A complete time waster

Rating: 1/10 (1 February 2005)

It is a mystery to me how some people manage to fund and direct movies. There is no denying that "The Sixth Sense" is an intelligent and ingenious film. But then came "Signs" - one of the most over-rated movies of 2002 and now our once promising writer/director has come up with "The Village". On paper, this must have looked like complete hogwash, but somehow the studio thought that it had wings and would transcend the vapid scribblings that called itself a movie script. Sadly they were horribly wrong. In spite of some seriously talented actors, the writer/director managed to produce a profoundly empty and immensely boring movie where almost nothing happens. A movie where you cared little about any of the characters; a movie with about as much tension as grandmas old discarded knickers. I won't try and bore you with an outline of the plot, because it barely exists. You will come to the end of this movie, turn to your friend/partner/lover and say,"What was that all about?". If you feel a primeval need to watch this drivel, then see it on DVD. That way, after 10 minutes, when the urge to gnaw off your own limbs sets in, you can fast forward the film and get the turgid thing back to Blockbuster before they close at 10p.m.