Another Michael Bay "classic".

Rating: 2/10 (10 July 2007)

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS.
Anyone who has seen a previous Michael Bay movie knows exactly what to expect, so I went to the movie theater very cautious about what I was about to see, and tried not to think about it as a movie based on a beloved show from my childhood, and rather as a "big budget action fest with robots".
There are just too many problems with this movie. Like all Bay movies, its at least a half hour too long. It has both unnecessary scenes and too many characters, and thus, no character development. The action scenes are both drawn out and short at the same time. There are long periods of action, yes, but each Decepticon that is fought is generally defeated very quickly, so don't expect to see any decent robot-on-robot battles that last any longer than a few seconds. The action scenes, specifically the ones involving Transformers fighting each other, are very hard to follow. For example, I have no idea how Bumblebee lost its legs, or how exactly Optimus Prime lost his fight with Megatron (and neither did any of the people I was with). There are definitely plenty of explosions and a good deal of action...the only problem is that the action isn't actually any good.
Much of the dialog was cheesy, and half a dozen times people in the audience broke out in laughter in scenes that were definitely not meant to be funny, simply because of how bad the dialog was at times.
The movie portrays the Decepticons as unstoppable killing machines, but shows the Autobots as awkward, bumbling fools. The scene at the Witwicky's is especially bad, as the Autobots refuse to listen to Sam and apparently cannot movie with any hint of finesse, instead managing to crush anything near them or just trip over their own feet. The Autobots generally serve no purpose throughout the movie but to provide comic relief, and many of them have very little on-screen time or dialog. Are we supposed to believe that the Autobots can learn English from watching television, but cant learn anything about earth in the process? There are also a number of obvious plot holes in the movie that practically jump out and slap you across the face. A good example of this is how Megatron had been frozen for thousands of years but immediately after being resurrected could speak English perfectly.
As a Transformers movie, there is very little here resembling the original series. The characters all act and look very different from their G1 counterparts. The vehicles they transform into are now all brand new GM automobiles, which are featured throughout the movie. Other advertisements are rampant as well, for example the mountain dew soda machine that turns into a Transformer covered in mountain dew advertisements, and fires cans of mountain dew at people....which is probably the only way they could get anyone to drink it.
Unfortunately I couldn't enjoy this as a Transformers movie, or as a big budget action flick...it is just too horribly directed. When I saw it, a dozen people walked out, and many booed at the end. I cant blame them.
There's plenty of other flaws to point out, but unfortunately I just don't have that much free time. If you can turn off your brain and watch the movie without thinking about anything you are seeing, as a person has to do with any other of Bays films, you may enjoy it. If you like coherent story lines and character development then this movie is not for you.