How the Mighty have 'Fallen'

Rating: 2/10 (27 June 2009)

or "Revenge of the 'Fallen' I.Q.s" would be more appropriate subtitles.
Sure, the original cartoon 'Transformers: The Movie' had problems and 2007's 'Transformers' was a crime against society. 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' was just a plain, horrid mess.
I have to give it kudos for its homage only to the 2007 movie: continual product placement, enormously bad and juvenile humor and robot battle scenes where you can't tell the good from the bad. The best they did to improve was voiding Sam's (LaBeouf) insistent need to repeat the same word 7x, such as "no,no,no,no,no,no,no"
I had extremely low expectations for this movie after (the insult to the original source material) 2007's version, so I figured I might actually like it. And it wasn't 100% bad: some battle scenes were good and I've seen worse, but yeah it was trash, all the same. As for some people/critics ripping on the "racial" stereotypes, I have one comment: they weren't bad due to the bigotry, they were bad because they were simply horribly created (CGI,) had awful lines and too 'Jar-Jar'ish. That should be insult to any race, creed or human enough.
We're given absolutely no script, no direction, scenes that are completely incoherent from the previous, painful dialogue and so-called "touching" scenes, flat-out lies (it is told that multiple Autobots came to Earth, yet, there's probably a grand total of 6 on Earth, not much more from the 2007 version,) comical acting – trust me, I was laughing out loud when we're supposed to believe Mikaela (Megan) was scared, clichés from here to Cybertron, enough swearing and partial (male) nudity for an R-rating and roughly 45 minutes that could've been easily cut – the movie went on longer than it took Frodo to ditch the ring.
You'd think with all the dumbed down gags it was meant for the younger, naïve crowd, but they up'd the ante from 2007's masturbation-talk scene to include numerous sexual references (robodog humping Mikaela) and even roboballs. Those and all other jokes fall flat and make me wish I was 4 again so I could've enjoyed it.
Weakly, they reintroduce Sam by a fragment of the All-Spark and now a resurrected Megatron needs it to, oh, I can't remember (or care) why and I just watched it. Bay just made the movie to sell toys, cars and Mt. Dew and show beautiful young women, big robots and explosions. Hmm, I wonder what demographic it was meant for?