Is brad using botox?

Rating: 6/10 (27 April 2006)

I now understand why this film got the mixed reviews it did? What on earth is supposed to be going on? Now I studied ancient Greece at school (not in depth) I thought the Trojan war lasted 20 years? I understand from film purposes you can't really have such a large time scale but I thought this was an EPIC!! The Bad points: Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom were truly awful. I think Paris was actually spot on but I get the feeling it was due to lack of talent in Blooms acting ability. Brad Pitt resulted in doing what every bad actress usually does in that situation  whips their clothing off and hopes no one will notice. Well Bradly we did!! When he is told that his Cousin (don't get me started on that!) has been killed he looked like he had a bad case of trapped wind. He stands around looking like someone stole his teddy, he lays around and broods, he defies the Gods (which I doubt he would have done). In the Iliad Achilles is arrogant but he is at least likable. I wanted someone to spank him! Whatever his mood (if it wasn't moody or sulky) more or less looked the same. I have to be fair it wasn't only Pitt and Bloom who failed to meet expectations others in the cast were as bad it's just that as main characters they were repeat offenders. Diane Kruger killed what should have been an absolute brilliant part to play, I think she was miscast (very pretty but I don't think she would have launched a canoe let alone1000 ships) and her and Bloom also suffered from a bad script. Peter O'Toole was wasted (the man himself said how awful the film was) what was the point of having Julie Christie in it? I feel a lot of good actors were sorely underused.
The changing of certain story lines. Achilles had a MALE lover (for viewers who are not familiar with The Iliad in the film his lover is his cousin), surely it wouldn't have hurt the film to keep this in, or to at least have been ambiguous about it, not make them blood related. Also I maybe wrong here (forgive me) but Achilles never actually makes it into Troy, he is killed by Paris after Achilles kills Hector. I guess the studios didn't want Mr Pitt to cop it too early  Why, did they hope the audience would stay just to see if Brad would lose his clothing again? Staying on the Brad Pitt naked theme, did we need to see him sandwiched between two (or was it three) lithe women? Was this to hammer home the point that Achilles was a red blooded warrior? We didn't need this at all. The point of Achilles heterosexuality was laboured home, far too often and detracted from the story.
The GOOD points: There weren't many, although I thought the scale was portrayed well, especially when all the Ships are in hiding it did make my eyes widen.
The hand to hand battles were excellently done (on a par with Gladiator) the blood, the guts, the confusion were wonderfully portrayed by all the cast involved, even the bad man management was well done.
Hector, he made me root for the Trojans. Eric Bana did a brilliant job although he should have been a bit more of a Neanderthal. A bad script did hamper him occasionally but he did the best he could and it showed, I also liked Saffron Burrows as his wife(although the character was wet  I would have thrown Helen over the city walls, Hector dies because of her!!). After Hector had been dispensed with I lost interest.
Brian Cox (Agamemnon) was as watchable(if a little theatrical) as ever and managed to create some light hearted moments in the film, Rose Byrne as Briseis was excellent, she gave the scenes that she was in with Pitt some credibility, she showed some genuine emotion and I hope to see her in more.
The person who I was not only truly impressed with was the man who was criminally underused, Sean Bean. This man made me want to weep, every scene he was in he managed to steal  I admit considering how bad the rest of the cast were that wouldn't be too hard but he did it with such aplomb. He played Odysseus, who was not only a very capable warrior but also a brilliant thinker (the man came up with the Trojan horse for Christ sakes) and he can't have been in it for more than half an hour. Whenever you heard the Yorkshire/ RP accent of Bean you knew the film was on the straight and narrow, He shamed Pitt in acting ability, he looked more at home on the battlefield than most of the stunt men and he strode around the show generally looking like he was in charge (and he was as Odysseus and as Sean bean). I just wish he could have had more screen time.
All in all, a popcorn epic that went astray. It could have been so good, had they got a better script, used certain members of the cast to better effect and also got rid of that awful wailing music in the background!!!