So bad, it's almost good. Almost.

Rating: 3/10 (9 May 2006)

This review contains mild SPOILERS. If you want to know all the plot twists, don't read on. I'm not going to reveal the big secret, which I'm sure you can find in the message boards here. But it would almost be impossible to talk about this movie without revealing anything...
******************* This movie is not great. In fact, it's pretty bad. The characters are flat and one-dimensional. And they don't really say much that isn't intended only to move the plot along. The style of dialogue is old-fashioned and contrived; which I'm sure is on purpose, but nevertheless very annoying to listen to.
The plot centers around a quaker-ish looking community, set in a time and place we are unsure of at the outset. The villagers live in a meadow surrounded by forests, in which lives "Of Those We Do Not Speak." What a strange title. Whichever villager came up with that one surely failed Creative Writing 101. We catch fleeting glimpses "Of Those", which I must say are pretty creepy looking creatures with long red robes, big scary heads and long skeletal "fingers." They don't really do anything that we can discern, they just walk around looking creepy. The deal is, as long as the villagers stay out of the forest, "Of Those" will leave them alone.
However, one villager, Lucius (Joaquin Phoenix) wants to travel to "the towns" to get medicine for the sick people. This requires a romp through the forest. He is forbidden by the town leaders. But when Lucius himself is injured, his would be fiancée Ivy (Bryce Howard) pleads with her father to go get the meds. Her father (William Hurt) happens to be the town's leader, and after some pondering, decides to let her go into the forest that harbors the monsters. Alone.
Oh, and did I mention that she is blind? So before sending his blind daughter into the forest by herself to find a road some miles away, her father reveals a big secret to Ivy so that she can manage herself better while alone and blind in the forest. He gives her instructions about how to reach the road and sends her on her way. Something happens in the forest which is maybe a bit unnecessary and left unresolved. And thats about it without revealing whether or not she makes it, gets back to Lucius, etc.
There are a lot of great actors in this film that weren't given a lot to work with. It is a flat movie with a few tense moments, but many more that are melodramatic and simply plot driven. I like Shayamalan, but this one was a "miss" for me. On the other hand, I would categorize it as one of those movies thats almost so bad it's GOOD. I kind of had fun watching this bad bad movie and moaning and groaning through it. Ignatius J. Reilly would understand. And if you don't know who that is, go read "A Confederacy of Dunces." It will be a much more entertaining use of your time than watching this film.