Hunks in skirts - the ultimate chick flick

Rating: Null/10 (24 May 2004)

Achilles / Brad Pitt: I would be tempted to agree with the reviewer who called him a graduate of the "Joey Tribbiani school of acting", however I know that he can do much better than this. I can therefore only explain it by Petersen's poor directing. (too many close up shots of Achilles looking far far away, looking angry, looking proud,...) To many shots of Achilles' curvy rear end as he wakes up. Yes he is gorgeous but for God's sake this is a historical film not a Pirelli calendar.
Hector /Eric Bana: The reason I went to see the film. Great performance. Can't wait to see what he can do his next films. Here's another teenage fantasy: Muscular bare-chested man holding a baby in his arms: Wolfgang you have to work on that cliche problem of yours!
Paris/ Orlando Bloom: His wimp of a character won't do any good to his fan club.
Priam/ Peter O'Toole: Should get an Oscar nod for his heartbreaking performance.
Helen/ Diane Kruger: Her acting is fine but her beauty lacks the distinction that would have launched a 1000 ships. Saffron Burrows/Andromache has got it, but needs to find another way to portray distress. Fishmouth with chin twitching is not a good idea.
Odysseus/Sean Bean: Excellent as always.
Achilles' mother/ Julie Christie: Only a cameo, but captivating.
I had a problem with the film's structure: The film shows us the arrogant and greedy Greeks as being the heroes therefore the spectator should identify with them, however unlikeable they may be. On the other side you have the Trojans, who are good and fair but who unfortunately are the enemy. You end up disassociating with the story for lack of identification logic. If not likeable, Achilles' character should have been made more attractive, interesting. He's just shown as an arrogant maverick Californian surfer with no apparent reason for being the a-hole he is. It is all too long (but pretty empty), too shiny and even though I have nothing specific to bring to attention (the dialogues and the delivery?), it all felt like a big anachronism. We are left with a chick flick for guys, good enough for straight to video.