Disappointment with a side of racism

Rating: 6/10 (5 August 2009)

This should have been so good. I love Transformers, I like Michael bay films, I thought the first film was great. What could possibly go wrong? Well, as it happens, a hell of a lot. ROTF labours under the false pretence that more is more, so rather than taking time to set up a complex and (for a Bay film at least) intelligent story as the first film did, this film just presents us with a mixture of massive explosions, cynical fan-boy box ticking (such as a blink-and-you-miss-it sideswipe cameo) and, worst of all, casual racism. Before I address this specifically, I'll start with the few positives.
The film looks great, some of the set pieces are jaw-dropping and Shia LaBouf, Megan Fox and John Turturro all do very well with severely underwritten roles. There are some fan favourites that work great as well. Devestator, is all his constructicon glory, is jaw-dropping, while Soundwave and Ravage's infiltration of a government laboratory is heart poundingly exciting. Jetfire's reinvention as a cranky old war vet is inspired, though not all purists may see it that way. And the climatic battle between the autobots and decepticons which culminates in the destruction of the great pyramid is awesome. Fan favourites from the last film are also given a little more to do this time around. Megatron and Starscream bicker like they do in the cartoon and Ironhide gets to kick a lot of ass. The problems come with the new additions to the cast.
Lets start with The Fallen shall we? Trailers made him look totally evil, a massive teleporting rogue agent which the autobots and decepticons have to team up to defeat. Not so, The Fallen is actually a rubbish, less charismatic, replacement for Megatron with a moronic plan to destroy the sun. He doesn't appear in the film that much and when he does you find yourself wondering why Megatron doesn't just rip him apart. He's the weakest link in what is a completely uninspired plot, a formulaic chase for a McGuffin called the "matrix of leadership".
However, The Fallen is merely disappointing whereas two new additions called The Twins are just really offensive. First of all, with their Ghetto accents, Ape-like builds and big gold teeth, they are racial stereotypes so extreme they make Jar Jar Binks look like an accurate representation of Jamaican culture. They also use the words "bitch", "pussy" and "ass" frequently in what is meant to be a kids movie. Why the hell they were included is a mystery, but for some reason someone somewhere decided Transformers, a SCI-FI ACTION film, needed more comic relief. So we get dogs humping, Sam's mum high on weed, a pervy robot trying to shag Megan Fox's leg and numerous other cringeingly unfunny Adam Sandler esquire moments that slow down the film and just don't belong here.
There is also a lot more sexual content than the last film, and while I myself enjoy the sight of Megan Fox straddling a motorcycle and running on slow-motion, I wouldn't have spent more time focusing on it than the plot. There is also a seen where a decepticon disguised as a cheerleader makes out with Sam wearing only a thong. Yes, you did just read that sentence.
Now, the sex and the swearing is fine, but this is a film based on a kids cartoon and kids toys, and I really don't feel great about kids watching a tirade of casual racism/sexism.
In fact, I don't know how to rate this film at all. The last Transformers film I loved, gave a 9/10. This one was good in parts, the ending was brilliant but the build up was boring, and staggered with misjudged comedy and inappropriately Un-PC humour. And even the geekgasms awarded by Starscream, Ravage and Devestator cannot undo the sheer hate I feel for the twins.