M. Night Shyamalan: The Village Idiot

Rating: Null/10 (2 August 2004)

Spoiler Alert I myself saw the previews for this film and somehow my brain decided that I must see it! I actually loved Shyamalan's previous films: "The Sixth Sense" "Unbreakable" "Signs". Although none of them were very 'scary', they were all filled with suspense and, of course, Shyamalan's signature twist ending.
"The Village" contained some of the best music I've heard used in a film possibly in this decade; however, that was the best part of the film. When the music is the best thing in the film and you're not making a musical, something is seriously wrong! The acting was right on par, the characters well developed, and the scenery amazing. Now to the problems with the film...oh, where to begin! The film was boring! I found myself fidgeting with the straw in my large Sprite! I kept wanting to get up and go to the bathroom or sneak into The Notebook because there was a slim chance it could be more intriguing. Then there came the twists...just when you think it's going to get really good...you're instantly let down when it's revealed that the entire basis for suspense is merely "a farce"! What the Hell was Shyamalan thinking? We may never know. Then you still have faith when Ivy breaks her cane and is lost in the woods...she's blind! It was comic relief at its best...and then, out of nowhere comes the retarded Noah in a monster outfit...and Ivy kills him! I laughed like there was no tomorrow, and there almost wasn't one because I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat and was out of Sprite by this point. Finally, Ivy gets to town...and while at the beginning of the film it states that the year is 1897...it's really modern times...yeah, that's great Shaymalan, thanks! The people in the village live in a wildlife preserve! Why you may ask. I'll tell you why. Because they all had a close relative murdered...boo hoo! That doesn't mean that you up and move into the wilderness and live like Puritans! It means you put the puke into prison and hope he gets the chair. Anyway, basically Shyamalan's fourth effort, if you can even call it an effort, was a gargantuan disappointment and not worth paying to see. If you want to see if for cheap laughs, horrible foreshadowing, although you can tell the characters are wearing Nikes and such and there are telephone poles of some odd sort, and the overall feeling that you were just anally raped and you weren't even trying to buy a used car, than be my guest, otherwise download it or borrow it from some remedial friend who thought it was one of the most intellectually stimulating films since "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion".