Two-Dimensional Eye-Candy

Rating: 3/10 (7 July 2009)

Alright, so this was something I was looking forward to. A graduation celebration. A few of my friends, and myself, bought tickets to see it midnight, opening night in IMAX. And it sucked. I honestly felt like crying. $15 bucks each. I was expecting it to be as good as the first. Well, that's not entirely true. I read some reviews of it, and let's just say I had a bad feeling walking into the theatre. But, I figured I'd give it a chance. Large groups of people have been known to be wrong before. Just look at religion. But no. They were all right. It was a bad, bad movie. It felt as if the plot was something they added on after making most of the movie. Sure, it had awesome fight sequences. Sure, Optimus Prime is a god. But everything that made the first a great movie (other than what I just mentioned) was missing. You don't relate to the characters at all, instead you get to see two , small, yappy-type boy dogs humping, as well as a small transformer humping Megan Fox's leg. And let's not forget the giant, robot testicles, eh? They spent more time on cheap, retarded gimmicks for cheap laughs than they did on character development and whatnot. Don't get me wrong, the robots were humping awesome. Jetfire was my personal favorite, and I loved Alice, but that's about it. I haven't really watched any Michael Bay movies, but this seems to be a perfect representation of what everybody says about them. Two-dimensional eye-candy. Also, I haven't watched the show, so I don't know if this actually happens, but Optimus Prime really should not be doing Arnold Schwarzenegger-like one-liners. It just makes it even crappier.