Great Special Effects...Sucky Plot Ends the Series

Rating: 6/10 (3 July 2011)

***SPOILERS ARE HERE*** Stop reading NOW if you want to be surprised (although I don't see HOW you can be).
Michael Bay has done it again. He has blown up yet another U.S. city and made you enjoy it. He's turned into the Roland Emmerich of robot flicks. Bay actually sort of blows up two cities...but D.C. got off pretty easy this time. Chicago...well, I won't be taking any vacations there soon. Just sayin'...
The good points are many. The special effects and explosions kick butt. Awesome, awesome, AWESOME! The transformations of the robots still makes me gasp. It is that good. The robots show more emotional range and character development than the humans. I saw the movie in 3-D and the 3-D effects didn't totally suck. Yea Michael! The footage of the wind flyers is almost as cool as the first time I saw it done in a Lara Croft movie back in 2003. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin has a cameo. Leonard Nimoy as the voice of Sentinel Prime was way cool. But...that leads me to the bad stuff.
The bad points are many. There is no plot. Well, there's sort of a plot but it has so many holes in it that you just don't want to think about it. The dialog is rudimentary. Sam screams "OPTIMUS!" or "BUMBLEBEE!" at every turn. Leonard Nimoy swipes his signature phrase from The Wrath of Khan. Even Bumblebee steals a line from the same film. What gives?! The non-PC jokes abound and they are all groaners. I thought we couldn't sink lower than the scrotum reference in the last film...but I was so wrong.
The human actors are not horrible...well, except for the new girl. They really should have waited until the swelling went down on her lips for those kissy closeups. She continues the excessive T&A of the previous actress....what was her name? Megan...something...Fox? The humans don't really matter. We're here to be blown out of our seats and see cool effects. On that the movie delivers.
Go see it in theaters. Don't wait for the Blu-ray. But, be warned, it is a long ride on this roller coaster.