Nothing will be the same.

Rating: Null/10 (12 February 2010)

The fact that this has become a full blown pop culture phenomenon baffles me to no end, it's not that good. The story is very simple, a moody and pale teenager named Bella Swan from Phoenix, Arizona decides to live with her father for a while in Forks, Washington. Bella seems to draw the other teenagers like flies as they try to be friendly and several of the guys seem to like her. Honestly, this surprises me because Bella is pretty bland. She takes notice in some strange high school students. One of them is Edward Cullen and he and Bella don't seem to getting along. When a car speeds through the parking lot and almost crushes her, Edward just happens to get over there like a bolt of lightning and stop the car with his bare hands. Bella gets curious and tries to get some answers from him about his unique abilities. After another rescue and uncomfortable conversations, she does some research and finds out that he's a vampire, a vampire who sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight rather than burn to a crisp like the vampires of legend, and even though he thirsts for her blood because he and his clan only drink less satisfying animal blood, they fall in love and start going out. The relationship between the two main characters seems to be based on trust, he is protective of her but is always struggling with his desire to drink her blood. Kind of like a drug addict dating crack if you catch my drift.
At times, the movie can actually be kind of romantic or even suspenseful, but the biggest problem with the movie is that it's often pretty boring. Kirsten Stewart's performance as Bella is just bland and often I can't tell what emotion she's trying to convey because she looks nauseous most of the time. Rob Pattinson's performance on the other hand is okay, he's a vampire, over a hundred years old and stuck in a super strong and fast seventeen year old body. You can actually sympathize with him as he struggles to control his blood-lust for the girl he loves. There are other characters that deserve mentioning, the other high school students are painfully overplayed but the less said about them, the better. Taylor Lautner is likable as Jacob Black, an old friend of Bella and member of a Native American tribe, he and his family are actually pretty likable. The bad vampires are pretty cool, especially the sadistic James who wants to feast on Bella. The good vampires are okay but we don't get a whole lot from them. The parents Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen are nice, Emmet Cullen is just there, his mate Rosalie Hale is mean, Jasper Hale is the most recent addition to the clan and clearly has to refrain from having Bella for lunch, we may end up being good pals. My favorite character in the entire movie is the spunky Alice Cullen, played by Ashley Greene. she's lively, likable, and totally gorgeous, the kind of girl you'd want to go shopping with, it's a shame she doesn't have a lot to do because she was the best part.
To be honest, I hated this movie the first time I watched it, the second time I watched it months later it actually wasn't quite as painful an experience. Before I wrap this up I should talk about the good things in this movie, and there is some good here. As I said before, the love story can be interesting and after a while I was actually paying attention, the cinematography looks really good and almost dreamlike, the soundtrack is just great, and I'll admit that I kind of liked that cheesy thunderstorm baseball scene. Edward and the other vampires let Bella join them in a game of baseball, who knew watching vampires with superhuman strength and speed playing baseball could be fun. Sadly, this is a movie that isn't that bad but it isn't very good. It has a certain appeal, mostly with annoying adolescent girls who judge their favorite actors by how hot they are and not how talented they are. Overall, it's an almost tolerable movie that has its moments and occasionally tugs a heart string or two, but otherwise is dull, pretentious and suffers from having a thin story that anyone could've come up with. It has it's redeeming qualities from time to time, but not many. I almost have to admit that the whole thing about what vampires can and can't do in this film and the novel isn't that bad, considering it makes their chances of blending in better and other movies mess with what vampires can and can't do. I've yet to read any of the books as I write this and I'm tired of all the girls raving about it. If you try to enjoy it for the cheesy vampire chick flick that it is, you may enjoy it a little, or you may go head over heels for it, whatever floats your boat.