Everything you'll love if you thought the first was great...as below average as the last for everyone else

Rating: 4/10 (15 March 2010)

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning
I'm used to describing the plot at this point in my reviews. But Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has achieved the unthinkable...a 150 minute long film that had a plot that was both too vague to really make out and which I just could not care enough about to follow anyway. How it managed to sustain my attention for this long without me falling asleep I can only attribute to having a vague memory of the major disappointment that was the live action original, which was basically a load of noise and effects that I was able to take in just for the big let down that it was as a huge fan of the animated show as a kid. But, it got the right publicity (if not the greatest reviews) and these kinds of films always tend to do well at the box office with this behind them. And so, action auteur Michael Bay has gone and delivered a sequel that copies the formula of the first film exactly...and inherets all the same problems. What I'm basically saying is, if you're the undemanding kind that loved the first one, you'll have a great time. If you thought it fell below average, it'll be the same flashy but empty experience. And God help you if you hated the first one...
This sequel is every bit as soulless, empty and insincere as the first film, a good twenty minutes-to half an hour overlong to rub salt in the wounds. The writing, dialogue, story and acting (including Megan Fox delivering an appearance where her body and looks are clearly being sold more than her thesping) are all abysmal, and I think it would be hard even for an under twelve year old not to notice it at times. It's a none stop assault of great special effects and explosive action, culminating in a giant showdown at the Egyptian pyramids at the end that's technically amazing but just...all goes completely over your head. It'll do for a lot of movie goers nowadays but I'm glad I go for quality more than quantity. **