Please kill me Achilles!

Rating: 2/10 (21 April 2005)

If you crap into a 200 million dollar box, you still have crap inside! I love historical epics (braveheart, gladiator, and rob Roy), I love epics in general (lord of the rings trilogy), but this movie doesn't even deserve to be ranked with any of these. Its boring, poorly acted (my goodness, Brad Pitt is so bad in this movie its painful), and just bad. Oh, Helen of Troy is only average looking at best, I couldn't imagine her face sinking a thousand ships. Orlando Bloom's character is very gay, his brother Hector (Eric Bana) is a unconvincing war veteran and acted about as good as he did in Hulk (blah!) I bought this movie brand new for 12 dollars and in a year it will be in the five dollar bin at wal-mart, I am willing to bet that this is one of the biggest flops of all time...