It does not rock my boat...

Rating: 2/10 (29 November 2006)

This film really does smell of cheese. Before I describe the overpowering smell of cheese i must point out a few things... First I watched it for the first time in 2006, but maybe that only let the cheese mature. Secondly I watched it in Russia which subsequently meant that it was dubbed. But before i am attacked by fans for bothering to write an opinion about it even though i saw a dubbed version of it, which obviously spoils any movie good or bad, i have to say this time i was glad that a film was dubbed. I understood the translation and was glad to be spared hearing the ridiculous script from the actors, which could of made it unbearable but the dubbing at least made it comical.
It is a typical love story that could be used in any film situation, but this time it exploited the titanic's tragedy. I am not knocking any romance films or anything and appreciate that it is an extremely popular genre. But is came across as so basic and predictable i wished it was in the hands of David Lynch or Ken Russell, to "liven" things up a little.
The sinking of the ship was the best bit, and kind of exciting too, but with that amount of money you could probably make a film about pulling the bath plug out your bath and make it look epic. However even the actual sinking, dieing and drowning had the sugar coated Hollywood feel. Which came across in casting and acting too, but i won't even go there. Back to the cheese factor, the ICING on the cake (sorry) was the sound track. Celine Dion whatever you do and however you do it, you just stink.
To rate this movie I will give it three out of ten. Why? Firstly because DiCaprio dies, nice touch. Though i do acknowledge that he is a good actor most of the time its just the films character. Secondly because Kate Winslet is so fine, with or without her clothes on. If fact her outfits though out the film are excellent. Third point goes to the absurd amount of money spent on the sinking bit which subsequently made me think for the first time about how truly horrific it must of actually been in real life, which was considerably worse than what we see in this easy to watch catastrophe. However we have to go minus a point because of the truly pathetic modern day tear jerker grandma spills her heart out bits. Boo hoo.