Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen - A Wavy Davy Review

Rating: 7/10 (21 June 2009)

Ridiculous! What an absolutely ridiculous movie! I still cannot decide whether I detest or love this movie and the swirl of robot carnage which Michael Bay delivers slickly. I have plumped for a diplomatic seven as it neither deserves full praise, no film by Michael Bay does, yet I came out with my adolescent male blood pumping to Linkin Park's great new song.
Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is trying to forget about the events of the first film, and even leaves his loyal friend Bumblebee, parents and girlfriend (Megan Fox) to go to college. (Once again Fox displays a lack of acting ability, but I think we will forgive her for that). Sam discovers a remaining piece of the Allspark, which imprints a map onto his mind (seriously!) to a device which can destroy our Sun. With the resurrection of Megatron, and the return of his scheming master The Fallen, Sam is suddenly in high demand, with everyone wanting his mind. Sam goes globetrotting with a century old Deception, his sleazy college room-mate (they never seem to ask him what he is doing with them!), and other friends from the last movie. To make things worse, Sam's ever embarrassing parents are captured by the Decepticons (a very strange, and seemingly unnecessary sub-plot). This messy storyline turns into a mission to save the Earth, so Sam must save the day.
Does that seem a lot of information for a Michael Bay film? Well, that is because it is a lot. It is too long at two and a half hours, something I noticed clearly with the high proportion of people needing to nip out to the toilet. There is a fabulous scene in forestry where Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) fights off multiple Decepticons, which could probably have served as the end of the movie. Instead, it is dragged out for another hour or so, leaving the audience a bit tired and, I have to say, the excitement of seeing crazily complicated fights between robots has waned. There is also a distinct feeling that Bay simply has a craving for Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson walking in slow motion, as except for these cool shots there was no other reason for them in this film. Ultimately, what can a sharp shooting soldier really do against killer machines that turn into very cool cars? We even get a strange few lines from an English soldier whose accent is as strong as the robots themselves.
There is not a similar feeling of worthlessness to John Turturro's return as Agent Simmons, now living at a deli with his mother. Turturro actually rescues the film when interest begins to fade, and lifts it to the climax at the end.
Despite Turturro's injection of humour and interest, Revenge of the Fallen cannot hide from the fact that it has a very, very similar plot to that of the first movie. Both end up with similar scenes, Sam running to stop the Decepticons from using a machine (the Allspark before, and now the Matrix) to destroy the world. Part of the reason these films are just SO insanely stupid is the fact that the villains are too one dimensional, with seemingly very little reason to destroy the earth other than their hatred of the Autobots (does that make sense?).
Some may say this film was just too ridiculous. I thought that for a while. But then I thought, is it any more ridiculous than a small man with hairy feet trying to destroy a ring, or Bruce Willis saving the world from an asteroid? Transformers 2 has some comic moments, some exciting moments and even some sad moments, but not enough of these pockets of quality to fill the two and a half hour run-time. It is a fun action romp, but be prepared! For full enjoyment be willing to turn off all, and I mean ALL ounce of common sense!
7/10