It's a Mess

Rating: 4/10 (29 June 2011)

I'm a light fan of the first two films (average/above-average sci-fi/action), so it should be easy to understand that I was anticipating this film. While I'll definitely admit the problems with both Transformers and Revenge of the Fallen, those issues didn't interfere with the entertainment and fun I got out of them. All I really wanted out of Dark of the Moon was good action and possibly some humorous scenes that would make it an enjoyable time in theaters. What I received, however, was an overbearing, convoluted mess that left me perplexed (not in a good way).
It's tough to provide a decent plot synopsis since so much occurs back-and-forth throughout the film; especially during the first two acts. We're essentially introduced with a montage-esque twist on the first Moon landing, before switching to the film's present day with Sam and his (new) girlfriend trying to get him a job. Meanwhile, the Autobots appear to be continuing their jobs originally seen in Revenge of the Fallen (finding Decepticons and taking care of other world issues--illegal nuclear plants--along the way). This leads to the first of Dark of the Moon's problems: the plot (and script) is all over the place. This is especially so in the second act where shifts and twists come by as fast as the explosions and crunches emphasized later in the film (we'll get to those).
Some of the more criticized scenes from the previous two films were those used for laughter. While it's true most of these fell flat in the second, they usually worked in the first. And while I'll say we get a couple more successful attempts at this in Dark of the Moon, too many are hackneyed and, at one too many points, misused. A key example of this comes from a character who acts extremely over-the-top (makes the brownie scene in Revenge look depressingly-toned) and doesn't get an ideal exit. Right when this happens, other characters make ignorant jokes that would have been funny and appropriate had he simply been knocked out, rather than meeting a serious end. 90% of the other frequent jabs of humor don't fare much better.
This leads to one of the biggest issues with the film: haphazard tone shifts. Once again, the second act is where this prevails. We get a lot of scenes that are intended as funny, but are scattered amidst more serious moments. The problem is that these are juggled around so quickly that it becomes tough to stay in a certain emotion, which only took me more and more out of the film. Comic relief shouldn't be used like a crutch and tossed about more serious points. Unfortunately, Dark of the Moon makes this mistake so many times until the final 40-60 minutes, that words like conflicted and bipolar become understatements.
Of course, what everyone truly wants out of a film like this is good action and effects, something Bay has always been known for and often delivers. And it's true, Dark of the Moon has some incredible visual spectacle. The action scenes are nicely shot, for the most part, and the final act is almost nonstop in the display we're given. When the real action sequence(s) kick in, they definitely leave you glued to your seat and the best part: they're not too short-lived like its predecessors (especially Revenge).
However, even for the excellent technology put up, I couldn't even feel (happily) enthusiastic about it. As I said, the last act has A LOT of effects and stunt work at, well, work. But there's not much action otherwise in the rest of the film; save for a little chase-to-battle scene about halfway through and a couple brief points sprinkled elsewhere. The reason I couldn't fully enjoy the action found in the last act, however, is that it all comes too late and is overbearing. It takes about an hour and a half to get to this point, which is about how long most action films can retain the enjoyment of their stay. And though the previous two films were long as well, they flowed well enough to where the ongoings didn't feel like too much for the film to handle. Here, the film feels like it was two in one.
As I said above, the plot goes all over the place which, combined with a literal (and to quote one of the characters) "cluster****" of comedic/serious scenes, makes the incredible action in the final act feel more strenuous than entertaining. Even though I'm a fan of longer films (Pirates of the Caribbean 3 being a personal favorite), Dark of the Moon really takes its toll when the second act begins to give way to the third. And since the ending is way too anticlimactic to feel like a proper resolution has been provided (we're given, at best, a minute of talking after the action stops, before the credits begin), it becomes that much easier to feel like your eyes, ears and mind have been fried. But this wasn't from the epic nature the film strives for near the end, so much as it was from how misused everything felt.
Dark of the Moon is a film I truly wanted to enjoy; it was what I wanted to be the ultimate summer action film of the year. The first two kept me entertained and interested, the trailers for this looked promising too, so I was expecting to have fun. Yet what I experienced was a huge, incoherent mess with next to nothing that helps it feel legitimately distinguished. My brain tried to shut down, but there are simply too many problems present; and they tragically outweigh what little redeeming qualities exist here. I'm glad others enjoyed it (my friend and the theater we were in gave it a huge applause), but for me, this will likely go down as the disappointment of the year.