75 Minutes of Non-Developing Exposition for an Unsatisfying End

Rating: 4/10 (20 February 2016)

I don't understand why "The Witch" is supposed to be so "critically acclaimed". Amateur critics don't count. Won 5 awards... 4 were from people that live in their parents' basement and run awards nobody ever heard of and one was from Sundance, if that tells you anything about from where this acclaim is coming. Granted, a film doesn't need awards or recognition from major groups to be good (the reviews I most trust come from some cynical film fans on the YouTube), or even come from a major studio. But I think some people view these "outsider" type films as being instantly high art and great films just because they're not some "cold, materialistic ad space" or some other stereotype of major production films.
I don't want to say it was bad really... the acting was good and the idea was good, it was even well shot for what it was. The problem was the writing/directing with one of the poorest executions I have seen in a long time.
Without spoiling the film, there's a lot I can say. They try too many angles at once for the story and don't really develop any of them. This, I wouldn't even classify as horror, though luckily it did stay away from the modern "horror" tropes of not being horrific at all and relying on cheap gore or "jump-scares". If anything, it was more like a suspense film... but with all the suspense removed.
The whole thing is one long build up, touching on all these details very superficially and not developing them until the last 10 minutes. Actually, about half-way through, there's a scene that makes you think: "finally, the exposition is over". Then it immediately ends that rising drama to go back into more exposition. They should have picked an angle or one underlying cause for the drama and developed it. But this goes on until the final 10 or 15 minutes of the film where the story just sort of hits a brick wall at 5 miles per hour. "Wait, that was it? I sat through all of this for that?".
It is a shame that such good acting and shooting had to go to waste on basically zero story development. The only thing horrifying about this film is how positive the reviews seem to be.