The Village

Rating: 2/10 (6 January 2008)

"I've seen this movie, it's rubbish! The big twist at the end is, they all live in the present" is what The Annoying Devil in Channel 4's Balls of Steel said about this film, maybe I should have listened to him, because it is pretty random, and boring. Basically there is an isolated 19th Century village surrounded by woods, the village people have seen creatures dressed in red hooded cloaks (like Jedis), so they are afraid to go in the woods, Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) is injured (I can't remember how), and the pretty blind Ivy Walker (Spider-Man 3's Bryce Dallas Howard) goes into the woods to find medicine, and this is how we the audience find out that they are living in the present day. They must have been bloody scared by those creatures to stay in that village and not go out for a whole Century. Also starring Adrien Brody as Noah Percy (is he supposed to be handicapped, or is he just an idiot?), Lost in Space's William Hurt as Edward Walker, Sigourney Weaver as Alice Hunt, 28 Days Later's Brendan Gleeson as August Nicholson, Cherry Jones as Mrs. Clack, Jayne Atkinson as Mrs. Tabitha Walker and Judy Greer as Kitty Walker. I'd rather watch the spoof done in Scary Movie 4 than this again, only that ending sticks out in my mind, director M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs) has let himself down. This is purely from the fact that it bored the pants off me, didn't have enough (pretty much any) great thrills or jumps, and it isn't a real horror film. Pretty poor!