It's John Carter! No it's Guardians of the Galaxy.. no wait, it's a Thor movie!!

Rating: 3/10 (29 March 2018)

Welcome to my John Carter review.
Our main character lands on an alien planet where he gets captured.
Forced to fight as a gladiator. To meet a beautiful woman and together start an uprising in order to return to their home planet!... oh.. no.. wait.. is this a thor movie?!
First off, the movie is enjoyable. However, it failed to hold my attention that well. Mainly because the storyline and "serious parts" were outweighed by jokes.. and more jokes.. and forced jokes.. and more jokes..
Don't get me wrong, the marvel movies and universe have room for jokes, when it fits the story, or when it fits the character. In this movie, it doesn't feel right. End of the world, end of Asgard.. aaah.. let's make an out of context joke about it! Thor loses his eye in a "horrible" battle.. Loki; "Haha, you lost you eye brother"...
Those aren't jokes that fit the character and aren't always funny because of it.
Ironman/tony stark can make jokes in life threatening moments, as he is a sarcastic kind of character. Spiderman has a lot of humour as he is young. Guardians of the Galaxy has a chaotic humour as it's 5 people trying to work together combined with the silliness of Groot.
Thor however, was quite a serious character in the previous marvel movies, Thor and avengers. Where the largest part of his humour and jokes came from the fact that he "doesn't fit in", that he "not from earth and doesn't understand some things said". The seriousness of the last movies was offset by having Loki in the movie with some darker humour that fits the character and the movie.
I was expecting quite a "dark" and serious movie like the previous were. Especially as the subject of the movie is how Asgard is in danger and that destruction is near. But... nope.. it's all colourful, happy, jokes, haha, laugh laugh!
Bruce Banner is also a very serious character. Same as the Hulk. But in this movie the hulk is like an angry todler, walking, talking, and don't forget to add jokes!!! that also doesn't seem to fit his character.
Especially when he jumps out of a spaceship as bruce banner, to land all cool like the Hulk. Would be an amazing scene in (finally) a quite action packed and exciting moment, the final battle!!! But no.... they have him flop on the ground as Bruce Banner like a rag doll.. the battle stops where everyone goes "haha, funny, haha, what happened?" To still have him change into the Hulk and start fighting... completely ruining the pace of the end battle.. I'm hoping for a marvel action packed movie, not some slap stick comedy.
Even the start of the movie where Thor is tied up and hanging on a chain. Talking to an evil boss thing that isn't important to the story. He's slowly twisting on that chain and at some point they stop the conversation when he's facing the other way and go "haha, i'm facing the other way HAHA LAUGH!! aren't we awkward hahah".. then he spins back and they continue talking while he keeps spinning.. 10 seconds later "HAHA repeat the joke again!"... It ruins the feel of the movie.
That scenario would fit Guardians of the Galaxy, it would fit spiderman, it would possibly fit Iron man. It doesn't seem to fit a Thor movie.
It simply doesn't feel right and doesn't feel like a Thor movie. It's like someone took the script of the next "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie, scratched out everything that has to do with the Guardians and replaced it with "Thor" and "Hulk"..
It's spaceships, alien planet, aliens.. It's Thor meets Guardians of the Galaxy meets John Carter meets Wall-E. And i'm not sure that's a good thing.