Dumb first half, fun second half

Rating: 6/10 (11 June 2009)

While no one will mistake Michael Bay for making something intelligent or well-acted, they were at least watchable the whole way through. But Bay, the God of summer action movies' (Jerry Bruckheimer) favorite director, has made his weakest film yet. The first half of the movie is so dumb it's nearly unwatchable (maybe its because Bruckheimer isn't producing...). The dialogue is bad, the characters do stupid things, and stuff sometimes just doesn't make sense. Fortunately, however, the movie gets better around the 45 minute mark. It's not smarter, but it's actually entertaining. This is especially crazy since Steven Spielberg is an executive producer. Then again, he "sold out" a while ago, and is now more of a producer than a director.
The story is completely absurd, but hey, it's a sci-fi movie, so of course it's going to be. Anyway, there are two warring alien races who are machines, the Autobots (the good guys) and the Decepticons (the bad guys). They bring their battle to earth because there's an all-powerful box called the Allspark there, and it could either bring peace, or destroy humanity and give the Decepticons control of the universe.
The acting is okay, I guess, but no one is developed at all. Half the people are only memorable because we know their faces from other movies. Shia LeBeouf is immensely likable, so we care about seeing him through the movie. He's no different here than in any other movie he's been in, but he has an irresistible charm that does the job. Surprisingly, Megan Fox is not around just for good looks. She can act, and nearly steals every scene she's in. Jon Voight is awful, however. It's one of the worst performances he's ever given. Josh Duhamel is adequate, but not memorable. Jon Turturro is fun to watch as the of-the-wall secret agent. Tyrese Gibson is completely wasted in this movie.
I really hate the Shaky Cam technique. For those of you who don't know, it's where the camera moves around a lot during an action scene so you can't get a good look at what's going on. Used effectively, it can heighten the suspense. "The Descent" is a case in point. The technique heightened the claustrophobia because it heightened the sense of being trapped in the dark and fighting monsters the characters couldn't see. But in "Transformers," there's no use for it. Michael Bay used it probably because it is the trend, and, taking a note from Jerry Bruckheimer, he's never one to pass up on something that has already made money before.
However, Bay is not a versatile director. He's good for filming action scenes, but not much else. He can't keep the material straight, and that's a problem because there are a lot of things going on simultaneously. With Bay's inadequate direction, characters come and go as the story demands it, and the rules that the film established are broken repeatedly and new ones are made. It's a mess.
However, I'd be lying if I said "Transformers" is a terrible movie. It's no masterpiece (it's not even especially good). But it's watchable.
Will I see the sequel? I guess, if I have nothing better to do. Because the film left me with that thought, I'll be generous with its rating.