Transformers Review

Rating: 1/10 (23 November 2007)

I first heard about this movie last year when it was being filmed, it would be the big Hollywood action summer film of 2007. This made me very excited and I also enjoyed the original teaser trailer. Then I finally saw this film in some old cinema during a holiday, I entered the theatre with a expectation. So, what did I get? I got a trashy, painfully written, horribly directed piece of garbage.
So basically, all the familiar Robots from the old series are back, but that does not help this awful movie. First of all, it is directed by Michael Bay, Who couldn't have done an even worse job on this film. He hasn't brought anything original back to the screen and, instead, has decided to rely on extremely poor editing and CGI to give us the action scenes. This could be his worse movie to date.
Performances on this film are not good, but that is the least of this film's issues. I mostly blame the film's script which is worth 30 minutes of a short movie into a 2 hour film making it very stretched. But thats okay! Mr. Bay has relied on senseless editing to make this film out of control. As a result, I almost fell asleep at an action scene (something that I have never done before).
Unlike some decent action flicks, the storyline to this film is incredibly unintelligent, and left me unimpressed. If there is one positive thing I could say about this film, it is that it has some good CGI effects, but is that all? Now this film has been rated PG-13, however that doesn't stop my 9-year old cousin from watching it. Now personally, I have no problem with this, but when it came to a extensive scene with sexual humour, I was caught completely off guard. I see absolutely no reason why this is this is in the finished cut, and to have that type of joke in a film that is based upon a huge kid-friendly franchise, this is extremely inappropriate. However if there is a age level which would appreciate this the most, it would be teenagers. Now judging by the story's sub-plot, this is kind of a teen action film, rather than a sensible family film, so with that said, this movie fails yet again.
Now I thought that The Simpsons Movie would disappoint me and that this movie would blow me away, amazingly, it did the complete opposite. Now unless you praise the film with good CGI, I can see absolutely no reason why anyone could enjoy this film, otherwise you have been brainwashed by cheesy Hollywood tripe. After the longest 2 hours of my life, my buttocks were ruined, my ears were bleeding and I had witnessed a film that was just unbelievably bad. Just bad! This film succeeded to disappoint me in every way. All I can say is if this film was made a decade back, and with a different film crew, this movie would be good. But I'm sorry, but they left this movie last, all the good action movies have been made, and only a good director could bring the old magic to life again. Now I have run out of words to say, so I will give you a simple overall: This film is too fast, yet too slow.