Welcome to hell

Rating: 1/10 (23 December 2007)

Movie hell.
Aristotle considered Homer's Illiad the greatest tragic poem next to Sophocles' Oedipus. You will never know why if you only see this supposed movie version. The only tragedy here was that it was ever made; no, there's a worse tragedy, that thousands of young people think they're being 'entertained' by this simplistic Saturday Morning cartoon show version of the story.
This wimpoid characters are so poorly acted, you want them all to die. Troy is so poorly designed as an 'ancient city', you can't help wondering if humans would have been better off staying in caves - this can't be a 'civilization', it's so plastic. The battle sequences are hilarious. The dialog is repetitious and just plain dumb. Brad Pitt - that's the punchline to a joke - "Satan took bad acid and cast who for the role of Achilles? - Brad Pitt! Hahahahahahaha!" This is not simply an over-simplification and it is in no way an 'update'. This is a betrayal - of the audiences, of the very notion that there could be some such thing as 'adventure', of the notion that life can be fully lived - a betrayal of life itself.
If you like this film, don't bother committing suicide, you're dead already.
And when you're dead, you burn in hell - for the sins of "Troy".