Slightly Above Thorrible

Rating: 3/10 (8 May 2011)

Hammer time will have to wait for The Avengers movie.
This feature length version of Thor and his origins was only marginally better than Marvel's Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Spider-Man 3 and Daredevil. That's not saying much when you factor in the better Marvel films: Spider-Man 1-2, Iron Man 1-2, X-Men 1, 2, 3 and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Fantastic Four 1, Hulk and Incredible Hulk and Blade 1, 2, 3. Hmmm. Of the 18 Marvel movies (including Thor) I mentioned, that means, Thor ranks as 15/18.
That's not good. Nevertheless, if you're slightly curious, or like CGI-laced movies a lot more than I do, check it out. I wouldn't waste the extra fee for 3D or IMAX, like I did unfortunately, but it's harmless comic-book entertainment. And be forewarned: DO NOT STAY THROUGH THE CREDITS for that extra teaser they've been known to get people hyped for The Avengers movie. At the end of this review, I will SPOIL IT to save you the extra time. Heck, the movie's too darned long anyways.
The movie immediately begins with Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman as Jane Foster who's studying with her colleagues in the New Mexican desert and inadvertently runs into banished Thor (a gorgeous Chris Hemsworth – one of the few pluses of the movie). But wait! How did he get dropped into the desert?
Well, thanks for asking. Over the next 45 minutes or so, you'll learn the background story of Thor, his King Daddy Odin (Anthony Hopkins) and his oh-so-mysterious brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston – one of the many negatives of the movie.) They run the realm of the good guys, and they don't like the ice baddies who want to make everything and everywhere cold. Their leader must've lived in Phoenix, AZ at one point and for that, we will take their side.
The story appears on the surface as kind of complicated, but deeper, it's almost as basic as can be. Thor leads his misfit friends after the ice giants and thus gets banished to Earth – full circle – and now we're back to Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman and her interest in alternative universes and of course, hunk of a man Thor, himself. He, however, is battling everyone to get his precious star-laced Hammer back. Unfortunately, he must learn to be humble to get it back..blah blah blahI never bought his transformation, I just wish there were more of super-powered Thor and the not "Oh, can't we all get along" idiot they put on the screen.
The performances were okay. One in six jokes worked. The graphics were decent – MUCH better than 2010's Clash of the Titans. The only thing I looked forward to, aside from seeing the breathtaking Chris Hemsworth on screen, was the never-ending The Avengers/S.H.I.E.L.D./other superheroes either seen or mentioned. There were a lot, but it was welcomed as I was more interested in the "coming attractions" and less involved with the actual film I was watching.
Again, recommended for the curious, and not recommended for those few that are, to stay through the final credits.
(And as promised, SPOILER, here's what you'll see after the seemingly 15-minutes of credits one of the scientists, Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard) who worked with Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman's Jane is invited into an underground bunker to meet with, yep, you guessed it: Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) again. Nicky wants to use this power cube, but doesn't understand it and Erik is mucho curious about it untilwe find out he's Thor's evil brother Loki in disguise. Yawn. NOT WORTH IT. Couldn't you have shown Thor VS. (or at least, meets) Hulk? Or even Iron Man (in the suit) going at Thor? Sorry, I love Samuel L. Jackson as much as the next human, but enough. Give us something we haven't seen.)
Oh, and by the way, I hope someone had noticed the "Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman" as sarcasm. And that's another discussion