"I am the best at what I..." bang! (ouch!) bang! (ouch!) BANG!! (OUCH!!)

Rating: 2/10 (28 July 2013)

This is a movie with Hugh Jackman showcasing a beard and metal claws, and some Japanese dudes doing stuff, and there is also a blonde in a sexy outfit. Jackman gets shot at a lot, and even at point blank: in the leg, in the torso, in the shoulder, everywhere. But this is no western, really. There is some action here, there are scenes in which you wonder what is going on, and you don't care a lot about what's gonna happen next because you don't understand what is really going on. Then you pretend you understand, or you leave the cinema. I stayed, as my son was kinda entertained. Then he asked me what the hell was going on. "Whatever", I answered.
If you are new to the "Marvel-mutants-go-to-the-movies" hype, don't bother, you can certainly skip this: I don't think you will find a lot of entertainment value here. It feels quite disjointed, with bizarre and outlandish touches so typical of... well, not sure really of what, but possibly a melange of the worst examples from the "Marvel-mutants-go-to-the-movies" hype. Yep, it's all here. Don't listen to what the actors and "creators" in this movie are saying, or better don't take them too seriously.
If you are not new to Marvel mutant movies and are familiar with the title character, well, you can also certainly skip this, err..., "film".
In the comics, there are some memorable Wolverine stories, there are good Wolverine stories, there are bad, and then there are those which you feel you could give the stuff you just read some real purpose by wiping your rear end with the paper. And yes, that's exactly how I felt during and after watching it. I even wondered how would you do that with film.
I entertained a lot of other meditations during the movie. For example, my mind kept going back to Ridley Scott's Prometheus, once and once again, which, come to think of, it is a recent movie example of bad (Real Bad) science fiction and grotesque, bizarre imagery, in a disjointed story, about which you don't care a blimey about anything. Also, both Prometheus and this one have kind of odd things happening to heads -yes, "heads", and I am seriously trying not to spoil here the bizarre twists involving "heads" in both movies that still manage to stick to the retina after a while.
Oh, what the hell, I'll spoil it. In Prometheus, a disembodied head gets a metal probe manually punched in its skull, right behind the ear, and when given electricity through the probe the head starts moving and screaming, and then it explodes -that's Prometheus to me. Here in The Wolverine, a head (still fixed to its living body however) gets a half a piece of adamantium claw punched in, yes, literally, and it still manages to go on talking and acting. So... as I said, "whatever". This is what sci fi can get you sometimes.
And if you are still having second thoughts: forget it. Nobody is the best at anything in this movie.
(Snikt!)