Incredibly Atrocious

Rating: 1/10 (6 October 2009)

I won't go into great detail as to why this movie is so bad, many others have done so before me.
If you're a fan of the original cartoon series, you'll be extremely disappointed. Some parts of the original story hold, others are missing, misinterpreted, or mistaken. The entire movie (I believe it's over 120 minutes) has less storyline than a single episode of the original series (around 20 minutes).
Glaring inconsistencies in the film include:
1) The main character kicks an 18 inch tall metal robot spider roughly 100 yards.
2) (I believe, didn't bother rewinding) Megatron refers to Starscream as Starspite, with a quote somewhere along the lines of "Starspite, you fail me again". Keeping in mind, 'Starspite' was created through some weird remote electronic process only 10 minutes prior in the film, and hadn't at that point played any part.
3) Optimus Prime has trouble doing anything but crush everything underfoot, yet has the finesse to pick up a pair of glasses between thumb and forefinger.
4) Said glasses lens width measure the thickness of OP's finger, making a human head rough the size of a tennis ball for OP's hand. Yet later in the film, OP holds a human in his hand, with legs and head just falling outside of his grip.
5) OP gets hurled into an office building full of humans, and plunges a whole 1-2 yards into the building. We're talking about 30-40 tonnes of metal flying at 40-70 miles per hour. I work in emergency services - this prospect is beyond ridiculous.
I'd like to congratulate Michael Bay on putting another nail not only in his coffin, but also the coffins of Jon Voight, Anthony Anderson (why oh why AA did you take this on), and John Turturro, whose script seems to have been written more for Steve Carrell.