I do hope revenge will come!

Rating: 4/10 (27 June 2009)

This review contains harsh language. There are also a number of spoilers. Neither are avoidable, so if you are offended by either do not read on. I had such high expectations. I was not going to be discouraged by the initial reviews. Sadly, this time I have to agree. Yes, it's big, it's loud, it has dizzyingly impressive visuals and big explosions, and transforming alien robots. The problem is, it's also in this order. The Transformers - the namesakes of this production, for crying out loud - come last. Apart from them the film is more like a big-budget advertising reel for the US army. The only thing missing are directions on where to sign up.
The Transformers seem to be there mainly to provide a reason for America to mobilise against something - and for comic relief. Take the "twins". Take the little "spybot". Take Jetfire (in the source material one of the most powerful Autobots). Take Bumblebee: His character is reduced to a fierce but cute guard doggy for Spike. At the end of the last film he had learnt to speak. Now he's back to making unintelligible but adorable sounds. Even Starscream (my favourite): He was introduced as one of the most dangerous of all Decepticons in the previous film, where he took on several Autobots and armies of human soldiers. Now he's little more than an embarrassingly comical coward.
The first half or so of the movie is actually fairly promising with some clever Decepticon trickery and introducing some of my favourite characters (like Soundwave, Ravage, the Constructicons or Arcee). They even bring back Megatron - which still adds a star to this rating. Then follow some episodes about family, college life and how bloody omni-present the CIA are. In the end, though, most of the big heroics - and most of the screen time - go to US soldiers showing off their impressive equipment and response times. Note that in the beginning China's military takes no action - they wait for the US to save the day. Note also that the Autobots actually live as shiny cars in a US army base and only get hoisted around when they are needed - like extras. Then, when we finally get to the climatic battle I had to sit and watch helplessly as Devastator (in the source the ultimate Decepticon fighting machine) is taken out by some damn US secret weapon and an entire Decepticon army is wiped out by an American air strike. The Autobots, who also take part in the battle, are mainly seen in the background shooting at nothing in particular. The face-off between Optimus Prime and the Fallen then comes almost as an after-though. As in: "oh, yes, we still have to finish off that part of the plot." Now, the source material has always involved the army. It is, after all, about war. That's generally fine. So, in the first film it was tolerable since it also preserved some classic moments. Or so I felt. This one, however, has clearly crossed the line. All I see here is that some great source material has been raped - yes, raped! - so that Americans can once again feel good about their eff-ing army.
I went to see this film to see - well, surprise! - the Transformers. What I got was a story about how America's army is so cool they can even take on alien robots. So, maybe this film should be more appropriately named "USA and the Transformers". After the first film I had tears in my eyes for finally seeing the material come the big screen. After this my eyes almost watered again. Only this time it was tears of disappointment and frustration. This film was obviously only made to make more big money with a big franchise and Megan Fox wearing tight outfits. I'm afraid and sad it may even work. I feel this is an insult to the community that so loves these characters. I hope we can go on as if this hadn't happened. I say it now and I mean it: I will not watch any third instalment if it is still Michael Bay and his creative team producing it.