Greeks ? Greeks ? Spartans ? Where are you ????

Rating: Null/10 (4 April 2007)

Oh lord, you mean to tell me these are Spartans ? or Greeks even ? I doubt at all that Brad Pitt knows anything about acting as a Spartan would. Apparently, if you're Spartan, you have long, clean blond hair and are starring in the most homo-erotic movie of the century. This seems to be a problem for most people to swallow, considering that people call Pitt a man's-man or the dashing lady killer. I don't think it crossed his mind that the skimpy little outfits he and the "other Spartans" were wearing added to the effect. Or, in ancient Greece, the concept of homosexuality at least was not defined, although men did have relations with younger boys just before the onset of puberty.
This seems to be the only thing good about this movie, considering that everything else is a haughty kill fest with no tension other than the occasional stretching and recoiling of men's bikini briefs by fellow Spartans. Mostly, the grunty, yet pretty soldiers here are getting their rocks off by running around in feathered helmets and doing little tricks in their chariots while Achilles prances in the air with that same kill move he uses in the film repeatedly. He's always oily and sweaty, and fine . . . he sleeps with the one woman, but you know what ??? Spartans and the rest of the people in Greece did the same while having sex with younger boys ! Go figure ! If you've read up on your history, Troy is a little out of context considering that Spartans found anything except war and fighting to be frivolous. They didn't even season what they ate let alone their sexual endeavors.
If you've never read up on Greek or Spartan history this movie is quite entertaining for those who failed high school social studies/history. But I must admit, even if you're a history buff, you'll have fun pointing out the little homosexual innuendos present in Troy.
I wouldn't recommend not watching this movie because there is no intended plot other than to "recreate ?" a particular part of history, and transpose it into something unbelievable, modern and devoid of mystery. You know what's going to happen at every turn !!! despite what you see ! I'd rent "9 Inches To Heaven" before watching this again, and I hate porno.