Awful...and I mean wretched

Rating: 2/10 (30 July 2004)

What in the world happened? The only thing I can guess is that M. Night has started drinking....heavily, with all his recent success. And like all celebrity drunks, he's hoping, in a boozy fog, that people won't notice the precipitous decline in artistic inspiration. It was truly a challenge to sit there and watch the starlit cast groping along with really crappy dialog. You know a film is in trouble when the actors are projecting visible boredom right there on the screen. William Hurt had one moment where he managed to wrench some emotive tension from his character....but at the end of the scene, it all blew over like a dry fart in the midst of the listless wasteland of a screenplay.
The premise was a dead dog to begin with. Like other reviewers I was desperately clinging to the hope of some last moment spark of genius which would unify the film or, at the very least, breathe a single moment of vitality into the plot. Not even a wheeze! At each "plot twist" I was groaning audibly and kneading my temples. I shudder to think of what the screening tests atmosphere was like. I bet the blood drained from Night's exotic face. Serves you right, Night! I hope reviewers out there, who aren't "in the pocket" give this one a good ripping....'cause I myself have been ripped off!