Who knew the end of days would be so boring?

Rating: 4/10 (9 August 2016)

Ugh... where to begin? So I finally got round to watching this "dark comedy" from the prolific (and invariably hilarious) Rogen-Goldberg partnership that had so far managed to evade me. Excited to find a Seth Rogen film featuring so many of my favourite comedy actors, I was praying it would be more Pineapple Express and less Your Highness.
It wasn't. I know lots of people love this film, but then again lots of people voted for Hitler. I'm not saying this movie is as bad as the Third Reich, I'm just saying it's a self-indulgent piece of crap that screams of a stoned Seth Rogen and an "inspired" James Franco "brainstorming" over a 3am KFC bargain bucket.
The premise is that Franco is throwing a star-studded house party at his Beverly Hills mansion, replete with drink, drugs and general debauchery, when suddenly it's the apocalypse. Amidst the earth giving way, fire & brimstone, & demons that rise from the depths of hell itself, the merry band of soft, pampered starlets do their best to survive with the considerable lack of real-world skills that they possess. Great premise, right? Hence why the execution is so perplexedly disappointing.
Yes, there are inevitably numerous funny moments that mostly arise from the chemistry between these real life friends, who manage to poke fun at themselves as the generally useless human beings that they are. However this is the smallest of redeeming qualities that can't make up for the multiple times when I literally fell asleep. Oh, and did I mention how monstrously awful Emma Watson is? It's quite an achievement to be the biggest over-actor among that cast, but Hermione manages it. Hearing her repeatedly say "You want to rape me?" in her totally out-of-place posh accent is not funny or "edgy" guys â€“ it's moronic, and just a little bit creepy considering all the men are in their thirties and she still looks like she's 15.
I'm guessing that if you're 16 or under, you'll find the explosions, drugs and demon rape delightful, otherwise, why not hit yourself in the head with a mallet instead? It'll kill fewer brain cells, and waste far less of your time.