Absolutely Dreadful

Rating: 1/10 (11 July 2011)

THIS CONTAINS A HINT OF SPOILER.
The first thing people say when you tell them how bad this movie was, "Why are you thinking in a Michael Bay movie?"
Unfortunately, unlike some of the clapping, giggling, mouth breathing morons who I had to spend 3 hours sitting through this crap with, I cannot turn my brain off. I like to be entertained and at the same time, be told a story.
Michael Bay cannot be bothered to tell me a story. In fact, Michael Bay couldn't be bothered to make a movie that made any sense. From beginning to end, Transformers 3 was 2hrs and 45mins of explosions, CGI, more explosions and one of the most disjointed, badly acted, horribly written pieces of dredge I've ever seen.
There are plot holes wide enough to fit Cybertron through (and, funnily enough, this actually occurs), while every actor phones in their performance, trying extremely hard not to rush off the set to thumb through the countless millions they earned to simply appear on set and stay standing.
Yet, after reading some of these reviews, I'm also beginning to think it's Bay's attempt to gauge the intelligence of his viewership. If all the peasant majority need to be seduced is an incredibly loud soundtrack and footage of robots fighting, then I have a very strong