This is what happens when a leering 13 year old boy makes a movie

Rating: 2/10 (25 October 2009)

Save yourself time and irritation.
Get all your metal pots and pans out of the cupboard. Put them in a big box. Shake the box violently for a few minutes.
Then imagine yourself locked in a room with an obsessive, randy, amoral, leering thirteen-year-old boy. You are forced to listen to his sniggering fantasies and knuckle-dragging notions of humor.
Do that, and you've approximated the experience of enduring this movie. Honestly, it could have been a spiritual docu-tragedy about Michael Bay, subtitled Fantasies of the Fallen.
Honestly, were there NO adults on the set? NOBODY who could say, "Michael, dude — no. Just no. Now, tear that up, sit down, and come up with a *story*"? Evidently not.
T:ROTF has more metal clanging in scenes where you can't tell which is doing what to which. There are humping dogs (again and again), humping robots (I kid you not), sexual language, the S-word, blasphemies, the F-bomb (I thought that made a movie "R"), a baffling and pointless and utterly non-credible romance, the most annoying major male character since Phantom Menace or Terminator 2, the most annoying side-kick since Jar-Jar... eesh!
It is as if Bay completely misunderstood what made the first movie fun to watch, extracted all the most obnoxious elements (discarding the rest), added dialog and imagery picked up in a junior high school locker room, and made a movie based on it.
My regret is not bailing after the first humping dog. You have better things to do with your life. I'm sure of it.
If you don't — seek help. Seriously.