The Vidiot Reviews...

Rating: Null/10 (29 September 2011)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
For humans, "dark of the moon" refers to the anus area of the person mooning.
For the transmogrifying space-creatures in this sci-fi movie, however, it means the enslavement of humanity.
When Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) learns that a ship from his home world is marooned on the moon, he helms a mission to retrieve its sole occupant, his mentor: Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy).
Unfortunately, Megatron (Hugo Weaving) and the Decepticons arrived at the wreckage years earlier and claimed the cargo – pillars to connect a spacebridge between Earth and Cybertron.
Hoping to prevent its assembly is Optimus' human friend Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and his new squeeze (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley).
While it's the best of the trilogy, Dark of the Moon is still a 3-hour muddle of mechanical components clanging out a cacophonous din of dumbness.
Besides, there are more important things that could've been recovered from the moon, like Buzz Aldrin's wallet. (Red Light)