Felt like Oedipus 1/2 way into it- wanted to poke my eyes out

Rating: 1/10 (12 October 2005)

Wow this was bad, I don't know where to start, OK, let's take it category by category:
CAST Brad Pitt - He usually makes good choices about the roles he takes, this was an exception. His face is too well known and modern to be in historical movies, it's like, 'Hey! it's Brad Pitt pretending to be an ancient Greek!' His Achilles has no redeeming characteristics and I was very much looking forward to seeking him take an arrow in the heel.
Orlando Bloom - Displays his usual wimpiness, which, surprisingly, is actually a good thing. I wish the script writers would have been even less true to the source material and have Paris remain in Greece during the war.
Eric Bana - I found him to be the only sympathetic character in the entire film, with the exception of Ulysses, and he was little more than a cameo. Bana's Hector has a dignity and reservation about him that was very noble and watchable.
PRODUCTION VALUES Sets - Far too neat and clean, looked like something out of a theme-park; "The City of Troy - Sponsored by Pepsi".
Costumes - Same as above, everyone looked like a casino greeter at Caesars Place.
DIRECTION I know for sure now that Wolfgang sold his soul to the devil for "Das Boot", lets just leave it at that. Didn't have the guts to even hint at the real nature of Achilles' grief... sellout.
CONCLUSION If you don't know the Iliad from Icarus and enjoy watching Brad Pitt scream and smack everyone in sight while covered with what I can only assume is JP4 jet fuel, it's the flick for you.