"Today Ain't White Boy Day Is It...?"

Rating: Null/10 (10 April 2006)

Tony Scott's "True Romance" (1994) is a cocktail mixture of action, drugs, sex and violence rollicking with the heedless enthusiasm of a newborn puppy in a Christmas box. The plot is a miasma of over-the-top situations centering on a comic store clerk and a call girl who fall in love and set about making their mark in the world. The murder of the call girl's pimp and the re-appropriation of his drug stash allow this dynamic duo to attain their dreams, but not without some bumps along the way.
Scripted by Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary, the film exists in a high-octane and bullet-riddled universe where paper-thin characters thrive with no sense of nagging morality or long term purpose. The viewer never knows what Clarence (Slater) or Alabama (Arquette) want to be, other than a mad dog killer and a gorgeous hooker, or even what they want to do, other than have sex in phone booths and watch Kung Fu movies. In fact, their long-term goal of "getting far, far away" throughout the film is revealed as spending money, making love and lying around on tropical beaches. Does this make the film not worth seeing? No: Quite the opposite.
Once the viewer realizes he is not watching a realistic film but instead a film written for twenty-something college dorm inhabitants, the film can be enjoyed for what it is: an entertaining action movie with lots of crazy dialog, fast-paced antics and bloody situations.
The two stars, Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette, are ideally cast for their roles. Slater effortlessly conveys the bored-out-of-his-mind young man who hasn't grown up and spends his time clerking at a comic book store. As the peppy hooker, Arquette's performance encapsulates the Playboy nymph of a male teendom's dreams: the breezy gal you hope would crash at your pad for a week in Daisy Duke Shorts and halter tops.
The best performances in the film are by Val Kilmer, unrecognizable as the imaginary Elvis, and Brad Pitt, who bumbles along as the stoned-beyond-all-reason roommate that is all too eager to give directions. Dennis Hopper gives a mostly by-the-numbers performance with the exception of a tense yet hilarious speech delivery on Sicilian genetics. Christopher Walken instantly tops the speech and calmly egresses with his usual cool. The icing on the cake is the talented Gary Oldman as a psychotic drug-dealing wacko-path who rants about White Boy Day and is the epitome of urban mayhem.
If you are bored on a Saturday night then I suggest you rent "True Romance" and let the chaotic genius of Tarantino Land wash over you.
**** (Four) out of ***** (Five) stars