How to murder Homer in one lesson.

Rating: 1/10 (7 August 2006)

I mean, if screen-players were criminals, David Benioff was Jack the Ripper. How did this thing could ever became true? This is outrageous! If Homer had been able to see this film, he would commit suicide before the first half an hour of the film.
What happened in Wolfgang Petersen mind? I saw Perfect Storm and it's a entertaining movie. Not this mess!
Trojan temples would NEVER look like Egyptian temples!
Even they have the brilliant idea of turning Agamemnon a psychopath maniac, when he has a lack of Honor to protect, when he's intelligent, when he is commanding Greek troops, not leaving all the work to Achilles!
This film is only to show some of the most expansive cheap battle scenes ever made, Diane Kruger's body to boys and Brad Pitt's body to girls.
What happened to Cassandra, the sister of Paris that had premonitions? What happened to Clymenestra? They certainly get lost in this shredded story. I think that, with this to characters, the story would be a million times better.
The plot, even for those who had never heard about Troy, was as predictable as the number that comes after "1" is "2".
Every "epic features" such as Troy, King Arthur, Alexander the Great, Kingdom of Heaven, etc. follow the same scheme:
1- The hero: Great warrior, with a very troubled mind (indispensable!), and a melodramatic love affair.
2- The greatest friend of the hero: Killed. Whatever you do with the plot THIS character has to be killed!
3- Villain: This character in this movies is always in the same side of the war as the hero, although they have different opinions.
4- Semi-villain: This is the commander of the opponent's armies. He's, sometimes, almost a good character, and all of them, the most successful character in the movie.
5- Hero's "Girlfriend": She is always there to make the usual love part of the movie. Dramatic or even with a more troubled mind that the hero.
After seeing this movie and cursing the hour when I've paid 10 for this "junk movie", I remembered the 2003's TV movie "Helen of Troy". That movie is a billion times better than this stupid film.