Not What I expected, Classically Speaking

Rating: Null/10 (13 July 2004)

Warning - possible spoiler here.
"Troy" isn't the right name for this film. "Helen Who?", "The Boy from Troy" or just "Brad" would have suited it better. Fair enough, no one said Helen had to be the star like in every other movie made about Troy. She was there, but only just.
The real star of this epic is Achilles (Brad Pitt). And that's fair enough, too. A forty year old hunk in a skirt is bound to draw Greek-epic-loving audiences.
Eric Bana plays a great Hector but he's Australian so we expect that.
Orlando Bloom disappoints as Paris (the prince, not the city). I liked him in "The Lord of The Ring" movies. He was particularly good in "The Return of The King" where, as an elf with attitude, he brought down huge elephant-like war machines, armed only with bow, arrows and pony tail (him, not the elephant thingies). He looked great; but most people look good standing next to an Ork. Anyway, I was disappointed in him this time. Frankly, he seemed a bit wimpy, especially when he's lying in the dust hanging onto his big brother's ankle.
But, back to Brad. Obviously the screenwriter thought Homer and his "Iliad" was just too, er, Greek. So, the storyline needed a bit of change to incorporate Brad, the boy from Shawnee Oklahoma.
It's all about Brad; he works the role, from show pony with a sword, to redneck with a sword, to unwilling warrior with a sword, to priestess ravisher with, er, you know, to finish as a sorta nice guy but no sword, just an arrow in the wrong place.
Overall, if you're looking for a strict version of the original, forget this movie. But there's action aplenty, even though Achilles fights more like a ballet dancer than a battle demon.