Shoot Me Now

Rating: Null/10 (6 July 2011)

Plot: A lawman and his two brothers move to a frontier town in the Old West to seek their fortunes but end up fighting a local gang called "The Cowboys".
I must admit, I'm impressed that a film made for this much money could feature such patently false moustaches. It's like Kurt Russell has the business end of a broom poking out from his top lip. The film itself is a two hour bore-fest enlivened by a single great threat (to turn a man's head "into a canoe"). Val Kilmer steals every scene with his dying gunfighter but only because everything else is even less interesting. The gun fights are pretty standard, the history isn't very accurate and there is a love story that is so boring that I began to sink into my couch every time I saw petticoats approaching. I kept watching and expecting something, anything, to happen which might prove why my American friends raved about this. I've just decided that they are either liars, wouldn't know good taste if it bit them or are just happy to have a Western that isn't about noble Indians or revisionist history. As a Limey I'd recommend reading J.T. Edson instead. He's fast, fun and he taught me how to cheat at cards.