"A Very Special Halloween Episode" of Little House on the Prairie

Rating: Null/10 (30 July 2004)

No SPOILERS (but truly, you'd have to be brain dead not to figure everything out while watching the movie)
Perhaps the most laughable, implausible, asinine film to grace screens this summer. This shamefully trashy and reactionary yarn about red cape wearing monsters threatening an idyllic Amish-like village is truly preposterous, interminably dull and its narrative `twists' can be seen a mile away. Imagine the silliest episode of Scooby Doo mixed with a `very special' Halloween episode of Little House on the Prairie. The outrageous promotion of this world class turkey from this country's most self promoting, arrogant hack M. Night Shyamalan (who inexplicably and egocentrically seems to fancy himself a modern day Hitchcock) is really unforgivable.

The hype for this thing is a surefire way to make it the big box office winner this weekend and I'm sure there will be plenty of groaning, bored and angry audience members tonight like in my screen who booed and hissed throughout the film's lengthy, incredibly dull duration. I feel embarrassed for all the actors in the film having to speak the ludicrous dialogue and keep a straight face. This is one of those incredible all star train wrecks that people will laugh about for years. I'm still in shock that some of the actors in this film didn't laugh out loud at the screenplay.
While I felt the 6th Sense was strong and well made I have not been much of a fan of M. Night's other films but THIS THING absolutely takes the cake. I feel battered and robbed of ten dollars. I can imagine the fat cat cackles of Scott Rudin and company as they howl it up this weekend in the Hamptons watching the box office receipts pile up before word really gets out. How they'll laugh knowing the joke is on the public. What a terrible, pointless, waste of time and money for us working stiffs.

THERE'S NO EXCUSE. ABSOLUTE GARBAGE.