Appalling

Rating: 1/10 (23 September 2009)

Most of the time, the reason I don't like movies is because their not made for me. For instance, I don't really enjoy chick-flicks, or sports films, but I can appreciate their purpose and understand why other people enjoy them. Most of the time, they don't make me angry, just bored. Most of the time I can sit through a boring movie and still have a good time if I'm with someone else who likes it. ButTransformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is the most disgusting, vile, atrocious, mind-numbing, vomit-inducing piece of trash movie I personally have had the misfortune to watch to date. And I really meant that. IT IS GARBAGE. What is it, you ask? What in the world could be this terrible? . Some who have seen it disliked it, but didn't loathe it as much as I did. Some have simply said, "oh, it's just a movie. It doesn't bother me that much. Besides, the action was good". Some even enjoyed it. To the latter group, I say go see a doctor, you're insane. Literally. Normally, I would side with the first group. I am able to accept that movies are in fact just that: movies. They're not going to change the world, and they're not going to change the course of humanity as we know it. But no. NO, NO, NO. I have never been so physically full of rage over a movie in my entire life. It insulted my intelligence, and my humanity. This film, if you can even call it that, first and foremost is not entertaining on any level whatsoever. Second, 2007's Transformers is not a good movie, but it is entertaining. Its solid PG-13 rating was just fine with me, even though it was almost exclusively marketed towards children. It was primarily rated because of action violence, and since all the fighting is between giant robots, there's no gore to speak of. However, the sequel barely squeaked by a PG-13 rating because it is chock full of sexual crudeness, foul language, sexism, racism and drug use; most of which pertain to THE ROBOTS THEMSELVES. And yes, you did read that correctly. The merchandise for this movie also was marketed exclusively for children as young as two. So, realize this before I go into my rant about the film itself. This is supposed to be a kids movie. Heh, heh...yeeaah.... The filmmakers had already angered me by making an edgy yet still OK movie for tweens and up, then reeling fans of the first movie into a film that was something totally different and shocking after reading a few reviews after the movie was released, but before I actually went to see it. And, if anyone was hoping for a climactic battle between Optimus Prime and The Fallen, all you got was a two minute brawl that is composed of insane close-ups which look like a mass of indistinguishable metal rotating around and around. By the way, this is how every battle in this movie looks, thus its safe to say the action is not even good. The End. That's it.
The real question is: how in the world was a weekly Saturday morning cartoon about giant robots fighting each other made INTO THIS? I'll never know. But, I'm sure that's another question that will never be answered by Michael Bay.