zzzz...zz...zzz...BOORRRRRRING!!!

Rating: Null/10 (26 May 2004)

Seriously, am I the only person who is bored already with this script? And STILL another version of the same crap will be out this summer with, "King Arthur." Hey, that might be good, just the same way as "Troy," by definition, IS good. My problem isn't in the regular way of saying, "oh, I didn't like it." My issue is that I'm just bored already with the same basic EPIC-storyline, in an extremely VAST setting, with some gigantic, humongous, battle-scene. (and there's always a wizard in these friggin' movies!!) Anyway, this "Troy" crap is just the same. There's a semi-huge "teaser" battle at the beginning, followed by tons-and-tons of dramatic characters interacting, (again, usually involving a wizard...) with way too many looooooong epic shots of the "setting-up" for the big war that is eventually going to take place. In this case, we see about 74 different pans and sweeps of the ships coming to Troy. Anyway, blah, blah, blah... there is tons of love story crap, and tons of Brad Pitt's butt. Then there is the giant battle-scene, which of course is cool and everything, but I'm just done with this deal already. And you know what else? These epic-war, before-there-were-guns, movies, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS are 3 hours long!!! Why do they need to be 3 hours long? Trim it down people! That's right editor's, use the friggin' "trim-tool!" I don't mean I don't like certain scenes or anything. You can keep every single scene in Troy, in the final product. I just think if we didn't have to see 87 angles of the ships coming in, or sit on everybody's eye's really long, while zooming in super slowly... then the movie might only be a hefty 2 hours, instead of 3 grueling hours.
Honestly, I probably still wouldn't have loved it, even if it was only 2 hours. I don't really know why exactly. I just know I'm completely done with wizards, swords, and thousands of people running directly into each other with shields and axes. ...MOVING ON!!!!