Finally Bay has lost it

Rating: 3/10 (20 June 2011)

I really liked the first movie and actually gave it a 9 star rating. Undoubtedly it was a Michael Bay vehicle too, but there he kind of had his s*it together, so the whole thing was bearable while you actually had some time to take in the effects. Now this is the same stuff but with Bay directing it on a pound of cocaine while having an epileptic seizure, it's a catastrophe.
The plot is a logic paradox, the cinematography is confusing, everything is constantly spinning and/or exploding. The audio is deafening and the whole thing just keeps going and going, there is no escape from this pandemonium. The stupid, banal, bull*/it comedy element meant to take the edge of this noise and give you a break from time to time is just bashed in randomly EVERYWHERE and misses the mark completely. Not even the effects keep this above sea level as you simply are too busy with dealing with your motion sickness and cleaning the blood out of your ears to make out what is actually happening. There was some eye candy but to be totally honest I simply don't remember any of it. I praised the incredible production value of the first one which hasn't changed here, but the whole thing is just so raging with mindless content, it is not enjoyable anymore. The only thing I was longing for throughout the whole movie was to see a transformer just sit down for a damn second and silently sip a f/ckin diet coke.
This is a showcase of everything Bay is so infamous for, I have no idea how a mess like this is able to happen at all at this scope. And note, this is the most expensive movie produced so far. Behold capitalism.
3/10