NOT a kids' movie, and that's a bad thing

Rating: 5/10 (2 July 2007)

Looked at as a whole, as an adult viewer and lifelong fan, I enjoyed this film. The action sequences were a bit too frenetic, and left me with a nauseous migraine. As an "80s nostalgia" flick, it was very interesting. There's "Col. Sharp" (the name of Duke's boss before they brought Hawk into the Sunbow GI Joe series). The three main army guys could just as easily have been called "Duke," "Roadblock" and "Gung-Ho," and there are several other things a Joe fan will catch. There's even a line about Japanese technology taken almost verbatim from the cheesy _Masters of the Universe_ (non-Hasbro property, but 80s) movie.
One major "inside" reference: Jazz was originally a Porsche; Bumblebee was originally a yellow VW bug. A few years ago, when Hasbro started the "Alternators" line of TFs that were more "authentic" toy car replicas using "Generation 1" characters, VW and Porsche both refused to license their products to a "war toy." Since then, fans have been disappointed in these characters' classic alt-modes not appearing in various collector-oriented lines or in the movie. The movie addresses this comically in the scenes where Sam's dad takes him to buy a car.
But here's the big disappointment: this is not a kids' movie *at all*. Bay and other producers kept talking about not wanting to make a "toy movie." Many fans talked about wanting "realisim" and so forth. I had thought it was understood that this film should at least be *appropriate* for children, and that Hasbro would have seen to that.
I could not in good conscience allow my children to see this movie, and I'm advising all parents not to. They say Spielberg argued the MPAA down from an "R" rating to "PG-13". There are some things in "R" rated movies that I'd sooner tolerate my children viewing than certain scenes in this film. There are some highly gratuitous scatological jokes and sex references for a movie that is supposed to be striking a balance between a young kids' market and a young adult market.
I was expecting something along the lines of _Star Wars_ or _Ghostbusters_, where some more adult-oriented aspects just go over kids' heads, but this movie is very "in your face" about some things. It raises topics that many parents don't even want their kids hearing about.