I thought Cecil B. DeMille was Dead!

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2004)

I watched this film just waiting for Charleton Heston to pop up from behind a rock or sand dune. Sheesh! Talk about your corn-ball 1950's re-makes! Someone tell Wolfgang that we're in 2004 now! Please! The music was stale, the camera work was stale and choppy (too many, too tight shots with the tops of the characters' heads lopped off), lame & uninteresting dialog.... I thought I was watching a made-for-TV mini-series all in one sitting. Then there was the "Look-everyone!-it's Peter O'Toole!" shot - or the "Hey! Remember me? I'm-not-dead-yet-Peter-O'Toole" shot. Yeah, yeah. We KNOW who Peter O'Toole is. Glad you were able to get him for this film. Congrats. Too much emphasis on special effects to carry the film, which simply cannot make up for this ineffective and weak screenplay, and really simple-minded dialog. Sure, it was nice to see good-looking, half naked men running all over this film, but that's about its greatest redeeming quality. (All I kept thinking about Achilles was, "Gee. Jennifer Aniston's a lucky woman!)Helen's character was severely lacking in any development whatsoever; I mean, HELLO! - she's the reason this story even happened. Otherwise, just another re-run period piece. A total schnoooooooozer. Zzzzzzzzzzz. -pj