Besides the Racially Insensitive Robot Twins, who amused me to no end (but not in the way they were intended to amuse me), there's nothing worth seeing in this movie

Rating: 3/10 (6 July 2009)

I saw this at an outdoor theater the night before the Fourth of July. I don't generally like outdoor movies. The atmosphere is kind of neat, kind of retro, but with modern sound design, you're really missing out on something by going to them nowadays. I didn't really care about Transformers 2, though. The first one wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that good, either. Its main problem is that the giant CGI robots were horribly designed and hard to tell apart. They don't look so much like the Transformers that came out of the package as I bought them as a kid as the Transformers that came out of the microwave after my little brother cooked them a little. The action sequences were somewhat incomprehensible, especially the ones with multiple Transformers fighting. The sequel is far worse in this respect, and pretty much all other respects, as well. I think all the action sequences are made up of multiple robots fighting, and you can't tell who they are. Not that it matters, since none of them have an ounce of personality. There's two exceptions to this, though, that provide the film's only entertainment, as prurient as it is. The twin Autobots are the two biggest racial stereotypes that I've seen in a movie since the 1980s. My God, one even has a gold tooth. I think their names are Mantan and Sleep 'n' Eat. This offensiveness amused me to no end. "Damn! He got et!" Other than that, there's a couple of humping dogs, a small robot that humps Megan Fox's leg, and a Decepticon "scrotum" to laugh at. You have to be pretty juvenile even for that, and luckily I am. If you're not, there's nothing else. And this movie runs two and a half hours! How? The plot is overcomplicated, but still pretty simple and easy to follow. Whenever a character needs to get out of some seemingly impossible situation, they're thrown a special power which has never been mentioned previously. The people who wrote the screenplay need to be shot. Bay doesn't deserve much better. I'm not actually a Bay hater, but he has made a handful of really awful movies. This isn't even his worst - that would be Armageddon. But this is pretty close to as bad.