Ugh.

Rating: 1/10 (26 June 2009)

The first Transformers movie caught me off guard. It was perhaps one of my favorites in 2007. The first movie managed to be action packed and fast paced, yet meted out enough character development and plot to make it a good time and worth the 10 bucks I paid to see it. I couldn't wait for the sequel and I wish I had waited...forever or at least until it was in a el-cheapo DVD bin.
The most glaring flaw in this film was the apparent after-thought addition of a plot, if one could even call it a plot. And yes, I know it's an action film and didn't expect a deep plot, but something, anything to keep me interested would have been helpful. Here is how the film proceeds: Opening: great sound and cool robot fighting...
and then it just went on and on and on and on and on and on like that until I simply didn't care anymore. I began to think they put all of the money into repetitive effects and nothing else. Hey Hollywood! Special effects are only special if you don't try to build a film on effects alone! I was so bored at the lack of plot that I began to sing the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon and hoping that Mr. Rogers would emerge the victor and save me from the trite, blurry robot fighting. That's right, cool robot fighting ceases to be entertaining when nothing else seems to happen for the first half of a movie. Close ups of Megan Fox scantily clad and pouty do not count as story. That seemed to be the only respite and she bored me quickly too. By the time the wafer-thin plot was introduced, they had lost me. If the sound effects hadn't been so loud, I would *chosen* to take a nap.
Overall this ended up feeling like an extended toy ad, a series of product placements, and an ad for the military. There were attempts at humor, most of which will amuse the 12 year-olds to whom they want to sell toys. If you are beyond puberty, you are likely to groan at most of the jokes, even occasionally wonder if the script writers were eating the "special brownies" Sam's mother enjoyed so much.
On the bright side, this would be a great movie for drinking games in frat houses, if the goal is hospital-bound alcohol poisoning. If you find it on DVD for 5 bucks and really like counting plot holes, continuity errors, and generally laugh at pitiful movies, you might have fun with it.