I'm not really a religious man

Rating: 1/10 (21 March 2002)

Generally I'm very much agnostic when it comes to heaven and hell, the afterlife, what you do in this lifetime decides what your afterlife will be like. This film just about changed my mind.
You see.... what scares me is that IF there is indeed a heaven and hell then at this time in my life I'm not quite sure which one I'll be going to....That doesn't sound so scary you say. Let me elaborate..I believe that if there is indeed a hell, then for me it would consist of watching an endless loop of a grown woman standing on the bow of a ship proclaiming "I can fly!" and a big thank you from myself goes out to the makers of this film for providing just the source of that punishment for me when I do eventually end up in the afterlife.
Ahhh thats off my chest now. So what can I say about Titanic?
James Cameron. I am actually what you'd call a fan of his work. Terminator, Aliens, Strange Days, The Abyss. Much of the work he has had a hand in I rate as some of my favourite movies ever. So what possessed him to do this?????
Kate Winslet and Billy Zane. These are two of my favoured actors..What possessed them to do this??? If you want to see Kate Winslet in a GOOD film try to find "Heavenly Creatures" which is indeed an excellent film. Likewise for Billy Zane get a hold of "Dead Calm".
In essence this film is 2 + hours of cliched, Low IQ, utterly awful, Mills & Boon romance that is so sugarcoated it's likely to send any diabetic person watching it into a fit. The ONLY saving grace of this film is the final hour after the Titanic has struck the iceberg and then proceeds to sink which is when we are treated to the James Cameron we know and love. It's just a damn shame that to get to this part I had to sit through 2 hours+ of a film that made my eyes bleed.
The sheer amount of money this film has made at the box office as well as the quite high rating it receives here on IMDB is truly a testament to the old adage that there's no accounting for (bad) taste.
Overall
The prospect of hammering rusty nails through my manhood is infinitely more appealing than that of watching the first 2 hours of this film ever again.
3 stars out of 10 (solely for the last hour but having to sit through the first 2 hours of this atrocity to get to this stage is simply unforgiveable).