Perhaps Seeing It In 3D Helps.......?

Rating: Null/10 (1 October 2011)

Being curious about the current 'state of the arts in Hollywood' is possibly an acceptable reason for viewing this grueling 2 1/2 hour + mechanical mishmash, but after enduring the storyless CGI exercise in visual and auditory assault the viewer can only hope that in the theaters, with the added dimension of 3D to the soup, the film might have had some saving graces.
Apparently the 'story' goes something like this (at least in a neutral writer's words): 'Autobots Bummblebee, Rachet, Ironhide and Sideswipe led by Optimus Prime, are back in action taking on the evil Decepticons, who are eager to avenge their recent defeat. The Autobots and Decepticons become involved in a perilous space race between the U.S. and Russia, to reach a hidden Cybertronian spacecraft on the moon and learn its secrets, and once again Sam Witwicky has to come to the aid of his robot friends. New villain, Shockwave, who rules Cybertron, is on the scene while the Autobots and Decepticons continue to battle it out on Earth.' In other words this is an action film where the main characters are expanding and imploding auto parts in some semblance of a battle for taking over the earth. What little dialogue there is was written by Ehren Kruger and the comic book cum video game cum 3D epic was 'directed' by Michael Bay.
Given that the film did so well in the theaters (likely due to the novelty of 3D) it made a lot of money. The cast assembled is an admirable one: Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich (for his brief few seconds on screen), Ken Takemoto , and the voices of the mechanical dolls supplied by such actors as Hugo Weaving, Frank Welker, Leonard Nimoy, Robert Foxworth, James Remar, and Francesco Quinn. The problem is that there is so much destruction of the city of Chicago and the flying pieces of the fighting Autobots and Decepticons that finding a story and caring about the non-mechanical actors is tough. But then this is what the public is spending money to see so it is obvious why Hollywood is making movies like this. Could there possibly be another installment coming? Probably..... A must miss award to TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON.
Grady Harp