The Dark is Where This Should Have Been Kept

Rating: Null/10 (14 July 2011)

I don't even know where to begin...I'm still speechless. I didn't think things could get worse after Revenge of the Fallen. Dear God was I mistaken. Horribly, horribly mistaken.
This is more a game of questions if you ask me. Questions such as: 1)Who was it who ever sat down and said "you know what, I think Michael Bay would be great to direct a Transformers trilogy!"? 2)Who exactly green lighted this 'script' (and believe me I use the term VERY loosely)? 3)What sort of barnyard animal is in charge that would ever, EVER consider that this movie was 'ok' to release to the public? 4)Who was the cretin that went to the studio bosses and told them "we need a star for the new Transformers trilogy! Get me the kid from Even Stevens!"? 5)In what universe is Rose-Huntington whatever considered hot? These are but a few enigmas that plagued me throughout this...thing.
I'll refrain from beating around the bush. The acting is horrifying. The story is non-existent, and whomever thought it would pass as being acceptable needs to be horsewhipped. The dialogue is atrocious. In all, one word can sum up this movie-laughable. This wasn't a movie, it was a nearly 3 hour joke that tried to be serious. I am embarrassed for anyone who worked on this project. I would be absolutely ashamed to have my name linked to something like this.
Positives? The CGI was impressive, which is what earned this film 3/10 instead of the zero it so rightly deserved.
A few other major problems this film had:
Forgive my ignorance, but wasn't this supposed to be a franchise about robots in disguise? Then why is the movie 30% about robots and 70% about humans beings who a)I don't have any emotional connection to b)I couldn't care less about because they're preventing me from viewing the robots I paid to see and c)I honestly wished would die in every scene they appeared?
Fast moving camera shots and large explosions tend to hinder people in their efforts to view what's going on in a movie. Especially during the fight scenes.
In said fight scenes, its also hard to know who's who when the heroes and villains look almost exactly the same. That's kinda why you make people and things look different, so, you know, we can identify them...
The title. "In the Dark of the Moon" makes sense. "Lunar Shadow" makes sense. "Dark of the Moon" makes no sense. Even the title is bad.
Even now, hours after viewing it, I'm still completely appalled by this movie. This isn't a bad movie by Transformers standards, its a bad movie by any standards.