Coming from a fan...terrible movie

Rating: 2/10 (16 July 2007)

I went into this movie with huge expectations and that could be why it was such a gigantic let down.
The first third of the movie was alright, as long as the transformers didn't speak. The interaction between Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox was cute and entertaining. I enjoyed the relationship between the boy and his car, and its rebellious nature was a perfect fit. However, once the Autobots uttered a single word, the movie fell into a downward spiral and that is when I started to cringe in my chair.
I know that the Transformers are all Aliens and not technically robots, but it's impossible to treat them that way. They give off that feeling because they did supposedly "learn" about earth's culture. They conveyed way too much feeling through their dialog and that made the movie super cheesy. I enjoy cheese, but this was not what the movie set out to be in the first place.
Other than the robots, there were also a few other lines by human characters that made me gag...so I'm not just picking on the poor transformers.
Other than that, the plot was very loose and skipped from one event to another (apparently with very little stringing either together). Once again, it was a movie where SE was supposed to be its saving grace.
Lastly, (something that also tied into the terrible dialog) there was too much to remind us of the importance of the transformers' cause. It's obvious that the Decepticons needed the Allspark to start some serious trouble, but we don't need to hear things that sound like "the fate of the world rests on us". Over-dramatics in robotic characters comes off as terrible!
I also found that the movie was a gigantic sellout, where GM had product placement through each of the Autobots. Every time an Autobot transformed, we were obviously reminded that their disguise consisted of some sort of GM vehicle. I am aware of the fact that the movie got huge revenue from this, but it totally ruined the feeling.
I have loved the original Transformers since I was a kid, I even had all the toys and action figures (including a mint Optimus Prime still in box). I always considered myself a fan, but since watching this movie, I have been left disillusioned; It left a terrible taste in my mouth and I am deeply saddened that such a great idea could turn into such a terrible movie.
If we could be reminded of 3 things by this movie, they are:
1) Michael Bay still makes bad films 2) Amazing special effects cannot rescue an sketchy plot 3) Too much obvious product placement is tacky
As well, 5 ways to summarize this movie: Cheesy/corny, over-dramatic, overly-epic, sell-out, long.