"Of course, the experience of it was somewhat different."

Rating: 6/10 (26 December 2000)

WARNING: REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

This is one of the most realistic films I've ever seen, a modern day classic that allows for drama by having the lead character tell the tale in flashback, letting you know she lives till the end. This framing sequence neatly comes back three times, and we get a voiceover, cannily breaking up the narrative.
It turns out the elderly lady was Kate Winslet, a rich society girl engaged to the boo-hiss pantomime villain played by Billy Zane. Well, he is English, after all. Anyway, this upper class madam soon falls for a cocky brat with a head shaped like a turnip, and starts performing activities generic of her class. Like spitting over the side of the ship and getting her boobs out. I did give the movie 8/10, but that was for Kate's mighty chest, rather than the film itself. Mind you, it's all quite understandable as Jack has an enticing line in fortune-cookie platitudes, spouting lines like: "When you got nuthin', you got nuthin' to lose" and "Make each day count."
Where it really succeeds is in its accessibility, like many Cameron movies. Rather than confusing the issue with all that characterisation nonsense, we have dialogue that is functional and neat stereotypes like the Irish crew that love to do nothing more than dance a merry jig. Whuy, it be straight out o' a advert four de Morphees. And just like it, they're not bitter. Well, they're the US's spiritual kinfolk, aren't they? Even the Scots and Welsh help a little bit, but the English can't wait to shoot the passengers. And only the Americans are truly heroic.
Perhaps the stumbling block is the superb realisation of the ship itself. To correct this error, Cameron gives us some ropy CGI, from the background where Rose attempts suicide, to the iceberg, which is as two dimensional as Billy Zane's character. Apparently the cheap effects came about because, despite costing $200 million to make, over half went on Zane's mascara. Ooo, he's a real villain, he is! Another wrong foot is casting the RSC Jonathan Hyde. The thought of having a decent actor in the film is absolutely abhorrent, yet luckily it's not a mistake the director makes twice.
But the masterstroke is the running time. Where a 90 or 120 minutes duration might feel just about right, Cameron drags it out to over three hours. Genius. Other great moments include the constant references to the ship not being able to sink, and the cod English accents. Any old director worth his salt could cast realistic accents, but giving it a touch of the Van Dykes is a feat of remarkable post-modernism. In fact, the only thing the film needed to take it to the very peak of perfection was a dreary love ballad at the end by Celine Dion. Oh dear.