Stalled At The Starting Line

Rating: 3/10 (16 April 2006)

"The World's Fastest Indian" tells a great true story, Burt Munro's epic journey from small-town old kook to record-beating hero. It's just a pity that, unlike its hero, who displays grit, imagination, and originality, this film rides a long highway of often cringe-inducing clichés. Right from the word go, we have such standard feel-good movie touches as the adorable little boy who assists, the nasty neighbors who harass, the wise old Indian man who gives Burt a good-luck charm, chirping American gals cheering him on, and, worst of all, the cute and friendly transvestite who aids our hero. On cue, Burt develops a heart condition for pathos. On cue, Burt drives on the wrong side of the road for big laughs. He even sets fire to his lawn just to prove what a grand old eccentric guy he is.
Scene after scene in Roger Donaldson's script presents a stock character type, an anachronism, a self-contorting attempt to please the audience, or Anthony Hopkins drawling on with some tinned old codger rumination or dirty talk. Hopkins' accent wanders all the way from Wales to Wellington and over to Long John Silver, even as he gives the part his best and carries the film along on his back. It's a pity the film progresses so unimaginitively, because Donaldson is a good image-maker and the climactic scenes are extremely well-done. It's a crowd-pleaser, but it pleases the crowd with a bunch of tricks they've seen too many times before. This racer stalls at the starting line. Send it to the junk yard.