Looks don't mean a damn thing

Rating: 5/10 (8 July 2011)

At the time of writing this review, I am under the impression that the North American continent is still reeling from the aftershocks of a Global financial recession. But if the producers have $195 million Dollars to burn, literally, then at a time like this, it is evident that people with money are not prudent enough to avert another financial melt down. Sure, this movie will surpass its budget from just the opening box-office revenue. My big question is whether this Film has enough acclaim to propel the franchise forward? With due respect to the producers, director, actors, and fans of the series, I seriously doubt there will be a fourth compartment to this franchise. If ever there is one, it would be as lucrative as whipping a dead horse.
Don't get me wrong. Michael Bay is a fine director with some excellent films in repute. Although Bay has produced (some with Jerry Bruckheimer) over 20 mega titles, as a director, he will always be remembered for "Bad Boys", "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor". Even so, Bay has never been considered for an Academy Award nomination. On the contrary, he has earned Razzie Awards for Worst Director for "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor". Although personally, I enjoyed both those movies. But if I were to guess, as a kid he must have been obsessed with firecrackers. This third outing has the Michael Bay signature scribbled all over it. Explosions, special effects, explosions, CGI, the other side of the moon, an underwear model that replaces another model who refused to show off her underwear, and some more explosions. Yes, the script tries to be better than the second installment titled "Revenge of the Fallen", and tries really hard to give depth to the characters. The tactic used this time is developing deeper emotions in the human characters while rendering a darker plot. There are some other bits and pieces which I will get to later, but that's about it. Did I mention there are explosions in this film?
If you have missed the first two titles, no big deal. There is no plot continuation whatsoever so there is no need to watch the previous two titles. Actually, I would recommend not watching the second installment. The first and biggest plot hole sees Sam Witwicky as a college graduate, but without a job. Apparently, after helping the Autobots save the world twice, and receiving the congressional Medal of Honor from President Barak Obama, Sam is still not worthy of a job. Go figure. Meanwhile, the Autobots continue to work with the US government in tracking down Decepticon stragglers until an alien fuel cell is found at an abandoned radioactive site in Chernobyl. On investigation, the fuel cell emerges as a classified object retrieved during the Apollo 11 Moon landing in 1969. Arriving on the Moon in search of the Fuel Cell's source, Optimus Prime finds a downed spacecraft that was also classified by the US government. Inside, lies a dying former leader of the Auotbots, Sentinel Prime, and beside him, five strange pillars. What follows is over two hours of special effects that will engage your optic and acoustic nerves to the max. Then again, what more can you expect when the main producer is Steven Spielberg himself.
You have action, you have fast paced action and you have mindless action. Guess which category this film falls into? At times, even the last category goes over the top. As I mentioned before, the film attempts at showing its never-before-seen sensitive side. But seriously, who are you kidding? This film and its predecessors were always meant to be a testosterone fuelled adventure. The acting is horrible and in now way conveys what the half-baked script tries too. I was under the impression that Shia LaBeouf is an up and coming actor. Sadly, this has to be his worst movie as an actor or his best movie as a bad actor. Introducing Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in her first ever acting role (let alone first ever major film production) may be controversial in itself for replacing Megan Fox, but she is proof that you can never expect serious acting from cat-walk sirens. Is she better than Megan Fox? Stunningly better looks, extremely two dimensional acting. While Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson do not add anything fresh in their third appearance, adding John Malkovich and Kevin Dunn along with John Turturro does slow down the pace to some well received lighter moments. There are also well placed cameos from Francis McDormand, Patrick Dempsey and Buzz Aldrin. I thought this was a clever venture to have Aldrin pegged to the film's version of the Apollo 11 Moon landing. Blending a Film's fictitious plot with historical events is always considered a scriptwriter's gift for thinking outside the box. However, the rest of Ehren Kruger's screenplay takes a massive beating with more holes in the plot than craters on the moon. Pun unintended.
This third installment will entertain you if you have nothing else to watch. Teenagers may lap up all two and a half hours of it, but will forget about it even as the end credits roll up. If Michael Bay AND Shia LaBeouf can salvage some critical acclaim after the box-office buzz settles, it would be an ideal time to quit. Another installment in this series with either or both of them will be a final nail to the coffin.