Classic Michael Bay

Rating: 5/10 (29 June 2011)

If there is one thing Michael Bay is good at, it is the spectacle. If you're hungry for big explosions, robot-on-robot battle scenes, sprinkled in with shots of the lovely Carly played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley- you'll receive your fill and then some. The primary cast from the previous two films returns, with the exception of Mikaela, Megan Fox's role, who (all sex appeal aside) was easily replaced as by the aforementioned Ms. Huntington-Whiteley. New additions to the cast include Frances McDormand, who was overly qualified for her one-note part as the Secretary of Defense. John Malkovich is excellent in his limited role as Shia LaBeouf's new boss, Bruce Brazos. (I have a sneaking suspicion that the part was written for him specifically) Patrick Dempsey does well as Dylan Gould, Carly's rich and handsome boss and for Shia LaBeouf, competition for her affection. Special acknowledgment goes to Alan Tudyk as Dutch, Simmons' (John Turturro) special assistant, who nails every scene he gets. The primary Autobots and Decepticons return, with some new looks and some new additions here and there to each side.
Critics will pan this movie for this reason. All special effects aside, the plot is only an excuse for the action that occurs. The characters (new or old) are not very compelling and I felt more emotionally for the 'bots more than anyone else. I didn't seem to care about the human casualties because most of them are pretty damn useless. But listen critics, this is strictly clap your hands and smile stuff, this is the equivalent of Michael Bay jingling car keys in front of us and (just admit it) we love it. It puzzles me why Frances McDormand got into this, she's been part of so many gourmet movies, why would she be part of this greasy cheeseburger of a movie? I think it's because she's the same us- we love junk food every now and then. So when you see this flick, sit back and relax, and enjoy it for what it is. Oh, and bring extra napkins- at 2 hours and 37 minutes running time- this is a big helping.