Softcore Porn meets Artillery Barrage

Rating: 1/10 (25 June 2009)

I am at a loss to put into words the amount that Transformers, quite frankly, 'sucked.' The fact that a multi-million dollar budget and who- knows-how-many tonnes of explosives produced such a phenomenally uninteresting and poorly-crafted action film is beyond me. Micheal Bay, who I unashamedly call the village idiot of Hollywood, isn't able to maintain an engaging storyline (or what I would more accurately describe as a sensical arrangement of explosions) or for that matter an engaging anything. What ensues is a clumsy combination of hit and miss comedy, tediously long 'action' scenes, terribly written 'emotive' scenes and indecent use of the slow motion effect. Micheal Bay and the scriptwriters ought to be ashamed of themselves as well as the horde of idiots who have given this film a 10. I am shocked that Spielberg has had his name associated with such a pathetic excuse for a film. Wrestling fans: this is a must-see.