Not only an unfaithful adaptation but an insult. Fans beware!

Rating: 4/10 (9 February 2006)

I'm aware that not many people will take the time to read Homeric poetry or the Greek plays at their leisure, but what saddens me about the movie TROY is that it is the primary impression that many people will have of the Trojan War legend.
Artistic license is expected, and when done well it is welcome. But the cliché drivel this movie buttresses its storyline and dialog on are insulting, to Greek literature *as well as* to its audience.
To begin, the 10 year war between the Spartans and the Trojans is reduced to a 16-day skirmish, with 12 non-fighting days of funeral rites. You can hardly call what happens in this movie a "war."
Don't expect too much reverence to the original story. The writing in any case is awful. When Helen mouths the anachronistic retort, "Don't play with me," you wonder if Paris will respond with, "Don't be a playah hate-ah." Subsequent dialog contains lame one-liners and grade-school history lessons, and the story comes across as visual Cliff Notes...painfully inaccurate Cliff Notes.
The cast is awful. You'll be treated to misplaced British accents (and mangled ones at that, via Brad Pitt) and formulaic historical-epic dramatics, delivering all the charm of "SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE trying to be SPARTICUS. Brad Pitt as Achilles and Orlando Bloom as Paris seem to be able to manage two different facial expressions each. Their performances were embarrassing to watch; they seem to be reading their unconvincing, mechanical,self-consciously historic dialog from cue cards. ONE REDEEMING MEMBER of this otherwise ill-talented lot IS ERIC BANA, who delivers a commendable performance as Hector. He is as I'd imagined reading "The Iliad." Thank god for him, as the rest of the cast seem to have graduated from the William Shatner School of Semantics.
Another pro to this movie's many cons is the historically correct fighting sequences. The writers must have been paying more attention to the History Channel in this regard to the detriment of other writing concerns, such as plausible character development and an explanation (or apology) for Pitt's mullet.
Watch this with caution if you are at all a fan of Greek antiquity or Classical mythology. If you are a civilian to either, I regret the fact that this will be your first impression of this story. What you have is an attempt to combine an alpha-male spectacle of violence with a TITANICesque romantic love tragedy to make the bodice-ripper, Ivory/Merchant fans swoon with wistful delight.
And sadly, it comes off as majestic as an episode of XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS.