An awful sequel

Rating: 4/10 (1 July 2009)

For the record, I thought the first transformers movie was a fine start for a live action transformers trilogy. I did have some gripes with it (Mainly being that the transformers themselves didn't seem to have that much screen time, much less fighting each other). But I figured, hey, Michael Bay will take the time to learn from the first movie and make an even better sequel!
BOY was I wrong.
First, I will give you some of the positives about this film.
1. More giant robot action 2. More slomo Megan Fox (If you're into that kind of thing) 3. More interaction between the decepticons, Particularly Megatron and Starscream, giving them a truer G1 feel
And now Lets get to the negatives
1. Most of the autobots that I looked forward to seeing were basically ABSENT the entire film. I want to say that besides Optimus and "the twins" (More on them in a bit) no autobot had more than two lines the entire film. Yes we did get more robot action in a sense but none of it really mattered to me when I barely knew any of the characters fighting. Some of the new additions had virtually no lines and were barely even featured in the movie. To complete the ensemble we also have Simmons and Roommate who are almost as annoying to watch. Overall very disappointing.
2. "The Twins". I'm sure if you haven't seen the movie, most of you have heard about this lovable duo. WOW are they annoying! Just blatant stereotypes of uneducated hood rats, complete with a gold tooth and little to no reading skills. Truly a pain too watch throughout the movie, especially considering they could have used the screen time to focus on much better characters they already had.
3. The humor. They took the humor from the first movie, and basically cracked that baby all the way to 11. And if you think that's a good thing, boy I wish I had your sense of humor, cause all I got was a load of static. Seriously though at times the humor seemed so forced and unnecessary I wanted throw something at the screen. Needless to say a majority of the jokes includes robo-balls, old man behind, robo-humping, dog-humping, robo-genetalia... You get the picture. Crude, rude, and 100% unoriginal
4. The Plot. I won't spoil much of anything, but I just want to say there are some parts that still have me shaking my head. The writing was not exactly top notch either, suffice to say I had to cringe every once in awhile to think "Did he/she really just say that?"
Too top it all off, the film goes on for a long time, long enough where near the end I had a head-ache from watching everything going on. In the end, I really didn't care too much what happened because the best of the movie had already past and I was just waiting for it too end. Some may like this just to get their daily dose of intense action scenes,which were fantastic, but not enough to save this movie from being entertaining for anyone that wants more than a mass of cgi and lame sex jokes.
Oh and before I forget
5. Devastator, Nothing like the original version and completely useless at that. Seemed more like a slow dying gorilla.
See this only If you do not have to pay money.