Semper ubi sub ubi, Brad.

Rating: 8/10 (5 June 2004)

Clocking in at two hours, fifty-five minutes - less ten if you pass on the final credits- 'Troy' has thrice your daily dose of testosterone, while offering a chance to redeem those tuition dollars you invested in your liberal education. If Achilles took my tagline advice, he may have survived to pillage and plunder. And no, it has nothing to do with ankle armor.
'Troy' has a good balance of action and plot development with special effects that don't rely on a darkening screen. The scope of the Iliad calls for lavish treatment, larger than life performers, spectacular effects and a cast of ...well who can really tell? With the revelations of those (Star-Wars) special-effects geeks that portrayed the cheering throng as really a bunch of multi-colored Q-Tips, who can really believe our eyes anymore. The casting of Troy was epic alone, with many of the major and most of the minor talent of the Anglo-Saxon stage and screen. You couldn't throw a spear without hitting one.
If 'Troy' sparks an interest in 20% of the audience to review some of those dusty classics and discover a world ignored by most of our 'literate' Americans, I say, Eugepae! Even if you came just to see Troyboy Brad Pitt and walked away with a curiosity for the bigger picture like 'you mean those early Romans were known for more than prophylactics?' or 'Achilles wasn't such a heel after all,' it has achieved some good.
My memory of classical literature has dispersed to the extent that my recall of pertinent detail was as hopeless as the Trojan cause. So rather than struggling with it, I let it flow and hoped to pick up shreds later as I did with the aid of the internet - NPR and Google - making it more worthwhile when it's put in context. Like Odysseus (Sean Bean) who's deference to Achilles' penchant for war for his own talent for treachery, sets up a unique opportunity for a sequel with his name on it. For a hint to a potential conclusion to this trilogy, pay attention to Paris' hand off near the end to a young Aeneas.
Veni, Vidi, Amavi!