Flashy visuals and tired cliches galore

Rating: Null/10 (24 October 1998)

Universal acclaim. Top grossing film of all time. Winner of 11 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. What can I say about this monster of a movie that has not already been said? How about, "It didn't float my boat". After months of procrastinating, I finally went for broke and sat down to view James Cameron's Titanic. I knew what to expect, after all, this is the only movie I've been hearing people talk about for the past six months. Here is my impression of this film. It's a mixture of a Jane Austen novel, a Disney animated feature, and The Poseidon Adventure rolled up into one nice $200 million package. What do I mean by a Disney movie? Well, as I was sitting there watching Leo DiCaprio savor Kate Winslet's delicate touch, I thought to myself, "Where have I seen this before?". The answer: The plot is almost identical to that in Disney's Aladdin. You know the one: A beautiful rich girl is bored with her aristocratic lifestyle and longs to have some fun. She is supposed to marry a wealthy fellow, which her parents are pushing her to do. Then she meets a poor fellow, and grows to love him. The poor lad shows her a good time like her rich lifestyle never could. But what about her rich fiancee? What's a girl to do? Sounds like Aladdin doesn't it? And George of the Jungle. And countless sitcom episodes. Even Wayne's World made fun of it. And that is one of the twelve or so original movie plots which have been used over and over through the years. And once again, James Cameron recycles it, but this time he puts the story on a really big boat, and gives it a tragic ending to try to squeeze every last tear out of the audience. I've never really been impressed with Cameron's writing, and after seeing Titanic, I'm still not. I can't say much for the acting either. Billy Zane is just too "Aren't I evil?!" to be taken seriously. However, the good thing about this film is the technical expertise of James Cameron. The ship-sinking portion of the film is fabulous, from a technical perspective. Give Jim Cameron a camera and a few hundred million dollars and he can cook up a really great looking product. Just be sure to get someone else to write the script. I still insist that Contact, Boogie Nights and The Apostle are the best films of 1997. Titanic does not even come close. I give it a 5 out of 10.