Not even worth the one star I'm giving it

Rating: 1/10 (16 May 2010)

This movie is a disgrace to cinema and a waste of celluloid. My heart goes out to the projectionists and theater workers who had to put up with the relentless torrents of mindless teenyboppers in the movie houses.
I'll try to explain the plot without sacrificing any braincells. There's a girl named Bella, who has the acting ability of a mannequin at Hollister, who falls in love with Edward, a "vampire" who breaks every known archetype of a traditional creature of the night. Apparently, Pale Face was looking for someone like Ms. Mannequin 2008 for almost 100 years. Talk about high standards.
Now, more about Edward's vampire faux pas. Dracula and the like drink human blood, often turning victims into vampires themselves, burn in direct sunlight (or any sunlight for that matter), and overall have an intimidating presence. Edward, unfortunately, has none of these traits, as he glistens in sunlight and drinks animal blood. He may have the helpless victim thing down, though, but that's being generous.
The CGI looks cheesy and the camera work is sloppy at best. I will give Robert Pattinson credit with a decent set-list.
Overall, the film is only worth your time if you feel like committing cerebral suicide or if you are a supreme masochist. On a lighter note, the book isn't as bad, but it's still pretty bad. It'll no doubt please obsessed preteen girls, but everyone else should avoid this like the plague.