Forgettable, but full of eye candy

Rating: 4/10 (7 May 2004)

Here I am, fresh from a preview screening of Troy...um, what can I say? I feel pretty apathetic about the movie as a whole. In a couple of days I'll probably forget it; it was rather unremarkable.
Why? Well, from the start, I was pretty disappointed in the lack of gods. I have not read the Iliad, but what I do know of the story is through my interest in Greek mythology. Taking the myth out of the story took some of my interest out of the movie. Besides, the location of Achille's...hrm, painful wound...has no significance if the myth is left out. My friend, who wasn't familiar with the story, didn't understand until I explained it to her after we'd watched the movie.
The movie didn't do much to suck me into the storyline. I didn't feel that involved for a long time, perhaps until after they started fighting. Then as things started to really happen, I guess I got a little more interested. I couldn't pick out all the departures from the Iliad, but the end felt a little wrong. Not exactly sure why, but it did.
Brad Pitt, by the way, was pretty hot. This movie sure is full of eye candy. That is probably its only redeeming quality. An all-around good-looking cast, nice battle armor, beautiful costuming, nice blood effects, pretty Trojan city (though it was so perfect that I had trouble believing it was a real city) and some relatively sweet battle scenes. Well, the ones with the armies weren't all that impressive. I think someone said it already, but yeah, after Lord of Rings, my standards have been raised. Troy sadly did not meet those standards. But the battles between individuals were a little better. The one with Paris in it might have intended to be serious but it turned out to be the most comic scene in the whole movie. The one between Achilles and Hector kinda made me want to go back to my dorm and play Soul Calibur II. I'm not entirely sure if that says something good about that scene.
Oh yes, the worst thing the director did with Orlando Bloom was hand him a bow and arrow. I think Bloom will forever be associated with Legolas and having him shoot more arrows in the same Legolas way is really not helping him shake that association.
I said at the beginning of this review that I'd probably forget this movie in a couple of days. Well, it's been almost two hours since I've seen it and it is already slipping from my mind as I try to think of more things to say about it. So, I'll end by saying that I wouldn't recommend watching this if you are expecting to see a piece of wonderful cinema. However, if it's a rainy afternoon with nothing to do and someone else is offering to buy a ticket for you, go for it.