Appalling

Rating: 4/10 (27 December 2009)

Basically, the only elements of the film worthy of stars are the outstanding CGI, Megan Fox (albeit not for her acting skills) and the motorbike Autobots (a Ducati, MV Augusta and a Buell to keep our Stateside friends happy.)
But enough of the positives - I get the feeling Michael Bay only made this feature for the numerous zeroes on the pay cheque...
There's Sam's mum, who is only in the film to annoy me and anyone else with half a brain unfortunate to see this and a close encounter with some space cakes while dropping Sam off at college actually takes away from the film (and my IQ points.) Coupled with the immensely irritating small-scale Deceptacons which appear numerous times and do nothing but attempt to make any 8 year-olds watching have a giggle by dropping some ill-timed slapstick humour into the mix and talk in an infuriating garbled attempt at endearing themselves with the audience.
This is only half an hour into the film, which follows the pattern of immense CGI action scene followed by human interest segment followed by immense CGI action scene followed by, well, you get the picture...
I lasted an hour, which is an hour of my life that I'll never get back. Thanks Mr. Bay.