alternative scenes

Rating: Null/10 (22 August 2003)

I watched the Titanic for the 3,845th time yesterday. Well no, not really. It was only the second time. Anyway, when I watched it yesterday, the first half hour I felt like throwing up. The first half hour is probably the worst part of the movie. But after that, it gets better (although the sinking part could've been shorter).
There are several scenes, mostly from the early part of the movie, that I find particularly annoying. If James Cameron had asked me, I would have told him to shoot them another way. These are the scenes (contains spoilers) :
1. First of all, the early part of the movie, the lead-in, is too long. It should have been made shorter, like maybe 10 minutes instead of like 20. And that part of the movie made it look cheap. The movie is about the Titanic and how a girl's life was changed. It's not about some modern expedition to salvage the ship, using state-of-the-art technology (yeah, yeah, the miracles of technology and computer simulation, we all know that already). The lead-in should have been made as short as possible.
2. When they found the safe: `It's payday, boys!' and ` Ka-ching!' These phrases annoy me. I wouldn't have used them. That fat, bearded guy (ZZ Top) is pretty annoying too.
3. While the guy was cutting into safe, everybody stood around and celebrated by opening bottles of champagne. First of all, that's pretty rude. Secondly, if they were serious researchers, I'm sure they wouldn't celebrate things prematurely. That scene made them look like pirates. OK, maybe they were. I would rather that they were serious researchers. The movie does reflect on the director, so it seems.
4. When Mr. Expedition Boss saw the painting of Rose wearing the diamond necklace, he asked someone for a picture of the necklace, then held it side-by-side with the painting. This scene was used to introduce the diamond to the audience. But I think it's too cheesy and dumb. If Mr. E. Boss was so obsessed with the diamond, he would have memorized by heart how it looked like. He wouldn't need a picture to compare. A subtler scene would have sufficed. For example, `Jesus Christ! It's the diamond! Bob! It's the diamond! ' Cut.
5. Rose's granddaughter: leggy, long-haired Blonde with big boobs. Yeah, right, come on. I would've cast ZZ Top, as Rose's grandson, instead, just for kicks.
6. Rose seeing the expedition on TV. Come on, what are the chances? Unfortunately, I can't think of a better way of doing it. In reality, they would have probably taken a longer time to find Rose, or maybe never, in which case, there'd be no movie to be made.
7. OK, those Russian (or whatever) guys, who were playing poker with Jack, had a ship to catch. What are they doing gambling, five minutes before the ship was going to sail (the bartender was yelling, `Titanic is leaving in five minutes')? Over-dramatized unimportant scene. I prefer it shot like this: Jack wins tickets, Russky gets mad and attacks Jack, accusing him of cheating (that's what most people do when they lose in gambling). Jack grabs tickets and runs away, loses them in a chase amidst the crowds, cut.
8. `I'm king of the world' (Jack).'I'm flying'(Rose). come on, that's so cheesy. Do they let you do that anyway? Still, I can live with those two scenes since they were the defining moments of the movie, and every movie needs a defining moment. Except, there's not a single soul close by when they did that. It looked so like they were shooting it in a studio. I'd prefer a few people close by, watching their antics, to make it look more realistic.
9. Fabrizio, Jack's sidekick. How convenient, as a comedy fodder. No sidekicks for me. Artistes travel alone.
10. At the end of the movie, old Rose throws the necklace into the sea. Come on. Those poor expedition people have been looking for it for years, and she throws it into the sea? How mean can you get? Why should Rose feel so attached to the necklace anyway? The necklace does not symbolize Jack's love. The necklace belonged to that Mean Fiancé guy whom she detested and which he tried to use to buy her love. I would have done it this way: the scene where Rose arrives in America, looks up at the Statue of Liberty and finds the necklace in her pocket. Then she throws the necklace into the sea, symbolizing the severance of all ties with her past.
11. Old Rose doing the `I'm flying' thing- that's so dumb. Then she goes to bed, and they show all those pictures near her bedside table. Hello, you'd think she would have left the pictures at home instead of lugging it all the way to sea. For an old lady like her, she should travel light. I would've settled for her to look into the sea, see her own reflection, a satisfied smile, go to bed. Those pictures of her `living life to the fullest' could've been shown in the early part of the movie while she was still at home. For example, showing her photo album to ZZ Top, `Oh, lookie, this is me riding a horse. Oh, lookie, this is me, piloting an airplane during WW2.'
12. The Final Kiss- nice touch, almost perfect ending to the movie. Except it was spoilt by having all the people looking at her and then clapping while they were kissing. That is so dumb, because it made Rose look like some sort of narcissist, craving for attention and approval. I suspect it was James Cameron's Oscar winning fantasy: `ooohh, I'm getting an Oscar for this, and everybody in the audience will be looking at me (finally!), cheering and clapping their hands.' I bet that's what he was thinking when he was shooting that final scene. The scene should just be her and Jack, with the people there as decorations, no staring, no claps. Zoom in and show just the two of them kissing.
And like I said, the one hour or so while the ship was sinking. I'm sure it could hae been made shorter, and less melodramatic. But I can't be bothered going there.