Scooby Doo Meets the Fascist PTA

Rating: 3/10 (4 September 2005)

This movie probably stands out as one of the worst uses of a great cast in the recent history of film. You would think that a film containing performances by Joaquin Phoenix, William Hurt, and Sigourney Weaver  among others  would be watchable and interesting. The great cast, however, can't overcome the been-there-done-that story and the ham-fisted dialog that drags this movie straight down into a deep, dark hole.
The main plot point of this film was lifted straight from an old Twilight Zone episode, and the portion containing the film's climactic tension is really nothing more than the culmination of a Scooby Doo cartoon (and he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!) I found myself waiting for the Mystery Machine to pick up the heroine, complete with Velma's trademark explanation of "Jinkies!" Actually, what does happen is pretty close.
Question: why would a father so concerned with the protection of his blind daughter that he was attempt to start a parallel universe cut off from all contact with the outside world then allow her to go by herself into the woods? Why didn't he send help when the two cowardly teens who were supposed to protect her turned back? Very silly stuff, this.
And, oh, that dialog! Did this American History professor not believe that people used contractions in the past? The whole script contains not a single one! Some of it winds up sounding like it was written by Yoda (Such a great gift, love is! *groan*) Granted, some of the cinematography is quite nice, and those in search of a period piece might enjoy this one until the near the end. Personally, it seems to me like Shyamalan had only a couple of good films in him, and is now turning out heavy-handed dreck like "The Village" and "Signs." After watching this one, I feel no particular compunction to watch any forthcoming films from him.