The classic sample of cinematic junk with pretty wrapping...

Rating: 1/10 (28 August 2000)

I must be the only person I know that does not gush when the title "Titanic" is mentioned. I sat through the whole movie wondering if I'd have been better off staying home and doing laundry, and I've come to the conclusion, that yes, I probably would have been.
This movie is recycled cr*p. They took the classic "Rich girl loves poor boy" story, tagged on one of the world's largest tragic events, stuck in a pretty face or two (forget about acting ability -- Kate dear, you were better in Sense and Sensibility), ten bazillion dollars for a budget and bingo, you've got yourself a blockbuster that attracts hoards of lip glossed, hip huggered, chunky heeled, Britney Spears listening, glitter wearing teenaged girls. All for the sake of a pre-pubescent Leonardo DiCaprio (c'mon! He looks like he's twelve). It saddens me that something as shallow as a teen heart throb can elevate a piece of junk like Titanic to what some call the best movie of all time. Argh!
The only part of this movie that actually made me stop and look were the beautiful CGI effects. However prettiness and expensive effects doth not a good movie make. Other than that, spitting off a ship and contrived chases with guns do not appeal to me much as good cinema. I'd recommend everyone to see it at least once, but not for the sake of seeing a good movie, but to remind society that we're too used to being served 2 for $1 cans of tuna that were prepared for the cost of caviar. It's still just tuna.