Disappointing

Rating: 5/10 (18 October 2013)

Woody Allen gives us 4-stories and performs in one of them. 1. A very good opera singer is discovered. 2. John (Alec Baldwin) appears and disappears almost at will and, at times, proclaims what will and won't happen if certain actions are/are not taken. 3. A newlywed passes a prostitute off as his wife. 4. Roberto Benigni plays Leopoldo who is a favorite target of paparazzi
None of the stories are related as in a CRASH scenario. Sorry.
The movie moves along nicely, but only because the scenery around Rome is so captivating, and Allen lets us see many historical buildings. The stories we see have no substance, no pull and we wonder why they are there and why was this made.
The only good line I found was when someone said of (prostitute)Anna (Penelope Cruz) in a very tight, and obscenely seductive red dress when they were going on a tour of the Vatican: Will they let her in? That was it folks. See? That was the only line I chuckled at. Anna was pretending to be Millie, Antonio's (Alessandro Tiberi) wife due to another mix-up and misunderstanding.
Well, you ask where was(newlywed) Antonio's wife Millie? She got lost in Rome and runs into a huge movie star who wants her opinions on things, but in his hotel room. Ahhh! See?
Allen,as Jerry, finds Giancarlo (played by opera singer: Fabio Armiliato) his future In-Law, and who he feels is an exceptional opera singer, but can only perform in a shower. Give me a break. And, it is here that the opera singing goes on for way too long at times. My uncle used to sing opera in the truck as we went somewhere. I would always tell him: I think I heard a wounded animal out there.
John (Alec Baldwin) appears to Jack (Jesse Eisenberg) who lives with Sally (Greta Gerwig) but has eyes for her friend Monica (Ellen Page) and John seems to tag along with them wherever they go. Sometimes others address him, but at other times it seems he is only visible to Jack. He constantly gives forth his knowledge of life. Was this some form of "magic" that was so crucial to MIDNIGHT IN Paris? We were not amused.
And, Roberto Benigni (yes, you all wondered where he went ) as Leopoldo who is the target of the paparazzi for a reason explained by his one-time chauffeur: they want someone to be famous and they make him so and follow him everywhere. Well, something like that. See, no pull. And, these scenes are clever in the beginning, but go on for too long and become annoying. Not funny. Just annoying.
When we see a Woody Allen movie we expect some comedic lines whether the movie is a drama or a comedy that he writes and directs. What we have here are very bland slices of life that have no relevance, hence no pull, but we keep watching because we feel something good will come along and make all the blandness worthwhile. Didn't happen. Yes, this was disappointing. (5/10)
Violence: No. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: One F-bomb spoken by Monica