A shamefully trite and pointless film

Rating: 1/10 (29 June 2009)

I didn't think a film could be any worse than the first Transformers stinker, which destroyed in one sad Hollywood bomb a franchise for which I had fond memories. I didn't think the shameless corporate advertising and abominable military propaganda from that film would be repeated. Then I remembered having seen 4.2 minutes of Pearl harbor (completely by mistake; I was waiting for my tires to be rotated) and shuddered.
Yes, Michael Bay can make worse cinema than the first so-called Transformers film.
And so he did. I have never before witnessed such trite and random comic relief than what this film offers (OK, a middle-aged woman whining that things suck? the same woman repeatedly using adolescent curses? the WWE-style trash-talking between robots?), and I had no idea you could pack hundreds of instances of such superfluous nonsense into just one instance of cinema.
If that's not enough to put you to sleep, add in about 35 minutes' footage of robots transforming. Sorry; not interesting. Not even a 2-year old will remain engaged after the first drawn-out alteration. I know this for a fact; mine fell asleep 7 minutes into the film. I joined her for about 20 minuted at the beginning of the second hour and was very ticked off to find I hadn't missed anything.
I won't go off on the military recruitment propaganda anymore - if you're too stupid to see through it yourself that's your problem.
The final word on this film: good thing I stole it. No single person is more deserving of having his 'art' stolen than Michael Bay, and no studio deserves to sell one less ticket than Paramount for having allowed such utter trash to be distributed to the public.