Some aging observations

Rating: 8/10 (22 February 2009)

I found this to be a most satisfying film. The other positive reviews are spot on. The direction is excellent, Rourke (Ram-Robin), Tomei (Cassidy-Pam) and Wood are terrific.
So I'll try to add some observations you may not have encountered.
Not just in its character definitions but in many other ways, this is a film about aging, about not being able to really go back.
I saw it here in New Jersey where the outside locations for the film were shot. For me, the Garden State plays a supporting role just as the actresses, and does it so well.
Ram and Cassidy meet on a Saturday morning at a second hand shop in Elizabeth. I could be wrong but I think I even know the block it's in and I haven't been to Elizabeth in years. Old clothes to be rediscovered, a metaphor for Ram's life and the relationship with his daughter.
And a secondary theme of surface appearances--Ram as the wrestler, not as Robin, the ordinary guy who works at an Acme (also New Jersey) and hates his real name--meets face to face with Pam, the real Cassidy, who is no longer on stage, but a mother of a nine year old making ends meet by dancing. He's taken aback but still finds her to be beautiful and attractive.
She suggests he track down his daughter. The daughter's home is a quiet, aging small colonial that might have been built in the late 40s or early 50s. No grand entrance, just a simple door. On a street of endless identical aging homes. If this wasn't actually filmed in Linden or Rahway, it could have been.
After he gives his daughter a present for the first-time in years, she agrees to go with Ram to the shore. Down the shore, for New Jerseyans. The location, the aging, abandoned boardwalk of Asbury Park. It's winter when they visit but it will always be winter for Asbury Park. Gone are the rides and food stands and certainly the crowds of lost decades--a striking parallel to Ram's own career. All that remains are the shell of the former Paramount Theater at one end (not shown) and the Casino, the home to all the arcades at the other. It's padlocked, stripped bare and covered with graffiti. They go in and even bust down a door to dance a romantic father-daughter dance to imaginary music in a high-ceilinged room that once hosted skee-ball games and the like. I know. I played them, maybe you did once too.
Yet, they not only can't bring it back, but the daughter can't even remember the casino from her youth. They sit on a window ledge, framed by the interior of the old building, looking out at the sea in a marvelous camera shot.
In a strange universe, I watched the film with about two dozen others on Oscar Sunday afternoon. As Bruce Springsteen sang the theme while the credits rolled, everyone sat quietly, not moving from their seats. When the lights came up I was astonished. The entire audience was 50 or older, as I am, as Rourke is, as those areas of New Jersey are even more so and as wrestling seems to be as a national prime time entertainment.
We all age. If you want a surprising insight into that process, I recommend "The Wrestler"! (My only quibble is with Tomei's alleged "aging dancer." She does it well, very well indeed. But no one could believe the aging part of the description, she's just strikingly beautiful. Or maybe that's because I'm just an older observer.)