Horrific, hackneyed rubbish

Rating: 3/10 (6 June 2004)

This movie gives new meaning to the concept of Greek tragedy. It's a tragedy the Greeks are forced to endure any association whatsoever with this overhyped compilation of tortured dialogue, hyperbole, miscasting and incompetent direction.

There are no spoilers to follow. Nothing could spoil this movie for anybody. It's slow. It's dull. The cast went through the motions, just not nearly fast enough. Handpuppets could have put more real emotion into the effort.
The good news is that Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom give their greatest performances to date in this movie. The bad news is that Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom gave their greatest performances to date in this movie. This saga should lay to rest any lingering rumors that either of them have potential to waste. They don't. The rest of the cast reportedly were paid for their work and that's more than any of them deserved. As least they came out ahead on deal.
I gave this a 3 out of 10, but only because the popcorn was fresh and nobody stepped on me as they walked out in the middle.