Pffft, Out of Touch (spoilers)

Rating: 4/10 (6 February 2009)

Look I will give this movie a four cause of the special effects, and lebeoufs performance, but thats where it ends for me. Every 30 seconds, there was something that made me think, michael bay is a fraud and probably never watched Transformers in his life. For starters my favorite Transformer growing up was Bumblebee, known for transforming into a yellow VW bug. So you can imagine my excitement when they are at the car dealership, and I see that yellow bug sitting there, but this fraud of a transformer fan pulls arguably the biggest slap in the face to any Bumblebee, and IMO real transformer fan. Instead of using a yellow VW Bug, they decide to have it on the screen, and use a Yellow mustang sitting RIGHT NEXT TO IT?!?!?!.
OK so my mind is still open at this point, I can't base a movie off of one problem, that may have been more personal to me then others. Well the next major problem, is this movie is based around this pair of glasses and an item called the All Spark........ummmmmm seriously, what in gods name does that have to do with anything Transformers. Well I am still open, but then it turns from a bitter taste in my mouth, to the horrible feeling of needing to puke.
The whole movie, is revolving around this all-spark and a pair of glasses, yet 90% of the movie is about lebouf's character, hardly anything to do with the Transformers themselves which is what the movie is friggin named. There is no emotional attachment when jazz dies, Optimus Prime has a total of about 50 words in the movie, and all the while there is no sign of megaton.
But then they introduce Megatron, and now its time to get this movie going, 1 hour and 15 minutes late, but still its time for Megatron to handle business. I am expecting starscream to be by his side, Megatron to transform and if not him transform into the laser rifle, transform into a giant missile launcher, or some weapon to wreak havoc upon the autobots. Sadly no he is a JET, he is the form of which starscream takes throughout the entire series. Look I understand having Megatron being a giant gun doing nothing would be stupid, but thats the least they could have done for a fan of the cartoon since they decided to butcher everything else.
Then they take this dramatic approach that no matter what happens a human cannot die, and let Bumblebee get kidnapped and taken away(yes 25 humans are able to incapacitate, and ship off a Transformer robot to some secret facility, where they also had been hiding Megatron too), yet throughout the entire series, they were fighting and blowing up anything and everything. Now I know what you are thinking, if they did that it would defeat the purpose cause they never showed the people dying in the cartoon, thus they were defending human lives. Well no you are wrong, what defeats the purpose, is the end of the movie, when they decide hey, we could've helped our friend but instead did nothing. Where as later when the end of the movie comes and Megatron is free, its time to just barrel through traffic, forget about saving human lives, and each and everyone of them destroy and pillage the city, when its really only prime and megatron fighting.
Oh and the whole reason they are on earth, wasn't because of a war on cybertron that led to them crashing into earth. No the decepticons just beat the royal crap out of the autobots, and then go, continuing looking for the All-Spark. So the autobots decide they have to get to it first and magically get to earth hundreds of years after megatron finds it and is frozen on earth. Thats right, they don't all get there cause they crash on earth, the decepticons land there years before and failing to get it, and suddenly the autobots just magically show up.......seriously.
Michael Bay, you have destroyed, and then burned my childhood memories with a torch of smelly crap.