Transform everything, please.

Rating: 1/10 (31 July 2007)

I honestly think i should've been paid to watch this film. The whole thing was the most OTT, product-placement-obsessed, playboy-meets-nerd piece of "film" i've ever seen. The CGI was good, yes, but the camera's obsession with being "in the action" and being involved in the effects the Transformers have on the mise-en-scene was just so...bloody...annoying. "Ok...here comes a fight...might be worth the dialogue aimed at 2 year olds, the crap jokes and the apparent pointless-ness of the Transformers themselves so far, what with the bad ones who look all the same doing anything remotely significant and the humans blowing the crap out of the supposedly indestructible metal aliens...oh, no wait. I can't see...anything, and the people around me are complaining they're becoming motion-sick. I really like it, Bay"
I can't stop you, but seriously, in the words of Randal in Clerks 2, for for Jesus's sake, don't go and see this utter waste of two hours, which to be honest, you could've spent watching Big Brother and had more fun. And that's saying something blasphemous.