This is Nothing New (spoiler)

Rating: Null/10 (30 June 2004)

'Troy' is a 'Greek-myth' movie just like any other (yawn) -minus the pantheon of gods and goddesses who played key roles in the fates of the heroes (and villains). This film is simply a rehash of a popular story (ostensibly about Troy) and credited (with apologies?) to Homer. Okay the movie has GREAT special effects, and is a superb visual feast with some outstanding casting (especially Peter O'Toole as King Priam and Eric Bana as Hector. Who else but Orlando Bloom could play the wimp Prince Paris?)
But it really should have been called 'Achilles' after all that is who the film is really about. We first meet our hero when he dispatches an enemy in one deft hop, skip and jump motion (which is his trade mark move throughout the film). It is a pity that the opening sequence had not been with Odysseus and Diomedes finding him disguised as a woman and hiding among the maidens on the island of Skyros! Or maybe, if the story had stuck true to its title, 'Troy': opening when Agamemenon and Menelaus went to Ithaca to recruit Odysseus only to find him, apparently raving mad, sowing salt in furrows that were being ploughed by a horse and a donkey. A ploy that would have worked had someone not thrown his baby son, Telemachus, down in front of the plough!
So who is this Achilles (played by Brad Pitt), anyway? A brutish and agile warrior who falls deeply in love with one of Apollo's priestesses and who gets somewhat annoyed when his 'cousin', Patroclus, is killed by Prince Hector in battle? Homer's Achilles loved only two people in his life  himself and Patroclus (who was actually his lover). Apart from his mother, the beautiful sea-nymph Thetis (ably portrayed in the film by Julie Christie), any women in his life were just useful vassals (even his son, Neoptolemus, was little more than a PS at the bottom of the page). Achilles was an athletic and brutal warrior, true enough, and his Myrmidons formed a fearsome and formidable army - but he never loved his captive slave-girl Briseis the way it was portrayed in the film. Yes, it is true that the desecration of slain Trojan hero, Hector, by Achilles was nothing less than shameful (and was actually toned down in the film), and his own legendary demise (struck through his vulnerable heel by a poisoned arrow from Paris' bow) is actually the irony of the tale. But he was killed (or, more probably, murdered) by Paris long before the conception of the wooden horse. Thus, the true hero of the Greeks turned out to be the wily and cunning Odysseus (who was a rather stocky man famous for his flaming red hair and beard, quite unlike the wiry, strawberry blonde character played by Sean Bean).
If production companies want to make movies about brave but brutal heroes who are apparently blessed with being invincible why choose Achilles anyway?
Brad Pitt would have made a superb Cu Chulainn ('Hound of Chulain / Ulster'). Cu Chulainn was a legendary hero of Ireland and he, too, was invincible. He was the champion of Queen Medhbh of Connaught, and he defended the magical brown bull of Cooley. He is the Irish equivalent of 'Achilles' with an equally exciting provenance (his original name was Setanta, but he earned his title 'The Hound of Ulster' in a most remarkable way.). A fearsome, brutal warrior, 'The Hound' felled anyone who stood in his way until he met his own end in an equally bizarre and ironic manner. Now, how many movies are there about him (or about any other Irish myths and legends)? Peter Jackson was a man with a vision and he took a huge gamble with Tolkien's pseudo-myth 'The Lord of the Rings' and it paid off - because it is refreshingly new and different! Doesn't anyone else have the courage to break the mould? Come on, guys! Give us break  we want something NEW!