Revenge of the Brain-Dead Summer Movie

Rating: Null/10 (11 July 2011)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
1/2 (out of 4)
Who ever knew that $200-million could make for such an ugly piece of junk? Michael Bay's sequel to his 2007 mega-hit features Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky, who this time is heading off to college leaving his girlfriend (Megan Fox) back at home. While at college Sam begins seeing cryptic symbols and soon the Decepticons are coming after him. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is an incredibly stupid, loud, obnoxious and rather worthless picture that perfectly shows what's so wrong with Hollywood today. Why on Earth would someone green light a picture like this and why on Earth would someone like Steven Spielberg not ask for a re-write of the screenplay? I understand this is a summer blockbuster so the "story" isn't the most important thing but what we have here has to be one of the worst written screenplays in the history of cinema and I still can't get over how someone wouldn't at least try to fix some of the various problems going on. Just take a look at how poorly written all of the human characters are. It really seems as if they're in some sort of bad sitcom because we get some of the most obnoxious scenes you're ever going to witness and what makes them so painful to watch is how unfunny they are. Take a look at the scene where Sam is getting dropped off at college and his parents embarrass him but it gets even worse when the mother eats some hash brownies and goes crazy on campus. Give me a break. Did someone in the script stages actually think this was funny? The dialogue going back and forth between the characters are just brain-numbing bad because it really does come off as if they don't know what they're talking about and just making up words and putting them together without any thought. A Bay film usually at least delivers on the action but even these scenes are rather boring here. Once again there are a lot of explosions, loud noises and of course things going boom but all of them are rather ugly and poor looking. I think it's obvious that most of the $200-million budget went towards the CGI effects but I found all of them to be quite poor, which is rather shocking considering how good they looked in the first picture. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is a really, really bad movie on all levels but how it got to the shooting stages is beyond me.