Something really stinks about this movie

Rating: 1/10 (12 February 2007)

Someone lent this to me and I watched it before I researched it. Big mistake.
The Farrellys are the worst of the worst. Their "comedies" are dumbed down in the tradition of Blake Edwards, Mel Brooks (but without any of Brooks' redeeming flashes of brilliance) or the Marx Brothers. It's every bit as bad as the 3 Stooges or Jim Carrey. So, yes, if you like that kind of thing you'll love "....Mary".
Watching this was like watching some old-time comedy that my grandmother cackled through "Oh, he tripped and his head went into the cow's you-know-what."; continuity is wasted on an audience as stupid as we are; each small joke is repeated and magnified so many times that even folks not watching the movie will get it; the lines are crass, stupid and ill-timed; the soundtrack miserable; the acting pathetic - which is OK for Diaz and Stiller but Dillon can do much better.
The plot is that Stiller's character has a prom date with Diaz's character. He gets his dick caught in his zipper; her parents, some cops, the rescue squad, a neighbor, .... et al see it and laugh. Then we see some close-ups of flesh caught in a zipper, just so we really get it. The Farrellys are the loud jocks who love practical jokes like nudging you at the urinal and telling you that they spit on your sandwich.
Years later Stiller hires Dillon's character (a private detective) to find Mary. He does, but then tries to keep her for himself. This is handled with gross and clumsy lines - she's a fat pig on welfare with multiple kids. This could have evolved into a good story but it would be too subtle so they introduce more and more suitors until a small crowd - all professing love - have it out in the dÃ©nouement.
Diaz is all about her winning smile and great body. Yes, yes, she's a babe. But she has two facial expression (glee & more glee) and really does nothing else. There are many actresses with equivalent looks and talent to match who take difficult roles. Diaz just wanders and giggles her way through.
I thought "Dumb & Dumber" and "Kingpin" were abysmal. This was worse.