Are we Decepticons?

Rating: 9/10 (1 July 2011)

Michael Bay described his last transformers film aptly. He referred to it as 'crap'. So why did I pay to go and see this sequel? I don't really know. What I can scarcely believe though, (and in fact virtually not at all) is that Transformers: Dark of the Moon is, for an awfully complicated reason, quite possibly one of the finest films ever made. No, I'm serious! Please, bare with me (and my spoilers) as I explain why...
We start with two alien races: the Decepticons and Autobots. They are at war with one another. Due to things that have happened in the past, the Decepticons are far more numerous and powerful than the Autobots.
A small band of Autobots make their home on Earth alongside humans. Due to the war and the deterioration of their home world, Cybertron, the mighty Decepticons travel to Earth in force so that they may use its natural resources (in particular its native population) to help restore it. Doing this, however, requires physically bringing Cybertron to Earth. Bringing Cybertron to Earth requires some technological magic, beyond the abilities of the Decepticons, but not beyond those of certain powerful Autobots. So the Decepticons essentially do a deal with one of the Autobots, namely Sentinel Prime. In exchange for promised power, Sentinel Prime agrees to help the Decepticons bring their home world to Earth. In addition, the Decepticons buy over various influential and powerful humans, in particular Patrick Dempsey's character, to help in the fight against the Autobots and their followers. Needless to say, the Autobots and their followers resist all this because it is not what they believe in. This struggle leads to widespread destruction on Earth and the ultimate ruin of Cybertron. The deal between Sentinel Prime and the leader of the Decepticons breaks down, and to two end up in conflict with one another. Eventually, due to the resolve of the Autobots and their followers, the Decepticons are defeated, they leave Earth, and their leader is killed.
Now, I honestly don't think I'm trying to find something that isn't there, when I say that the plot of this film is all about is exploring the War in Afghanistan from the point of view of the Afghans. Yes, you read that right. Unless this has already dawned on you, please read on as I illustrate why the film appears to be a huge and remarkably complex analogy. Consider the basics of the Afghan conflict (and compare to the above plot summary!):
We start with America and the Terrorists. They are, because of 9/11, at war with one another. Due to things that have happened in the past, the Americans are far more numerous and powerful than the Terrorists.
A small band of Terrorists make their home in Afghanistan alongside local Afghans. Due to the war and the deterioration of the success of their democracy, the mighty Americans travel to Afghanistan in force so that they may use its natural resources (in particular its native population) to help restore its sense of identity (by successfully bringing democracy to Afghanistan, America might hope to restore its faith in it). Doing this, however, requires physically bringing democracy and western ideals to Afghanistan, beyond the ability of the Americans, but not beyond those of certain powerful Afghans. So the Americans essentially do a deal with one of the powerful Afghans, namely Hamid Karzai. In exchange for promised power, Karzai agrees to help the Americans bring their democracy to Afghanistan. In addition, the Americans buy over various influential and powerful Afghans, in particular the Northern Alliance, to help in the fight against the terrorists and their followers. Needless to say, the Terrorists and their followers resist all this because it is not what they believe in. This struggle leads to widespread destruction in Afghanistan and the ultimate ruin of democracy and the American Dream (maybe not quite). The deal between Hamid Karzai and the American government breaks down, and the two engage in a complex power struggle. Eventually, due to the resolve of the terrorists and their followers, the Americans are defeated, they leave Afghanistan (this is definitely due to happen), and their American government suffers a major political defeat (not quite 'killed').
The parallels are perfect and clear! Key elements in the film correspond to key elements in the Afghan conflict: Earth represents Afghanistan. The people of Earth play the 'Civilian Afghan Population'. The Decepticon home world, Cybertron, represents America, or, more abstractly, American ideals, democracy and the American Dream. The Decepticons represent 'The American Military' (Well 'NATO' really, but never mind) while Megatron represents 'The American Government'. The Autobots represent 'The Terrorists'. Optimus Prime plays 'The Terrorist Leader' (the leader of Al Qaeda or the Taliban, say). Shia LaBeouf and his friends represent 'Those local Afghans persuaded by the terrorists to fight and die for the terrorists cause'. Sentinel Prime plays Hamid Karzai, or, more generally, 'The leader of those Afghans who actively collaborate with the Americans for supposedly idealogical reasons' (as opposed to just for cash). Patrick Dempsey's character, on the other hand, a powerful industrialist, represents 'The Afghan warlords and mercenaries who do actively collaborate with the Americans simply for cash'.
Not only do the key elements of the film correspond to key elements of the conflict, but in fact the key elements of the film correspond to all of the key elements of the conflict. Unfortunately there's not enough space here to go in to more detail (for example consider the role of women, and compare 9/11 conspiracy to the collapsing tower scene).
It is possible that nothing I've suggested was ever considered by the film makers. Obviously I don't know for certain. All I know is that I've been typing for too long now, so I'll stop.
Except to say one thing. The original reason why I went to see this film is not really unknown to me.
It's called Rosie Huntington-Whitely...