Now all we need is a little Energon, and a lot of luck.

Rating: 6/10 (3 July 2007)

Well people, it's finally happened. The Transformers have exploded back on to the silver screen, and this time, with real people in tow. Live-action Transformers? Is this even possible?! I figured it was worth commenting on.
Being a Transformers fan for much of my life, an event like this really meant a lot to me. Every bit of hype and documentation on the production of this movie I soaked in like a sponge. Yes, perhaps I was a little sad when I discovered Bumblebee was not represented as the little yellow VW I've recognized for over 15 years (keep in mind I'm still young for a TF fan), but I knew that wasn't the important thing. This movie was to bridge an interesting gap between the generations of now and then, to bring whole hordes of us budding adults back to our childhood while children of today experienced it all for the first time just like we once did. And to top it off, this could even be the moment when our aging parents finally took the time to go to the theater and "Get" what the heck we were doing as kids. Finally they could see why a transforming handgun was more "cool" than "dangerous," why a set of construction vehicles at a garage sale were worth their weight in gold, and why a robotic semi truck on its death bed could make us cry so incredibly hard. Finally
Well, hate to spoil the moment folks. Transformers is merely an "okay" movie, at least for me. I by no means felt it was a waste of my time or money, but the elements I hoped would be preserved the most in a movie of this sort just weren't there. I'm talking about "character," people.
This movie really sells itself on the novelty of having transforming robots on screen, and having some pretty wild special effects to boot, but there's not much else to it than that. It lacks heart. It lacks purpose. Too much of the movie I found myself with time to poke at plot holes instead of being enthralled in the matters of a character's story (save for Sam's anyway). Mind you, I'm not talking about rocket science here, I usually turn to movies such as "Bloodsport" and "Masters of the Universe" for this kind of thing. Any movie that puts me in the driver's seat and gets me to throw out a few honest high-fives here and there, earns my respect. Transformers didn't quite do that for me, even though I really wanted it to.
Concerning the movie's faults, past a neat opening, we're suffocated with some shoddy plot gimmicks, forced scripts, excessive close-ups, and some of the weirdest cuts you'll ever see for a movie of this sort. Watch as the most important elements of the scene suddenly (and quietly) vanish from view, so we can see John Turturro be sarcastic while Shia Lebeouf tries really hard to get him to care about these giant robots "supposedly" behind him. Shia sells the movie way more than the robots themselves can, because the Transformers hardly have enough time to show you what they're all about in the first place. Being on screen, and developing character, are two very different things, and this movie proves that quite well. The cutting also hinders many of the special effects sequences by making it almost too easy to point out scenes that were "intended" for CG, and those that weren't (Frenzy does his thing here, Prime will transform here). It's almost like you could calculate the budget restraints of the film while you watched it, which I found very distracting.
On the upside, this take on Transformers doesn't sabotage itself. So much of the plot is forgettable, that the movie can almost work as a really expensive pilot to something better, while the action offers a unique experience worth at least one ticket to the theater. Heed the warnings, it's not perfect, nowhere close even, but thanks to the hard efforts of Lebeouf, Cullen, and a truckload of under-appreciated special effects artists, you'll at least have an interesting time at the movies.
As for an old fan like myself, I'm still waiting for this project to transform into something greater. Just ask Simon Furman, Transformers shed its skin as a toy fad many years ago, and the lore has yet to reach it's true potential on the silver screen. It's not quite my "darkest hour," but next round, I'll be looking forward to something that is truly "more than meets the eye."