Blade Stopper

Rating: 2/10 (26 July 2013)

My preconceived thoughts, thanks only to the marketing, on The Wolverine involved me rolling my eyes. Yet, another Superhero/Comic Book part 2 (in this case, Wolverine's second solo feature) that our hero loses their powers, the very thing I go see these movies for. Yet another movie I had to count the minutes until the inevitable return of their abilities. Do writers even consider how unoriginal this concept is?
Hmmm how many have there been, excluding this one? And what were the reasons?
1. Iron Man 2 – Heart problems.
2. The Dark Knight – Wants to retire.
3. Spider-Man 2 – Anxiety.
4. Superman II – Lost for love.
5. Men in Black II – Amnesia.
6. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – To each other. As some kind of comedy. Kinda.
But, I will say this: half way through this incredibly tedious, boring, terribly paced, toned down, un-fun, laughable dialogue and horribly choreographed "action" movie, I changed my opinion and actually wished my favorite X-Men character's (Wolverine) powers wouldn't return if this was how it was going to go.
I understand they wanted to make a more "grown-up" superhero movie, but still listing it as just that and keeping the PG-13, is a contradictionin this particular case. "The" Wolverine's really dark – he even drops the F-bomb in this, so if they truly wanted to make it more like an adult adaptation, ditch the too-low MPAA rating. Sadly, that wasn't the only problem the Director failed at.
The Walk the Line, Girl, Interrupted and Cop Land director, James Mangold, had absolutely no clue on how to make these characters the very least bit interesting, what makes action scenes – especially in the X-Men universe – exciting or flow right or understood the mythology behind "the" Wolverine character. Even Hugh Jackman, reprising his role for the sixth time, looked bored and ready to quit. I was, too – I almost took a break during this painstaking long movie and not even ask my friend what I missed upon returning.
Oh, and don't get me started on the storytelling from the characters. The endless, relentless and uninteresting childhood stories the characters stop the film every 5-10 minutes to tell us. I couldn't stop laughing when I mimicked the numerous "When I was very young" stories following the feature to my friend.
Basically, the preview gives away 85% of the movie, leaving very little surprises. "The" Wolverine is summoned to Japan to accept thanks for saving a man during World War II, but not just thanks: the gift of the death to "the" Wolverine's instant healing and eternal life "curse." So, when "the" Wolverine loses said power, he's shot multiples of times, including dead-center with a shotgun, and he continues on like they were scratches.
Will he get his powers back? Oh, gee. I dunno. Maybe. But, he will begin a chemistry-free love affair with a cardboard-cutout chick that had less depth of the width of said cardboard.
The movie was practically score-less, music-less, story-less and action-less. Along with the characters so incredibly dull, there was very little of interest here. And like I said, even Jackman looked uninterested and just going through the motions.
I wasn't a big fan of Iron Man 3 since it contained a minute amount of action, but at least that had a huge supply of comedy. Even "the" Wolverine's signature small one-liners seemed to be written by a three-year old and were so predictable, I quoted them (whispered out loud) before he said them during my initial viewing.
Oops, sorry: Initial? Probably: only.