Bore, sorry, Thor fails to entertain

Rating: 3/10 (2 May 2011)

The trailers for Thor had left me with some sense of anticipation. Coming from the same stable as Ironman 1 and 2, I thought I was in for a rollicking, rip-roaring action adventure. How wrong could I have been? Thor was, frankly, boring. Well before the tedious 114 minutes were over I was finding myself constantly looking at my watch and praying for time to fly and the end credits to roll. Even seeing it in 3D didn't make any difference.
The film started promisingly enough with the usual preamble. Details concerning Odin, and Asgard, fighting the Ice Giants in defence of the pitiable humans on Earth. But from then onwards it went down hill as fast as a trip on the Bifrost Bridge. The characterisation was so poor I ended up not giving a hoot whether Odin was going to die or not. Thor being banished to Earth for disobeying his father? Seen it all before. The younger son seeking to take the throne that rightfully belongs to his brother, yawn central. A collection of throw away companions for Thor to use as a backdrop to his own performance? So failed to move me that I couldn't remember the characters names without referring to IMDb. They just weren't memorable enough nor did they establish themselves in the film's narrative structure.
The fight scenes were well done but nothing that you might not have seen elsewhere. The dialogue, with the odd olde worlde English term used, at times felt like the recycled script from an old sword and sorcery movie and the love interest, Natalie Portman, sparkled like a lump of wet coal. I like Natalie Portman, I thought she performed well in V for Vendetta, but in this cinematic turkey she seemed to be a lost child looking for direction. Her character, the scientist with brains and looks, was drowned out by Kat Dennings' Darcy character, who managed to delivery a few moments of levity amongst the many minutes of boredom.
The process of Thor's redemption, from war loving two dimensional character into an empathic and thoughtful god like mega being, was so quick and shallow as almost to appear instantaneous. The sight of Thor, as a penitent mortal, acting as a waiter and serving breakfast to two humans was so jarring that I thought it was meant to be a comedic scene. Unfortunately, it wasn't.
The film rattled on towards the expected final battle between Thor and his brother, Loki. Where upon Odin awakes from his deathly slumbers and saves the day but not the unfortunate Loki. Loki drifts off into space to some unspecified fate from which he might well arise in a sequel. Cue a couple of scenes where the now "grown up " Thor gazes off into vast distances while mooning for his human squeeze (Portman) who's shown trying to develop her own Bifrost Bridge (the original having been destroyed in the extended and frankly dull final battle scenes). Roll credits and massive yawning from this audience member.
Further thoughts: For a film with a budget of $150m I thought it came over as cheap. Perhaps if more had been spent on the script and less on the CGI it might have been a triumph rather than a dull drudge that won't be entering my DVD collection. The real proof of the pudding was my son's opinion. The twelve year old, who'd been so enthusiastic to see this film, announced that it had been dull and he didn't want the DVD when it came out.