A two dimensional turkey.

Rating: 6/10 (28 July 1999)

Sorry to pour cold water (if you'll forgive the fun) on this Oscar winning tribute to the programmers art, but this film is too long, too wooden and captures the atmosphere of Edwardian England to the same degree as Dick Van Dyke mimics our accent. I have no doubt that the special effects are very clever and took people an awful lot of hours and megabytes...but where do they take us? A computer generated ship with generated seagulls looks exactly that. The sets are spectacular yet manage to scream out that they are expensive sets rather than that they are the inside of a living working ship. And don't get me started on the levels of my indifference towards the talentless Mr.DiCaprio who bestrides the film in the same way as most children do when stumbling into a grown-ups party. Watch A Night To Remember if you want to feel the real emotion of the Titanic's sinking and watch this if you want to spend three hours seeing Mr.Cameron trying to show us how clever he is...and failing.