Phwooooar! Boom! Crunch! Phwooar!

Rating: Null/10 (28 July 2011)

The summary I've written is actually paraphrased from Mark Kermode's film review which listened to the other week, and I must say I think it should also be the title of Michael Bay's autobiography whenever it gets written. I really think Michael Bay is good at one thing and all the elements of that one thing - spectacle; from special effects, to spectacular stunts, and set pieces that virtually melt your brain there is no doubting this word when watching the film. In that sense if you were able to combine his talents with another director who knows how to work with actors, and who knows something about plot and story then this person would be a true great. As it is we get one third, not even enough. The other vital two thirds which come together to form this Michael Bay experience are invented upon in a rush and as wildly like as a kid forced into doing his homework - for instance, present the issue of getting high quality acting into this film and the solution presented is John Malkovich. Anything more Michael? No, we just need an actor and Malkovich is that man in this movie - Malkovich will do the acting now lets get back to the explosions! As for the storyline - simply don't worry about it, because if you do you will end up bald from pulling your hair out. As a spectacle this film has something to offer - it is just a shame that scratching the surface only reveals more surface.