Bad.....no awful.....why did I see it again?

Rating: 1/10 (6 September 2004)

Ah the joy of a good thriller. spooky moments, making you jump out of your seat, suspense and of course the mind blowing twist at the end. All things that make a thriller right? I challenge anyone in THE UNIVERSE to show me any moment in this movie which fills ANY of those criteria. It is NEVER scary, the suspense lasts as long as a good fart and as for the twist....was that it?!!?! the fact that the twist is actually revealed half an hour before the end (there are no monsters) wastes the final 30 minutes of my life even more than the opening 90. this film is so bad i questioned my desire to ever go the movies again. the main actor gets confined to bed after half an hour after saying less words than a 2 month old baby and the mad cap twist is so not twisted its straight as a ruler.what the hell!!?! mental patients living in a wood? giant area of land where no one ventures, using the monsters to prevent people escaping?!?! rubbish rubbish rubbish. If the story (as the trailers make it seem) did involve J.Phoenix wandering into the woods to challenge the beasts all blair witch style, that would have been scary. if the story was the beasts coming to the town more often, that would be scary. the beasts being real would have been scary. in fact, the smurfs appearing in hockey masks and chainsaws would have been scarier. the director of this movie should be banned from directing ever again and the funding that goes into his projects should be given to ideas by good writers and directors, not mental people who give themselves crazy middle names and write thrillers with no thrill and twist movies without a twist. rubbish 1/10