terrible, stupid, ridiculous

Rating: 2/10 (29 June 2011)

i checked IMDb today after i came home from the cinema, and saw that the movie has almost 7 points... i just had to register to write this review.
It was absolutely terrible. In advance, i'd like to apologize for using the world "ridiculous" too many times, but that's the best one to describe this masterpiece. of course one would expect that a story about 30 m high robots is a little bit ridiculous, but it was really over the top. After things started going, there wasn't a single minute in the film where something utterly ridiculous did not happen. So many examples... I'll list some of them and some of my problems

the chick checks the 2 evil robots with the spyglass, sees that they have an argument. later on, she decides to turn megatron against the bearded guy (the super villain high tech robot megatron), and she persuades him. yeah, that's right. that's some neat intrigue you might expect from hose luis Fernando from a Brazilian soap opera, you get it here with a super robot in a 100 million dollar budget film with Steven Spielberg's name.

they don't stop telling each other secrets of the government. no question, no reason, it's needed because the story can't progress, so why not tell something that's been a state secret for 30 years, or even yell it in front of 30 people. every time this happens, you just ask loudly in your chair: WHY THE HELL DID HE TELL THAT? but there's never an answer

no one thinks forward in the movie, not even the decepticons. the bug just came off the main guy's wrist after the decepticons thought the auto bots left.why the hell did it come off and just left the guy that has been a major pain in the ass for the decepticons in the past decade? why didn't it stay on him or kill him? humans don't kill each other, even if it would be in their best interest. no, they let the hostage live and tell secrets so he can escape and ruin their plans. the robots somehow avoid killing humans until the last part of the movie

the movie has some weird comical parts, some of them childish, and they don't kill any humans in the first half of the movie. but then there is a gay joke and at the end the human killing strangely begins, decepticons shoot people to ash and their skull rolls on the ground after they evaporated. so please mr bay, decide if you want a movie for the audience of spy kids,and don't show sexual/violent stuff, or make a scifi for adults, and don't make it retarded.

they replaced Megan fox with this blonde chick, a significant portion of the movie was centered around her ass or boobs. this was actually a semi-valid reason to look at this terrible piece of a movie, but is this really justified in a sci-fi?. and btw she's 10 cm higher than the protagonist and she can't act.

they keep fighting with idiotic weapons, optimus even has a flame ax or what the heck now. really. super high tech robots equipped with huge ass cannons fight like tom cruise in the last samurai with close combat weapons. optimus prime even had some kind of fight position at the start of one fight, like a martial artist, which looked really stupid.

they couldn't think of a decent new villain, so they just repeated the one in the last episode. an ancient robot on top of a big building doing some kind of intergalactic mambo jumbo for half an hour. pretty lame, also what's up with robots having beard mustache hair out of metal, it isn't bad ass it's idiotic

starscream has the ability to shoot a missile that utterly destroys a gigantic space ship full of auto bots. meanwhile throughout the movie the high tech super intelligent robots keep fighting with knives and swords. no comment

the trend continues, new robots appear that resemble some ridiculous characters. we have a fat robot now, old ones with beard and male pattern baldness, troll doll robot, an eagle robot (that flies with metallic wings, not engines), megatron gets a hood and looks like some dark wanderer now, and my favorite, his lackey, the HUNCHBACK robot. yeah, that's right. megatron has the robot version of the hunchback of Notre dame. that sole character, that they attempted to take it seriously made the whole thing retarded, even without the countless other stupid characters and scenes of the movie that would only satisfy a mentally handicapped teenager

laws of physics work differently in the movie. collapsing buildings/robots avoid humans, a metallic building structure hangs in the air in a ridiculous position, the scientist robot sucks a whole metal PLANET through a portal right next to earth and nothing happens (and btw first the summoning is interrupted and there is a planet cut in half near earth, with a plainly cut surface at the intersection, and then the summoning is restored and it CONTINUES to come out of the portal.). somebody before this planet-portal scene mentions that they wanna make the humans slaves to rebuild the planet.later, robots are slaying humans left and right, killing everyone. that's clever, killing your slaves

full of idiotic clichés like the grand American speech of the commander to talk soldiers into impossible mission, "we only need one shot", etc, really anyone finds these cheap and bad

the protagonist's parents are so annoying, they make you wanna kill the writer of the script slowly and painfully

-etc etc
could go on for about 3 pages... really, don't watch this movie if you want yourself good. visuals make it a worthy 2/10