Autobots MEGA U-Turn NOW!!!

Rating: 3/10 (7 December 2013)

Michael Bay surprised us all finally with a somewhat, well executed live action adaptation of the "Transformers". Clearly it was the beginning of a million dollar franchise, that after viewing this piece of crap would only be renowned for stereotypes and horrendous dialogue (But still very impressive CGI).
Reviewing this in three acts. SOMEHOW that giant city battle at the end of the first movie, that was witnessed by thousands SOMEHOW has been covered up by the government (How?).
Act 1: Cue horrendous romance between teenage-angst poster child Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), and walking boobs Mikaela Barnes (Megan Fox). His ridiculous comic relief parents take him to college, where the mum gets high (Y'know for kids) and bids him farewell. Act 2: Optimus Prime continues to recruit more Autobots to his cause (Even racially sensitive twins apparently), whilst destroying the scouting Decepticons who eventually gain the upper hand through the mysterious "Fallen". This leads Sam to again help fight this intergalactic war. Act 3: No doubt a visually stunning finale of a battle sequence, WHERE THIS APPARENT ULTIMATE EVIL IS DEFEATED WITHIN 1 MINUTE BEHIND A BRICK WALL! All wrapped up in seconds, as if they had to cue credits three minutes after.
Final Verdict: Even by blockbuster standards, what happened Michael Bay? There's insulting an audiences intelligence, but by delivering something so inferior you would have been better off giving us the trimmings of the cutting room floor. I apologies to fans of the franchise, but I cannot help but feel this will KILL the franchise for you as it certainly has for me. 3/10.