No-clever-summary-title...

Rating: 1/10 (14 April 2008)

So I've charged myself with the task of reviewing this movie because I sat through a very long 2.5 hours watching this Hollywood "earthquake seepage," with the complete and total intention of loving it. Everything i have read about this movie had peaked my interests and titillated my taste buds. I guess the point of my little intro here, is that i could not have been more willing to accept this movie as one of the all-time greats.
When i woke up this morning and went out to my car to go to work, i noticed that all my crap inside had been thrown around and my ipod had been stolen from the console. At least this incident, in which someone broke into my car overnight, was able to take my mind off of what a horrible movie this was...for a little while. I'd sooner forgive the soulless piece of garbage who stole my wonderful MP3 player, than Paul Thomas Anderson for taking a dump on a stack of papers and calling it a script. "there will be blood" has no substance, or storyline, or plot whatsoever. I could not agree more with the people who reviewed this movie as being awful. I also feel vindicated in accusing it of being a bunch of random, pointless scenes, loosely tied together to create a very unfulfilling "story." I'm not sure who in America really liked this movie, and why it is that they really liked this movie. This is the slowest, most improperly titled movie i've ever come across. For a movie named "there will be blood" to not have any real violence until after an hour and a forty minutes of some ancient western scenery and a delusional soundtrack had gone by, sounds like grounds for a "false advertising" suit. There was more blood in one "problem child" movie than the 3 hours of dreary, incompetent, confusing, and misguided story-telling of this movie.
real quickly on the soundtrack, Punch Drunk Love featured an un-mistakingly similar score...and it was marvelously perfect for that movie. If you're going to want this movie to sound like Punch Drunk Love, that's fine, just don't make it LOOK LIKE TOMBSTONE...
I do see how much potential there really is for this movie to take shape and find an intriguing direction to go in, instead all your privy to is the inappropriate soundtrack, lack of substantial supporting characters, and an un-earthing of a secret from young HW's past that really needed to become more than it was.
I watch movies constantly, I guess it's a side-effect of being an only child, or I just really enjoy the stories, histories, and experiences others have had, brought out into a film. In any case, i'd love to rally as much support as possible to have these people (who enjoyed this movie) to have their eyes opened...OUT DEMONS...OUT GHOSTS, AS LONG AS I HAVE A SOUL I WILL HATE YOU, AS LONG AS I HAVE A REMOTE I WILL 'STOP' YOU, AS LONG AS I HAVE A MOUTH I WILL SCORN YOU...LEAVE NOW 'THERE WILL BE BLOOD' AND NEVER RETURN!!!!