A post-pubescent comment

Rating: 3/10 (26 March 1999)

Dear GOD, this movie amazed me. What amazed me more were the sheep that bought into it, and the little lambs that were allowed in. This is a movie with nudity, sex, violence and some very disturbing images that are not appropriate for young children.
Ok, now on to the review. My friend dragged me to this over the march break last year, and I am only now getting past my disappointment to discuss it reasonably. To all those who think it is the greatest movie of all time I would love to know what your criteria is. Do you go by acting? Outside of Kathy Bates and some minor players, there is none. I got about as much emotion out of Leo as I did out of my hampster in her final days. Winslet was bareable, although I cannot comprehend her bearing all, unless James felt that the teen-age male was an important demographic.
Now you cannot completely fault the actors, because the script was hardly anything to shout about (unless you are the ranting and raving type.) "I have seen the iceberg and now I see it in your eyes," could not be any more sappy. It was full of little bits of dialogue that were laughably out of historical context, and the characters could not be more cliched... which brings me to the story itself.
It was as if someone took all the period pieces about class disparity and jammed them through a meat grinder. All the juice (ie. plot and intrigue) leaked out of the bottom, and a squishy, messy, mixed up movie was the result. The kind, young, talented pauper falls in love with the rich, testy, unhappy girl who is betroethed to the evil industrialist. Joan Collins would be impressed...
Basically, if you want loud noise, and don't mind a few tits, plus you can survive 2 hours of boredom interspersed, this movie is worth it. Otherwise, you haven't hit puberty yet, or you really need to watch some real movies, like Citizen Kane or On the Waterfront.