All bad, all the time

Rating: 3/10 (6 June 2009)

I can review this with unbiased as I have not read any of the four massive tomes-for-books that this movie is based off of.
Now, it's been some time since I've seen this movie, I am just now thinking of the words to review it. My forty-six year old MOTHER bought this movie since she loved the books. And I was a little iffy about it since the internet communities I frequent, were not fans. (Though, many of those same people just hate stuff for the sake of hating stuff).
But finally, one day, I mustered up enough boredom to watch some of it.
I was already unimpressed within the first 30 minutes. So much so I had to STOP watching the atrocity and find something more amusing to do. Like watching golf, or something. But a week later, I got bored enough to finish watching it.
Severely not impressed. First off, the leading character was massively pale herself and would have been confused whether or not SHE was a vampire, if I didn't have some minor outside knowledge already. The confusion didn't end there as she gets a crush and falls in love with this completely emotionless vampiric character.
The massive pitfall of this movie is when I saw that these vampires SPARKLE in daylight. Are you F-ing kidding me? That's their major curse? Their "Skin of a monster? (Edward)" Are you SERIOUS. Did the author of the books purposefully NOT research common vampire lore? Now, I don't mind a twist and a change here and there, and I especially don't mind day-walking vampires... But that is such a pointless and, forgive me, RETARDED 'twist' on vampire lore. Completely unnecessary.
And then, the cheesy and unrealistic "speed" effects the movie gave. No mention of logical force of movement or momentum. Nothing.
The only times I liked this film were all the times the vampire characters WEREN'T even on-screen. I liked the storytelling and characterization between Bella and her father. I must admit, I did like that (I'm a sucker for character development).
The second thing? I must admit, the final fight scene was well done. Even the aftermath just seemed to be acted better.
I could nitpick but really, there's no point. Twilight fans just drool over the "hot" Edward and non Twilight fans will watch and/or read the books and think, "What's the big deal?" Complete fail.