Hissy Fits In Troy

Rating: 1/10 (21 February 2007)

I have just been watching the movie Troy.
Unable to control fits of uncontrollable laughter as the two main protagonists in the movie Hector and Achilles fought with girly boy fury in a swirl of long locks and within a cloud of Por Homme. The whole thing was a sorts of "poofs4justice" movie that at times resembled a gay pride march. It must be a sign of the times. The speeches before battles were some of the finest comedy moments I have ever seen. At times resembling an army being "inspired into battle" by dialogue that could have been written and delivered by Benny Hill. Never have I seen such terrible miscasting. The sort of acting that is fine in TV crap like Hercules but has no place on the big screen in something purporting to be an action movie. The money must have been good to attract so many big names but they did themselves no justice by allying themselves to this rubbish.
I have heard a rumour that Johnathon Ross and his troop of "Four Poofs And A Piano" are going to headline the cast in Troy Two (The Eyeliner Years) coming to a cinema soon.
There is little doubt that this disaster of a movie should be confined to the dustbin of B movies along with "Carry On Camping."
To quote the girly boy "Prince of Troy" when faced with the Trojan Horse in a scene from the film, "I think we should burn it."
George Rolph