Bad, yet Bay's Best!

Rating: 1/10 (4 July 2007)

Let me first say that I'm not one of those crybaby geeks Michael Bay was moaning about when the movie was still under production. I assume he was referring to those 40 year old hardcore G1 fans (virgins). I couldn't have cared less about Michael Bay staying true to the original story, so long as his adaptation was worth my time. Thus, my complaints have nothing to do with this film's "originality". Besides, its not his script.
THE BAD: The story was stupid. Is that succinct? I figured not, so please allow me to break it down for you without spoiling the movie. The character development was laughable. There are several Autobots (good guys) in the film who are nothing but a name, a voice and a "duty" as described by Optimus. A story is supposed to be driven by characters, not CGI creations. There is one battle scene in which it is difficult to distinguish the Autobots from one another, not to mention from their enemy Deceptacons. Am I supposed to be happy that one robot kicked the other? I don't know what side he's on.
Additionally, none of the characters were credible. Anthony Anderson is apparently the world's most brilliant hacker, yet he doesn't seem to act half-intelligent. The Secretary of Defense walks around without body guards. He actually wields a shotgun in one scene (I hope that doesn't spoil anything. Its actually in the trailer). To Michael Bay, characters are nothing more than a name, title and appearance.
The plot was laughable. I don't want to give anything away, but let me just say that it lacked the slightest trace of imagination.
The dialog was laughable. This follows naturally from the pathetic character development.
THE GOOD: If you're looking for a decent comedy, watch the first hour of this film, then walk out.
I have to give the lead actor kudos. He did well with the script he was handed.
THE NEUTRAL: The perspective needed work. While I agree with Bay's assessment that this film is about the human reaction to these robots, I find that he overcomplicated that reaction. I personally think he would have been better off limiting the perspective to the Transformers, Sam and his hot girl who's name I cannot recall for the life of me.
This is certainly Bay's finest work. He's not a bad acting director like George Lucas. I think his flaw is a lack of imagination or vision. He can't see all of the events of this story and put together a meaning. This is why many people have complained "I didn't feel anything" after seeing this film.
In summation, do not pay to see this in theaters. Wait for the DVD, but make sure you buy handle of Vodka to help the time pass. You'll need it.