I guess I'll be watching the next one on my own as well.

Rating: 1/10 (10 August 2016)

As the battle rages on Cybertron between the Autobots and the Decepticons, an Autobot craft carrying a secret cargo is launched into space, eventually crashing on the dark side of the moon. Years later, the Decepticons put into motion a plan to secure the contents of the craft— artefacts that would help them finally win their war, if only it wasn't for the intervention of plucky teen Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), his 'clearly out of his league' girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), and their metal pals.
I watched the first two Transformers films in the company of my son, but I'm watching this one alone: I simply cannot subject my poor boy to any more of this mindless drivel. Admittedly, I thought it would be impossible for Michael Bay to make a more terrible film than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but here it is 154 minutes of noisy, CGI-filled crap that easily ranks amongst the very worst movies I have ever seen.
A man for whom more is never enough, Bay smothers his ridiculously OTT action with expensive CGI special effects, overloading the senses, yet never managing to generate any feeling of excitement or tension. Frequent ill-judged comedy only goes to make the whole thing an even more painful experience, one that not even Huntington-Whiteley's hot bod can prevent me from awarding the lowest possible rating.