All flash no bang

Rating: 5/10 (28 June 2009)

Let me start this by saying that I have been a Transformers (TF) fan since day one. I still have my G1 Optimus Prime. I know most of the names by heart and I have every word memorized from the animated movie.
This being said one would think that anything with Autobots and Decepticons would tickle my fancy and normally you'd be right. I loved the first movie and wore out 4 dvds working on #5. (they just will not play anymore.:)Unfortunately this movie left me wanting my Hard Borrowed 10 bucks back and made me feel like Michael Bay killed my best friend.
The FX were stunning but FX can only make up half of a good movie. Like raw sugar hitting a soar tooth, after awhile I found my eyes throbbing and my head pounding trying to keep up with the hyper fast movements and the ear splitting sounds. I lost most of the dialog in the over use of sound FX.
Though I recognized a lot of the TF I felt as though 3 of them were robbed of a back story. They made several mentions of these three appearing in the last 2 years and how they were kinda suspicious only to wait 2.5 hours for one to have one line. Then 2 of the 3 were destroyed. All that mystery, all that build up and nothing to show for it.
In the first movie you got to know the the main characters Bumble bee Prime Sam etc. It was as if I was reliving my childhood all over again. In this one there was little introductions and even less dialog that was not yelling over the explosions. There was no real beginning, middle and end. Even the cartoons when a major toy or character was introduced that character had at least an episode or a good part of one to get to know and understand them and this was 22 minutes or less. Grimlock and the dinobots being only one example of this.
The one thing that really grinded my gears though, was Optimus. He was my first and is still my favorite TF, as I mentioned above, Prime has always been a soldier, a fighter tempered with wisdom. He entered each battle with respect for his enemy and although in the cartoons no one was ever destroyed totally he entered each battle knowing he had no other choice and he himself may not walk away. You could hear the pain in his voice. A good example of this was in the animated movie just before Prime fell to Megatron. He said "Megatron must be stopped no matter the cost." It was not what he said but the way he said it. TF1 had this feel even more so at the end. "You left me no other choice my brother."
In TF2 Prime was cocky almost arrogant. He shot an unarmed Transformer in the head with little to no remorse and then lines
Megatron: "Would you sacrifice our people for one human?"
Optimus: "You wouldn't stop at just one."
All while Sam is running for his life. As though if Megatron would have stopped at just Sam well that would be okay. there was no wisdom in those lines.
Then all that built up noise and the final battle pitters out like a 2 year old bottle rocket thhhhhhit pop....yay... The only words in my head was "all that for nothing."
My final thoughts:
It is a good flick for what it is, A time killer. Its sad it had the name transformers on it but for mind numbed shinny things moving from one side then blurring to the other its okay. I find myself wishing I had waited till the DVD came to a bargain bin at Wal-mart though, at least then I would have more for my 10 bucks then a headache and a slip of paper that says "TRANSFORE".
Simply put, wait till it hits the discount movie houses and if you are not lucky enough to have one, wait for it on DVD and rent it.