"Transformers: Dark of the Moon"- Misogynistic, bloated eye-candy Fun to watch for the visuals, but the 'writing' will make you gag

Rating: 5/10 (6 March 2012)

Looking back, I find it hard to admit that I actually defended the last film "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", and gave it a halfway decent review here on IMDb. I don't know what possessed me to try and defend it. Looking back, it is a bad movie, but it was full of so much eye candy that I found it highly entertaining and I didn't really analyze its faults as I should have. So I'm going to be giving a more objective review of this, the third film.
Michael Bay delivers "Transformers: Dark of the Moon", perhaps the single most entertaining pieces of misogynistic, exploitative filth I've ever seen. It is an awful movie, I will admit that up front, and it's depiction of women as nothing more than objects is flat-out disgusting and shameful. (Does Bay not understand that women are people as well? Because he shoots every woman in this film like he was shooting a car commercial- sleek slow-motion shots that show off the curves while paying no attention to development. It actually made me queasy after a while.) But, it's also very pretty to look at, and its clear that Michael Bay doesn't give a hoot about the story, as long as he can deliver pretty pictures, and in that sense, this film works.
The plot is.. Um a plot? I guess that a long time ago, an auto-bot named "Sentinel Prime" (voiced by Leonard Nimoy) crash-landed on the moon, and there's some sort of Doomsday device that will cause the Transformers home world to materialize in the Earth's atmosphere, and Sentinel teams up with Megatron to make it happen, so Optimus must save the day. Blah, blah, blah. It's the same exact movie as the last two- some Doomsday weapon from the Transformers past shows up and Optimus must stop it. First it was the "Allspark" cube in the original film, then it was a Sun-Harvester Energy thingy in the second film, now it's a transportation device. What-ever.
Shia Labeouf is back again as Sam Whitwickey, the human hero of the film, although his purpose in the series is no longer clear. He isn't needed in this film, nor was he needed in the second film. He's just used to set up some crummy jokes. Megan Fox has been replaced by some model named Rosie Huntington (I think, I honestly can't remember her name) who can't act to save her life and is the object of fascination for Bay's disturbingly perverted camera work. She literally has no development, and her establishing shot (a tight close up on her rear end for about 30 seconds and she ascends a flight of stairs) makes it clear that Bay only wants to objectify her, so I really didn't care about who she was. John Turturro also returns and is quite funny, and new characters played by John Malkovich and Frances McDormond are also a lot of fun.
The effects are astonishing. The level of detail has again been vastly improved in the CG models, and the Transformers look more real than ever. The facial detail and expressions are so well-made that I often forgot I was watching effects. As far as I was concerned, they were real. So props to the effects department.
Also, I will comment that this is one of the few films to use 3D "properly." The 3D Bay uses here is not only the best 3D since "Avatar", it's also possibly the best 3D I've ever seen in a live-action film. Better than "Avatar"'s 3D. Everything is lush, and bright, and there is very little noticeable "blurriness" or "murky images" that plague other 3D films. The effects also don't give themselves away- there is almost no "ghosting", and nothing too crazy or gimmicky. Bay essentially shot the film as he would a 2D film, and that's what makes it work- the 3D adds an immense sense of depth, and doesn't rely on things flying out at you. It was technically a very impressive 3D film and is worth seeing in 3D if you have a 3D-tv.
Also, the action is a huge step up in scope. From an incredible opening space battle (that makes excellent use of 3D as ships soar past the camera), to a scene where our heroes have to flee a sky rise building while it is collapsing, every piece of action is astonishing. I'm torn with what to give this film. It is a terrible movie, with a weak, derivative plot and almost no character development, plus a nasty misogynistic side, but the visuals are worth seeing at least once. I give this an average 5 out of 10. Bad movie, great action. Buy the Blu-Ray (or 3D Blu-Ray if you have a 3D-tv) and watch the action, but skip over everything else.