Bay and Spielberg Smash the Transformers to Pieces

Rating: 1/10 (4 July 2007)

Transformers (2007)
Review: In a world of remakes and rewrites, we get a childhood classic Transformers. The thing is that I was looking forward to this movie. Here is my take:
Transformers starts off okay with a pretty terrifying scene at a military base with a first look at one of the Decepticons in the form of a helicopter. Seems like a serious movie is in play, right? Then things go from good to bad when we are introduced to our main character. Sam Witwickey(Shia LeBeouf)is a total dork who is in need of some......companionship. He gets himself his first car that is a really worn out Camero. Of course it is our first Autobot in disguise.
What is wrong here is quite simple. First, Our lead character is so overblown as a desperate dork that it becomes frustrating. I GET IT. He is stuck with parents that are so out of touch like they just can't live past the 50's. It's the cliché loser title character. He picks up a hot chick(Megan Fox)and all things get awkward. The car starts playing cheesy music and starts all sorts of problems for no reason at all. This set off a series of irritating scenarios. Transformers suddenly became a 3rd rate teen comedy. Honestly, anything involving Shia's character was off the charts dreadful.
We get some more serious stuff from the pentagon finding out info about the alien lifeforms then we meet another set of irritating characters. Another hot chick who just happens to be an amazing wizard on the computer than anyone else in the freaking pentagon. Unreal. Did I mention that she is about 20 years old? Anyway we meet the annoying Anthony Anderson as well.
Then we finally meet the rest of the Transformers. One good thing here is that Peter Cullen still has got it. He is perfect as Optimis Prime. Too bad that even the Transformers(or at least the Autobots anyway)are a bunch of idiots too, the scene at Sam's house for example was horrendous.
After all of this, we finally get to the point and the conclusion of the movie and it's quite anti-climatic. And the closing shot of the movie could not be in anymore bad taste.
So to sum thing up: The Pros: The special FX are dazzling. The transforming was cool as well as the voice-overs.
Cons: About 90% of this movie. From having plot holes to shaky action scenes and having horrendous teenage comedy stuck in the middle(about an hour of this movie was filled with this garbage)to guys being the idiots and worthless character development to our "hero" and almost none to the Transfomers.
Get it?
The Last Word: Ick. This is EASILY one of the worst movies of the year. It's comedy sucked, it's action did not deliver, it's acting was wooden, the characters were annoying.....woo..gah.....let me catch my breath. I REALLY wanted to like this. Do not see this. It's not just my final word, I am doing a public service by not recommending this trash. I cannot remember having such a terrible time in the theaters.