Michael Bay made this movie knowing kittens would die

Rating: 3/10 (24 July 2009)

How to dissect a movie that has tarnished a grown man's childhood...
Michael Bay and his posse shamelessly copy and pasted this movie from others before it. The first part is straight out of 2001:A Space Odyssey, and if you ask me, just as boring and pointless. At least Kubrick was breaking new ground and should be given credit for such. Bay has proved to us that special effects are possible... but you already knew that.
The dialogue is painful, truly painful. I really couldn't understand the low brow humor with foul language. I am one of the few people that thought Tom Green's Freddy Got Fingered was funny and that movie is as low brow as it gets. Throwing a random swear word in here or there, or letting Jersey accented robots and dogs hump about was not just off color it was off target. This has nothing to do with transformers or the plot or reality for that matter.
The worst offenses: Mrs. Witwiki - a character that is so overdone you are surprised she hasn't publicly apologized for her actions - expect a golden raspberry for this one. College scenes - clearly shows that Michael Bay either A) never went to college B) was higher than GW Bush and doesn't remember it. There is nothing even remotely realistic about the aforementioned segments. The roommate that inexplicably has an Indian IT call center in his dorm room and the ridiculous secretary of defense get honorable mention for incredulous characters.
The movie was so fast that there really was no pace.. just a blur. You couldn't figure out who was who or what was even going on. I felt like I was 90% blind when the transformers were on screen because I couldn't see who they were, what they were doing, or what they even looked like other than a CGI blob.
Final words. There is no story, there is no shame, there is no reason to pay money to see this movie.
They should've used the 200 million to feed hungry children or something instead of giving it to convicted killer (of the transformers franchise) Michael Bay