How to waste 2 hours 43 mins and NOT get it back!!!

Rating: 1/10 (5 August 2005)

Where to begin? Bad acting, awful script, infused with nonsensical regional accents-since when did Odysseus come from Sheffield???!-Brad Pitt's accent varies from "American Gravitas" to effeminate Englishman-and NO relevance to history/Homer/reality or indeed quality. Ridiculous costumes-with no (and I know this being a history graduate) bearing on what should have been worn, for example what is Odysseus wearing on his head? Is it a papier mache hat he made between takes? And what an awful surprise that it should be Wolfgang Petersen directing-was he ill? Did he bump his head? Am I going to wake from a deep sleep a la Pam Ewing in "Dallas" and find this has all been a horrible nightmare-is Wolfgang Petersen gonna wake from a deep sleep a la Pam Ewing in "Dallas"... Oh, this could have been so much better!!! Maybe if the Muppets had made it-it might have turned out OK. Probably not! This is cr*p! No, really it IS!