Stupidity is as stupidity does - and this movie is STOOOOPID!

Rating: Null/10 (18 May 2004)

I went to see this flick, against my better judgment, on the basis of a Chicago Tribune review. Even as a 50s-style epic this film was a disappointment.
Its claim to be based on Homer's "Iliad" is outrageous. Except for the names of the characters and places plus a few brief scenes lifted from the great epic poem, it was nothing like its supposed source. The violations of the classic story line are very many. One of the biggest is that the Trojan War was ten years long, not less than a month as in the movie. The gods, especially Apollo and Athena, who are major and essential characters in Homer, are entirely absent here. Helen went back to Sparta with Menelaus and they lived for several years after the war. Achilles' mother, far from urging her son to go to war, tried to hide him when Agamemnon's people came to get him. Agamemnon was not killed by Briseis but by his wife, Clytemnestra, on his return home as revenge for sacrificing their daughter Iphigenia to Poseidon in return for a safe sea voyage to Troy. The actual numbers of Greeks and Trojans involved in the war was probably in the hundreds, not in the tens of thousands depicted here. Anyone who has actually read the Iliad can see many, many more violations of that classic's story and themes.
Suppose we say, "it's Hollywood and just entertainment, so don't be so pedantic!" I would answer that the acting is leaden (except where it was outright hammy - shame on you Peter O'Toole and Brian Cox!), the screenplay is lame, the characters are one-dimensional, the action scenes go on far too long (at the expense of the story), the cinematography is nothing special, and the special effects (digitalized ships, soldiers, and cities) looked phony. "Troy" has been compared to "Spartacus" and "Ben-Hur" but it is more like Steve Reeves in "Hercules." The one thing that could have saved "Troy" would have been a tongue-in-cheek attitude, but it was in deadly earnest from first frame to last.
I suppose those who are into masculine physicality (as a source of power or sexual fantasy perhaps) can enjoy it. People with very low standards for plot and character but who love lots of action (and I do love the kind of action movies that don't take themselves too seriously) will enjoy this film. I stayed to the end, even though I knew "Troy" is a travesty ten minutes in, because it was like watching a train wreck. I wanted to see how bad it was really going to be. In that it exceeded my expectations.
For those who would like to see an epic film with a strong story line, interesting characters, and impressive camera work I recommend "Spartacus," (USA) "The Emperor and the Assassin," (China) "Alexander Nevsky" (Russia) and "Ran." (Japan) For a much more exciting, heroic, and interesting epic story I recommend reading "The Iliad." There are several prose translations for those who would be put off by poetry.