Awful

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2016)

Gee. If I hadn't been with my partner I'd have walked out after half an hour. Only afterwards did I discover he felt the same way. We could have gone home and been more scared by an obscure movie on the horror channel.
We knew we were in for a bad film when all the tropes started being thrown in. Seventies style breath music? check. Puritans? check. Instant farming? check. "Don't go into the woods"? check. Paedophilia? Check.
Honestly, the trailer has all the best bits of the film in one minute. Watch the trailer. The trailer is fabulous. Unfortunately, it doesn't have much relevance to the film. The 'horror' the trailer implies is never forthcoming, unless it's the terrible mash-up of olde-engishe and modern contractions. And utter cleanliness on a 17th century farm.
Endorsed by the Satanic Temple? What a bunch of losers.