Troy - only Wolfgang Pettersen could ruin this...

Rating: 1/10 (14 May 2004)

I'll make this short (okay, not that short): this movie should've been three movies instead of just one; there is simply no way to include even the most crucial of the events portrayed in Ilias in two and a half hours of screen time. With 160 million $ and the greatest story ever told as a script there's no way you can go wrong, right? Wrong; with Wolfgang Pettersen (remember Air Force One, one of the worst movies of all time) controlling the flow, you can! There were only two truly positive things in this movie (I'll list a few less important, but still positive aspects at the end of this review) - Brad Pitt and Eric Bana, who fit their roles exceptionally well (only Pettersen doesn't give them anything to work on so they are unable to reach their full potential).
Since the guidelines of this site prevent me from spoiling anything for you folks (and rightfully so, though it is my firm belief that everyone living in a western society should read Ilias; it is an essential part of our cultural heritage!) I won't. I will, however, tell you that this movie has very little to do with the actual story by Homer - only a few key points are maintained by Pettersen. Many key characters are missing, (Diomedes, Ajax [Ajax, son of Oileu; son of Telamon is in the movie], Sarpedon, Memnon, Penthesilea and Cassandra, to name a few) or portrayed in horrendous contrast to the actual characters in Ilias. Also, the casting of the movie is terrible, barring the exceptions of Brad Pitt (Achilles), the actor for Patroklus (whoever he was), Eric Bana (Hector), Peter O' Toole (Priam), Sean Bean (Odysseus) and, arguably, Orlando Bloom (Paris).
Setting all of these horrific shortcomings aside (and many, many, many others which I have not the room to state here), one might ask: A) does this movie entertain someone who hasn't read the book and who isn't chained by the original story? B) Does the movie survive more than one viewing? The answers to these questions are as follows: A) probably not, and B) hell no!
Finally, I'll leave you with some of the very few positive things to be found in Troy: 1) Troy is as it should be. 2) The fleet is as it should be. 3) The masses are as they should be. And finally, 4) the setting is accurately portrayed.
Thank you for your patience, I hope you'll find this review helpful in making your decision to go and see (or not) this...piece of work.
-Nikolas Belmont