Careful boy, my mercy has limits.

Rating: 5/10 (21 February 2005)

My feelings on Troy are mixed. While I did enjoy the action/war scenes that reminded me of Lord of the Rings, there was the small detail to the story and plot that just completely blew my mind. Why, if you are going to make a history epic such as this, would you focus so intently on the characters that the story (which should have been the star of the film) pretty much falls to the wayside? I think that it has something to do with who you have carrying your story. If you have actors that are a little less defined in their careers, perhaps you would focus more on the story giving us the way that Homer would have been happy with. Instead, we headline huge actors to carry the roles and focus more on the shirtless wonders of the world instead of the written word. It is sad and unforgivable at the same time.
To begin, let me tell you what I really liked about this film, which shouldn't take up too much space, but is still worthy of mention. I loved the grand scale of this film. When I read Homer's work, I didn't think of this tiny little incident that felt and looked like a back lot to a movie studio. I wanted epic visions of land, wars, and chaos. I wanted to be placed right in the action by being transported to the era visually and audibly. Director Wolfgang Petersen did this with the greatest of ease. This is a big production film, and he never allowed us to forget that. Second, I enjoyed the smaller stories of this film. The hints and references made to the culture at the time that allowed those three years of Latin class, Greek Mythology, and history of Troy seemed to constantly keep a grin on my face and my mind in motion. It reminded me of Disney's Hercules, one of the most under-appreciated Disney films out there. There were subtle hints and clever moments that just placed that intelligent smile on your face. Troy did the same even threw in a couple "fun" CGI moments for everyone to share, but sadly that was it.
If you could turn the sound off on your television or surround sound and watch this film, you probably will experience a better picture than I did. From the opening scene until the very anti-climactic moment in Troy, the hardest trouble that I had was the accents that accompanied our actors. Brian Cox is one of the worst as I nearly found myself laughing in hysteria when he bellowed his first lines in a very un-Greek British accent. This was followed by Orlando Bloom dawning a very unmasculine British accent coupled with Peter O'Toole looking very un-Trojan in his element. If that wouldn't have been the tip of the ice cream, we were allowed to add sprinkles with the grunting force of Brad Pitt as our heroine/anti-heroine Achilles. Taking moments from Rocky and Cobra, Pitt gives us his worst performance to date as a man given the strength of millions, but the emotions of a child. It is sad to see Pitt butcher such an amazing character and never look back in suspicion. This was not the role for him, and somebody (even the best boy) should have stepped out of his place to inform the Hollywood hitter that perhaps he was making a grave mistake. Unfortunately, nobody came through and Troy was created and the power of Fight Club was thrown right out the window. Corporate Hollywood had its field day in the Trojan sun.
Another steaming issue that I had with this film was the pacing and timing of the overall picture. Why did it take two hours to get to the most popular moment of the film? Why did Petersen bog the viewers down with idle moments of passion and unnecessary character development when really we were most interested in learning about the infamous "Trojan Horse" and the "Achilles Heel" references? I would hate to say it, but those were two of the reasons why I was very interested in seeing this film. I wanted to see Petersen's portrayal of this historical moment, but instead what I discovered was that choppy editing left too much on the sandy desert floor. It felt, at least to me, that the ending was very rushed and very underdeveloped. The ending seemed cheaper to me, and without giving anything away, almost out of the precedent set forth by the beginning of the film. I think Petersen knew that he had run out of time and the budget was already too big, so the ending was forced to suffer. This ultimately hurt the film more than helped it giving it that sensation of a two-week science project done the night before. I felt sorry for those involved with this droopy ending.
To be honest, you had a very powerful story here that failed due to corporate Hollywood deciding to cast big names to fill the parts and place more emphasis on who was going to get the most screen time instead of story. The actors hurt this film more than most will imagine because they just never fully represented the power of Homer's work. I would have never imagined seeing Brad Pitt fighting along in Greek/Trojan times, and even after seeing this film I still cannot. Brian Cox, normally fascinating in every film he does, just fell flat on his face in this film with the yelping of British words during this era. It didn't fit causing the epic to quickly transform into nothing for that another summer blockbuster. The story didn't help much either, forcing us to desperately want to get back into our High School Latin class to relive the truth of the story one last time.
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Grade: *** out of *****