Rather disappointing  dry dialogue, some terrible casting, screws over Homer's story, visually unexciting

Rating: 5/10 (10 June 2005)

People who have never read Homer's classic story may not be miffed, but as an ardent admirer of the play, I found the movie unfulfilling, unexciting, somewhat dull, and marred by inconsistencies, terrible acting, and bland dialogue. Also, the movie completely alters the nature of several death scenes (or eliminates the death scenes altogether), which will bother people who enjoy the play. The movie focuses much more on Achilles and his own troubles/relationships than it does on Helen and the war fought for her.
Casting Helen of Troy is pretty tricky, especially when people will have such high expectations of her beauty. Diane Kruger, while pretty, failed to meet my expectations as a woman of enough captivating beauty and personality to launch ten thousand ships. Her bland acting and monotone delivery makes her even more unattractive, and I could feel nothing between her and Paris. Orlando Bloom looks the part of Paris  young, naïve, pretty-boy  but his acting is nearly as bad as Kruger's. He is totally unconvincing in all of his scenes. Other supporting characters, like Hector (Eric Bana), King Priam (Peter O'Toole), and Odysseus (Sean Bean), are excellent in their few scenes, saving the movie from being a complete dud. Also, much commotion has been made of Brad Pitt's naked behind, and it's a very nice-looking one, but frankly, I am a bit scornful of his performance as Achilles. He certainly looks the part, but I can't believe how corny he made his lines sound! This is too bad, because Pitt is normally a pretty great actor.
However, the corniness of his delivery may be partially blamed on the terrible dialogue. A line like "Immortality! Seize it, it's yours!" is only one of the few very bad, cheesy lines in this movie, and the movie consequently plays out too soap-opera-ish and toosuperficial. There is none of the human pathos (with the exception of Peter O'Toole's scene) that is present in abundance in Homer's story. The movie is also visually unexciting. The CGI is overblown and uninteresting; it looks so artificial and grandiose that, instead of being "epic", it looks rushed and childish. To the movie's credit, though, there are some good fight scenes, notably the one between Achilles and Hector. It is also probably the best because real actors are employed, not computer-generated troops.
Worth a rental, I suppose, but don't expect too much. And probably don't watch it if you are a fan of Homer's books. 5/10.