the funniest epic ever

Rating: Null/10 (6 May 2004)

Now now, let's not all be so glum about it. I was at a free movie screening last Tuesday and needless to say, the whole theater kept errupting in laughter. One of the funniest epic movies ever made... Hilarious because of it's unintentional comedy.
What can I say? The screenwriters were horrible! The directing, I guess, shouldn't be blamed, I mean those fight scenes were pretty good. And all the male nakedness could almost more than make up for the lack of pretty much whatever it is that makes the Iliad such an wonderful book.
They do not make you understand why Glory is an important part of life in Ancient Greece. This is why we all started bursting into ridiculous laughter when Achilles thinks of choosing between living and having a family with his mother seeing him again and dying but living on with the Glory. Bad bad idea! It makes him look like an idiot, not the hero he ought to be.
Another, milking too much of the romance but letting the love story drop. It is not good! First of all, Briseis was not the cousin or the temple virgin. She was conquered and was war booty. The heart-felt parts were not heart-felt at all. The lines were terrible! It was just soooo inappropriate for the scene.
THE RAGE! The rage of Achilles... what the heck, it makes him look like a moron! No love set up before he moots and things are so quickly changed... WHERE THE HECK IS LITTLE AJAX??? It was sad...I really was hoping for little Ajax to come along.
THE MOST POIGNANT PART OF THE STORY WAS CHANGED! I'm talking about Book 6 where Hector says goodbye to his family... whyyyyy oh whyyyy did they change that?! You all will see.
And Hector. Don't get me started. Eric Bana looked great and all but he just didn't give emotion. He spoke and he acted, but he did not feel. His eyes are left wanting...
And then the Patroclus... *sigh* I was so disappointed... What's the deal with him looking so young? they're supposed to be best of friends. And this young thing... I couldn't stop laughing when I saw Aeneas. He looked 16 dragging his father and where's his daughter and Creusa???
I'm sorry. This girl Helen... HORRIBLE HORRIBLE depiction of her. Why did they hype her up so much?
I must say, however, BRAVO ORLANDO BLOOM. Although I did not appreciate the Legolas revival in the end (which I can forgive since it was part of the story... however it just didn't fit), he portrayed Paris as he ought to be. The ridiculously beautiful hunk of a man who was a complete wuss. I soooo felt the emotion, his innocence, his lover-not-fighter status and all his aesthetic beauty. He got meaty for this one! ORLANDO BLOOM, I SALUTE THEE!

Well I guess here's the deal: If you really want to experience Troy as it should be, go out and get Fagle's translation and read it for yourself. If you want to actually see it...might as well wait for the rentals to come out. If you want to see really hot men go naked (forgot how many times I almost jumped at the screen seeing Brad Pitt clotheless and Orlando Bloom nakie), then by ALL means, do go and watch it. As for the $20 million spent... *sigh* all down the drain. If you want to see a comedic adaptation of Iliad without being too offended, then gooo ahead and watch.