The Best Film Tarantino Never Made

Rating: 10/10 (10 August 2005)

QT wrote this film and it was directed by Tony "Ridley's Little Brother" Scott and it is, quite simply, a masterpiece. A violent masterpiece, yes, but a masterpiece nonetheless. Christian Slater must look back on this film with a sense of longing because he has not been given as good a project since (Churchill: The Hollywood Years, anyone?).
Patricia Arquette is as cute as anything and perfectly fits her role. Call me crazy, but she really seems to be enjoying playing the "hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold". In fact, everyone seems to be loving the hell out of a superb script. The scene between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken is one of cinemas greatest ever scenes! The famously egotistical Val Kilmer goes almost unseen as Elvis - sorry, The Mentor - and Brad Pitts now-famous Cleaning Products line was a brilliant ad-lib. Gary Oldman as the white-rasta Drexl is the epitome of nastiness. Even Samuel L Jackson gets a high billing in the credits, but is in the film for less than 5 minutes! Genius. By the way, check out the DVD extended/deleted scene scenes for a longer discussion on cunnilingus. It's hilarious.
All in all, this is a collection of brilliantly written scenes, filled with memorable quotes and held together by a sweet, believable and totally mad storyline with a better-than-A-list-cast. Even the tragically underused Ed Lauter gets a look-in. Tom Sizemore and Chris Penn excel as the cops on the trail. The weakest point is Bronson Pinchot, but even he keeps pace well.
My only regret is that QT didn't direct it himself. Scott did an EXCELLENT job, but I would like to see QT's version.
QT to remake True Romance and Natural Born Killers: The pressure-campaign starts here!
10 1/2 out of 10!