Who this had seen, with tongue in venom steep'd...

Rating: 6/10 (14 May 2004)

Biting irony and Shakespearean tragedy trade hits with Hollywood cliches and saccharine in the real battle for TROY. Peter O'Toole faces off with Orlando Bloom. Julie Christie vs a totally inadequate female lead. A gorgeous Horse, in an Ilium that would shame The Mummy. Brad Pitt's physical beauty betrayed by Brad Pitt's wooden delivery - in a role that he should completely own! Stylewise it's a three way battle between Braveheart, The Ten Commandments, and all the corniest parts of the Star Wars series.
I don't know what to think. The war story is excellent: lots of characters very well acted, with real complexities and a real sense of tragedy and fate. The Paris-Helen story is jejune and selfish and hardly seems to fit. No more does the weepy wife of Hector, or the inane counsellors of Troy. Priam (O'Toole) is a very Lear, though without Lear's felicitous madness. Achilles is cynical, flawed, a bad boy, complex. The casting of Brad Pitt should be brilliant - Achilles is a swaggering rebel - except someone made him do it impassively, thoughtfully, and in a very sketchy English accent. What happened?!
The fight scenes are multifarious and excellent. Each is suspenseful and interesting. CGI troops/ships are used in setup panoramas, but I didn't notice CGI in the actual action. Achilles has minor superhuman abilities, but they're not excessive or used constantly.
Mythology and many great parts of the Iliad are completely excised. This is the story of men at war, with women thrown in mostly for color. Did a woman start this war? You'd never think it. The gods - well, who knows if they're even there? And who - oh who? - has seen the mobled queen? Where's Hecuba?
You will be surprised how quickly it all ends, in more way than one.