One big "WTF?"

Rating: 4/10 (28 June 2009)

This summer seems to mark the death of entertainment itself. First Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, and now Transformers 2. Billy Mays' death could also count, as he is also an American institution.
My four stars go to the incredible CGI. Pretty much impeccable, in my opinion. Though 21st century SFX are growing more and more amazing, there is in fact a limit. The camera can't seem to focus on anything for more than 10 seconds (unless it's Megan Fox's slo-mo bouncing breasts), and the battles were so fast that I nearly went into REM just to keep up. I know this is an action movie, and plot usually takes second, but TONE IT DOWN, GAH! I personally love a good ass-kicking at least once every 30 minutes, but the human brain can only take so much. Especially the last scene, which could have been reduced by 50% and still have the same effect. It seems that when Michael Bay couldn't think of anything creative to show, he just said, "blow it up." That'll get em.
Speaking of toning things down, did we REALLY have to get a shot of huge alien robot testicles? I mean, did it REALLY serve ANY purpose at all? This just further proves my belief that Hollywood thinks the rest of America (and the world) is just a big bunch of baffoons who can't handle intellectual humor. After about the tenth time, I just groaned when a character farted or humped something. I was also slightly offended that all the women were either insanely gaga, overly sexually aggressive, or just eye candy. I know Transformers is mostly appealing to males, but please, guys are going to drag their girlfriends in, too.
My biggest disappointment was that hardly any of the new Autobots and Decepticons were introduced properly, all 25834758794754 of them. Did they ever even mention the name of the motorcycle chick Autobot? And the only new ones who were developed were those two gangsta robots who resembled monkeys(though I have to admit, I did laugh at them). Not to mention the older characters received remarkably less face-time, save for Bumblebee (who can't talk again???). Optimus Prime, the most BA guy in this entire movie, only had like 60 minutes out of the 2.5 hours. And his most epic moments lasted about two minutes.
On one last note, I don't really understand what everyone's talking about when they complain about plot-holes, because I never really noticed any. Then again I was just kind of in a daze trying to not overload on excessive visual and aural stimuli.
Overall, when you have to ask yourself "WTF?" at least sixteen times throughout the film, perhaps its time for the directors to take some Ritalin.