Who else wants a Zack Snyder Reboot down the line?

Rating: 3/10 (28 October 2010)

Having just re-watched it on cable last weekend, the first time I've seen it since getting ripped off in theaters last year, I can definitely say it got worse on second viewing and will definitely download the next one.
The first hour seemed decent enough if a bit underwhelming in parts due to the overly comedic parents having much more screen time than ever. But then the retarded hillbilly auto-bots showed up as poor excuses of comic relief and that's when everything started downhill (on a steep slope at that).
WARNING : Somewhat disjointed rants and SPOILERS on various parts of the movie upcoming.
The story is one of the worst pieces of possible stories they could come up with, like a really bad fan fiction. The fallen? Megatron was built up to be some bad mutha****** and then in the sequel he has a mentor/master just biding his time since the past thousand years? Oh and mega-tron could just hop back and forth to Cybertron and back faster than a daily commute? Also Prime happens to arrive in the nick of time to save Sam's pansy ass yet again WITH BUMBLEBEE but with no other auto-bots in the immediate vicinity to help him tussle with the decepticons? His death tried too much to be a shocker to be effective since it is also in part due to his clumsiness that did him in. Now comes the downward skid on the cliff-side... It then turns into the most boring imitation of National Treasure clue trailing we've ever seen, with yet another dumbfounding new character, the aged Jetfire, who is apparently some senile Decepticon who conveniently transferred allegiances for PERSONAL REASONS (WTF). Oh and he also has a cane and needs it apparently unlike Megatron who was frozen in ice for thousands of years. So he shares the story of the primes, who look just as bland and as boring as one another, who fought off the fallen AND WON, and so they being the all-powerful primes they are, decide the best way to safeguard an all-important artifact (matrix of leadership) from an immortal war-bot is to turn themselves into part of the Egyptian scenery. /facepalm. And what's the payoff? A terribly underwhelming "climactic" battle and an incompetent devastator who got owned in the face by one of the hillbilly auto-bots. Oh and a super buffed up Optimus who got powered up by the spare parts of the geezer-bot Jetfire.
***Other rants and complaints*** Soundwave could've used his old VA instead of the generic sounding and pretty much heard one/heard them all VO, a little tribute would've been nice since Megatron's was boring enough despite being voiced by Weaving.
Ravage could've had a better design than having just one eye?
We could've done without most of the college scene, the new Mexican sidekick who tasered himself, the military grunts and Turturro's ass shot. Actually they should've been scrapped altogether (WHERE WERE THE TEST AUDIENCES FOR THIS CRAP).
Why the hell was bumblebee still unable to speak when he already could at the end of the first one? That talking through the radio/lyrics thing was cute AT FIRST.
The robots fighting was novel in the first movie but now it just got old, really old.
Optimus Prime (After merging/powering up with Jetfire's parts/spark): Let's Roll *Flies off with his jet-pack* /facepalm who wrote the dialog for that.
It was an hour and 49 minutes? Jesus Christ it seemed like 2+hrs minimum. *** END RANT***
Such a shame that the digital wizardry of ILM is wasted on this atrocity of a movie. Michael Bay should be dragged out a a back alley and thrown in the dumpster for what he's done. If there ever was a valid use for a time machine, it would be to stop myself from watching this. All I could ever think of while watching this (even the first one), was how much better I could have done it, and I would have if I could. *SIGH*
PLEA TO ZACK SNYDER: Please reboot the series maybe half a decade or so from now as I have complete faith in your adherence to the source material and will not deviate far (if at all) just to satisfy the masses.
You can: 1. Bring back Optimus' VA, and use Megatron's and Starscream's and definitely Soundwave's for the nostalgic touch.
2. Make the robots look less messy and junk-heap looking
3. Make Spike and Sparkplug actual mechanics instead of some Suburb Family.
4. Actually do justice to a gestalt by having it fight the auto-bots instead of John Turturro and the hillbilly-bots.
5. Many more but I need to go now (maybe I can edit this in the future but you get the gist).