Reputedly a farce, it is more accurately described as awful.

Rating: 1/10 (21 September 2012)

Having survived the disappointment of Hope Springs, I crossed to the next screening room confident that my evening's viewing would substantially improve.
Woody Allen has continued his filmic tour of Europe in his 40-something cinema outing as director with To Rome With Love. It's a tour that has introduced his work to new audiences, seen him tread new ground, particularly with the murderous Match Point, and given us some engaging, funny, thoroughly enjoyable films like Vicky Cristina Barcelona and last year's delightful Midnight in Paris.
To Rome With Love is not one of those films.
Reputedly a farce, it is more accurately described as 'awful'. Attempting to weave multiple plot lines through a city apparently filled with love, it manages to lack the quirky charm of Annie Hall, will never garner the plaudits of Hannah and Her Sisters and falls woefully short of the entertainment value of even Match Point. It's not quite a stinker it's just No, who am I kidding? It positively reeks! I like Woody Allen more when he's not acting. Unfortunately, in To Rome With Love there are 2.5 people playing the standard Woody Allen role: Allen, himself, who performs like a knitted, woolen toy that has been through a washing machine cycle a good 60 degrees too hot, Jesse Eisenberg, who does a far better (read: annoying) job of being Woody Allen, and Roberto Benigni who seems unsure whether to give us a third Woody Allen impersonation or reprise his performance from Life is Beautiful.
Allen plays Jerry, the father of Ellen Page's Monica, though he looks more like her grandfather and, at 77, is old enough to be her great grandfather while his wife, Phyllis (Judy Davis), isn't much of an improvement. Poor girl, she must have been severely bullied at school. But don't exert yourself feeling too sorry for Monica, she's purported to be an absolutely stunning Venus in human form and so engaging that men throw themselves at her feet, or so Jack (Eissenberg) and his girlfriend, Sally (Greta Gerwig) believe. Sally believes it so much she invites her to stay and spend time alone with Jack despite the warnings of John (Alec Baldwin). None of them seem to have realized this is Ellen Page we're talking about! Meanwhile, Antonio has brought his new bride, Milly, to Rome to meet his aunts and uncles who may give him a job but he inexplicably pretends his wife is actually Anna (Penélope Cruz) who actually earns her living on her back.
Then Hayley meets, and moments later, falls in love with Michelangelo whose father, Giancarlo, likes to sing in the shower. And then there's Leopoldo (Benigni) who Have you lost the will to live yet? Maybe it looked funny (or even fun) on paper, Allen certainly savours (milks) every line he evidently thinks is funny, but actually To Rome With Love is akin to watching eight year olds improvise for the most part and is always far less amusing.
I tried gnawing my leg off after thirty minutes to see if it was more fun. It wasn't but it was a close run thing.
In the audience of six, the silence at the 'funny' parts was resounding and, judging from the comments I overheard as we all scuttled out before the credits, all of us endured the full 112 minutes because we couldn't quite believe it would be that bad all the way through.
It was. You have been warned.