You mean it sinks?!?

Rating: Null/10 (7 March 2003)

When I was in university, I remember seeing "Jurassic Park", and discussing it with a friend. I commented on the loose plot, the silly dialogue, and the fact that it was a poor adaptation of a fairly entertaining novel. My friend's comment was, "Yeah, but DUDE, you got to watch DINOSAURS!" True enough, and for that, the film was well worth the cash.
"Titanic" is much the same. The plot is the same old stuff you've seen before - poor boy meets rich girl promised to rich boy, rich girl falls for poor boy, rich boy tries to get rid of both. Think "Caddyshack" on a boat. The acting is OK, given the silly dialogue and relentless attempts at tugging your heartstrings. Here's the kicker: you get to see the ship go down. In the comfort of your stadium seat or in your own home, you get to see what looks like the actual sinking of an ocean liner. People screaming, tonnes of water everywhere, the best and worst of mankind in a tidy package for your viewing pleasure. It's FRICKIN' COOL, is what it is. It's some of the best eye-candy ever seen on film, and that's saying a lot.
Remember DiCaprio's wonderful performances in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" or "The Basketball Diaries"? Yeah, you won't see any of that in "Titanic".
"Titanic" is less a movie than it is a rollercoaster. I liken it to "Pearl Harbor" or "Debbie Does Dallas", where you get to see some mind-blowing action sequences, and the rest of the film is useless. Rent the DVD so you can use chapter-select to replay the good stuff over and over.
Now, you might be thinking I'm a mindless action freak, but nothing is further from the truth. For those of you that heard "Titanic" is a wonderful and romantic flick, I recommend watching it, then renting "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" or "The English Patient". Both these films have better dialogue, better acting, and are MUCH more romantic than "Titanic" can ever be.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot: two good reasons to watch "Titanic": Kate Winslet gets topless.