Argh

Rating: 6/10 (20 May 2004)

OK, lemme first say that I wanted to like this movie. I REALLY wanted to enjoy this movie and hoped it would tell one of the greatest stories ever heard beautifully. Alas, it does not reach its lofty goal.
OK, we start with the cast. Very well cast for the most part, except in one tiny little insignificant character who didn't mean much to the story named Achilles. Well, maybe not that insignificant. Brad Pitt is a good actor I guess, but not for a moment do I believe him to be this afflicted, tortured soul who also happens to be the greatest warrior of all time. Otherwise, the cast is dead on with great performances from Eric Bana and Sean Bean. Orlando Bloom pretty much just plays Orlando Bloom as Paris, the handsomest man in the world who gets his a**e kicked by a big fatty Greek.
If there is one thing you can truly love in this film, it is the special effects. I listened to Roger Ebert's review who somehow thought that because there were so many Greeks and Trojans on-screen at one time that it pulls you out of the realism and reminds you this is just a movie. Wait, what? Ahem, my rebuttal: bulls**t. whatever else you want to say about this movie, it has CGI effects, from the amazing battle scenes to Troy itsef, which are rendered beautifully, though apparently a very large part of the city was actually built.
But in the end, how does the movie really hold up where it counts; I found the dialogue to be, to use the technical term, summermovie-ish. There are a few great scenes, particularly when Priam, the father of the slain Hector, confronts his killer and begs to have his son's body returned. But when Brad Pitt remarks "It's too early in the day for killing princes" I almost laughed at the stupidity.
despite its flaws, I still walked out of the movie with a smile on my face, though that might have been because one of my buddies ran into the soda dispenser on the way out. Troy is a good flick for people who want to see lots of men in small pants charge at each other screaming bloody murder, and then commence in the brutal slaying of one another. I enjoyed it despite its misgivings, and will recommend it for the summer lineup
7/10