Amazing Special Effects Ruined by Hectic Awfulness

Rating: Null/10 (16 October 2011)

For those who saw the previews and commercials, I'm guessing you were probably waiting for a mystery that would be cleverly be revealed during the middle of the show and make you think a little, instead, almost right from the start of the movie, the mystery behind the "dark side of the moon" and discovery of the ship is explained right away, and it really killed the excitement in me. To put it this way, I felt like, "That's what this is about? And you killed the mystery in one minute?" It was a very cliché movie on top of it, and Sam had developed into a cute-guy, hyper-stressed, young-adult with a cliché inferiority complex. When his parents came to meet him, it added to the painfulness of the movie, having to hear his mom's awful unfunny Hell-voiced little lectures and her usual sexual-innuendos, which I'm sure made a lot of kids and teens uncomfortable to watch, with or without their parents. They might has well have been tossing sex toys around and using full vulgarity, because the innuendos were so obvious. The movie was also fast and hectic, and a nonsensical slapstick weirdo ugly Asian co-worker was added to the hysteria (mostly unfunny hysteria). I really did not like the cliché mean, strict interviewer-bosses sam was meeting. From what was shown, you'd think all managers of companies were evil. The model-looking woman that replaced the original girlfriend was a really bad match up for Sam, she just didn't fit in the movie well. She looked like too much of a model and like a fish out of water. She looked and sounded like she belonged in Australia... hey wait a second, beautiful girl with Australian accent, why does that seem so familiar... And of course, there were the glorified government saviours of the citizenry, who mainly are the good guys. Of course there would never be anyone bad in the military, nope, all soldiers are good guys, and Leave it to Beaver was such an accurate show reflecting reality.
The movie was a tragedy in that there were incredible special effects seens, ones that were worthy of awards and for ground-breaking special effects setting a new bar to be surpassed, but it was mixed up with a few really funny parts, but also the incredible shallowness and narcissism of the main characters, mainly Sam, Optimus Lies and his cliché Australian moron transforming thugs (I don't even remember those two transforming!) and the Transformer Nimoy. There was also some grossness in the movie, with little mechanical repair-bugs moving around Megatrons' ugly uncool-looking body, which genuinely seemed like some nasty cockroaches, which unlike the ones in the Predators movie that ran around those weird aliens, WERE truly gross-looking. It was a very kid-appealing movie, and which unfortunately, has probably influenced many kids and adults into thinking that being a hyper, neurotic, insecure but self-centered impatient bipolar person is what to aim for in life if you want to be happy. To think that many millions of dollars went into that, and many more will be spent into spreading this cosmetically prettied up disease, is tormenting, to me at least.
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