I wanted to like The Wolverine...

Rating: 3/10 (29 July 2013)

I wanted to like The Wolverine, the log line has so many cool elements: samurais and Hugh Jackman being badass... but it wasn't that at all, it was just so bad
Warning, this 'review' is spoilers galore so skip this review entirely if you were planning to watch it but I advise you to either just read this or rent it, because it's awful. I'll setup the plot and then jump into the good and bad.
So the film starts off with the following
Logan being a loner, depressed and having nothing to live for. He looks like a badass hunter and he has nightmares because he killed Jean. He also has flashback nightmares of his past where he saved a Japanese soldier from an atomic bomb. So far so good, the movie looked promising here as we establish Logan's state of mind and his past.
Logan wakes up and we see him being a loner doing nothing with his life but then a bear gets killed by a 'jerk'. Logan overreacts to his bear buddy getting shot with a poison arrow by a jerk and confronts the jerk in the bar, Logan overreacts and we meet Yukio, the badass Asian chick with the power to see when people die.
She says don't worry about the jerk, she's been sent to tell Logan that the man who Logan saved wants to meet him to say goodbye... so they go to Japan...
OK we're in Japan and we establish all the main characters: the obviously evil hot blonde Russian, Asian males who are evil/crazy/useless, the pretty innocent granddaughter that Logan will fall in love with.
Here is the first problem, all the characters except for Logan are rubbish, no fault of the actors, they did the best they could with the story/dialogue but the characters are boring, they all have a one dimensional personality, because of this reason, the film has already set itself up for failure.
The following scenes happen: Dying rich old man that Logan saved tells Logan that he can make him mortal, well the 'twist' is so obvious here. Obviously there's a catch and everything about this old man seems suspicious, especially after the line "I am not ready to die but you are".
Logan is like "Nope, this is weird" (rightly so), goes away and then we see the granddaughter trying to commit suicide but Logan saves her and Asian guys being jerks...anyway, the old man 'dies' and we go to his funeral but SURPRISE! Hell breaks loose and there is fighting, action and chaos ensues.
People are trying to kill the granddaughter (love interest), Logan saves her!
There is an awesome fight scene on a bullet train! One of the few redeeming action scenes, I enjoyed this, good fun and I wish there was more of this in the movie.
Then it goes back to being awful. The love interest granddaughter/Mariko is stubborn at the beginning saying she doesn't need help but finally accepts Logan's help. They go to a love hotel, this should've been funny but the whole love story here feels very forced, having the 'I killed Jean' flashbacks didn't help and the audience in my cinema thought it was rubbish as well. The love hotel should've been a great setup for humour, something this film lacks. Wolverine's fun never reaches it's potential, the one liners never really take off like they should.
Now they're going to hide in Mariko's hometown and we learn a bit about her past. Honestly this should've been where Logan and Mariko's relationship solidifies but it never feels genuine. It's Hugh Jackman being a lumberjack and we still don't care about the characters. The bad guys aren't too interesting because as the audience we already know they aren't too important, you never feel that Logan is in any danger or pain yet even though he's lost some of his powers.
Logan + Mariko fall in love...maybe, there's a kiss. Mariko gets captured pretty easily, Logan loses her and then Yukio comes back to help Logan. Logan goes after baddies such as Mariko's jerk boyfriend and the bad guys, he also regains his powers.
OK third act, lets go after the baddies and get back Mariko back. Oh hey, that old man that Logan saved...he ain't dead, he's in a giant metal robot and cuts off Logan's claws but I still never felt like he was in danger. Mariko saves Logan using the cut off claws and kills her grandfather. Yay happy ending, that's the gist of the movie...now the good + bad:
GOOD: Hugh Jackman's acting CGI / Special Effects (hit and miss but mostly great) Train Action Sequence
BAD Writing / Character Clichés (The bad kind) Action Scenes; needed more interesting choreography Lack of laughs + fun expected Asian stereotypes galore / Asian guys are depicted as evil/crazy/useless Wolverine's character is less fun + badass than we were expecting Self indulgent time wasted on showing Hugh Jackman shirtless or Tao Okamoto's face Suffers from Blue/Orange Hollywood Colouring Jean / Nightmare / Flashback Overload Transitions to different scenes are lazy and boring, the pace of the movie dies at times...
Overall, I give it 3/10, it's just not a great film, the story is lacking, the action is lacking and there isn't much fun to be had. We all still want an awesome Wolverine movie because Hugh Jackman is a great choice, they had a 2nd chance to make it awesome but instead we got this failure full of actions clichés, plot holes and having wooden characters. I don't know who is to blame, the cast is fine, the direction seems OK, perhaps it's the writing. I'm disappointed we didn't get an awesome Wolverine movie and it has killed my excitement for a new X-men or future Wolverine...I won't get my hopes up again.