Bland-something boring and uninteresting Ex. Twilight

Rating: 1/10 (2 December 2010)

Bland is the perfect word to use with everything about Twilight. Bland acting, bland story, bland dialogue, bland direction, bland cinematography, bland romance, bland effects, bland action, everything is bland about Twilight. It is one of those movies you watch to make fun of, but after watching you feel like you really wasted two hours. It's unlike other bad movies were you can watch, review, and feel entertained by making fun of it. With Twilight everything is so boring that you feel like falling asleep ten minutes in. I found myself so bored that I started thinking about stuff for around thirty seconds. When stopped thinking about stuff I looked back at my TV to see the movie playing. It is so bland that thirty seconds of though made me forget that it was playing. That is like a cup of water and a stale piece of bread blandness. Sure there is other things to complain about also. The effects are terrible. When Edward runs it looks like he's going up an escalator in the ground. Then there is the moronic romance. Bella staying in love with a guy that stalks her, wants to kill her, and watches her sleep for months is pretty stupid. The ending where Edward sucks the venom out of Belle to stop her from becoming a vampire is stupid. If he let her change she would be safe from vampires, and he wouldn't have to deal with her growing old and dying. Sure she would have to live with seeing her loved ones die, but she would have Edward with her. Also her parents are grow old and die anyway so what's all the difference that she doesn't age during that time. Then of course there is sparkling vampire skin. It is really the stupidest thing ever. How is he supposed to pass as a strong vampire if he has sparkle skin. Why not make it be when he is in the light his true evil form is revealed or something like that? Oh yeah because A.That would be cool B.That would create actual dramatic tension C.Girls like jewelry so they love guys with sparkle skin. I'm not trying to be sexist here it's just these girls who buy this crap are increasing the stereotype of moronic teenage girls that have awful taste. I don't want to be sexist with this statement, but if this is a phenomenon to girls than it is official that a large portion of teenage girls have no taste whatsoever. In the end though it is the blandness that sticks out with this one. A pile of trash in many occasions can be better than nothing. Twilight sure is a nothing.
0 stars out of 4