The Ultimate Near Death by Boredom Movie

Rating: Null/10 (23 September 2011)

I went to see this with my wife - she had read the hype and we were expecting a decent film. After about 20 minutes I began to realise that something was seriously amiss. I was not expecting Bourne or Bond stuff and I am not averse to a slow moving film as long as it entertains me. This abomination is beyond description - I gave it 1 out of 10 only because I cannot give negative numbers. After about an hour I could stand it no longer and, not having a sharp instrument with which to slit my throat and wrists, I left my wife to it and went to sit in the foyer while she continued with the torture. Sitting in the foyer was a million times more entertaining than watching that guff. I won't go into all the stuff about long pauses, meaningful glances, long face shots. In short - DON'T GO NEAR THIS !! As my wife was leaving the cinema hall she heard several people complaining about this dire 'movie'. When I asked her for her opinion she said, "About 3 out of 10.". In view of her giving this extremely high score, I am making arrangements for her to be seen by a head doctor as soon as possible. At risk of repeating myself, "DON'T GO NEAR THIS UNADULTERATED TRIPE - BE WARNED BY A POOR SOUL WHO IS STILL SUFFERING POST TRAUMATIC STRESS FROM AN HOUR OF EXCRUCIATING PAIN BEFORE MAKING MY ESCAPE."