Comedic Action Film with ZERO Acting

Rating: 2/10 (22 January 2018)

Stunned when I watched this sh*t.
1. Jeff Goldblum:
Dear Jeff Goldblum - could you STOP. I've watched you acting (and really well) in 'Mister Frost' and (with jaws agape in) the Oscar-worthy but sadly neglected 'Adam Resurrected' - but since Adam Resurrected you haven't done a single original character movie. You are your own stereotype - unfortunately, it's the stereotypical Hollywood bullshit 'Well, I have my money, so I'll put in the least effort.' model. Kindly F*ck Off from our screens till ya can be bothered again. And Please don't get me started on your 'Jurassic Park' or 'Independence Day' - repeats of the your idea of a dithering 'genius'.
2. Direction:
Just who or more precisely, what was this Movie aimed at? Sociopaths?
Yes, We'd all show no emotion when our parents die, when friends we'd fought beside for thousands of years were wiped out. When our entire culture and civilisation were brought to ruin. Of course, this might reflect the entire 'stoic' repertoire of the actors... who knows - it's not like the writers gave them much manoeuvrability. (NOTE: Shoot Writers)
3. Timeline:
You established that time within the 'Universes Dump' was far out of sync with the 'Normal' universe - a day in the 'dump' could mean hundreds of months or years in the 'Real' universe - so how come he arrives at Asgard just a couple of months into Hellas' reign? Lucky, I Guess.
4. Cheap Toilet Humour:
Well, ya missed a few shots here gents... ya didn't mention the word 'Cock' or 'Pussy' or 'Fart' - sure ya tried but couldn't quite fit them in - plus, ya missed references to the Anus... no, no I stand corrected - ya managed to get that particular US Fetish in.
5. I'm gonna end this review here... cos I just can't be bothered with the other sixteen points - like the Directors, Producers, Actor and, of course, the f*ckwits you call writers.