This Film Is The Fallen

Rating: 3/10 (22 June 2015)

While Transformers was watchable entertainment and at a reasonable amount of decibels, this atrocity is somehow less then below par. With a story as cryptic and senseless as the symbols Sam scribbles at the films beginning, this is a disappointment even considering the low plotting standards automatically set in regards to a Micheal Bay film. Grossing just over one billion dollars, this is clearly a franchise which is here to stay. Our silly director seems to feel that explosive shouldn't mean awe inspiring, but it should be taken as, "We need more explosions and maybe some more robots just for good measure." Clocking in at over two and a half hours with a 90 minute plot, scaling a pyramid, the bloated running time is a main factor in the annoyance in this films existence alone. The sound effects are deafening and repetitive. If you watch this at home, your neighbors will call the police with a noise complaint. Sam is terrorized by a searing hot model who is actually a robot,(of course), and has a metal snake which slithers out of her rear end. Megan Fox is the only attractive thing in this film, yet her presence is constantly and sadly ruined with a perverted RC robot humping her leg. Shia LaBoeuf is an irritation on screen rather then a part of the story on screen, and the pair of racist, foul mouthed robots is as unwelcome as a Blade Runner sequel. The new robot villain has a beard(?), because when technology ages, it develops Gray hairs and wrinkles, not corrosion. In conclusion, Micheal Bay should stop recycling scrap metal, and should instead consider disposing of it, preferably off screen.