An entirely positive review for this movie

Rating: 1/10 (26 March 2014)

Here is my four point plan for understanding this piece of sh*t movie: 1. Some studio actually chose Michael Bay to direct Transformers, like that was their best idea. 2. Shia LeBeouf is the lead. When people tell me Shia LeBeouf is good at acting, I've found that these same persons also don't watch very many movies. Its like if all the food you ever ate had rat feces in it, you might assume that food with rat feces in it is perfectly acceptable, but you would be wrong. 3. The humor of this movie is like that of a wealthy rapist,who by virtue of his vast wealth is able to evade any and all legal repercussions for his many rapes. 4. Its a movie about a cartoon series about talking cars that transform into robot-men from outer space. The cartoon existed solely to sell toys. It was an absurd show kept relevant by nostalgia alone. So when Transformers is turned into a live action movie its not filmed as an absurd satire, but rather as a serious action movie. A sad self-important bore featuring a dead-eyed Megan Fox, way to go everybody!