Worse Than Revenge Of The Fallen!(1/2* Out Of ****)

Rating: 1/10 (29 November 2012)

I really like the first Transformers movie. It was fun and entertaining. Revenge Of The Fallen was a terrible movie riddled with problems. So when I saw that this film grossed $1,123,746,996 when it was in theaters, Than it has to be good right? WRONG! This is one of the most frustrating movies I have ever sat through. This film has more problems than Revege Of The Fallen. Here are the Top 10 Reasons why I hated Transformers Dark Of The Moon.
#10: A Horrible Experience At An Unbearable Length. Not only is this film terrible but why do I have to sit through it for 2hrs and 35min?!!? Its bad enough just having to sit through the second one with Skids and Mudflap.
#9: Story, What Story? The films story is so confusing, especially If you have not seen the first two. This movie jumps around so much that by the time it was over I felt like I had just gotten off of a trampoline with 20 other people. The plot that I understood is that the Decepticons are going after a Cybertronian space craft.
#8: My Parents Are Not This Bad. The parents in this film are annoying and useless. All they seem to do in every movie is bring up something Sexual and uncomfortable. They bing absolutely nothing to the movie and are just pointless filler. Speaking of which.
#7: What Are We Going To Put In It? Half of this movie is just pointless filler. Whether it's Shia LaBeouf whining and crying about not having a job, Him trying to get a job or pointless humor it is not needed. Even the last hour of the film with the Chicago fight is so tedious to watch.
#6: We Won't Use Them For Anything Important. Some of the cast in this film is wasted. People Like Peter Cullen, Leonard Nimoy, John Turturro, John Malkovich, Alan Tudyk, Francis McDormand and Tyrese Gibson are all in this movie and are wasted because they serve no purpose. The only two who serve a purpose are Peter Culllen who voices Optimus Prime and Leonard Nimoy who voices Starscream.
#5: We'll Call Him Deep Wang, Because It's Funny Right? There is a character in this film named Deep Wang played by Ken Jeoung. All he does in this movie for the 7 minutes of screen time he has is talk ghetto. An that's Funny right. Wrong because he serves no purpose to the story whatsoever. You can also check out Ken Jeoung in the soon to be destined classic, Big Mommas Like Father Like Son.
#4. What Is Misogyny? This film thinks that Women are just in these movies to be Sex symbol's. I hate to be a broken record but Rosi Hunnigton-Whiteley Serves no purpose. They just show her in her underwear and is completely forgettable. Showing her in her underwear is not needed in a Transformers movie. (Although it was nice) It still was not needed. Also the female characters serve no purpose they are just there to show themselves off and thats It. Oh by the way for those who do not know what Mysogyny is, it means a hateful or stereotypical view of women.
#3: Ehren Kruger Writes Better Than You (NOT). Literally 90% of these robots I could not recognize because they don't say who they are. Idid not know until this movie is over and that is an example of how well the writer, Ehren Kruger who wrote a good movie Arlington Road, Introduces these characters for people like me who do not have an encyclopedic knowledge of Transformers.
#2: You Know, For Kids! This movie is so Vulgar, Rauncy and Violent that I cannot believe that some parents took little 6 year old Timmy to see this movie. This movie is riddled with Sexual Content and Innuendo plus Too much senseless murdering by the robots in this film.
#1: Shia LaBeouf. I Really hate this actor. All he does in this movie is whine and cry about how he does not have a job and how he saved the world twice when it was all the robots doing the saving and boo hoo this and boo hoo that. I hated him in Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Wall Street Money Never Sleeps and Transformers 2 and 3, Because that is all he does. Quite frankly I hope I don't have to sit through another movie with him again. I wanted to shut this movie off because of Him. If you Like Him, fine but me personally I just can't stand him.
Well there you have it. The Top 10 Reasons why I hated Transformers Dark Of The Moon. Runner up is invoking images of 9/11 and The Challenger Explosion and the fact that I know What The Challenger Explosion is at age 14 is impressive. The only Character That I was invested in was Optimus Prime. Even though he is awesome That really should not happen.
Rated PG-13 For Intense Prolonged Sequences Of Sci-Fi Action Violence, Mayhem And Destuction, And For Language, Some Sexuality And Innuendo.
2hrs 35min/155min.
2 uses of the F-word.
1/2*/****