They Fought For Justice And For Billy Zane

Rating: 7/10 (20 February 2006)

Whatever happened to Billy Zane? I mean that guy was going to be huge, Macaulay Culkin huge. Well anyways, Tombstone is the classic western tale of the Earp brothers seeking an early retirement in the SouthWest I think, and upon finding it decide to clip on their badges one last time in the name of justice. The evil Curly Bill (that doesn't sound so evil) and his red rag gang run amok in the Earp's newly found retirement heaven. Soon things get out of control, a few deaths are involved, and vengeance is sought, then found, then forgotten just in time for retirement #2, which costars Dana Delany. Crazy run-on sentences abound and commas come flyin' from out of nowhere. The movie itself is very solid and tells a cromulent story that is sure to embiggen the hearts of all who witness it. The acting is darn good especially Russell and Kilmer who definitely steal the show. Billy Zane however is still missing. If you have any information on his whereabouts please contact the Unwanted Actors Outreach Center, Gary Busey will be standing by to take your phone calls, and yes he will try and talk to you for a long time because he has been forgotten by the general public and needs your attention. Tragic isn't it.