*MY TAKE* on TF:Dark of the Moon

Rating: 5/10 (23 July 2011)

After watching "Dark of The Moon" yesterday, I felt compelled to write a meaty review for the first time since registering myself with IMDb back in 2006. I've had a few reviews scattered about, all which have met the 10 lines that were required, however this will have more substance  and rightly so ..
Where can I start?
The GOOD:  The action and special effects are incredible. Top drawer and hats off to the FX department for bringing the transformers and scenery destruction to life!  Rose Huntingdon-Whitely is very hot .. her lips make me drool .. yummy. Would definitely "hang out the back of that any day of the week". ©Richard Keys  I'll mention the special effects again to beef up the positives!  Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime and Leonard Nimoy as Sentinal Prime are exceptional as the voices of the Primes  Shia Lebouf brings out his acting talents, and although wacky in some places and somewhat Over The Top in others, does bring out his emotions well.  Nice use of modern day vehicles  Strugglingto find more positives to be honest
THE BAD:  The movie is full of plot holes and unanswered questions thought out the movie. Not to mention the lack of a relationship between the other movies. Transformers disappear (Arcee, Barricade, skids and mudflap etc), new Transformers appear (Que, Brains, Shockwave, Laserbeak, Wreckers) and there is no explanation as to where they come from or where they went?  Why oh why does Bay have the same old tired tested clichés in his movies. Bad acting, explosions, lack of story, sexy female lead showing plenty of ass and cleavage but very little acting skills and more!  RIDICULOUS events take place .. Starscream and his downfall by first, a grappling hook to the eye? Shockwave taken out by a bunch of humans after .. wait for it, having his vision blocked by a parachute dropping from the sky! Shockwave being one of the biggest, strongest and deadliest decepticons in the series? Its the same as the first film where a bunch of humans can take Blackout .. OUT .. it just would never happen in the TF universe!  Megatron listening to a female and not killing her instead? Maybe if he'd have killed her AFTER she'd have given her speech then that would have brought back a little bit of reality .. but why would a Decepticon, who has so much disdain and little regard for humans, during the series, let the fit bird live? It just doesn't make sense?  In fact Megatron and Shockwave are absolute aberrations as Transformers in dark of the moon .. utter waste of time, metal and oil  What was the point of the cube and the pyramid contraption in the other films if the main point of the trilogy was about a space bridge?! WHY? WTF!?!?! POINT?!!!  And speaking of oil .. why do the robots now leak RED OIL? As to make out they are bleeding??!! They look much better oozing black oil, black fluids, thick heavy black fluid, not diluted watered down red diesel ribena crap?! ffs, Bay what were you thinking?!  What is the point of Sam's parents? Pointless – comedy value but they aren't even funny. The mother is particularly annoying and I ask you now, who has a mother that acts like that?  Patrick Dempsey – criminally underused - turns out to be a pointless character in the end and the same goes for ..  John Malkovich – WTF  Alan Tudyk (Pirate Steve from Dodgeball lol) again, has a minor role but could have been given much more material. In the bar when he disarms the female holding the shotgun, he mentions about his past. That is something I was interested to know about!  Frances McDormand – whether she thought this was a role she can ham up a little bit, I dunno , but it wasn't great watching her strut about as a spoilt older child sort of person  Product Placement – Ridonkulous!  I didn't know that Transformers made themselves .. FAT .. what was the Scottish one all about? And where did the wreckers come from?! Jeez, sort out some background for them please!  The story about the space transporting bridge (similar to the animated series) is bizarre ..
Dark of the Moon was very much a movie about the Autobots this time round .. the Decepticons take a backseat to the humans (yet again) and the heroic Autobots I'll have to stop writing this review as the more I think about the film, the more I become p*ssed off at Michael Bay for butchering the franchise and churning out some commercialised product that tries appealing to all but in the end confuses a lot of us and ultimately spoils the Transformer name as a movie product. I can't even contemplate what to think with regards Dempseys character arranging the budget to stop the USA from scouting the moon again, from the increasing number of plot holes that I keep discovering the more I think things over, the fact that some roles in the film are utterly pointless and are only in the film to remind us that yes, Sam does have parents, yes he did date Megan Fox, who has done a runner and gone into hiding, etc .. etc .. ETC .. ETC!!!!!Sure the action is amazing in this film, but like a lot of Bays films (action, romance, more action, more romance ZZZzzzzz) the same old tired formula springs up and thus we are left scratching our heads with a bag ful of unanswered questions and a giant tinge of disappointment.
Dark of the Moon 5/10
Transformers under Michael Bay – 3 or 4/10