Biggest disappointment of the year

Rating: 1/10 (11 July 2007)

I loved the cartoon series as a kid and, after seeing the commercials, thought it would be freaking awesome. Instead, I wound up stuck in a movie with a ridiculous plot, too many irrelevant characters, and too much sex humor for a movie that is supposed to be about giant robots wailing on each other (I am in my twenties and male, so I can hardly be considered a prude. The fact that even I cringed at the mother making masturbation jokes means that there is such a thing as a limit for that sort of humor). Most of the Transformers do not even show up until the movie is halfway over. The subplot of the signal detection team (who did nothing except point out that some alien being had hacked the network-a no-brainer) could be cut without losing anything of note (except for the funny scene where Anthony Anderson's on-screen cousin gets tackled by the FBI agent into the pool). And what's with Bumblebee pissing on the FBI Agent, and Mikaela making him take his clothes off? The action scenes are stellar, but not enough to make up for all of the other mistakes in the movie. If you copy and pasted scenes from Independence Day, Matrix Revolutions, a bunch of US air force commercials and Bad Santa all together on your computer, you would wind up with basically the same mess.