My Popcorn Cup Overfloweth

Rating: 7/10 (28 June 2007)

Michael Bay has sunk a small flotilla of his Pearl Harbour demons with the high-octane, CGI-laden, robopron that is Transformers.
Sure the fanboys will bore us all to the planet Tedium with their critiques of the minutiae and demand some sort of supreme interplanetary justice that the Camaro gets redrawn as a VW Beetle in the Director's Edition DVD-set with Limited Edition Lube Dispenser. But for most of us, who gives a flying box of bananas? The film successfully treads that fine balance between kids-own-adventure-that-will-sell-gazillions-of-toys and popcorn actioner explosive enough and well scripted enough to have the more discerning set checking in for the ride.
Armed with a rudimentary knowledge of the Transformers mythology and an increasingly underwhelming view of modern blockbusters (Spidey 3 and Pirates 3, 300, most other 3's, your number's up), I turned up to the film with low expectations but left eagerly pecking stuff like "best CGI eva" and "Shia's gonna rock it as young Indy" into my handset.
Though not quite perfect: the goofy Sector Seven team dragged the middle act into high camp territory and the hacking team seemed to get totally lost in the flying climax debris, such flaws only mildly tarnished the metallic sheen of a masterpiece of metal-shredding mayhem. Let's face it, who doesn't drool over squadrons of A-10's pounding searing rounds of whatevernium-tipped shells into 50ft robots, it's bloody great.
Oh and you may want to start updating all your home cinema components to HDMI. Ultimately, this'll be the DVD that'll get your mates slapping their heads in audio-visual rapture and wishing they could be more like you.
Bang for buck behemoth.