing the point because perhaps the cast are a big part of it working and this is lost on me.
Certainly the appeal of much of the cast is lost on me totally. Stewart has something about her but cannot translate it into something meaningful here, leaving her character feeling a bit one-dimensional. However compared to Pattinson she looks like one of the finest actresses of her generation because he is about as dull and vapid as he could have been without trying. OK maybe his immortal, unsleeping character has to have something weirdly "dead" about him but this should not be a detrimental part of his performance as it is here. I shan't bother to list those below them because nobody really captured my interest in terms of their characters or performances.
Twilight is not a bad film, it is just a very bland one that lacks passion, heart or excitement. Maybe the target audience will strongly disagree (I'd be shocked if they did not) but having watched this for myself I fail to see what not only the fuss is about – but why anyone would really consider this to be a good film.