Rolling out for the last time. HAD it with Brainless Bay.

Rating: 2/10 (1 July 2011)

After the last two, I wasn't holding my breath for Dark of the Moon and just as well. Yet *again* Michael Bay falls short of what Transformers should be. It was never about the humans, it was the story of the Transformers. In Bay's movies the Transformers take a back seat. There's little or no character development and he still hasn't worked out what Transformers look or sound like. And Bay can't even get the characters right. No way is that sorry bucket of bolts Megatron and if Megatron was that decrepit, Starscream would have taken full advantage, blasted him and taken over. In the original G1, the Decepticons were not such ugly, chunky and messy robots and since when do Transformers slobber? Gross. In the original movie when Starscream died I bawled my eyes out and was upset for years. When Screamer bought it this time round I couldn't give a high flying frenzy. Bay is a greedy money making bozo who could not give a stuff about the fans or the characters we know and love. Where was Optimus Prime's compassion for all living things? Loved Megatron's 'Lawrence of Arabia look' Gods he was having a bad hair day. Where were the female Transformers who got an almost non existent cameo in Revenge of the Fallen? Carly spent most of her time being duped, running scared or running to her man. Very sexist. She had a few good lines with Megatron though. The only other woman with a big role was Mearing, a snotty, stuffed-shirt, full of herself bitch. The antics at Sam's workplace were beyond ridiculous. Only Bay with his brains in his nethers could have come up with such tripe. Simmons, a little better in this one is still a dweeb and the last line of the last Transformers movie is him?! What an insult!
It had an interesting premise, but as with the other two, fell short character wise. Bay's movies are bereft of the magic that Transformers once had. Gone is all the original charm. Well at least they called the girl Carly. But what I loved about Carly in the original series (despite not being in many episodes) was that she was not a supermodel and slightly dumpy, which made her real for me as I hardly looked like a supermodel either. In the original show she was also American (not that I have anything against the Brits - I'm half pom myself) but they should stick to the original, but then seeing how Bay's f---ed everything about Transformers that was special, I wasn't surprised. Bay's movies were noting but a huge let down and mega disappointment. In 2007 and 2009 I bought heaps of Transformer toys and merchandise, which I wish I hadn't. I was trying to re-live those childhood years where it brought me so much happiness and joy. That joy no longer exists with these new movies and it's very sad. This time around I only spent $15 on some TF office stationery and a box of TF chocolates and that was it. No point in lining Bay's already overloaded pockets. I certainly hope what goes around comes around for him for what he's done to Transformers. Sadly the younger generation do not know the original and therefore do not have a reference point to see how badly Bay has messed up Transformers. I really feel for them and for what Transformers has become thanks to Bay. And Spielberg should be ashamed of himself. Won't say that a-hole ruined my childhood (like I'll give that pathetic Earth Germ that much credit) I cherish my G1 moments. What I don't get is why Transformers movies couldn't be made this time round with the characters looking and sounding right, with good character development, heart and soul of the original and enough CG action to make it uber-exciting and an unforgettable Oscar winning epic like Lord of the Rings.
On a lighter and happier note, I hear Bay's been ousted by Hasbro and good f**ing riddance. Sad that Hasbro even hired that dorkus molorkus in the first place. Hopefully in the near future we will have a team of intelligent directors and writers that will write that epic that the Transformers and their loyal fans deserve.
Actually, over 10 years before Bay got his grubby, greedy, dirty little hands on Transformers, I had an idea for a live-action Transformers movie, but sadly didn't have the money, connections to contacts like he did :( Goes to show those who deserve to have money and power in this world, sad that many of us don't. Very sad. My story stayed true to the G1 characters, with much character development, an interesting story with many twists, turns, heart-stopping effects and action, (and a real looking Carly) coupled with much heart and soul which Bay lacks period. Sad as it would have shat all over that carbon based microbe's deploringly abysmal so called 'blockbusters.'
Sadly, Transformers, like Megatron in this flick have definitely seen better days.
Rolling out now.
The Transformers have left the building.