The "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" of sword and sandal films?

Rating: 6/10 (20 May 2004)

When I first saw the trailer for "Troy" and heard that Brad Pitt was playing Achilles, I thought to myself "This is going to end up being like 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves', a film that looks great and has some good actors but it's all offset by a crucial casting error - Brad Pitt as Achilles." To my surprise, I actually enjoyed "Troy" but I still couldn't get my head around the casting of Brad Pitt as Achilles, except that director Wolfgang Petersen admired Pitt's work in "Fight Club" and used "Troy" as an excuse to work with him. Had this film been made 15 years ago, Brad Pitt probably would have played Paris of Troy.
Let me get something straight first though: I don't hate Brad Pitt. I'm not a fan of Brad Pitt but I don't hate him either. I understand that women think Brad Pitt is sex on legs and that has been the big factor in his success, but he's also worked hard over the years to prove that he's more than just a pretty face with odd-ball characterizations including "Snatch" and "Fight Club". While I commend Pitt for his efforts, I must also acknowledge that being able to play psychopaths doesn't automatically qualify him to play a mythological character, least of all Achilles. I always pictured Achilles as a man who looks like a force of nature, rough and rugged. Pitt clearly hit the weight room, but even at age 40 his face is still too boyish and pretty to really compliment his character. Pitt's performance isn't terrible but it's a mixed bag at best; Pitt gives his all most of the time, but some scenes he's just not trying, like when he refuses to fight the second day of the war after King Agamemnon (Brian Cox) takes Briseis (Rose Byrne) from him. Brad Pitt drives a chariot as though he were Charlton Heston in "Ben-Hur", but Pitt is no Charlton Heston.
Well, in this loose adaptation of Homer's "The Iliad", the aforementioned Agamemnon of Mycenae has gotten pretty much everyone in Greece to join him, with the foreign country Troy being the only rival left. His little brother, however, King Meneleaus of Sparta (Brendan Gleeson) is tired of battle and wants peace with Troy, which he thinks he's established with Princes Hector (Eric Bana) and Paris (Orlando Bloom). What Meneleaus doesn't know is that Paris has been having a week long fling with his wife Helen (Diane Kruger). Paris, being as stupid as he is, smuggles Helen back to Troy to be his wife, which pisses off Meneleaus and prompts the Trojan War, led by Meneleaus and Agamemnon. In addition to King Odysseus of Ithica, AKA: Ulysses (Sean Bean), Achilles is also joining the fray, even though he and Agamemnon don't like each other. Agamemnon hates Achilles because he's kind of a jerk who fights only for himself and Achilles hates Agamemnon because he thinks the king is a power mad coward who won't fight his own battles (in other words, he has no honor as Achilles would define it). Achilles joins the fray only for the glory of his own name and as a favor to his pal Odysseus, the only man he'll listen to. Achilles wins Agamemnon the beach on their first day, but he gets mad when Agamemnon seizes his girl, the spunky Briseis for no apparent reason except that he's a dirty old man and perhaps to annoy Achilles (in "The Iliad", it was compensation).
Helen thinks of giving herself back to the Spartans in order to protect Paris and Troy, but she is denied that.
The lovable family man warrior Hector doesn't want a war and begs his dad King Priam of Troy (Peter O'Toole) to give Helen back to the Greeks, but Priam believes that they can win because of their walls and the fact that they've got Apollo God of the Sun on their side. Hell Hector's first impulse was to sail back to Sparta and give Helen back and beg Meneleaus for forgiveness and then take Paris home and beat some sense into him, but Paris stubbornly refused to let her go unless he went with her and he didn't want his little idiot brother to get killed. Paris tries take responsibility for his actions by challenging Meneleaus to a duel, but despite being younger and quicker Paris is no match for Meneleaus and just as he is about to be killed he turns and scampers away, shaming himself and the family. A further enraged Meneleaus tries to kill Paris but Hector, on familial reflex, whips out his sword and stabs Meneleaus. That pisses off Agamemnon and a big battle is waged without Achilles and his forces, and Hector and the Trojans beat the Greeks back and even kill the power-house Ajax (Tyler Mane) in the process.
Paris is ashamed of himself for being a hypocrite and a coward and shaming the family, and despite Helen's attempts to console him, he resolves that he must reclaim at least some of his dignity and pride by getting in touch with his inner elf (sorry, couldn't resist) and starts boning up on his archery. Achilles eventually gets Briseis back in return for his services and steps in just as she's about to be gang raped by some Greeks. Well, Achilles infatuation with Briseis has softened him up and he decides to take his men back home, which annoys his cousin Patroclus (originally just a friend and ally), who feels like they're turning their back on their countrymen.
Given Achilles refusal to fight Agamemnon, Patroclus takes it upon himself to fight in Achilles place and leads their men into battle, wearing Achilles armor, as the cavalry against the advancing Trojans, but he is killed by Hector. No one is exactly happy about this except Agamemnon, who counts on using Achilles rage to get rid of one of their biggest obstacles: Hector. Predictably, Achilles goes after Hector, thirsting for revenge despite Briseis begging him not to fight Hector because he's her cousin and the two men fight each other before Troy. Hector fights valiantly but in the end he is killed by Achilles and then dragged away tied to Achilles chariot. Priam later comes before Achilles and begs for his son's body and Achilles eventually agrees, promising him 12 days of peace as well as returning Briseis and complimenting Priam - "You're a far better king than the one leading this war." Agamemnon is annoyed with the peace but Odysseus uses it as the chance to plan - by building the Trojan horse that they will hide in and offer up as a kind of gift of surrender to Troy. Achilles tells his first officer to take the men home while he fights a personal battle.
The Trojan Horse is built and left for the Trojans to find. Paris has a bad feeling and suggests burning it, but Priam is convinced by his Irish priest (Nigel Terry, King Arthur in "Excalibur") to take the thing home. After the celebration, Odysseus and his men open the gates and the Greeks attack, while Achilles searches the city for Briseis. Priam is stabbed in the back by Agamemnon, and Agamemnon is killed by Briseis. Paris gives the sword of Troy to Aeneas and tells him to lead the others out, including Helen, while he searches for his father and happens upon Achilles as he is about to take Briseis and shoots him down with his arrows, thus avenging Hector. Paris and Briseis disappear into the night but we do not know if they escape or not. The film ends with Achilles being burned and Odysseus being philosophical.
Like "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" the film is epically mounted and features some great actors, but Brad Pitt kind of offsets things (though he's not as bad as Achilles as Kevin Costner was as Robin Hood). The film works hard at first to keep from having a specific villain, but Brian Cox's campy Agamemnon comes very close to being "the bad guy". The best of the lot is Eric Bana as the heroic everyman Prince Hector (though he might have made a better Achilles than Brad Pitt) and Peter O'Toole as King Priam, who has one of the film's most touching scenes: begging for his son's corpse. Let's face it, to the world, Orlando Bloom will ALWAYS be Legalos, and he certainly is so when he picks up the bow and arrow for the climax, but his performance is passable, as there are hints of an actor trying to escape his boyish appearance. He doesn't look quite angry enough when he watches Hector die, but he sounds pretty mad when people dance around the Trojan Horse ("Look at them... you'd think their prince had never died.") Diane Kruger is a decent Helen and she and Bloom work hard to make their characters sympathetic despite their actions. Sean Bean is good but under-used as Odysseus, as is Brendan Gleeson as Meneleaus. Saffron Burrows makes the most of her role as Hector's wife, as does Rose Byrne as Briseis.
Some good music by James Horner (who scored the Star Trek films) and well mounted battle scenes similar to if not on par with "Lord of the Rings".