See Not This Movie, Burn This Village

Rating: 1/10 (2 August 2004)

"The Village" is just awful. I feel like I was suckered into giving up $20 by Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan himself, and that he should personally apologize to my wife and I for tricking us into watching this awful film. Since that's not going to happen, first I will rant, and then go into some well-marked spoilers.

*RANT*
This film promises one thing and delivers something completely different. I was fooled by the advertising campaign, I thought this was a HORROR film, not a nearly two-hour long episode of the Twilight Zone (and not a very good one either).
Ron's Howard's daughter's acting really sucks! She's the "blind girl," but until she tells the audience she's blind, you'd never know it. She looks right at people, runs through fields without tripping, etc. Her emotional range is so limited that I thought she was autistic as well (but that's just bad acting).
All I can say is DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. It is a waste of time and money, and most likely, you'll feel ripped-off. Buy not the ticket, it will show you the bad movie.

***SPOILERS AHEAD*** ***SPOILERS AHEAD*** ***SPOILERS AHEAD***
Warning: Don't read what follows unless you've seen the movie or don't care if certain scenes are spoiled for you.
The premise of this film is that in the 1970's a professor and some other folks are part of some "recovery group" for people who have lost loved ones to violent crime. So he gets a forest preserve (somehow), prevents planes from flying over it (somehow). In the center is The Village built on a glen and fields, and surrounding the fields is a forest, and surrounding the forest is a tall wooden fence, which is patrolled by guards in jeeps. Who pays for all this? Who cares.
The professor sets up this village so the people of the recovery group can live in "innocence". Supposedly there will be no crime or violence. However, he and the "elders", the original members of the recovery group, decide that the best way to keep the generation of kids that will be born in the village away from the outside world is to fill the woods with "Those We Do Not Speak Of", essentially were-porcupines who wear red robes. The were-porcupines are actually the elders, taking turns being "Those We Do Not Speak Of". 25 years or something goes by from when they set up this Village, so now, in 2004, The Village is filled with a new generation that knows nothing of the outside world.
Now, I paid money to watch a HORROR movie. I was very curious as to what the creatures in the woods were. I was hoping the villagers would get tired of being bullied by these creatures, and would rise up against them, but they would be going up against tough supernatural creatures, so the battle would be long, exciting, tense... we'd learn more about these creatures, their origins, religion, society, etc. But I wanted above all to see a SUPERNATURAL THRILLER, what I felt the trailer promised. Instead it was an episode of the Twilight Zone. You can almost hear Rod Serling: "For man has only one real enemy to fear. It is man himself." Aw geez, gimme a break!
Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan's script is just bad. The film begins with scenes from The Village, where everyone is talking in this fake sounding 1890's American English. No one, and I mean NO ONE ever spoke American English this way. If this is supposed to be particular to The Village, then okay, but if this is supposed to be reflective of 1890's speech, give me a break. Shymanlan should have read "McTeague" or another famous novel from the 1890's to get some kind of flavor of how people spoke in those days.
Adrian Brody is just WASTED here as the village idiot. This is the guy who one the Best Actor award for "The Pianist", remember? He could have been working on a real project instead of this tripe. And if he is the village idiot, how does he know how to find his parents' were-porcupine costume, put it on, escape from a locked room, and find the EXACT location of Ron Howard's daughter in the woods? Did he have GPS?
Eventually, The Village would rebel against the creatures, regardless of hurt. They are just a bunch of were-porcupines, there's no way they could stand up against an entire Village determined to kill these vermin once and for all!
Why aren't the kids in The Village more curious about the creatures? How come none of them have ever stumbled upon their parents dressing up in a were-porcupine suit? Isn't it odd to the kids that on some nights their parents disappear, then appear tired in the morning?
Also, there's no way the fake "joy" in The Village could be sustained over a course of years. The kids, especially the teenagers, would get bored and rebellious. Even some of the adults would want out, and once on the outside, they'd open their big fat mouth and tell the world about this Village.
Boring, unconvincing, just plain bad. Steer clear of this Village.