Transformers needs to Transform

Rating: 4/10 (26 June 2009)

I have been waiting for this sequel with great excitement. Surely with a bigger budget and the so called success of the first one. There is no doubt that this movie would be great. I was wrong! OK. Big giant transforming robots are cool. They where cool when I was a kid, they are cool now. Big giant foul mouthed, gangster talking, leg humping robots are stupid. Not only does it show lack of intelligence, it was mind numbing annoying. The sexual comments, foul language, and Hemp Baked Brownies where not the only thing that ruined this movie. Be prepared for a story line with wholes big enough that Optimus Prime could roll full speed through. You get a glimpse of some really cool Transformers, but thats it. A glimpse! No character development, no history. The autobots hardly even talk to each other. At one point I was even wondering if they where in the film. Call me crazy, but I was hoping that this story would generate some Oscar buzz for Optimus Prime. We have seen what such good story lines with films like The Dark Knight and Star Trek. This movie could have been in the same league. Instead we got a big expensive toy commercial. Shame on you Mr. Bay. Shame on you Mr. Spielberg. Shame on you Hasbro. Shame on you Hollywood. My only hope is that the third film is completely "Transformed" from this disaster. I wonder what JJ Abrams or Bryan Singer could do with a movie like this? Hint hint!!