Working title: "Michael Bay's Transforming Robot Movie"

Rating: 3/10 (6 April 2009)

The Good- LOVED Optimus. Peter Cullen's voice gets me every time. Had good-fortune of meeting him at BotCon '97. Lovely fellow. Bumblebee cute, but different, a grown-up kick-a$$ Bumblebee...thumping the VDub was rude. Sam rubbing the dust from the Autobot symbol...Ooo. Cool how the dam looked like Sherman Dam...Ahh happy 80's memories. Starscream's entrance, awesome (poor Bumbles) The vending machine dude, cool. Coke kills... Loved the different storyline, (But not how Cybertron was destroyed & didn't look good) Liked it better than TFTM-It didn't kill everyone we loved. Hey we know Megatron's coming back. Loved the sound score. The effects, awesome, action spectacular. As much as I love Golden Compass, TF's effects were superior. Borne getting the sound Oscars? This'll teach Bay to omit Soundwave.
The Bad: 1) What stupid tool goes to see Transformers for humans? I liked Sam, SoldierBoy, Michaela... Hated the Hackers, Sam's muggle parents & creepy Sector7? Scenes could've been woven in for more screen time for the REAL starts of Transformers. Sam/Michaela should be Spike/Carly (Michaela's the girl form of Michael. Bay even messes the humans.) Or call the hacker Carly, wearing original blue suit. I'm Australian, but her accent was wrong for the film. I'm glad TF was filmed here. We got it before the US. (They should've digitally erased the Harbor Bridge in the background though...) Spoiled viewing pleasure. Great posters spoiled by 'Their War. Our World.' Again - We go to see Transformers for the Robots. If we wanted to see humans we'd go to the shopping mall.
2) The Decepticons! No, they're not the bad-where oh where were Soundwave, Thundercracker & Skywarp? This was SUPPOSED to be a G1 movie!! If Bay watched the series, he'd've seen names, colour schemes & heard the voices. None of his other G1 named characters were G1. Some voices sounded disjointed like a Terminator rip off.
The Ugly: 1) Megatron! Don't blast me! I care not Bay wanting a new look, (the fact that Megs sounded different oddly worked) Hugo did a wicked job. "You failed me yet again, Starscream..." Ooo shivers. Ahh the good 'ol days, back on Cybertron...Megs was cool, but a version of Megatron, not the REAL one. If the Wizards at ILM wave magic wands, say "Feraverto," transforming 1984 Optimus into new Optimus, there's NO reason they can't for Megatron. I've heard arguments of Frank Welker's voice not being right. WTF?! Is this TF or Bay's ego trip?! I heat They asked Frank to phone lines in. He didn't get a studio appearance--clearer & with decent voice changing equipment there would've been no problem. Sigh...takes a fan to think of these things.
2) Optimus Prime's mouth-plate down...Planet of the Apes look did FA. "Good Grief!" A bizarre tribute to Optimus Primal? That's just Prime!...Not!
3) If Starscream saw it, he'd up-chuck his Energon. His robot mode looked like a friggin' ape. Jet mode cool, (though I adore the original F-15) I hope his "I live to serve you, Lord Megatron," was sarcasm. If not, Bay, you've a lot to learn.
Ratchet's eyesore colour scheme...There's Ratchet & Starscream toys in movie & G1 colours, another Bay money scheme. Not happy, Jazz! (An Aussie joke) The robots had expressive faces & voices in the original. I realise some VO actors have crossed over, bless them. At least Bay could've made the new actors emulate the characters close to the original. Fans can do better. No offence, Charles Adler, great G1 Silverbolt, but they could have made him do Starscream more G1. The battle scene? I'm wondering who the slag's who. Very embarrassing-- hence Bay, a lesson here--COLOUR SCHEMES!! Maybe he's colour blind?
Optimus, Bumblebee & Jazz- correct coloring. Jazz, spiffy mode, miss the Porsche but Pontiac Solstice cool! But he sounded terrible. Ironhide looked like a gorilla & the voice of one to match. Did Bay write TF after watching King Kong while roaring drunk? Now all's said and done, I loved having a new TF movie, seeing people TF mad, playing with toys, wearing the clothes like the 80's. I hear the next one's to have more robots, including Soundwave. Barricade?? Not even remotely G1. AT least Bay's taken the hint putting Arcee in, realised there be girl fans, did you? What of Elita One & Thundercracker!? Movie style toys of them exist, why no presence? At least Thunder has the right colours, but hulking robot mode leaves a lot to be desired. The Seekers were slender in the original series. Perhaps by TF3, Bay'll realise he's making TRANSFORMERS, established characters and fanbase. If he wants to do robot movies, fine, but if you make Transformers, you make Transformers.
As much as I've panned, it had its cool, funny moments and a great atmosphere. Prime was firm, but gentle, but kick-ass, just like the old days. I liked the way he treated Sector7 like obnoxious kids. Calling Megatron "Brother" made me cry...I knew it was Megatron who would fall. (Without spoilers/ reviews) Optimus' ending quote was inspirational. *Hugs Optimus.* Go away, Bay. I'm not hugging you...Well if you do Megatron, Soundwave & Starscream right & put Thunder in. It was great how Starscream escaped at the end. Optimus saved the Universe & didn't die. That's a first...so I don't completely hate you, Michael;) Prime saved a piece of the All Spark, interested how this will fare & hope Jazz'll be fixed. You can't kill the tooth fairy! Let's hope there be better voices, colour in the next & that Soundwave looks & sounds right or I'll go ape...
*Jinn Holds up scorecard* Peter as Optimus, a TF revival, visuals & action- 10. Too many humans...minus 3 ...Voices/colours wrong minus another 4.
As for girl fans, one argued Sam was cuter, the other SoldierBoy. They asked me who I thought was best looking. And I told them... Optimus!