Performances as Wooden as the Trojan Horse!

Rating: 6/10 (27 June 2004)

After screening this film, I have to tell it like it is. I found myself struggling not to giggle at many parts of this movie. The script is laughable with lines no actor should have to utter and no movie patron should have to hear.
I personally think that the biggest mistake made with this movie is with the casting. Brad Pitt is seriously out of his league in his role of Achilles. I think he was cast for the appearance of his buttocks more than anything else. Diane Kruger as Helen of Troy?? This is the classic beauty that "launched a thousand ships?" Who the hell is she first of all? Orlando Bloom is also miscast in the role of Paris. Eric Bana as Hector is also a bit of a stretch but a better fit than the others previously mentioned.
The second mistake was with the script. Terrible lines that made me want to smirk...in fact I did smirk, many times. Thankfully I passed on the popcorn this time, as there is enough corn in this movie to feed a herd of cattle.
I have to agree that much of the CGI was not impressive. The overall feel of the film is lacking. It does not have that Epic atmosphere about it, and personally, seeing it once is enough. I cannot imagine suffering through it again on DVD.
My most memorable scene in this movie was the person two rows in front of me checking their indiglo watch over and over and over and....OVER again. That simple scene says it all about Troy. Two hours and forty minutes you will never get back!
Any movie that has to change the content of a Greek Classic is a tragedy. Wolfgang Peterson should be spanked for wasting $180 million on this "Wooden" Nickel.