Someone stop Bay for the love of God...

Rating: 1/10 (7 August 2007)

Okay, i'm 23 years old, pretty well educated in both life and film and have decided to review this is 2 sections:
1) as a transformers fan 2) as a member of public who knows nothing about transformers.
So...
1) Well, This film was always going to be very different from the cartoon. I was just surprised by how little respect Michael Bay clearly has for the original. Read the boards and you will see a list as long as your arm about 'fan boy' faults...Prime has blue flames, jazz acts like he's from the ghetto etc. I won't list the whole list but it's enough to say that Bay probably has NEVER watched a TF cartoon in his life. Another major gripe is there was outrage at the 'non-mass shifting' rule they placed on the robots, meaning Megatron couldn't be a gun, Prime couldn't have a trailer and Soundwave couldn't be a cassette (all would require their sizes to change during transformation), yet the 'allspark' CAN change for seemingly no reason. Hypercrites.
I would rant longer but i don't want to say more than a 1000 words.
2) As a non-fan i found this film RUBBISH. Bay cannot direct. The simplest rules of directing seem unheard of to him, as one meaningless action scene blends into another, followed by 10 minute scenes of tanks, planes or other military hardware. The humour is well, not funny and the script badly written. The actors try but really can't do much with this rubbish, filled with plot holes big enough for unicron to fall through. A word for the visuals as well - rushed. Each battle scene is so shaky and unfocused that i couldn't physically watch the screen most of the time. I felt nothing for any of the characters and left the cinema wondering why i'd wasted my time on this pap.
1/10