Machines try to stop another from getting a cube -else the earth is screwed.

Rating: 5/10 (30 September 2007)

When a movie is not as good as it could have been it's usually not the fault of the FX people. They deliver 99% of the time (when it's not low-budget). And it's usually not the fault of a seasoned actor if a movie is lucky enough to snag one. This movie snagged Jon Voight who played his role as a general or secretary of state (I forget which) straight as an arrow. Good for him. I only wish everyone else had done the same thing.
Let me explain: I guess you could call this movie a "sci-fi semi-comedy" whose humor was largely supposed to be in the dialogue and the antics of an uncute mini-transformer . Trouble is, though trying hard to be, the dialogue wasn't funny and got on my nerves big time. Honestly, I had a border-line migraine from the unfunny chatter. There were at least 3 occasions (maybe more) where I can remember thinking "Shut the f**k up, already!" The principal offender was the "Disturbia" guy who seems to be type-cast 'cause he was doing his nervous, babbling, blundering when-I-see-a-girl-I-like and when-there's-a-crisis shtick. Somehow the pretty girl in the movie is always attracted to him and I seriously wonder why. Maybe they feel his constant nervous blathering is disarming and even cute; perhaps even flattering. They probably also figure that any man who is this tongue-tied and bumbling over a woman would make a nice pet.
To help young Disturbia out with the unfunny chatter was a brief appearance (mercifully) by Bernie Mac who plays a fast-talking car salesman (Was this one of those times when I said "Shut the f**k up?"). Now I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like the more success some comedians achieve the less funny they become; just not as sharp as the good old days when they had their "A-game" going on. Also on hand to help Disturbia (I don't know the guy's name folks) tank this movie was Anthony Anderson with more unfunny yak yak. (No memory loss here; I did say "Shut the f**k up, already!" to this guy on his intro.)
Finally, parents take note: kids, because they tend to be less critical, would enjoy this movie more because of the cool machines and special effects. I myself would also have enjoyed this movie more if the rest of the cast played their roles as dignified and straight as Jon Voight. There was just too much unfunny motor mouthing going on for me. And the end of the movie reminded me of why I generally don't like war movies: too noisy and confusing. You know- Who's doing what to who, and why? Etc, etc, etc. KA-BOOM! CRASH! BANG!
Aspirins, anyone?
Love, Boloxxxi.