Terrible movie ******* spoilers**********

Rating: 1/10 (2 May 2008)

This is for those old school Transformer "Fans" who actually liked Bay's horrid film version.
Before that, read the Premise of the 80's cartoon.
The Transformers are a race of intelligent machines from a war-torn planet that has had its resources depleted by war. The Autobots seek out a planet that is rich in energy sources so they can replenish Cybertron. The Decepticons follow them. Both factions crash land on Earth, which is rich in natural resources that can be converted into Energeon Cubes that are consumable by Transformers. So, the Autobots unwittingly led the Decepticons to a new planet of innocent life (humans) and have unknowingly carried their war to Earth. Optimus feels guilty but realizes that the Autobots must defeat the Decepticons lest Megatron uses Earth's rich energy to rule Earth, Cybertron and beyond.
Now, that was the premise of the cartoon, made for a bunch of 6-year-olds. What's the plot of the movie? Everyone has to get a mystical cube that can make Transformers, because somehow making Transformers is the key to ruling the Universe. In order to get the cube, the Transformers must track down a pair of glasses with a map to the cube imprinted on the lenses. This is one of the most MISSED OPPORTUNITIES in movie making! Wouldn't the original cartoon idea be more relevant today anyway? A war in another land for energy. Gee, where have I seen that before? How the hell is a kids cartoon richer & deeper than a live-action Hollywood motion picture?
I want you to ask yourself these questions below.
DO YOU THINK IT'S GOOD THAT
Cybertron is destroyed? This destroys the entire concept of TF. Plus this gave the excuse to introduce more characters!
Megatron doesn't do anything until the end? He is not threatening in any way, cause he's not around until the last 20 min of a 2.5 hr movie! He is frozen that entire time!
Starscream doesn't show up until 2 hours in to the movie? Why couldn't SS destroy the base at the beginning of the movie. Or something to give him more of a role. Instead they use throwaway guys or guys they made up.
The Prime / Megatron fight takes place primarily off screen? We wait 2.5 hours to see them to fight, then we get quick edits of multiple fights that we cant make out?
Prime is defeated by Megatron off screen and then Sam defeats Megatron? We cut back to the fight and Prime is down and Megatron is about to win? How did MT get the upper hand? Prime doesn't even save the day in HIS OWN MOVIE!
Prime says his immortal movie quote "One shall stand, one shall fall." Off screen!!!!!
Bumble bee cannot speak? He is one of the fave characters and the liaison between Sam and the TF's but cannot speak? Ratchet repairs his legs & speech at the end in 1 sec but couldn't fix his speech for 100yrs or whatever it was?
Megatron and Starscream look the same? People say if you look closely you can tell. Well how many times am I gonna see this movie before I can tell who is who? I didn't have to watch closely in any other movies to tell characters apart?
Soundwave is not in the movie?
Sam is not called Spike? Why didn't they make Sam's ebay name spike101 instead of ladiesman?
Bumble bee pees on someone?
We didn't see Bumble bee and Barricade fight? They are chasing each other and then camera pans away to Sam & Girl fighting a crappy looking robotic gremlin called "Frenzy". The camera cuts back to BB and he is standing in a pose over barricade? We don't know how BB defeated him?
Prime is clumsy and says "my bad"? Prime is the leader of the autobots, he shouldn't be clumsy and stupid. They hide around the corner at Sam's house instead of just going on the street and transforming to cars. They were studying humanity they said, for x years and don't get that? Prime should be awe inspiring, not the puppet of a script that molds his personality to whatever the individual scene demands (he makes a rousing speech about humanity here, he clumsily steps on a fountain there, etc.). Heck, for that matter, no character should be written like that. That's not how you write scripts!
The TF's have no personalities? They are not characters, they are big robots that fight. Even the Ninja turtles are different characters.
A mountain dew machine becomes a TF? Bay didn't like the original TF because he said it was a toy commercial, but they are doing a commercial for Ford, Mountain Dew and Nokia phones. Not to mention TOYS which are all over every toy department in every store.
Devastator is not a combiner? He's just a big stupid vehicle that gets destroyed in 1 sec. I don't even remember how he died.
There are much more problems with the movie than that, but I mean these are some big basic ones. I don't think I'm nit picking here, these are legitimate questions to ask yourself.
Even if you DON'T compare it to the original TF (not sure why you wouldn't compare it, since the movie is called TF, but whatever) the movie still sucks. You cant see the action, the final fight is a let down, and there's too much comedy. They don't take anything seriously anymore.