Dear Mr Bay - Transformers 3

Rating: 1/10 (8 July 2011)

Dear Mr Bay After recently viewing your latest movie I couldn't help but feel you need a few tips on: a) General movie making and plot writing b) Making a Transformers movie Although I know nothing of these I feel I could still do a much, much better job than you did with your latest movie. So here goes.
To begin with, when writing a plot it is often a very good idea to stick with a few simple ideas, unless you're making Inception but please don't try this, as I'm already cringing at thought. As you have probably found, or will soon find, people don't like it when you try to add little pieces together to make one big whole, this just doesn't work out to be a good story, or a very well thought out story. Hence the gaping plot holes in your latest story. For example, if the Decepticons had been removing pillars from the Dark Side of the Moon years and years ago what was the point of the first two movies? With a movie it is also a good idea to not try build suspense at every turn, have massive pivotal moments that last 5 seconds and insignificant pointless moments that last 15 minutes. And just because you found a girl that you thought could replace Megan Fox doesn't mean that she needs to have long freeze frame shots, heroic moments or even to be in the movie. And not every character has to be a hero. Optimus Prime definitely, Bumble Bee understandable, Sam Witwicky...maybe in a human kind of way. But not every character with a small speaking part needs to be a hero and change the course of history, if that was the case then everyone would just be normal and there wouldn't ever be heroes right? Also when casting characters don't pick every minor comedic actor that auditions, because similar to the piecemeal nature of your story line, lots of minor comedic actors don't make for a funny movie. And when I went to see the Transformers 3 movie I didn't say "Hey, that'll be hilarious" I said "Awesome, I can't wait for epic fight scenes and intense visual and audial effects that make me excited for days after" Which leads me to my next 2 major problems.
I understand that you just make movies but you'd think that you'd understand the two things that made the first Transformers and saved the second. Epic Autobot/Decepticon fight scenes and amazing transforming sounds. Both of which your movie lacked or pretty much ignored. The only reasons I said I'd return to a Transformers movie after the failure of the second one but for some reason you thought it's be fine without these things and that you could fill the movie with ridiculous amounts of human characters, explosions, and epic moments.
And to top it all off you make 2 little pet transformers, that annoyed the audience throughout the movie, have one of the most pivotal moments in the victory of the Autobots! And then the new Transformers girl, who should stick to modeling by the way, convinces Megatron, the absolute evil and most powerful Decepticon, to kill Sentinel Prime! Why the heck wouldn't he just squash her? This would probably have saved the movie in my opinion but sadly we can add this to the long line of missed opportunities in your movie.
But the worse thing that you could have possibly done...is killed off Ironhide in the way that he was killed. You're talking about the weapons and combat expert of the Autobots, the heavy unit, second only to Optimus and you kill him off like he was one of your several other dispensable characters. How do you sleep at night? I just find it hard to believe that after the last Transformers movie you actually managed to make a worse movie. I mean here was your chance at redemption, something simple, maximum transformer fighting, maximum transforming sounds! It looks so good in my head! But then I think about what you did...and it all crumbles and my heart dies just a little more.
So my advice to you is maybe you should really try and understand what the Transformers is all about, it doesn't have to be complicated, you don't have to have 5000 transformers, or characters for that matter. Keep it simple stupid. Fewer characters, fewer epic moments, more transforming, more transformer fighting, Optimus blitzing it out with any Decepticons who cross his path, awesome Bumble Bee/Iron Hide combo kills, Sam calls his girlfriend to say whats up but nothing more from her because she can't act very well, Ironhide dies a noble death if needs be (although questionable), no comedy, and just one epic world saving moment not 50.
And my advice for anyone going to see the movie...don't.
Make up your own ideal Transformers 3 story line and watch Transformers 1 again.
I wish I had.
So thank you Mr Bay, for ruining something I held so dear.
Yours totally and utterly sincerely Jamie Stronge.