A Transformation Into Catastrophe (Review Has No Spoilers)

Rating: 2/10 (3 July 2007)

Like many others on this forum, I grew up with the Transformers. So understandably, they hold a special place in my heart. Imagine my excitement when I first heard they were announcing a live action flick for my beloved Transformers. Imagine my despair when I heard Michael Bay was on board to direct. Despite my perpetual distrust of Michael Bay's directing abilities, I wanted to cut the guy a break and trust that he would come through with a great movie in Transformers. That confidence came largely due to Steven Spielberg's endorsement of Michael Bay.
In the end however, my initial instincts were right. Simply put, the film was a disappointment. Michael Bay's Transformers suffers from the same ailment that all other Michael Bay films suffer from: A lack of character development. A lack of story development. A lack of proper editing. A lack of proper dialogue. An over indulgence in jittery camera work. As in any other prototypical Michael Bay affair. The magnificent effects, the amazing explosions and the "jitter cam" are simply hiding the gaping holes within the film...It's complete exclusion of anything coherent. At no point did I feel I was fully invested in either the story or in any of the characters.
Shia LaBeouf does an admirable job with Sam. Given the painfully limited capacity in which he is used, Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime is affective as well. Meagan Fox is nothing but eye candy, all be it, a very beautiful candy. Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and company are mere pawns with little purpose. The likes of Jon Voight and John Turturro are sparsely used to forward a plot that is already clinging for dear life. It is a talented cast, if you read some of those names back, but nothing in Transformers is fully fleshed out. Therein lies the problem.
Expecting a high end drama or Oscar material from your usual summer "blockbuster" release is foolish, I'm very much aware of that. Still, I expect some portion of intelligent thought in my summer blockbusters meals. The kind I could wryly shrug at, all the while, just as easily, admitting it was a lot of fun.
For every single ounce of life in me, I cannot fathom how this film is getting rated 9 on 10's or 8 on 10's. Which essentially means, people are putting this utter example of garbage film-making, right up there with the likes of: The Matrix, Star Wars, Alien, Terminator, Gladiator e.t.c. Now that is amazing! When it comes to films like Transformers, I've heard people say "I didn't even have to use my brain. That's what made it great!" I can understand this to a degree, watching dramas all the time isn't fun either. But putting your faculties on hold altogether, is simply asking for far too much. Filmmakers like Michael Bay all to often try to peddle "flash and bangs" under the guise of "summer blockbuster" or "popcorn films." While conveniently and completely disregarding mere basic tenants of film-making.
Take for example Star Wars. The film that started the whole summer blockbuster tradition, the mother of all popcorn films so to speak. Yet it's still a film that stands head and shoulders above the likes of Transformers. Why you ask. The reason is simple. George Lucas was wise enough to develop a good story and flesh out the characters. If you think about it, films such as Star Wars, Alien and The Matrix take place in an equally preposterous universe. Although, in each instance, their filmmakers decided on creating a believable storyline and believable characters. A skill that Michael Bay, rather unfortunately, is desperately lacking.
I've nothing personal against Michael Bay or Transformers. I take no pleasure in giving Transformers a bad score or giving Michael Bay a hard time of it. I do happen to think that there is talent within Bay. He does have a knack for action sequences and all things combustible. Though again, his absolute disregard for everything else hampers the impact of what he has managed to do right.
The film isn't without a few positives (few being the operative word). There are some very nice effects on display here. It's obvious that a great deal of care went into creating all the robots. The skill with which the CGI interact with their environments is amazing. The stunt work and pyrotechnics within the film are top notch as well. Though again, with Michael Bay's incessant need to use jittery camera work and disorienting edits, one isn't able to fully appreciate the aesthetics in their full glory.
To be honest, I really did want to like this film. God knows I tried my best. I kept holding out for something, but the end credits rolled on and the proverbial fat lady had sung. Very loudly and very badly it would seem. Ultimately, It's a very shoddy and an extremely mishandled piece of film-making. I can put up with the jittery camera movement Bay is so fond of. I can put up with the disorienting edit jobs. I can even put up with the horrible dialogue. What I can't put up with, is a poorly conceived storyline and atrocious character development. Even if it is for a "blockbuster/popcorn" film. Michael Bay's Transformers is akin to a huge state of the art luxury cruise liner, all the bells and whistles attached. With a crucial exception. The engine needed to power it.
Thumbs Down.
NOTE: The critic James Berardinelli at Reelviews.net sums it up quite nicely with a bit more detail. Something that I didn't want to get into on account of spoilers.