Hopkins meets the Hallmark Channel

Rating: 3/10 (18 September 2006)

Anthony Hopkins is, in "Indian" simply a great actor in a mediocre film. I don't understand how they talked him into it, but there he is. Though the role surely didn't tax him, without him, "Indian" would sink from mediocre to trite.
The story follows Bert Munro, a 70-ish character from New Zealand who lives in a squalid shed, has no life outside his obsession with his 40-year old motorcycle, rarely washes, and rails against smoking and drinking at every opportunity. Of course, the whole town adores Ol' Bert and every old woman he meets just can't wait to bed him. Sure.
I'm not quite sure if we're supposed to notice that Ol' Bert is a walking disaster zone. Strangers have to continually intercede to protect him from his own foolish and dangerous decisions. When he finally bumbles his way to the Salt Flats, he remains true to form and relies on sympathy to get him past the safety rules. If they'd have put thick glasses on Hopkins, they could have titled it "Mr. Magoo's World Speed Record". That the Kiwi crackpot actually made some speed records somewhat diminishes my respect for the endeavor.
The movie is slow and quite two dimensional considering its 2+ hour length. Movies this corny usually have furry stars. Visually, its on par with made-for TV stuff. The bonus material has a brief tourist promo on New Zealand that's visually far better than anything in the movie. Hopkins is the only positive, but he could've done this one in his sleep. On second thought, he did. His name, however, undoubtedly provided cover for many to heap undeserved praise on this thoroughly forgettable two hours. Somebody should check their passports.