Transformers....Michael Bay should be shot....

Rating: 4/10 (21 November 2009)

You the worst thing about this movie is not that I sat through all 2.5 hours of it. It's that I fell asleep about an hour in, only to wake up a little later and find there was STILL another hour to go! Michael Bay...seriously...are you eight years old? This entire film is like watching a child play with his toys. There's no plot worth a damn, just a succession of explosions and running about. Very little makes any kind of sense at all. The transformers seem to be anthropomorphised into horrible clichéd stereotypes of American culture.
But realistically, I can't really blame Micky B for this debacle. We (by which I mean the rest of you, of course) told him how great the first movie was and, like a praised Labrador, he got all excitable and started jumping up and barking until he finally yacked up the ball of vomit that is Transformers 2.
Tedious would be an understatement to describe this film. Mr Bay appears to have forgotten (if he ever knew) that a good film is character-driven, not action driven. If you don't care about the characters, what is the point of watching the film in the first place? Ooooh! Look at the pretty pictures.....Aaaaaah! an explosion! Then later.....what's going on? God help us all when Transformers 3 gets here. Though it's hard to see how even Bay can out-Bay himself next time. I prophesy, however, more mind-numbing repetitive action and explosion sequences. Oh, and even more annoying Gremlin rip-off bots.
Unless your 10 or under, or have a sub-standard IQ, best avoid this direly insulting movie.