Drivel. It's shameful that this will be remembered in the Transformers legacy

Rating: 1/10 (10 July 2009)

Well, I enjoyed it as it happened, but after some reflection...I've come to the understanding that this film is very, VERY messy.
A lot of people defending this film are saying the action scenes are spectacular. Sure, they're spectacular...if you like trying to figure out just who's who and what's going on. Most of the time the characters are so obscured by objects/smoke that you can't see the "action" that everyone's raving about. When they're not behind something, the camera's changing every five seconds that you can't focus on the mess before you. The only cool part about these action scenes is the intense way some of the Transformers are disfigured.
The over-all plot, story, and script of this thing comes together in the most ugly way possible. Most people are complaining about it being too all over the place, or that there wasn't one at all. Unfortuneatly, it's hard not to agree on both fronts. There was no flow, no suspense, no build up, no up, no down, just one flat line of point a to point b to point c. The intense battles would have been made more intense had they been preceded by some sort of build up, but they just kind of...happened. The plot in and of itself has the makings of something epic. MULTI-FILM EPIC. The script used to flesh out this story was mediocre AT BEST. It could have been so much more than what it was, it could have spaced apart plot points by delving into the characters (specifically: the transformers). Instead, the film was littered with unnecessary, and often crude jokes.
Heck, this overly cartoony humor was barely present in the first film. Now it's been ramped up to over 9000, and it severely offsets any emotional impact the film might have had. Most of it would have been better suited to something like Aqua Teen Hunger Force, at least there crude humor comes off clever. It's really sad we had to put up with all of that instead of enjoying some actual quality time with our favorite machines.
And, speaking of which, the lack of Transformer character development presents itself yet again. You would think after fans complained about the infrequent amount of Transformer screen time in the first, then things would have been different now. Nope. We still don't know what they're thinking, who they are as living beings, or really anything about them except that they shoot at the opposing force. And why would they just sit around in car mode when they were hidden? They came from a planet where they walked around freely, one would think they'd enjoy being able to just be themselves.
The annoying liberties that were taken here in the name of artistic licensing are nauseating. I understand this is an "adaptation" and that things aren't going to be 100% to the source material. However, completely rewriting a character's personality is like killing off a loved one and replacing them with someone completely different. They also went waaaay to far with appearance, as well. Being a fan of a character from the series isn't' going to matter much here because there's a good chance they've been overhauled beyond recognition. Heck, the only one that barely made the transition from cartoon/comic to this blight of a film is Optimus Prime. No one else even remotely resembles their previous incarnations. From personality to appearance, this piece of work tramples all of the work of those before it...AND the fans they had sought to please.
The film's treatment of characters like Sky/Jetfire is utterly appalling. It's proof that the people involved in this film don't actually give a crap about the characters in their movie. Then again, the lack of character development makes that just as obvious.
The character design here is also noticeably different from the previous film. In the last film, all of the machines were quite bulky, a little more humanoid. The new ones here all seemed to be cartoony or very streamlined. The mini transformers all seemed to sport bug eyes, where as the ones last time around did not. Why would this new batch, decepticon and autobot alike, differ so much from the others? It's not like they were all brand new, they'd been around as long as the others. I dunno, different art direction from film to film grates on my nerves, especially when it comes to character design.
And, for the love of sanity, WHY can't they treat women like people? If I wanted to gawk at girls who were just there because they're pretty I would look up questionable material online. I honestly feel sorry for her and any other actress who doesn't actually get a chance to show off any acting talent they might have. I don't have a problem with them showing a girl as being pretty in the film...but if that's all they concentrate on then they can just get right the heck out.
The rest of the talent on hand might as well have been treated the same way. No one was really given an opportunity to actually do much acting, it was all jokes and running.
The movie's fun, but if you have a brain you'd better shut it off or your going to find yourself wanting to bring some pain to the creators of this drivel. And for the love of pete, just because it's an "action" film doesn't mean the film can't have substance. It's possible to have a load of brain-flexing story AND explosions.