Definitely Landed on the Dark Side

Rating: 6/10 (29 June 2011)

Transformers Dark of the Moon, a promising title followed with equally promising buzz over the last several months that swelled with intense anticipation. I can't review this movie from a die hard fan p.o.v. because in all honesty, though I loved the original animated series and the classic movie, my history is a bit rusty and my ass would be blended into a tasty boba treat for some spectacle wearing fan boy with a hard on for Optimus Prime. So, in all fairness I will simply review this as someone who loved the previous movies. And yes, I even loved Revenge of the FallenÂ… If you've stopped reading at this point because of lack of credibility I understand, if not then let me continue. There were several things I appreciated about the movie, the first being the visual effects as always were impeccable. The orgy worthy robot on robot fighting was amazing and exciting. Honestly, I almost wish Bay would do a prequel following along the lines of the fall of Cybertron.You know, just ignore the human aspect of it all together since we have a habit of being awfully messy with emotions and intentions gone awry(cough cough every suit wearing pencil pushing government agent Bay puts into his films cough cough). The stunts were nothing to sneeze about either. Something about soldiers leaping out of burning planes with wing suits under wave after wave of assault by the pursuing Decepticons just makes you tingle inside. Or that might be this morning's coffee? Either way, there are moments of jaw dropping stunts mixed with visual effects that make you sit on the edge of your seat. I was also impressed with the plot that starts to take shape early on in the movie but sadly it drifts off lazily in the background halfway through like my Grandpa during our family gatherings for Christmas. It also gets a little far fetched at one significant point where even I, someone with little knowledge on physics and global dynamics, had to shake my head and ask out loud "What?! We're just gonna pretend that that wouldn't have any repercussions?!" I can't divulge too much because then I would be spoiling the surprise but once you see it, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. What makes me especially upset about this is that (and yes, here comes my redemption for the earlier comment)with Revenge of the Fallen the plot was filled with so many holes it looked like the Swiss cheese I put on my breakfast bagels. However, at least in the second one they made an attempt to fill in as many of those craters as they could with one of (or both at times) Megan Fox's ass cheeks in daisy dukes or the never tiring air acrobatics of Shia Lebeouf. Yes, throw your Bumble bee collector cups from Burger King at me and boo at the statement I am about to make: I felt the second one at least delivered more closely to the first both in satisfaction and entertainment than Dark of the Moon. I liked it better, so there. I feel this movie could have been great had Michael Bay simply followed the story line and tried to keep his Bayisms at a minimum. Much like the random moments of humping dogs and pants less people in the second there are times during the third that seem rather arbitrary and eye rolling-ly awful. Not to mention even though Fox has a backlash against her that would make Vanilla Ice blush, her character, Mikeala, seemed to fit the mold of female lead better than Rosie Huntington-I don't care I lost interest in the remainder of her last name. Fox's interaction with Shia also felt more realistic; yes, maybe it was because they were actually getting it on behind the scenes but that's not the point, point is both his character, Sam and the new girl, Carly, have a forced physical attraction that doesn't seem as convincing. The same go for other character interactions that don't seem as genuine as they did in previous movies which unfortunately becomes a little emotionally detaching from the story. All in all, if you are still awake, I would say the movie is worth checking out but I don't feel it lived up to the hype or delivered as well as the others.