Japanese idiocy American way

Rating: 1/10 (2 November 2007)

I recently read a comment here on IMDb that said this movie is in no way meant for kids and that everyone should see it no matter how old they are. For example, another guy said: When I saw the trailer of the film I thought that Transformers was going to be another silly action movie without a story but I was wrong. Oh, God! He was wrong! And I was dumb enough to fall for this. IT IS A SILLY ACTION MOVIE WITHOUT A STORY! Let's make one thing clear. I have nothing against cartoons turn blockbusters. But this is something completely different. Apart from good FX that bore you to death after so many repetitions, this flick is a mindless showcase of bad script, horrible acting and stumping plot which glorifies US Army and supposedly gang-ho government keen on keeping top secrets for the benefit of the nation. From scene one you wish the main character dies a horrifying death and you imagine him ending up in Hostel 3, but unfortunately this is not a torture-porn or a slasher where you can hope someone would perform medieval on his a*s. This aggravating actor who, by the way, carbon copied his role in Disturbia, then finds himself a peer in a pretentious, "popular", vain high-school girl who keeps delivering lines of a four year old and at one point agrees to sit in his lap because he said he has the only seatbelt and safety comes first. And yet, she tells him he's a smooth talker!? Are American girls really that stupid or is it what Hollywood want them to be? Shia is one bad actor who repeats himself and have seen too many sitcoms as a kid, and his acting is made even worse by lame directing. You even find yourself embarrassed by his acting. The two then make a hero couple who start getting on your nerves and every moment you wish these two wannabe actors at least get squashed by a giant robot's foot and get it over with. Except the ticket price, there is absolutely nothing here that will keep you in your seat throughout this video/audio torture, for the CGI FX are pointless if your intelligence is being constantly insulted by this no-brainer. The small Decepticons mumble like Gremlins or spiders in Eight legged freaks, which is totally inappropriate sound effect for a robot, as it is for a spider. I don't know which car company sponsored this disaster, maybe all of them did, along with eBay and US Army, but I found that TV commercial with the same robot-to-car transformation much more entertaining and fulfilling. I know Jon Voight sank low lately, but John Turturro was one of my favorite character actors. I just hope this extremely high rating is not a result of a mass voting by dumbed-down adults who suffered an incurable brain damage, but by neglected kids poisoned and brainwashed by anime. This should be banned for people over 10 outside Japan.