Terrible, shame on Cameron

Rating: 2/10 (6 November 1998)

Probably the worst movie I've ever seen... after Death Stalker and Beyond The Door-2... and all the world goes bonkers about it?! Spielberg's Titanic is a very good movie for it has both the remarkable plot and superb actor's performance (due to limited space I won't go into comparison of these two movies further although I'd love to). I can't say the same about Cameron's so-called "masterpiece". Firstly, it's foundation, the raising of the safe and restoration of the drawing, is pretty shaky for pronounced absence of credibility. Any expert would confirm that a piece of paper (not even a photograph) exposed to sea water for 84 (?!) years can not remain undamaged (after the seaweeds were cleaned off its surface).
Secondly, it is my understanding that each shot has to make sense. Here the camera fixes on captain's cup with a lemon slice in it and... nothing happens. Let alone floating plates (when the water floods the kitchen); everyone knows that porcelain sinks. It appears that after spending 300 mln to build the true-size model of Titanic Cameron didn't have any money left to buy expensive crockery, that's why stacks of cheap thick plates fall from shelves and break.
Besides above technical blunders which went unnoticed by rapturous audience, the plot leaves much to be desired, let alone striking age (and weight) difference between Winslet and DiCaprio. Apparently, Cameron lacked dramatic material; his characters talk and behave as if they lived nowadays. I really doubt that at the beginning of the century anyone expressed his agitation and excitement the way DiCaprio's character, Jack did aboard Titanic. It's also unclear from where DiCaprio's character got a tuxedo. I didn't see him borrowing it from the laundry.
Naturally, neither DiCaprio no Winslet received Oscar for their apology for actor's art. It's beyond my understanding how with all this Titanic received more Oscars than Gone With The Wind, as if unmatched performance of Lee-Gable duet can be bracketed with Winslet-DiCaprio's feeble attempts to act. Faces of actors playing lovers are lit up, their voices and gestures express their feelings. Here we see spiritless and non-expressive mugs. So where is Romeo and Juliet aboard Titanic, what should apprise the audience of their love? That they copulate on the back seat of the car? It's worthy of note that they do it quickly and without long verbal preludes, just like in modern America. This must be the explanation why Titanic became box-office hit of all times; the characters don't perform any epics of heroism or demonstrate superhuman physical or moral traits. Girls come to the movies with their boyfriends, watch Winslet and DiCaprio and think: "Just like you and me!" (I'm talking about the back seat of the car). Phenomenal success of Titanic might be of interest for psychiatrists as another mass hysteria. Or indication of love is that the characters spit overboard? Incidentally this episode is the only one where Winslet and DiCaprio succeeded, for it didn't require any actor's art.
It should be also mentioned that in the scenes shot at the main hall with a staircase, while the main characters rush about in panic, extras in life-vests playing passengers just stand and chat peacefully; this is a crying nonsense under given circumstances. Rose's action when all of a sudden she runs out like mad and jumps overboard looks absolutely unmotivated. I'm also curious as to how Jack and Rose can run up to neck in freezing water and even dive, although it's known that a human can't last in a +2o C water longer than 10 minutes. Much later, as if he just remembered that he's an ordinary mortal, Jack suddenly froze and drowned, yet he had time for a sentimental goodbye to squeeze tears out of the sensitive audience.
When a real natural calamity takes place people don't have time for melodramatic speeches and oaths; once they lost each other in panic-stricken crowd, they only find dead bodies of their beloved ones at the end. Only cancerous have enough time to bid farewell to their relatives.
I must be a bad spectator for despite hundreds of millions of dollars invested in Titanic not a single teardrop welled up in my eyes. Feelings, emotions, and sympathy can not be purchased. You can't force yourself to worry when the plot is transparent, actor's art is none, the dialogues are banal and not a single phrase is remarkable. By no means I'm insensible, I worried about Thelma and Louise and cried at the end when their car flies off the precipice. Even Terminator lowering himself in melted metal or Rambo sobbing on Colonel's shoulder provoke more sympathy than all the characters in Titanic.
Obviously, this year's Academy Awards ceremony's motto was "To catch up with and pass Ben-Gur". In its aspiration to give all the possible awards to Titanic the Academy came to an amusing incident: "extracted from naphthalene" Gloria Stuart, who only takes 10 minutes of screen time, was nominated for Oscar and, what is the most ludicrous, seriously hoped to receive the cherished statuette!
As was to be expected, Titanic received all the awards except for the main parts. It is incomprehensible how can Titanic be a best movie of the year if none of the actors received Oscar? Actor's art is the very component that makes a movie. Then what's so good about Titanic? The question hangs in mid-air. The Academy judges, all together singing a laudatory ode to Titanic and extolling the director, James Cameron, didn't give attention to other, not less worthy of note, movies. Remarkably melodious song "How do I live without you" from Con Air was undeservedly offended. At least this award the Academy could have given to someone else, especially as this soundtrack was way better than doleful howls of Scottish dawdling coupled with Celine Dion.
The only Oscar deserved by Titanic is the one for special effects. Being of no value in terms of artistry, this movie can be a visual aid for studying filming techniques. I find it hard to believe that such distinguished director as James Cameron, who did Terminator and True Lies, really thought that Titanic deserved all the awards it received. At least absurdly sounds his boastful allegation, borrowed from DiCaprio's character: "I'm a king of the world!". The phrase from well-known tale is on tip of my tongue: "The king is naked!"