Should've been called "Shia LaBeouf feat. The Transformers"

Rating: 3/10 (12 February 2014)

Transformers is a franchise that was born out of the need to make money. And yet, it grew beyond being just another '80s toy marketing scheme into it's own distinct universe and tone. It had a soul. It was one of those things where all you had to do was take one look at it and go, "That's Transformers." But this movie has no soul. It does not revolve around Optimus Prime and the Autobots fighting a (somehow) covert war against the Decepticons. No, this movie revolves around the adventures of Shia LaBeouf and his Styrofoam-bland girlfriend Megan Fox getting in over their heads and delivering exposition.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "It's got the giant robots in it, and that's all I need." Well, you know how in the cartoons there's always an explosion of color whenever sheit goes down, accompanied by kick-ass music? Yeah, this movie, and ALL of Bay's Transformers movies, have none of that. The fights take place in this eerie silence and all of the unique colors of both the Autobots and the Decepticons are lost under a pile of chrome. The Transformers themselves are unrecognizable aside from Optimus and the sound of the Transformers changing from vehicles to bots always made my skin crawl.
"Soulless"... Yeah, that's a good way to sum up these movies.