Bereft, sexless teen titillation...both emotionally static and psychologically dense

Rating: 4/10 (21 November 2009)

Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series moves into its second cinematic installment with this technically marvelous but otherwise empty monster-romance targeted at a very specific, impressionable (and undemanding) audience. Teenagers will swoon as high school senior Bella asks vampire crush Edward Cullen to "change" her before she gets too old. Instead of complying, the pale, doe-eyed hunk gives his human girlfriend a rambling goodbye speech out in the woods, something about living a normal life and always loving her forever. Heartbroken Bella suffers...and suffers...and suffers, until she finally finds solace in her friendship with muscular Jacob, who's about to spring another surprise on Bella (which is preceded by yet another kiss-off speech!). The dialogue, fraught with teen angst and halting emotions, is predictably stilted, while Kristen Stewart flip-flops confusingly in her devotion between the two guys. This isn't a movie meant to last the ages; it has been conceived and designed to appeal to the here-and-now. Once its initial sheen has worn off, I imagine the film will appear as it really is: a shallow commercial product--laden with poorly-timed rock music cues--which refuses to take any chances lest it turn off its core viewership. The final battle inside the Volturi is so ridiculously overblown, one isn't sure where the characters stand with each other, while blood-thirsty Victoria (who wants to kill Bella) is left swimming about in the coastal waters, perhaps waiting for Installment #3 to make her move. ** from ****