I miss the first Iron Man

Rating: 3/10 (18 March 2019)

Back in 2008 Iron Man felt really a fresh breath on the blockbusters. It adopted its source material really faithfully in the vein of big budget action adventure movies. Despite the predictableness, the movies was really funny and it was fun to see the good guy smash the bad guy in the end. Good laugh and a fun to behold. Iron Man 2 was nothing special and Iron Man 3 is a whole review of its own.
The Thor trilogy, however, is really just sad, wasted opportunity.
First Thor was so dull and bland. It was the most obvious setup for the Avengers in phase one and felt nothing more than a paycheck for everyone involved. The Dark World absolutely wasted the great Christopher Ecclestone, I really wish they'd given the opportunity for him to get his thing going on with Chris Hemsworth in their scenes. Instead of this, they decided it'd be better to reduce him to nothing more than a dull joke.
They went all in the dull jokes in Ragnarok. This movie is just the mediocrity of the Dark World combined with Guardians colour palette and jokes, endless amount of unfunny jokes. The plot is yet again the old "something wants to destroy everything, main character must discover the way to prevent this", and the few serious scenes trying to explain this conflict feel awkward among the swarm of clunky dick jokes.
The few scenes where they let Tessa Thompson, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth just talk to each others like normal people do, the movie feels real and funny. Those scenes are very few, most of the time everything is interrupted with a really awkward joke. Idris Elba was awesome, but Heimdall feels so weird in this movie. He's super serious when everyone else isn't. Anthony Hopkins' line delivery was the funniest part of the film.
There's something wrong with practically every character (except for Loki, I guess). Hela stabs Thor and gouges his eye (the makeup is so ugly), but she mumbles when she has to talk about executor executing people. Ha ha. Skurge is maybe the most worthless character in the whole series. Thor ranges from being a childish idiot to a hero of the day who cheats his brother, who's supposed to be a trickster god or something. Valkyrie being a badass drunk doesn't feel real at all. Surtur looks like a PS3 cutscene. The Warriors Three get treated like they weren't ever there in the previous movies. Jeff Goldblum plays himself in this movie. Hulk's voice sounds like its completely unfinished, I had to check that my speakers were working normally. Korg is probably Taika Waititi's final middle finger to the audiences and the producers.
The bigger these movies get, the smaller these stories go. Some Marvel movies feel like the directors want to make adventure movies, but the producers want to make children's movies. These movies are starting to feel really weird. Everything shown is told to the viewer by the characters. Literally everything.
Thor Ragnarok is probably the Schindler's List for people who paid to see all the Transformers movies.
This was almost as bad, lazy and uninspired as Guardians of the Galaxy 2. I'll add rate this one star higher for the slightly better actors and some nice looking green screens and special effects.
Can't wait for the next reboot in 10-20 years.