Umm...did I just waste 2 hours?..yes...yes i did (SPOILER ALERT)

Rating: Null/10 (1 August 2004)

(SPOILER ALERT!) Wow...M. Night Shyamalan has pulled off a hat trick...of crap! The sixth sense: i see dumb people, they're everywhere! Signs: waaaaay too much whispering, really dumb aliens... and now this... The Village: It starts out interestingly enough... nice, creepy forest, innocent villagers in their amish-style village... the whole new language that the people talk (kinda ye-olde English) is a funky idea... it could be much worse! Well it gets worse..believe me... The first dumb part is the whole 'blind girl' idea... she RUNS around, she LOOKS at people, oh..did i mention, she RUNS through the woods and never trips, stumbles, falls, or even slows down! OK...bad acting/planning aside... The first glimpse of the creature... a man in a red cloak wearing a suit! WOW!! so 'creature-ey' ... what is this? 'The thing from planet Morpheus'?.. I'm sorry, men dressed in animal skins don't cut it anymore... WAIT but I thought red makes the creatures angry..yet the creatures WEAR (yes..monsters wear clothing nowadays) RED! Sure, i suppose it could work, considering the people in the village have the average intelligence of 10 year olds...Then comes the 'love story and murder' part...this had to be the high point of the movie, with some amount of 'depth' to it. Two friends love the same girl, she chooses, so the crazy guy tries to kill the other! pretty basic, but better than the rest of this crap... Then comes the whole 'truth' behind the village... its all a farce! some rich guy tired of crime in 'the towns' buys some wildlife preserve, bans planes and people from going near it, and builds a retreat/sanctuary for fellow crime victims who want to go 'innocent', and spreads the whole 'evil creatures' story to keep the people from leaving... an interesting idea, to be sure, but i cant help feeling kinda ripped off... i honestly wanted some fun monster-rampaging-through-village movie, but the whole 'it was all fake' setup kinda p***ed me off. Its a cool idea, but as a whole, it feels cheep. Then u have the jerky-slow-motion (WHY i slo-mo so damn jerky in these movies! haven't they heard of 'high speed cameras'?) monster chase, in which the BLIND girl manages to memorize the route to some pit a kilometer away, even though she just got scared running round (personally, i wouldn't be able to find my way anywhere after spinning around 20 times and running blindly in the deep woods like she did)... and finally, when the girl climbs over the fence and talks to the 'security guy'... if i was Mr. security: blind girl, wearing yellow cloak, climbing OUT of a restricted area, talking like Queen Elizabeth approached me and asked for healing medicine... MENTAL HOSPITAL!! ... but fine..the security dimwit is obviously turned on and gets her medicine for her from a first aid cabinet the size of a London Drugs pharmacy and voila! she goes back over the fence, all happy joy-joy. The end! .... forgive me for insulting this piece of crap so much.. but hat tricks like this stinker deserve it. Don't waste your time and money seeing this crap...