unbearable meatloaf

Rating: 1/10 (30 May 2005)

Troy is a meatloaf: you take some rests of cold beef, etc., you mixed everything and voilá: an unbearable stuff you scarcely can swallow - surely not enjoy. Even if we let beside the fact that the movie has only slightly to do with Homer (and I do not refer just to the plot: it's the epic which is missing, and no special effects or computerized armies could make this even), the movie is highly implausible. It makes ancient Greeks thinking, speaking and acting as if they were contemporary Americans. You could think of it as a SciFi-movie and imagine they are all on some planet far far away, instead of in ancient Troy, and it will still work (or better: NOT work). It is really a sort of Hi-Tech Hercules: the same ignorance (did they even think of making some serious research on the topic, or did they only watched some bad Italian Maciste movie from the 60s?), the same dull dialogs, the same bad acting (with some exceptions: Sean Bean, Peter O'Toole and few others). It is just one of those awful movies, in which the bad guys are really bad, the good guys are really good, and there is a bad guy who eventually becomes a good guy because of the love of a pure girl but has to die. I wasted 2:40 hours of my life - except for the few seconds in which you may enjoy Brad Pitt's naked bottom. May Zeus strike Pedersen with His lighting! (This is not meant to be a blasphemy, dear IMDb friends: I indeed worship Zeus)