If there were a just and loving God, this wouldn't exist

Rating: 2/10 (24 September 2004)

Have you had one of those moments where you're watching a movie you're just so uninterested with what's going on that you actually question puncturing your eyes out? That pretty much sums up what most audiences may experience when viewing, 'The Village'.errthat is 'M. Night Shymalan's: The Village.' From the self-proclaimed present day Alfred Hitchcock that brought us 'Unbreakable,' 'Signs,' and that only good Haley Joel Osment movie about the kid who sees dead people, 'The Village,' introduces us to a small colony of entirely white actors including Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, Sigourney Weaver (she's the lady from 'Aliens,' kids!), and newcomer, Bryce Dallas Howard.
The 'village people' live their Amish-like lives that, while seemingly innocent and peaceful, a feeling of dread and fear tears at their lives caused by scary monsters lurking in the woods (also known as Brian Magerhurth- the sound recordist). While this all may seem to be a very creepy concept, the story soon falls apart with the most predictable ending ever, which, unlike Shymalan's previous movies, comes dead smack in the middle of the movie, leaving me with nothing (though you'll probably have guessed the ending within five minutes into the film). Also if you've seen his past films, you probably know how Shymalan orgasms over the use of color references. While this may have been a cute tactic in 'The Sixth Sense,' three films laterwe get the point. Move on!
On a positive note (and I'm really looking here folks), Bryce Howard, daughter of television and film legend, Ron Howard, gives a worthy performance as 'Ivy,' our blind protagonist who must conquer her fear of the unknown.
Strangely, the most annoying part of this entire movie wasn't the slow paced story telling, the lacking in truly scary moments, the script, but the way the movie was ruined by the role of the director, who successfully achieves his attempt at professional suicide. Starting off with placing his name at the top of every movie poster, at the end of every trailer, copying Hitchcock's film techniques (along with everything else), featuring himself in every one of his films as a minor role (why couldn't he have settled for just a walk on role?), and ditching one of the lead characters in the middle of the movie, only to reveal the identity of the real 'star' of the film, (strangely just like the character of Marion Crane in 'Psycho') Shymalan shows his true color in this movie. While he may be able to make pretty pictures in the sense of cinematography, other than that he contributes nothing to his films other than a monstrous ego and techniques entirely copied by Alfred Hitchcock.
I was bored to tears seeing this movie. For your sake don't go see this film. Do something more interesting like trimming your nasal hair, writing your congressman/ woman, read the 9/11 commission report, or just beat the crowds that did go to see 'The Village' and go to your local cemetery and go pick out your own grave spot.
I gave this film a D-
David A. Cox Emerson Film Student/ Critic Berkely Beacon