Jesus Christ (Homer shakes his head)

Rating: 1/10 (25 December 2004)

I am a huge fan of ancient Greek (and other) mythologies, so when I saw the 3 hour debacle they called Troy, I thought, holy s*** what a waste of more than $200 million.
The story is fundamentally flawed with Petersons removal of the Olympians. The Olympians are used mainly as a contrast to the going ons of the war. The removal of them undermines Homer's and therefore the movie's portrayal of the 'human spirit'. And not only that, the the inclusion of the Olympians would have added almost another dimension to the film, with some moments being almost comedic.
Another major pothole was the killing of the major characters and the destruction of the plot. The thing that shocked me the most was the slaying of Menelaus. Menelaus had been the epitome of mercy and forgiveness in the Illiad. The destruction of that character is the equivalent of poking out Jesus's eyes at birth and cutting off his legs. Another death that was misplaced and generally messed up was the death of Ajax. In the legend, Ajax was not killed in battle but killed himself at the funeral games for Achilles. In fact Ajax nearly succeeded in killing Hector on more than one occasion, so I think Hector killing both Ajax and Menelaus within 10 minutes of each other is grossly misleading. Besides the (untimely)death of Menelaus, the other shocker in the movie was how Briseis kills Agamemnon. If Wolfgang had written the story those thousands of years ago, then Clytemnestra, Aegisthus, Orestes and Electra would have been nobodies.
The plot is also hugely flawed with cultural cross references and utter chaos in general in the story. Firstly, in the beginning scene in Thessaly, the armies of 'Unified Greeks' did not march en-masse as shown but in divisions. Secondly the hierarchy in the movie shows that the 'former' kings were like slaves to Agamemnon, contrastingly in mythology (and in reality I might add)they were still kings who governed their own lands and were held together by a 'commision', so to speak, with Agamemnon at their head, hence the King of Kings. Thirdly, the armor and weaponry of the time were standardized throughout the Aegean and the Mediterranean, so the differences in armor and weapon design among the Greeks and the Trojans is not particularly correct. Fourthly, the Spartan culture at the time was Spartan! They didn't have fine clothes or luscious feasts for themselves and even for guests. The dancers at the end of the feast would have also had to be naked to portray the true culture of the Spartans and to understand their opinions on beauty (but this would have been difficult as the rating would have to be higher, in other countries and wouldn't reach it's target audiences). Yet another mistake was Andromache leaving with Paris, Helen, Briseis and Aeneas. Of the five just mentioned, only Aeneas escapes Troy while Paris is killed in the fighting before; Andromache becomes a slave of Achilles son,; Briseis is not mentioned at the end of the Illiad and it is assumed she remains a slave in Achilles household and Helen is returned to Menelaus.
The most disturbing things about the movie are as follows: - Aeneas, Troy's second greatest warrior does NOT fight -Paris never used a sword (except for his duel), his bow is used as a symbol of his cowardice throughout the poem -Wolfgang's use of style for Orlando Blooms portrayal of Paris' archery uncannily resembles Legolas of LotR -While in other movies such as LotR the music blends in with the story, in Troy the music is blatant and stands out too much -The 'love story' between Achilles and Briseis never occurred. She was merely his slave who Agamemnon took because of his pride (long story and at this point I don't think you want to hear it) -The argument doesn't start until the 9TH YEAR -Some may say that the war is supposed to last 10 years, but with this s***ty story would you sit through it? -Patroclus was Achilles childhood friend, not his cousin and lastly . . . -WAY TOO MANY SHOTS OF BRAD PITT'S A**.