a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury....signifying nothing

Rating: 4/10 (27 July 2007)

The immortal words of Shakespeare came to mind as I watched Michael Bay's latest abomination of cinema. Why Shakespeare? Because he was a man who with little more than a stage and a few actors and some creativity he entranced hundreds, then thousands, now millions with stories with humor and heart. Basic human dramas rich with timeless themes.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have Michael Bay, a T.V. commercial and music video director with about as much soul as a cappuccino machine. He has a budget of $100 million and the best special effects that money can buy and all he can come up with is this.
This travesty. This is two-hour slickly produced, focus group honed Chevy commercial with some comic relief and some nostalgic Saturday morning cartoon robots thrown in for good measure. Is the new Camaro hot? Duh, that's like asking is Megan Fox is, well, a fox... Sure the vehicles look great and the effects were well done, but the film like it's vacuous director lacked a soul.
People will say, "But...it's a just a popcorn summer movie!" or "It's the "Transformers" what do you expect?" Well, I expect more than what I received for the ticket price.
I expect some attempt at an interesting plot. Come on! Herbert Hoover hid it in the dam? Please. World class beauty falls for the insecure nerdy kid? Whatever. Optimus Prime wants to sacrifice himself to save the world? Nonsense.
The film lacked scope. It lacked any sense of dramatic tension. It lacked suspense. The cartoonish over-the-top performances of Turturro and Voight were B-movie grade schlock.