There Will be Boredom

Rating: 4/10 (17 March 2013)

One of the most boring films I have ever seen. I honestly fail to see why this won anything.
Some films are long because they have a lot to say. Some films are long because so much happens in the story that to shorten it would be criminal.
This film is long because it lacks editing. It seems that on every occasion in which there was a dramatic pause in conversation or some intense close up on Daniel Day Lewis' moustache... it went on for about twice as long as was necessary to convey the point. If I was describing this film to a blind man in real time it would sound like this: 'nothing's happening nothing's happening nothing's happening nothing's happening oh, his son's deaf now'...
The film was just in no rush to tell its story, yet for one so long it didn't seem to have much to actually tell. As a book the story would be done within a hundred pages.
This was the first indication that the direction was not to my taste. The second was the massively repetitive music. I genuinely had to mute it at one point because it was just a 2 second drum loop which had me grinding my teeth for five minutes. Why anyone would choose to put that music in a serious film is beyond me.
The description of the film was that it portrayed a self made businessman. At no point did it say he was a moron. Every time something went wrong I was left thinking... why? Most of it just didn't seem even remotely logical. 'Yes... I'll light the fuse on the high explosives and then attempt to retrieve my tools.' Maybe if Mr Moron had just made a second trip down to light it he wouldn't have nearly killed himself.
I'd call it a comedy of errors but... it wasn't funny.