Imagine this movie is Dick Cheney trying to seduce you.....

Rating: Null/10 (25 May 2004)

And act accordingly. I have no clue why I expected anything beyond meaningless ab shots and fight scenes from this unsalted popcorn flick, but for some reason I did. It is beyond horrible, and it frightens me how abundant movies of it's ilk have become (Lord Of The Rings, The Alamo, Last Samuri, King Arthur, a bunch of people a long time ago fighting an opposing bunch of people from a long time ago). I realize this has been a staple of action for as long as action needed a staple, but the last year has been kind of overkill. The dialogue of this monstrosity would have been vastly improved had it been mimed by Harpo Marx. Brad Anniston screaming "Hector" for ten minutes not only was unnecessary, but it disturbed the cat nap I was trying to take. I would comment on it's historical accuracy, except it doesn't exist. They should have used the budged for this flick to advance a more productive cause, like euthanasia. I don't know why I saw it, but I feel it's my mission to lead unknowing cinema patrons away from it. Negative one star.