Confusing and Cliché

Rating: 4/10 (26 October 2009)

Dumb, painfully annoying, tainted by Darwinism, confusing, nonsensical, shallow. Sam's parents were unfunny and annoying as usual, though, sadly, were an accurate portrayal of how stupid many parents are. Figuring out who these "prehistoric" Decepticons were ruined the movie since I was always wondering. It was finally explained in a sloppy confusing way towards the end (a little late!). There was no explanation as to why they were hiding during the first movie. One of the ancient Decepticons, who seemed to be "Shockwave" (though was not named), tapped into a satellite. His whole role, respite looking very powerful, was controlling a satellite even though he had detachable transformers he could have used for that job. Also strange was that no one spoke to him.
Another confusing part was when one of the Decepticons was trying to acquire the larger of the fragments of the cube: when the soldiers showed up to investigate, it seemed like the shard was still in the case, at least to me, yet it got away with it apparently. A close up of the shard-holder should have been shown to make it clear it had been removed and for a dramatic effect.
Another stupid thing was when Megatron's leader, whatever his name was, oh yeah: Fallen One (really original eh?) tells the world something like, "Now you can see we can destroy your cities"... DUH?: Wasn't that obvious from the first movie, or were there not enough buildings and cars blown up and broken through with giant robots from outer space Mr. Fallen One? And the destruction wasn't greater than what was in the first movie with the initial volley from the Fallen One. What would have matched his statement is the destruction of half a city at least, not seeing a few buildings fall down on a café and other not so spectacular things.
More confusion was when the grandpa Blackbird bot was brought back to life with the little shard Sam had, but why did it seem to get totally absorbed by the grandpa B. bot? It would have also been helped if someone, before going to search for these ancient transformers, said, "They might not be in the same form as in these pictures (like the Model T Ford shown in one) since none was ever found, and instead one of them is in the form of a Blackbird jet. This Grandpa Blackbird, strangely, transported Sam and the others with him suddenly to another location (how!?). After they crashed, Blackbird / "Skyfire" gave them a bizarre explanation as to how he transported them, but his annoying accent made it too hard to understand him.
Yet another nutty thing was when the matrix was said to be a spiritual thing by one of the ancients in a vision of Sam, but why then did they say to stick it in Prime? And right after Sam screams and holds the Matrix up to stab it into Prime (and what got him to play drama queen like that instead of just getting on his hands and knees looking for a place to insert it? Obviously it was for dramatic effect though.) Another nutty part was when Megatron came back to life, upon doing so he went up through the water of course, but about as soon as he did that he is shown shooting up into space and instantly appearing... WHERE? It seems like he landed on the moon but instead it's some alien planet or moon, but how in the Hell in a few seconds did he end up there? So stupid.
It was a huge let down to see Devastator as vacuum beast rather than modeled after the one in the cartoon. It would have been much cooler for a giant lime-pastel green giant Decepticon engaged in battle and smashing away at the pyramid with his fist and shooting at it with his cannon, instead it was a a King Kong from outer space playing rip-the-bricks-with-my-bare-hands-and-vacuum-parasite-looking-mouth - that was more interesting ho hum effect than cool to me.
Near the end of the movie they are dropped off near him by the Decepticons, but though the reason should have been to scare him into giving up the matrix, instead the Decepticons that dropped them off didn't do much at all it seemed, and there was so much chaos I can't even remember what happened to them when Bumble Bee showed up. Megatron should have been given the parents, then went up to Sam using them as bait/leverage. I guess he was too busy fighting.
Megan Fox was made into a sadistic-humored slut, and nutty. Near the beginning of the movie she's in an absurd super-slut pose, which could have won her Miss Slut Universe. And near the end of the movie she seemed to have gone bi-polar for a few seconds as she hid in a shack, starting when she saw Sam scuffle away in fear to another side of the shack.
And what was with the, "Only a prime can defeat a prime" nonsense? Why would a prime only be able to defeat another? Magic! And why didn't Optimus warn the humans that that was true? What an oversight.
Worst of all, was the cliché dodo advice given by Sam when Mikaela asked him how he knew that the magic fairy dust the matrix pointlessly turned into would resurrect Optimus. Sam said, "Because I believe it.": Can you liberals and fake Christians stop telling the world that whatever you believe or want to do is the right thing to do? THAT "JUST FOLLOW YOUR HEART" is ever a good thing? Stop telling people to abandon reason! It was no different than how the elder Spock in Star Trek 2009 told his younger self to abandon logic. Ironically the horrible stupidity of Transformers 2 showed what a failure it is to just go with your heart (like greed) while leaving God and his commandments behind.