Ship of Caricatures

Rating: 1/10 (15 June 2008)

I have always been fascinated by the story of the Titanic, because here is a real story that really happened and was perfect for eventual translation to the big screen. And with today's special effects techniques it was truly possible to recreate a vanished ship and a vanished era.
Instead we got: "Titanic--Ship of Caricatures"
There is enough true history in the story of Titanic for some real drama and tension. Instead we get two 1990's Hollywood teens transported back to 1912. We get burlesque chases, a cardboard villain, and every poor-boy-meets-rich-girl cliché' that was ever used in a story. And of course the basic theme of "Rich People=All Bad---Poor People=All Good". And all brought to an end by some diva warbling a song that has nothing to do with the story.
I appreciate a good love story as much as the next person, and there have been good believable ones in film. However in this one we are asked to believe that a girl in 1912, who has lived a sheltered life and no real knowledge of the world, will in the space of 36 hours or so:
1) fall for a third-class pretty-boy 2) pose naked for him 3) have sex with him in a car 4) spit in her fiancé's face 5) tell her mother to shut up 6) jump BACK onto a sinking ship
Awwww....c'mon Mr. Cameron!
And Cal is such a cardboard villain that about the only thing Cameron didn't do in the movie to make that any clearer to the audience is hang a sign around his neck saying "VILLAIN" in big letters and definitely establish that he likes to eat puppies for dinner.
DiCaprio is too girlish and prettyboy looking to be a real leading man. And Winslet's acting ability is minimal.
If you took the story of Titanic out of Cameron's script, you would have a movie that wouldn't even make it to the teenage hour on Lifetime cable.
Not that the movie was a total waste. It was great to see the Titanic as it must have really looked back in 1912, and the sinking was riveting and realistically portrayed.
But "the best movie ever" as so many on this site proclaim? The best picture Oscar? Maybe for the "Leonardo is soooo cute!" types.
Just remember it was the Titanic that hit an iceberg...not Beverly Hills 90210.