Shia LaBeouf Killed Starscream? I call shenanigans!

Rating: 5/10 (4 July 2011)

Let me start by saying the release of this movie literally crept up on me. Despite its flaws, I was actually left anxious enough to wait the sequel in 2009. However, I was disappointed to the extent I was hardly looking forward to this one. My low expectations were met, and once more what could have been more simply wasn't. Let's just walk through this one.
First off, the characters sucked ore than ever. Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson do nothing but bark orders every five seconds and yell "What the hell is going on?" multiple times. Shia LaBeouf's acting barely qualifies as acting at all as he resorts to mostly his "Even Steven" twitching antics with dialogue so predictable I hated every minute of his screen time. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley isn't much of an improvement acting wise, after all the movie opens up with a shot of her cute little butt in her undies and just like Ms. Fox only serves as eye candy. Her acting was never high on my list because she's a model, not an actress! And we've all seen enough of the Wittwicky parents damn it, its overkill. John Turturro is back to make a fool out of himself as usual and nothing shocking really happens to the human characters. We're shown the same old cliché over-the-top comedy skits over-laden with teen angst crap I can't bring myself to laugh anymore.
Now to the guys I really came to see the movie for It's a mixed bag here, one I can't go into without revealing a few spoilers. It's all 85% epic bullsh*t. The majority of the villains aside Sentinel had hardly any screen time what so ever. Starscream suffers a humiliating death at the hands of Witiwicky, which made me want to go home right on the spot. Ironhide dies, which was sad, but not a single moment did the movie to mourn him. In fact, not a single line of dialogue implies that anybody misses him. More new autobots, voiced by talent s such as Francesco Quinn and John DiMaggio, but the camera never remain son them for more than a few seconds. The tiny robots, which thankfully aren't as perverted and annoying as last time, get more screen time. Shockwave was amazing but barely in the movie. Laserbeak was pretty bad-ass himself. Sadly, Megatron literally does nothing the whole movie, till at the last minute is actually mocked by the wannabe actress. Who for some reason he doesn't kill her and then kills by a wounded Optimus in less than seven seconds. What a miraculous send-off.
The score borrows heavily from "The Dark knight", abuses an Aerosmith song, and over uses the song Iridescent by Linkin Park. In short it sucked. The action is all death-defying stunts and awesome CGI, no doubt entertaining but after two whole movies and this one's strenuous runtime, it just gets old. I'm afraid Michael bay has out done himself with the number of slow-motion shots, explosions and agonizing amount of detail on those CGI monstrosities., and he's rolling in the money for it. With this movie he's not just raping my childhood, he's raping cinema in general.