Have You Seen Ben Stiller's Wiener?

Rating: 5/10 (13 June 2010)

Long-haired Rhode Island senior Ben Stiller (as Ted Stroehmann) wins the "hot babe" lottery when comely Cameron Diaz (as Mary Jenson) agrees to go to the senior prom with him, after he defends her retarded brother against school bullies. But, Mr. Stiller has to miss the prom, due to a genitalia mishap occurring while he relieves himself in Ms. Diaz' bathroom. Thirteen years later, Stiller's "frank and beans" are still sexually functioning. Presumably, Stiller produces a lot of hair gel with his wiener.
After seeing a psychiatrist, the self-proclaimed heterosexual and still single Stiller decides to find Diaz. Stiller feels "There's Something About Mary" which makes her the love of his life. He hires private dick Matt Dillon (as Pat Healy). But, when Mr. Dillon finds Diaz is as sexy as ever, he lies to Stiller about her - saying she's as fat as a whale at 250 lbs, and confined to a wheelchair. Then, Dillon uses his investigative skills to become Diaz' perfect mate. Meanwhile, Stiller decides to find Diaz anyway...
A gross howl, even for non-network TV; where you usually see things uncut, some show a censored version.
***** There's Something About Mary (7/15/98) Bobby & Peter Farrelly ~ Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon, Chris Elliott