Too Old For This Crap!

Rating: 3/10 (28 June 2011)

OK, I am not in the demographic for this movie. I'm 61. The night started off poorly with my finding out I had only requested one pass, not two as usual. I at first felt bad that my wife had no ticket. She encouraged me to go ahead and see the movie.She got off easy.
The movie, in 3-D, started off with a close up of Rose Huntington- Whiteley's butt. Now, Rose is not an actress, but she is a Victoria's Secret model, so she has a cute butt. And the movie is PG 13 so you won't see too much of Rose, just enough to keep males interested. And this movie is geared to 12 year old males. Stupid 12 year old males. The directing was muddled, the cast of many good actors(Frances McDormand, John Turturo, and John Malkovich, etc.) was wasted. There are more holes in the plot than there are in a large Amish baby Swiss cheese. When the main story is already a comic book, then the roles should be played straight, not as a camp farce like Batman on TV. And speaking of the story, I know you have to have good and evil, very black and white for kids-but is it too much to ask to have a story that does not rely on every cliché ever written or spoken. "We only have one chance at this shot." "We only need one." Seriously? The parents are played as a joke. A bad joke. Why do the Decepticons spit when they scream loudly at the hero? A reddish fluid comes out of their mouths as they yell at whoever is in their grasp. The movie does move fairly quickly but lasts too long at 154 minutes. Things do blow up spectacularly and Chicago gets trashed thoroughly. So if you are looking for 2 12 hours of air conditioning with popcorn, or you're a not too bright 12 year old who has not seen too many movies, this film is for you. For the rest of you who want to see a good action adventure SF film, go see "Super 8". Even with a weak ending it is a much better movie.