terrible movie

Rating: 4/10 (16 September 2005)

This is easily one of the worst movies of the year.
Troy was an absolute joke. It is completely inaccurate and has some of the worst acting I have ever seen from both Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom.
Just about everything was wrong with this movie. Let's start with the inaccuracy. Achilles dies in battle as soon as he kills Hector by an arrow shot by Paris. One Arrow. Not some sappy love story with a peasant girl at the end when Troy is being raided. And certainly not by five arrows. One arrow to the ankle is all it should have taken. But no, the director had to put an additional four in his chest. Agamemnon was killed after the Trojan war, not during.
The script is awful, delivered by an unbelievably fake cast. Brad Pitt complicates the role of Achilles, making him less believable as a legend. Lines like, "How about a king that fights his own battles, wouldn't that be a sight", and, "Be careful, king of kings, first you need the victory", are so poorly delivered we cannot help but laugh.
Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom do some of their worst work in this movie. I didn't for a second believe Bloom as Paris and just couldn't stop laughing at Pitt's unevocative dialogue. Just listen as Achilles rides up to the wall of Troy and calls out for Hector so he can fight him, "HECTOR!". Over and over we hear him shout. Even in the background while Hector bids farewell to his family.
There's a scene of particular dreadfulness that I would like to point out: when the armies of Greece are on the beach and begin marching up to the walls of Troy for a massive battle scene. In Braveheart, Mel Gibson filmed the perfect English army gathering that made us fear for the Scots. That lasted about 50 seconds and was one of the best moments in the film history. Here, Wolfgang Peterson, isn't satisfied with 50 sec. but goes for 3 min and 45 sec, which any movie buff knows feels like an eternity in the theater. I guess Peterson wanted to hopelessly bore so we would forget about how bad the movie is.
There is one good thing about Troy. And that would be the action scenes. That is the only reason this movie gets a 4 out of 10. The choreography was amazing, especially in Hector and Achilles' big fight. However, that is not enough to redeem a movie.