There's Nothing About Mary

Rating: 5/10 (19 January 2003)

I found this movie to be incredibly boring. In short it has very few funny moments. Here are the three: the zipper scene, the dog-on-fire scene, and the "speed for the dog" scene. However, the "speed" scene has a great setup (Evans and Dillon set the dog up to meet Stiller), but in it's punchline it goes flat. Don't see this movie if you want to laugh.
There is a scene in Mary's office with Tucker (Lee Evans) on crutches. But I kept feeling that the director was saying: "look at this, isn't it outrageous?!" It felt forced. Mary (Diaz) tries to help and there was one more quantifiable laugh. The man (played adeptly by Lee Evans)leaves and outside is a good chuckle, indicating his slapstick skill.
This humor is not offensive. It is you who are pseudo-sensitive if you think it is. E.g. the character "Carla" in "Cheers" was the most insulting image of an Italian-American woman I have ever see. However, she did not represent all Italians, all Italian women, or women in general. She was one character and her antics were about her character. No Italian-Americans were upset about "Carla" - we all had a great laugh. In this same sense, the humor about the crutches is not at all about people with handicaps - it is about "Tucker" and that's all it is. So get over yourselves, get a life, and learn to "Eat, drink, and be merry." (Luke 12:19)
Cameron Diaz is a charm to watch, but that's it. I wanted to laugh and all I did was wound up waiting to think of something better to do.
Matt Dillon is excellent at being a "mook." (I guess that means big dork.)
Lee Evans puts in a solid and utterly convincing performance.
However, the story is simply not funny and not romantic. I feel nothing between Ted (Stiller) and Mary (Diaz). Towards the end I kept thinking, "Come on, END! (so I could go do something fun.)"
In short, there's NOTHING about "There's Something about Mary." 5/10

Zafoid

PS: This movie could be renamed: "There's Something About Cameron."

Z