2 and a half hours more than meets the bloodshot eye

Rating: 5/10 (30 June 2009)

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I LOVED the first Transformers movie. Nothing better than a movie with a bunch of robots in it. So once I saw The Fallen was coming out, of course I was waiting for the day. After having seen it, I'm really wondering why now. The plot is very confusing, seeming to rely on things like "this happen to fall into his pocket but no one knew" and "hes no threat cause hes dead and we have him guarded" type of scenarios. But if you're in it for the robots and explosions, you'll love it. But a few things did bother me, like.....
#1-The shard of the Allspark just 'happen' to fall into Sam's pocket and he had no idea? Does he not wash his clothes? Its been 2 years.
#2-Sams mom ate that brownie, she saw the hemp icon on the bag and had no idea what it meant? Where the hell has she been living?
#3-How did Tyrese's character go from a Tech Sergeant in the first one to a Master in this one? Thats a hell of a promotion. I'm in the Air Force myself, I want to gain rank like that.
#4-The humans really played no big part in this movie, it was all about the robots. The going to college angle was unneeded.
#5-Too long. What is this, Titanic? I could have cut a bunch of stuff out of this movie and it would have been just as good and under 2 hours. Sometimes too much of a good thing is bad.
#6-Sam really, you have a girl friend like Megan Fox and you're NOT going to tell her you love her? Give me a break, even a nerd would hold on to her and NOT LET GO FOR ANYTHING.
#7-Sam finds out that he is the one to save the world and he want's nothing to do with it? What kid would turn down the chance to be a superhero, save the world and work with robots? WHo I ask you?
#8-The twins, Skids and Mudflap-UN NEEDED. They were the worst part of the movie. Racist in every way. They were the Jar Jar Binks of the film. Absolutely terrible.
#9-Why was that little robot humping Megan Foxs leg? Robots have no feelings, so he wouldn't be turned on by her...so whats the deal?
#10-Devistator had balls....Really? Real balls? Give me a break.
.....There are MANY MANY more but I digress.
So the short of it is, Summer blockbuster? Yes. Just don't expect to walk out with a deeper understanding of your inner feelings. This is a big robot, shoot em up, blow up stuff and destroy buildings movie. Plain and simple. If you go in thinking that, you'll be fine.