Transformers is a 2 and a half hour worthless mess of a film

Rating: 2/10 (31 July 2009)

I'm giving it 2 stars for the SFX.
In a nutshell, this film is horrible. I know there's plenty of fan boys that are up in arms that the critics "don't know a good movie" and whatnot. The reality is that this really isn't a good movie. It would be a gigantic stretch to even call this "film" tolerable.
It's 2.5 hours of explosions, screaming, and running. In between that, you have HORRENDOUS "comic relief" that would only tickle the funny bone of a 10yr old. Plot? Who cares. The point is to see robots fighting each other right? There is no plot, only an ending to set up another sequel. Even a 1-900 # psychic could see that coming.
If you like shaky cameras, horrible dialog, 150 minutes of plot holes, fight scenes where you can't make out who's hitting who, elementary school jokes, no appealing characters, hugely annoying characters, and wasting money...then this is the film for you! There is absolutely no excuse as to why this film is 2 and a half hours. I wouldn't have been so hard on it if it was 90 minutes. It would still be a terrible wretched piece of cinema, but at least it wouldn't have taken up the majority of my Saturday afternoon.