Sit right back and tell you a tale about a terrible film...

Rating: 3/10 (14 August 1999)

Blech. This movie cheapens both Hollywood and the audience. In fact all it needed was the Backstreet Boys (or one of their equally talentless clones) to make it the perfect piece of pre-adolescent garbage.
Qualities: 1. The sets and costumes 2. Kathy Bates, although she is wasted
Flaws: 1. The single worst script ever written for a period film. The dialogue seems akward for the 1990s let alone the 1910s. 2. The para-acting. I say para-acting because in some places I am fairly sure that in some seens somebody just picked up a cardboard cut-out of Leo and shook it around. 3. Special effects. The boat was great, but was not simulated. Watch it again and you will see how poorly the blue screening is done. You can actually see that people's faces have been pasted onto dummies in spots. Almost as poorly done as that awful Micheal Keaton snow-man movie. 4. Story. How cliched can a movie get? Charming poor boy rescues rich disillusioned young rich lady betrothed to obnoxious rich man. Gee, how original. I also found it amusing that the Cpt. chose to remain on in the movie when last I heard he got into a lifeboat in real life. 5. That miserable old lady. Why does everyone applaud old ladies who show emotions in movies? They can't help, they are covered with wrinkles. She couldn't act her way out of her own walker. 6. The earring.
(If you wish to direct a bitter response to me, please stick it in your a**, anyone who disagrees with me is either still pre-pubescent or really needs to develop some emotional stability.