If at first you don't succeed, Troy, Troy, again...

Rating: 7/10 (11 June 2004)

It constantly amazes me how, despite the uncounted original works of fiction that have never seen conversion to celluloid, Hollywood continues its tedious remake schedule of old, already done-to-death films. Of course, Hollywood covers up this trend with the new buzz-word "re-imagining", to describe this remake trend. But a remake is still just a remake, no matter how badly you muck about with the story and characters or how many CGI effects you can cram in.

So it is with Troy. Though not an awful film by any means, it really doesn't stand out as anything memorable. In fact, it had the feel of one of those old Italian sword-and-sandals epics from yesteryear, just with better known actors.
The film moves along at a good pace and there is plenty of action, but it's not really edge of the seat stuff. Most of the actors give OK performances but the only one who seemed to have any passion for the role was Eric Bana, as Hector. The others just seemed to plod along. Orlando Bloom didn't seem at all comfortable with his role, at least, not until he had a bow in his hands. Peter O'Toole gave one of his usual "I might launch into a manic moment at any time" performances, though mercifully, he never does. And Brad Pitt.....Hmmm. Brad Pitt as Achilles, a legendary hero. Well, I have to admit that he certainly worked out a great deal and looked great. But he didn't seem to me to project the commanding power that the role required. Maybe if he'd been a few inches taller.....
Overall there isn't much plot. The whole film is just an excuse for one battle scene after another. It's as if the writers decided that the audience knew the basic plot anyway, so they didn't need to do anything other than write "insert battle scene here" at various points in the script. In fact, this is a rare occasion for me. I have to say that I felt the battles actually got in the way of any story there might have been quite badly. As a result the movie is essentially one long series of battles interspersed with idle chatter and thin attempts to develop the characters.
Oh, and how Wolfgang and Co must have laughed at their little "Achilles' Heel" joke at the end. That was one of the most awful contrived moments I've seen for a long time. Laugh it up Wolfgang....made your money back yet?
All in all it entertains, though it is definitely NOT destined to be remembered alongside such old epics as Ben Hur or The Ten Commandments. Watch this movie for the battle scenes, which, whilst well done, are most definitely overhyped. Supposedly the most gory and realistic battle scenes committed to celluloid, they are, nonetheless, quite ordinary as far as I am concerned and could have benefited from some imaginative choreography.

Not bad, but not good either.