I went to see Transformers 2 and all I got was this gross disappointment.

Rating: 1/10 (30 June 2009)

Transformers 2 is a full-blown attack on the senses. I left with a massive headache, sore eyes, ringing ears and a sense of disappointment I haven't felt since I finished the last Harry Potter book.
I never write reviews on IMDb.com but I just felt compelled to share with everyone what an epic fail I thought this movie was.
Forgive me if I miss some things as I have already forgotten most of it. Which makes me wonder... has Tranformers 2 caused my brain cells to shrivel up and die; or did I merely block that disturbing 4 billion hours from my memory. Anyhoo, let's carry on...
The movie starts and BAM! bad acting. Intense close-ups for some reason. Blah blah blah. Nothing of importance happens. Shia Lewhateverhisnameis goes to college. That's nice. Megan Fox looking sexy and oddly placed on motorbike. Even worse acting. Zero chemistry between Shia and Megan. Makes me cringe.
Shia's parents provide some sort of comic relief. Average acting, lame jokes and yet I can't help but appreciate the distraction from bad acting/non-existent plot. I almost laughed.
Oh okay, here are some robots now. Which ones are good again? Wait, were those robots in the other movie? So they're new. Okay, which ones are bad? Robots robots ROBOTS ROBOTS BOTORTAIJFHOADVFIUHBDFG.
Here comes army. Army guy from other movie is kinda cute. Who is that random army guy with strange accent?! He appears here and there but never does/says anything significant. Army angry about robots. President has some sort of opinion on the whole robot thing... can't remember what it is.
Hey everyone, let's go to the desert. Egypt that is. Oompa Loompa let's them into the country. No need to check your passports. Carry on. We are in desert now. Somehow contacting high ranking people in army. Hey look, it's Shia's parents. Awkward "sad" scene. Shia tells Dad and Mum to leave. Won't leave without him. Finally they leave. Shia tells Megan to leave. She says she won't leave without him. There is awkward pause. On to next scene! Oh... also robots and army fighting in desert. Destroying pyramids. Too much to handle. Megan Fox running. Boobs flailing. Perfect make-up. Always with her mouth open for some reason. Male friend enjoys her slow motion running.
After several hours robots stop fighting... someone seems to have won. Oh look, it's Optimus Prime. Didn't he die?! Aaaaaaaand cut.
I'm going to take some hard pain-killers and go to bed.