Atrocious

Rating: 2/10 (3 July 2007)

Do you people WORK for the studio? This movie is an atrocious mangling of the Transformer's title. It is a myriad of senseless sub-plots that jar awkwardly against one another, often never even concluding. If you enjoy the abstract image of metal smashing against metal, then you may also enjoy the pace-less action sequences where the overly-complicated and indistinguishable robots smash against one another in a big chrome blur. I commend the actors for their ability to hide the immense shame they must have felt at reading aloud the trite, clichéd and bewilderingly soulless dialogue. However, their awkwardness shows. As always, the black robot is the only good guy to die. His passing was regrettable, but he was soon replaced by the Mountain Dew Vending Machine, the X-Box 360 and the Mercedes Car Horn. You may think I'm kidding, but these characters do make an appearance during the climactic battle scene. They fire randomly into the panic-stricken humans and then are inexplicably hailed as "friends" by the victorious Optimus Prime. Also, Megatron is Prime's brother(WHAT!?).
I remain incredulous.