Someone should've warned us

Rating: 2/10 (21 September 2013)

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is one of the worst action movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I'm supposed to give you guys a synopsis of the plot of this movie, but... there isn't one! I could copy and paste a synopsis from IMDb, but let's be honest here this crap doesn't make any goddamn sense! WOW! Michael Bay has managed to make a movie that is something ridiculous, something like 2 hours and forty-minutes where nothing happens! NOTHING! There are dozens if not hundreds of plot holes in this piece of crap movie, but I don't have time to list them all... no wait yes I do. Let's list some of them right now. * Why can't Megan Fox act worth a damn?! *How come Jetfire has the ability to teleport when no one else does? *Why does Michael bay think we give a crap about any of the human characters?! * Where was that place where the fallen was on? Was it an asteroid? *How come the military couldn't contact their troops in Egypt when a diplomat could talk to command... from Egypt! * If the fallen is so powerful why did he have to revive Megatron? Is he just lazy, he could've clearly killed Optimus by himself and to top it off: It's been shown how untrustworthy and power hungry Megatron is, so why would you trust him of all people? You have an entire army at your disposal, even though it is relatively weakened why not just send Devastator, Starscream, and that giant wheel-bot from the beginning that was like as tall as a skyscraper? It would've been just as effective. *How come Jetfire has a beard? *Why did the Decepticons kidnap Sam's annoying ass parents? *And since when could Transformers transform into hot chicks? The characters in this movie are really annoying. Why do we need human characters in a Transformers movie? Why?! They serve no purpose in the context of the plot. Why do we need Megan Fox? I'm going to disprove of all those guys who says "Well she's hot, so you shouldn't mind" and "Real men like Megan Fox" Anybody who says these things is a idiot that should be put in a rocket and that rocket should be sent to the goddamn moon. I don't need Transformers to show me hot girls! I could go on the internet and download that type of shlock for free, and it'll probably have more of a plot to it than Revenge Of the Fallen. So to those who go to Transformers movies to see Megan Fox and hot girls: Please for all of our sakes: grow up. All that Megan Fox does in this movie is say stupid stuff like "Oh Sam, I'll never leave you Sam" (Which apparently she did, loll) or "We are in this together Sam" I mean cut me a break, the romance in the first movie was horrible but here it is even WORSE! Plus the woman just cannot act, maybe she should just become a stripper or something (God knows she certainly dresses like one), and plus she is not attractive: She looks like a goddamn plastic doll, apparently she spent a fortune on plastic surgery, breast implants, and truckloads of makeup and she also devoured the souls of little teenage boys while doing so. And to be fair: I have seen children at elementary school plays give better performances: She has no charisma, no personality, NOTHING! And they add in way too many new robots, it gets to the point where I can't tell the difference between them anymore cause they all look the same. All of them are grey color except for Optimus Prime who is red, The Fallen who is blue,Bumblebee who is yellow, and Mudflap and Skids who are green and red. I mean, they introduce like 30 new Decepticons and you learn the names of like 5 of them. If you had trouble following the first movie, well let's just say as someone who was able to follow the first one, I couldn't tell what the hell was going on. I think that this also leads into my next topic which is: Transformers Revenge Of the Fallen contains some of the worst actions scenes I have ever seen. I mean seriously, Uwe Boll would watch Revenge Of the Fallen, to feel better about himself. Every action scene is shot too close, to frantic, and in such weird angels that it is impossible to tell what the hell is going on. I compare it to if in the first Matrix during the lobby shootout scene someone took a tree and covered the screen so that you couldn't tell what the heck was happening. I also hate this films sense of humor, I mean Michael Bay just isn't funny. The jokes are sexist, racist, childish, and so offensive that in fact they are actually kind of embarrassing:It's like South Park if you took out EVERYTHING that made South Park good and funny you would most likely end up with this. Like the scene where Shia's character's annoying mom eats a bunch of brownies that contain drugs and she goes around being all high and crap and making unfunny jokes, I literally face palmed during that scene. If you found anything in this movie funny, shame on you, SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR HORRIBLE TASTE IN HUMOR! Transformers Revenge Of the Fallen is one of the worst movie sequels Ihave ever seen, and I've seen a lot. Michael Bay really dropped theball on this one, hell even Michael Bay and Shia Lebouf think that Revenge Of The Fallen is crap, no one can defend this turd of a film after even the director and the main star call it crap. All copies of this movie should be burned on sight.