An abomination.

Rating: 2/10 (14 January 2008)

Who'da thunk? Michael Bay has created a film that bores, insults your intelligence, hurts your eardrums and gives you a headache... and all it asks for in return is three hours of your time! I'd be less angry if it was a simple Point A to Point B action movie, because it obviously never tries to be anything more than mindless high budget crap for the lowest common denominator. But it's not a simple Point A to Point B action movie, rather a schizophrenic mess whose main plot is only revealed after two hours of hilarious I'm-an-awkward-teen comedy and introductions of 1-dimensional side characters with annoying accents.
You gotta respect that Bay fellow. He's managed to build a lucrative, long-lasting career in the movie biz despite having no directing talent whatsoever. People say his films are just for fun, yet I've never seen a movie of his which didn't give me epileptic seizures, make my blood boil and bore me with a 2 hour plus running time. I simply can't enjoy this man's creations no matter how I approach them.
Don't let the title fool you; this has nothing to do with cool robots. In fact this film has nothing to do with anything. It's just another meaningless collection of stylized shots of sunsets, gunfire and tumbling cars set to swelling patriotic music for Bay to masturbate over. I feel bad for John Turturro, who's probably still trying to cleanse his body from the filth of this script.
"Transformers" is not intended for intelligent life from any planet. Don't see this, because there's nothing more here than meets the eye. Horrible.
2/10