Couldn't suspend my disbelief

Rating: 4/10 (3 November 2017)

Did I just witness an MCU Theatrical Release? It felt like a straight-to-DVD, non-canonical experiment. The things in the film that did make sense, only served to undermine or undo all that has been accomplished in these characters' trajectories over the past few years. And I tried to think of exceptions to that statement, but that only increased my frustration.
For example, the character of Loki will always be a favorite, and the tension between his villainy and the love his brother has for him always works well for me (including in this film), but the setup we got in the last film (with Loki deceiving everyone into thinking he's Odin) was scrapped and simply laughed off. Same thing with Thor's intense connection with Jane, which we've been developing over time: laughed off. And Thor's vow to Doctor Strange? Also laughed off. Didn't we witness Thor learn honor and integrity over the years? And yet he vows to take Loki and his father and return straight to Asgard, which he eventually does do, but in the end he has the choice of taking everyone anywhere in the nine realms, and where does he choose? The exact planet he'd promised to vacate. At least with Skurge the question of loyalty showed some inner vexation, but even that felt out of character.
So much made no sense. Why does constantly raining trash on Sakaar make such teeny tiny piles? And why is the entire population of Asgard so tiny too? Why do the sets feel so fake? Why are none of the jokes funny? Why does Thor refer to his experiences with the Avengers as "work" (as if his God-of-Thunder duties are something he goes home from)? I hated that line in the preview. Why does Thor express no sorrow when his close band of warrior friends is killed? What are Hela's powers, and why do she and her costume instantly recover from stabbings? Why does Hela's admittedly bad-ass crown change back and forth between two distinct styles (sometimes covering her cheekbones, and sometimes not)? And if Thor has a mystical power (namely, the ability to mask his hammer as an umbrella), why combine that with a scene where Thor is being subjected to Doctor Strange's tricks, making it seem like the umbrella deception is Doctor Strange's doing? It's needlessly confusing. And what's the reason the Hulk is stuck as the Hulk, not returning to Banner form (nor increasing in size when attacked during combat) for two years? And why did the first teaser trailer ruin so many important plot points? (I'm SO glad I didn't watch the later previews, which ruin even more of the story.) Oh, and if you're going to give a rock creature a voice, why choose a vocal style so dependent on nuanced lip control, rather than a back-of-the-throat voice? All these things take the audience out of the movie.
This film had so much potential, so many opportunities wasted. Take Hela's healing for example: the camera never focuses on how she's impervious to stabbings, and this could have been a profound cause of fear and suspense for the characters, rather than a cause of audience disbelief. We also got a build-up of suspense when the Hulk attacks the flaming giant Surtur, but then he quickly and awkwardly retreats, anti-climactically. Also bizarre: when Odin dies, we aren't given the chance to linger in the moment, and Thor certainly doesn't seem shaken up about it. Even the torturous murder of the Grandmaster's cousin is laughed off. And the actors were allowed to ad-lib too much; there was immense potential for some really good lines, but these opportunities were wasted too. Just lazy.
Oh, and the '80s-style synth music felt really forced, like it were added on later because it's popular. The new Blade Runner handled this much, much better. Thor: Ragnarok just felt slapped-together.