This isn't a movie

Rating: 1/10 (7 January 2009)

This "movie" is nothing more than a glorified car commercial with explosions. Micheal Bays' usual formula of product placement and CGI fight scenes once again spews out drivel to brainwash you in the guise of entertainment. Almost every part of this movie was auctioned off to various corporations before it was made and it shows. Long panning shots of cars crossing a desert leaving a billowing dust trail, sound familiar? The acting is terrible, the dialogue corny. Shia LaBeouf plays a thoroughly unlikable little wiener whose sole role in the movie is chasing after a girl 2 feet too tall for him and getting dating advice from a camaro. Also, no kid that age would have second thoughts about a girl so out of his league (Which I assume is peewee) because she has a record. What kind of Middle America suburban mentality are they trying to conjure up here? It's a shame John Turturro lowered himself to doing this crap because he's an actor worthy of better films. The only people I can see liking this are slow children and fan boys.