A cinematic Hindenburg

Rating: 1/10 (6 July 2007)

Spider-Man 3, Pirates 3, and Fantastic Four 2 were all terrible, but in comparison to Transformers they are each a Citizen Cane. Transformers is a cinematic Hindenburg.
Let's review what this movie presents us with. Stereotypes: two sassy black grandmas; an Hispanic whose Spanish annoys the WASPs; a dumb, aggressive high school jock; the transformer named Jazz is presented as an American black (jazz music = black, apparently).
Cheap, sophomoric humor: teenage masturbation; dog peeing on transformer; transformer peeing on man; "can I ride you home" instead of "can I give you a ride home." The plot, if that's even what it is, casts doubt in my mind that the movie's writer has a cerebral yield greater than a house plant.
This movie is almost as grating on my soul as Superman Returns.