If you make a movie about a kids toy, make it so kids can watch it...

Rating: 3/10 (11 July 2009)

Seems simple enough to do, making a movie about a toy into a movie that the owners of those toys can watch. Seems simple, but not for Michael Bay. I can only assume that M.B. grew up playing with the plastic transformers. So WHYYYYYYYYY all the senseless crap!!! Take a cue from Peter Jackson or George Lucas on how to create an epic film without nonsense. I do not wish to spoil this movie for anyone without kids. If you do not have children and understand the difference between right and wrong- go ahead, my review cannot save you from yourself. If I had not seen the first movie and rationalized the PG-13 rating based on that criteria, I would not have taken my children to see this movie. I am by no means a radical conservative. The very fact that I took my children to see this film should attest to that. But I could not enjoy this movie because of the massive quantity of humorless vulgarities and the inescapably shallow characters. My kids seemed to enjoy it just fine, they whispered amongst themselves just about every time one of these scenes came and went. I almost walked out, and I should have, but I spent 40 bucks getting in and I kept thinking the action would keep the characters from additional dialog, which it didn't. The first movie was funny and witty with action intense but appropriate. This movie was juvenile and stupid. The action, while good, leads you into sensory overload about 1/2 way in, and there's still over 1 hour of it left. Bottom line: Michael Bay got my theater money, but he won't be getting my DVD money. And in the case of Transformers 3- Rise of the Pornobots- He won't get either.