took a while to realize it was disappointing

Rating: 2/10 (20 May 2004)

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS***
Honestly, I came in psyched. I was ready for this movie, even though I knew they were going to take certain liberties concerning the original story of Homer. I was ready for them. I sat through Braveheart's historical liberties and accepted them; and Gladiator turned out wonderful. The few liberties in Lord of the Rings were mainly improvements, and were done with such respect and love for the text that they didn't seem like liberties as all.
I'm now wondering if Wolfgang read any Homer; honestly.
Here was my thought process throughout the movie.
*Spoilers*
First off, they took out the gods. How can you take out the gods? They were essential to the story. There was no getting around them. Making the plot about geo-politics somehow worked though, so I grumbled and sat through it. The effects were neat. OK. No gods. I can move on.
Man, there's some damn good acting in this. Bean, Pitt, Cox, Bloom; they're just acting all over the place. That was a terrible line, and it almost sounded good. That's good acting.
WHAT?! Wait a sec, no, Achilles was a kid who waded into columns of people and created pools of blood; then went home and coerced the slave women. They better not turn Briseus into a love story......
They at least kept Hector and Ulyses the way they were supposed to be.
They're turning this into a love story, and Brad Pitt is somehow going to be the hero of the film, I know it.
Y'know, if you're going to make a T & A film for girls, you should represent it as such; call it "Brad Pitt sometimes in a skirt" and allow all of us the foreknowledge. Don't dress it up as a cool History Drama which this isn't turning out to be.
OK, the siege is wrapping up pretty darn quick. This was supposed to be 10 years with a lot more stuff thrown in.
No. Absolutely not. Achilles didn't DO that! No No No! (people in front of me walking out of the theatre exclaiming "this is bull") They are turning Achilles into a Hollywood Hero and killing the essence of the character. Completely.
Acchiles; the central character through much of the book, is no longer Achilles. He's now the Hollywood all American poster character. It's like if someone made Harry Potter a blonde haired blue eyed American who randomly threw footballs and got along with his family. That's terrible.
And that just Cheesy the way Agamemnon bought it.
The AENEID?!! Throwing Virgil's cheese into this as well?? Sadly, I think they just did it to leave themselves open to make a 3rd sequel. That's utterly terrible.
So there it is. I could have put up with nearly everything they took with the story until they changed Achilles central character. The big difference between other successful book movies is that this one was made without any reverence for the tex; and it shows.
If you like standard Hollywood fluff and haven't read Homer, see it.
If not, you'll be sitting there, jaw agape, eye's watering, clutching at the seat at the end of the movie wondering why you came.