Pssst! If you're a woman -- read this!

Rating: 6/10 (28 June 2007)

The guys in the audience at my screening were practically ejaculating in their seats. This was VERY exciting for them.
For me (middle-aged woman), eh. Not so much.
(Look at all those 10 star reviews on here. They're all written by these guys.)
See there's this 17 year old boy who has a crush on a girl in his class. Who appears to be 30 and a supermodel. When she finds out he's got a car that's an alien robot, she's all over him. (Yes, it's all about boy fantasies.)
Keep your little kids (or anyone nightmare-prone) FAR away from this film! A LOT of nightmarish images. Nice people and little kids have very scary pointy metallic objects reaching for them. Or batting them around. (I'm pretty sure a lot of people were killed -- but they glossed over that quickly.)
Even tho I'd never seen a Transformer cartoon or toy or whatever the frick these things are, I was able to grasp the plot easily. But the movie just wore me down.
These huge piles of garbage (or whatever the frick they are) were hard to wrap my eyes around. When they stood up and moved they were impressive (frightening even). But when they spoke, they just seemed dorky.
The movie whip-sawed between goofy comedy and terrifying action movie. Seems to be a mish-mash of styles. It didn't have an even tone. (And yes, I understand about comic relief.) The movie just seemed cobbled together from a lot of different parts -- like the creatures.
Around 3/4 of the way thru, I got tired of big things whamming each other and shut my eyes for a few moments. Open my eyes: Still going on. And on and on.
I couldn't wait for it to be over. At the end of the movie I was headachy and slightly nauseous.
But the guys were jumping in the air. Outside they were peeling out in their over-sized trucks way too fast. ("Look at me! I'm a Transformer!")
Ah. Boys and their toys.
If you're a male in real or prolonged adolescence this will probably be the high point of your life.
But if you're anyone else, I suggest you find something else in the cineplex to see and let the boys have this one all to themselves.