The embodiment of everything wrong with cinema

Rating: 1/10 (8 July 2019)

There are few films that elicit in me such passionate loathing as this piece of utter rubbish. This is lacking in practically everything that ought to be in a movie. No aliens, no graphic scenes of cannibalism, no serial killers, monsters spawned by nuclear power, special effects obviously made from random objects found in the director's office, or surrealistic body horror. Also, no werewolves. I suppose the title should have given me a warning, it doesn't contain the phrases "blood", "invasion of the", "cannibal", "walks among us", "massacre", " meets Frankenstein", or "from outer space"; all of which are generally good indicators of quality cinema. It's also filmed in this weird artificial style, which I hate. Mainstream cinema fans might like this style, I prefer my films to look like they were made in someone's garage back in the 70s. And then there's that awful theme song. If you want a good movie theme song, listen to Surfing Dead by The Cramps, the theme from Return Of The Living Dead; by one of the finest bands in history. There is absolutely no reason to watch this, it essentially summarizes why I only watch B-movies. You could probably make 100 B-movies with this budget, and all of them would be more interesting. Just watch The Astro-zombies instead; now that's a good movie. Cameron has sunk far from his days doing special effects on Galaxy Of Terror (his best work by far. Who could forget the infamous worm scene?). Also, does anyone else think that Decaprio looks like a giant hairless squirrel?