Spectacular Bay-hem....

Rating: 8/10 (30 June 2011)

'Transformers: Dark of the Moon' showcases the best and worst of director Michael Bay. As incoherent as the plot may be, the metal-mania on the other end, is a spectacle of cataclysmic proportions. Acting in this film must be more difficult for the actors themselves, rather than for the audience to see them but it isn't about them. It never really was. When Michael Bay brought the alien robot race to Planet Earth, it was made very clear that it's always going to be about them. Thus, you will be made to watch this T:3 through the eyes of the Decepticons to whom, humans don't matter. So shall be your approach while watching the absolute Bay-hem that dominates the movie's tedious 157 minute length. Only then, will you have a blast....
Following the likes of George Lucas and Wachowski Brothers, Bay ventures forth with his indulgent film-making with some of the best artists around who aid the rendering of his metallic vision with gargantuan destruction being the enthralling lure for devotees, much to the shame of critics who shunned them on every new venture but couldn't stop their movie installments from making billions. These films are beyond critics. The sheer scale of their production and presentation warrants a mandatory viewing regardless of their critique for one doesn't chase their substance but their astounding visual effects that make it all larger- than-life.
Apollo 11, USA's maiden voyage to set a man on the moon, has been a cover-up to the discovery of an Autobot ship's wreckage that escaped the last battle on Cybertron. For over 40 years, humans and Autobots alike, have been kept in the dark about the dark side of the moon. Optimus Prime uncovers the conspiracy on a mission in Chernobyl where he discovers familiar parts to be used for teleportation by Autobots. After convincing the bossy head of the secret Government agency, Optimus flies to the moon to bring home Sentinel Prime, deactivated in the ship's wreckage. With the matrix, he brings Sentinel to life and along with him the apocalypse that had been planned all this while, by the Decepticons. A jobless Sam (Shia LaBeouf), in desperate search for credit, is suspicious of his new girlfriend's boss but takes up his offer to work. He inevitably becomes a part of the new battle against the Decepticons, much to the dislike of his girl (Rosey Huntington-Whiteley) and his annoying parents. While the pillars are assembled all over, hundreds of decepticons are summoned to Chicago as they prepare to teleport Cybertron into Earth's atmosphere. Thus begins the hour long devastation of Chicago in 3D as Decepticons lay a siege on a much destroyed city, while military operatives dive down from airplanes in bat-wing-suits while our world's leaders decide to send the Autobots off into far away space. But this was never about humans standing a chance by themselves.....
Devoid of any richness, emotion or rationale is the tale of humans here. Sam's relationship with Carly lacks chemistry and with her fashionably plastic persona, the rawness of Megan Fox will be deeply missed. John Turturro's Simmons is now a haughty, attention- seeking non-contributor whose presence is questionable. The same goes with Gibson and Duhamel, whose military persons don't carry any weight in such out-of-control situations. John Malkovich and Frances McDormand are wasted in inexplicably empty roles. Those who draw our attention away from the void of these soulless characters are Sentinel Prime, Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron and the numerous talkative Autobots who are richer both in character, dialog and screen presence. Indeed, such is their transformation that one can analyze them as though they were humans. That is of course, until Michael Bay puts them in Chicago.
Bay is at his cinematic best in the carnage that spans highways, high rise buildings, city streets and skies. He renders 3D in its best form since 'Avataar' to dazzle the viewer with robots, guns and humans flying through the screen. The special effects surpass all prior attempts at depicting metallic annihilation of a city and while there is a resemblance to some of Spielberg's 'War of the Worlds', its intensity is pure and unique. As Shockwave goes through the epic deconstruct of a building, Optimus Prime slices through Decepticons, Bumblebee repeatedly transforms from and into a sexy Camaro, we witness the prowess of Bay-hem and the might of one man's vision to enthrall an audience.
'Revenge of the Fallen' was criticized for its plot and character development but it looks richer in those aspects when compared with Dark of the moon where the plot's sheer incoherence is louder than the clang of metal. Why do the characters exist and why do they do what they do? Sam's relationships are irrelevant and so are his job interviews when total devastation is upon Earth. It takes over 50 minutes for the film to grind its gears but then, it does follow up with summer's most explosive action. Bay succeeds in making 3D look worthwhile and his robots cooler than before but we could've only hoped for a shorter length that focused more on them rather than the excessive human role. There might not be a sequel to follow because Megatron, Starscream and much of the Decepticons are destroyed to the core by Optimus and his Autobots. Thrice the aliens have tried to invade and have failed. Another attempt would seem ridiculous for Paramount to even finance.
In the end, this isn't a movie outing you base on reviews. Ratings don't matter in this case. What matters is that you are among the first week viewers who contribute to a stellar opening as always for this franchise. While Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots pledges his presence forever on Planet Earth, to save and protect, you were there....in the theater... to witness it all.

8.069 on a scale of 1-10.