Transformers 2 may have made me a misanthrope.

Rating: 1/10 (7 July 2009)

This is my second movie review... I was so upset about this movie that I felt compelled to take a few minutes out of my day to rate it here in the hopes that I can save someone else from wasting their time and money and encouraging studios to make more terrible, worthless movies like this.
There is a cool 10 seconds or so of actually cool robot combat that takes place in a wooded area. Some of the dialog is funny. The vast majority of the movie left me feeling slightly nauseas, mildly depressed and a little angry. All Michael Bay had to do was make a movie at least as good as the first one - with more cool fighting scenes like the one in the woods between Prime and the Decepticons. Instead, he gives us over an hour of pointless filler, stock military footage and unbelievably stupid add-ins like... dogs screwing - three times, a robot humping Megan Fox's leg, an old robot with a bad back cane and a beard, a robot crying, a robot with huge metal testicles, a wise-cracking Joe Pesci robot who inexplicably has no weapons like all the other robots - yet is sent on a critical mission by the Decepticons only to be captured by Megan Fox and held captive in a small box, two Jar-Jar Binks-like functionally retarded robots appear out of nowhere and inexplicably are sent on a critical mission by the autobots to save the human race and autobots. That's just naming a few of the unbelievably ridiculous nonsense that this movie presents to the viewer. And these things are presented with no coherent plot whatsoever. The plot that is there is full of gaping holes that only the dumbest of viewers could overlook. Random things happen constantly that completely violate any rules set up previously. At one point, a robot teleports himself and a group of humans half way around the world while at no point previous in the movie or in the first Transformers movie were Autobots or Decepticons able to teleport.
I wasn't expecting the Godfather or anything but this movie just made me shake my head as it seemed to be deliberately made to be terrible. I felt like the director hates his audience and just put a bunch of deliberately nonsensical crap up on the screen and spent 100 million to render goofy CGI robots wrestling and cussing at each other, intercut with pointless stock footage of aircraft carriers and helicopters just to say "you idiots will pay to see this crap no matter how insanely awful it is".
I was left even more depressed by the fact that teenagers in the audience applauded the movie at the end. And reading some of the positive reviews here, I genuinely feel sad about the state of America's education system. How anyone can find this movie entertaining is beyond me.