Should Have Stayed on the Dark Side of the Moon

Rating: 5/10 (24 December 2011)

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), Lennox (Josh Duhamel), Simmons (John Turturro) and Epps (Tyrese Gibson) are tossed together yet again in the third and (hopefully) final installment of the Tranformers franchise. This time around both the Autobots and the Decepticons are...well...oh who cares about the plot, it's really just an excuse to blow things up. And things do blow up, get smashed and otherwise destroyed in every way imaginable within a ridiculously long 154 minutes.
While not the worst in the series, "Dark of the Moon" is miles away from the first film (which isn't saying much). Just like "Revenge of the Fallen" the film is crammed full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. New characters both human and robotic crowd the screen many spewing "comic relief" lines that detract from the story. Instead of Megan Fox they plucked Rosie Huntington-Whiteley out of Victoria Secrets to play Michael Bay's required T&A; the results are most unfortunate.
Whether you're a huge unwavering fan of the "Transformers" movie franchise or a detractor their is one thing I'm sure we can all agree; this series has stagnated. How many times have we already seen Sam come a couple milliseconds from death, another evil metallic monolith trying to take over the world or Optimus Prime kicking the gears of yet another robotic bad guy. We've all seen it before and as a result this film is just a retread of the same old tired themes told in the exact same slapdash way. The only difference is its longer.
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