Shoot Yourself In The Foot Before Seeing This Movie

Rating: 2/10 (9 September 2008)

Granted, I only saw this movie because I lost a bet on a football game (damn Colts) and I went into the theater with some bias against, well, everything about it I knew from the trailers. Despite that, I did not think this movie could have been worse than the previews made it look. I was wrong.
This is yet another "summer block-buster" that clubbed itself in the head before it even left the starting gate. It did so by having trailers repeated ad nausea that give away the punchlines to the more entertaining jokes in the movie. By the time you make it too the theater you have no reason to laugh at the black-face routine that Robert Downey Jr. puts into the show because you have most of the lines memorized already, whether you like to or not.
As for the stuff that was not in the trailers: gee, Ben Stiller and Jack Black star in a comedy about dopey white guys stuck in the jungles of Vietnam, so I'm going to assume there will be a joke involving a monkey at some point. And let me guess, the climax of the gag will be the monkey throwing poop at someone? Am I right? Yep. 100 f***ing percent correct. Even if you haven't seen this movie, the premise and jokes are already crystal clear, and therefore lose any impact before they are even played out.
I hated Ben Stiller for the longest time after being dragged to see ''Along Came Polly'' with a friend when the movie I wanted to see, ''Big Fish'', was sold out. However, I know he can act in good films. Examples being Wes Anderson's ''The Royal Tannebaums'' and a cameo in episodes of the HBO series' "Curb Your Enthusiasum" and "Extras" (Stillers cameo as the director in the war film episode marks what I think is the best show in the regrettably short-lived series).
This is another example of an actor who's popularity causes Hollywood to throw crappy type-cast scripts in their direction along with huge checks they'd normally be crazy to turn their backs on. It has happened in the past with Jim Carrey (who broke up his terrible movie streak with ''The Truman Show''), Rob Schnieder (who still makes bad movies, just less volume these days), Mike Meyers (see Rob Schnieder), and Jack Black (who broke up the bad streak for a second in ''Be Kind Rewind'', but then got back on the crap wagon just as quick as he seemed to be off).
Downey Jr. was the only reason this movie received a rating any higher than one star out of ten. Downey is a seriously good actor who can take on dramatic roles on a regular basis, which is why when he does comedy it seems more out of the ordinary, and thus much funnier. This result is comparable to other actors like Don Cheadle, Samuel L. Jackson, Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. However, it was all Downey could do with this script to not have a funny quip or anecdote stomped upon in the following sequence by a cliché slapstick routine or poop joke involving (mostly) Stiller and Black.
Do yourself a favor, never make a bet with a serious consequence you are not absolutely positive you'll win, and DON'T EVER EVER EVER SEE THIS MOVIE!