He be worthy

Rating: 8/10 (3 January 2017)

By Odin's beard! Verily, yon mighty picture house of Marvel doth demonstrate the courage of a warrior battling a rampaging Bilgesnipe to tell the tale of Thor. Metal men and monsters of medicine? Aye, but ye literal Gods of Olde, told with nary a snicker? Forsooth! But hark - they who doth dare to scorn know not the Lord Kenneth of Branagh, whose soothsaying doth be as pure as his heart. He approacheth the lore of Asgard with the eloquence of yon Bard of Olde, but addeth the slow-motion and explosions of yon Michael Bay. Zounds. And lo - though it be the first foray into fantasy outright for yon kingdom of Marvel, Thor abideth the test of time - robust, clear-headed, and, verily, as fun as it be mighty.
Too ridiculous an opening paragraph for you? Thankfully, Marvel and Branagh are, quite wisely, on your side. Here, the Thor comic's characteristic Stan Lee swipes at 'Olde Englishe' are as absent as his feathery helmet (that is to say, restricted to cameo status). Branagh is cognizant of this potential for silliness, and works hard to carve out familiar, safe ground, opening with a contextual prologue that leans on Lord of the Rings tropes so extensively, it's almost a shock not to see Cate Blanchett pop up.* Still, Branagh proves as adept at blockbuster filmmaking as he is at gilding classical wordplay, and, after a few cliché-courting opening moments in the (cool but fairly wobbly CGI) realm of Asgard, it only takes moments to be swept up in Thor's brisk pacing, crisp action interludes (excessive slow-mo notwithstanding), and ready levity, all skepticism receding to a dull ebb.
Instead, Marvel's challenge of selling Norse mythology as hip, blockbuster entertainment provides a intriguing opportunity to repackage the rote, superhero 'learning powers/coming of age' tropes as something altogether more mature. Unlike the average hero, the arrogant Thor begins his titular film at peak power, and the film's biggest action blowout is in its first act, where he lets loose with all the thrilling, trailer-stinger hammer-'n-lightning blowout moments against an army of frost giants in the tundra wastelands of Jotunheim. Soon afterwards, however, we're grounded in New Mexico, where our fish-out-of-water deity is, begrudgingly, forced to learn humility through nonviolent valour. Here, Branagh slows down to a crawl, with more talk of astrophysics, governmental investigations/Avengers world-building (including a happily extensive hangout with Clark Gregg's adorably deadpan Agent Coulson), and the comedic schtick of Kat Dennings (who is just funny enough to not feel flagrantly out of place) than punching and kicking. In his downtime, he stokes a romantic subplot, with flirtations housed in constellations, conflating science and magic, and pop tarts. No one could ever accuse Thor of being unambitious.
If the initial premise itself heralded perilous camp potential, this forced juxtaposition is doubly so. Thankfully, Branagh meets the silliness head on with a cheerful twinkle in his eye. Ample amounts of Thor's gregarious, out-of-place posturing ("I need a horse!" and "This drink - I like it. Another!" can face off for the film's biggest laugh) and physical slapstick help take the sting out of the Asgardian brooding, while keeping the film accessible and fun. This, in turn, carves out breathing room for Branagh's Shakespearian credentials to work their magic on the larger-than-life melodrama, helping terse, booming confrontation scenes between a golden bondage pirate and a Gothic teenager with ibex horns breathe as surprisingly natural, sombre and resonant, without hammering it home (ha). Amazingly, before you can shake a sceptre, it's all coalesced in a din of flamboyant opposites that (somehow) achieve thrilling counterpoint, woven together by the strains of Patrick Doyle's handsomely heroic musical score. By the time we're swept away to climactic battles with a gigantic Day the Earth Stood Still robot and a god vs. god beatdown on a CGI rainbow bridge (keep your Mario Kart jokes to yourself), we, like Thor, feel we've earned the catharsis of the CGI-bloated action, and are too invested not to cheer in the face of the raw jubilance of it all.
Still, Branagh's careful balancing act would be nothing without the exceptional casting of Chris Hemsworth as the titular god of thunder. Bringing an impeccable comedic timing, and boisterous charisma as colossal as his dazzling physique, Hemsworth commits to his performance with such enormous, brazenly sincerity that his fall from grace and reclamation of honour are somehow as primally resonant and compelling as any high melodrama. Similarly, Tom Hiddleston attacks the inherent underdog pathos of Thor's seedy sibling Loki with such ferocious nuance and presence that he's nearly as commanding, sympathetic, and beguiling as his titular brother, even in the midst of committing unspeakably despicable villainy. Natalie Portman may struggle to fish comparable depth out of her quirky love interest/dubious astrophysicist, but she's neurotically adorable enough to make her rushed romance with Hemsworth surprisingly sweet. Anthony Hopkins lends Odin the requisite thunderous gravitas while largely resisting the expected sleepiness and impulse to phone it in, while Stellan Skarsgård is unreasonably entertaining as the resident 'straight-man scientist,' fishing perennial incredulous humour out of the chaos with practiced ease. Finally, Rene Russo, Jaimie Alexander, Ray Stevenson, Josh Dallas, and (especially) Idris Elba all find their moments to lend humour and class as fellow Asgardians, despite functioning more as endearing action figures than fleshed-out characters.
Despite, on paper, sounding like the superhero genre's most absurd entry, Thor excels as one of its most straightforward, breezy, deceptively intimate and character-driven, and invigoratingly enjoyable. We've believed a man can fly; now we can believe a god can fall, and capture our hearts all the while. In the words of Odin, Thor is worthy.
-8.5/10
*Or apparently she's just been biding her time for six years. Stay tuned for Ragnarok!