An insult to the ART of filmmaking and to filmgoers

Rating: 1/10 (2 October 1998)

This review was made by my daughter Dana (York Univ., Toronto, Canada).
Titanic: A Double Tragedy
I had initially refused to see Titanic on general principle, not wanting to participate in this blatant celebration of Hollywood's most devoted suckers. However, out of sheer boredom perhaps, I finally consented to the pleas of my friends and paid the eight Dollars to attend. Little did I know that what awaited me in that darkened room was worse than anything I could ever imagine. In case you've been asleep for 2 years, Titanic, directed by James Cameron, mildly resembles a love story that supposedly took place upon that ill-fated oceanliner, the Titanic. The premise for the film is typical. Guy meets Girl. Girl is from higher social class and will not succumb to Guy's advances. Finally, after much personal anguish and deep thought, she gives in to the overwhelming emotion, and together they fight the oppressive opinions of the people around them. It is by no means an original story line. We have all seen this numerous times before with alternate settings. What actually happens in Titanic's three agonizing hours, against the backdrop of that historical tragedy, is the most ridiculous waste of money I have ever been victim to. The characters in the story were, in a word, ridiculous. I sat back watching in disbelief as the one-dimensional personalities produced tears in my fellow viewers. Leonardo DiCaprio, that pre-pubescent heartthrob of seventh graders everywhere, took on the role of the Good Guy. Similarly, there were others to fit the roles of Good Girl, and of course, Bad Guy, all of whom overacted to an embarrassing extent. With the aid of the outrageously simple dialogue, the "star" cast acted not unlike an elementary school drama ensemble. I sat through this film in a constant state of pain as the film gradually deteriorated. "It has to get better," I thought to myself, dodging the wet tissues that were being passed through the audience. Titanic, unfortunately, did not get better. Despite the film's numerous attempts at evoking emotion, Mr. DiCaprio's nauseating performance and Ms. Winslet's complete lack of talent were the only things that managed to raise goosebumps on my arms. Riding the bus on the way home, I again tried to find any salvation for the film. I temporarily consoled myself with thoughts of the technical aspects. The special effects involving the sinking of the ship were mildly amusing. However, that too was quickly obliterated when I realized that most of the effects had been created using miniatures and an over-sized bathtub. I continue to hear people rant and rave about how great Titanic was, only confirming my suspicion that the majority of the North American population are, like the film's heroes, shallow and easily amused. Furthermore, I was sickened as I recalled the numerous Oscars that were handed out to the man responsible for this disaster, Mr. James Cameron. Many are convinced that he is a wonderful human being. After all, he refused to accept a salary for his work. I believe that he did this out of shame rather than personal sacrifice. Naturally, the fame and recognition he received as a result of this film makes all his future endeavors instant hits. I cringe at the thought. Everyone behind the release of Titanic should retire immediately as it is an insult to the art of filmmaking and to filmgoers throughout the world. Titanic, its cast, and the billions of Dollars wasted on its production need to be studied very carefully. Scholars everywhere need to forever use it as an example of how to make a film void of interest, originality, and self-respect.