Trash

Rating: Null/10 (14 May 2004)

D+, or C- at best
The good: - The fighting was pretty cool. - Tons of soldiers in the battles. - The scenes looked good. - Uh, all the ships were cool, but they were also in all the previews.
The bad: - The music sucked. Tried to ripoff Gladiator style but it was entirely mediocre and irritating. - The dialog was horrible. So was the acting, which might be because the dialog was so bad (Sean Bean, Peter O'Toole and Eric Bana were good, though). Either way, whenever anyone else was talking, it was really boring. - The characterization sucked. The only character I somewhat cared about was Hector. It makes it hard to watch a movie when you don't give a s**t what happens to anyone in it. - I find it really f***ing hard to believe that entire armies will stop fighting to watch a 1 on 1 fight. - The camera work in fight scenes sucked. It was super zoomed in and bobbly, so I couldn't even tell what was happening. - No emotion anywhere in this film. Except I did feel anger at one point, but that was partially because the theater was so hot and the movie was so long. - Uh, everything else. - Oh i almost forgot, Brad Pitt was 95% naked in every scene that wasn't a fight scene.
All in all, I rate Troy above Master and Commander. However it's f***ing far (that's far X 10) below Gladiator and Braveheart. In fact, I take that back. It's an insult to those two great films to be compared to Troy.