The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009, PG 13)

Rating: Null/10 (3 November 2010)

Something about "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" drains you of life, but it's difficult to pinpoint the precise source. It isn't lack of sex appeal. Jacob (Taylor Lautner) spends many of his lengthy chatty scenes shirtless, sporting a buff and chiseled physique. The other werewolves don't bother with shirts because sometimes they transform spontaneously out of anger and aren't rich enough to keep buying new shirts. It isn't lack of action either. If you've seen any of the trailers this doesn't give anything away, but (spoiler) Jacob and his Quileute clan members frequently transform into werewolves to chase vampires and occasionally rip them apart. Edward (Robert Pattinson), the cold and undead vampire who thirsts with love for Bella, also battles a pair of vampire enforcers for the Volturi (an elite gang of ultra powerful vampires) in a lengthy fight scene.
Even so, it lacks the sentiment or playfulness of Stephenie Meyer's novel (of the same name). It makes the same mistake as "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" by standing still in awkward moments and lacking depth in talky scenes. In the first movie, you learn that Bella (Kristen Stewart) feels more comfortable in the undead vampire world and feels out of place in a normal human life. Instead of deepening the triangle with dark talk like this, the films mostly leave it out, focusing instead on the choice between Team Jacob and Team Edward.
"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" continues where the first movie left off with Bella and Edward in an uneasy love. Edward mastered his thirst for Bella's blood to the extent that he may safely remain in her presence (as long as they practice abstinence and as long as he breaks away before any of their romantic encounters get too extreme). But Jasper, one of the newer vampires close to Edward, attacks Bella at her birthday party after she gets a paper cut. The accident makes Edward rethink his relationship with Bella. He decides to move away from town to give her a chance at a normal life. Edward makes lesser appearances in the movie when Bella hallucinates in moments of an adrenaline rush. This transforms her into a motorcycle riding and cliff jumping daredevil.
The story is sound in theory, but the way it's translated to film loses all the internal struggle Bella experiences. After Edward tells her he's leaving, you don't see her experience depression much; instead, she screams at nightmares and she sits in front of a window in a daze for months, remaining the same as the camera moves around her and the seasons change before her eyes. Her desperate run through the woods is difficult to understand. It's mostly off camera and she doesn't seem as panicked as the plot and dialog tells us.
The point of all this detail is that the rest of the story falls like dominoes. The lack of exploring Bella's inner world and emotional turmoil (on camera) dampens all the events that depend on her initial state of mind. The result is to further remove Edward from any significant part of the story. (Edward is actually a huge part of it. He causes her depression by leaving without explaining his reasons, making her question whether he cares for her if he could leave so easily.) So the reunion scenes between her and Edward at the end have very little build up and almost no psychological depth. They come out of nowhere and arrive mainly through dialog and last minute love scenes. Mostly Team Jacob gets a chance to make the case for human warmth without the other side of the triangle for competition.
Why does she need a friend like Jacob so much? Unless you pay careful attention to Bella's voice-over, the most noticeable reasons are because he's "sort of beautiful" and he makes girls in a theater scream and giggle. For the most part, the Jacob and Bella scenes seem awkward and sleepy. Particularly troubling is the uneventful exchanges between Bella and Jacob as they repair her motorcycle. The whole sequence demands more coverage, more depth, and more playfulness. For example, it lazily summarizes the gag over Jacob's lesser age (he's only 16). How do we know Jacob is warm and friendly? Take Bella's word for it; she says it, so it must be so.
In the most awkward of their scenes, Jacob stands frozen in rain, looking like he's not quite sure what to do. He looks like he wants to give Bella every chance to stay and talk when he's supposed to be telling her to go away. It seems like the director is afraid that if Mr. Lautner moves, or otherwise behaves like a person saying the words he's saying, the filmmakers might have to worry about the logistics of moving the water truck (that was dispensing the rain) to cover the actors with realistic movement.
For a movie obsessed with following the book, it sure kills all the best parts. It lacks any "Godfather" moments that immerse the viewer in the story; instead, the story zigzags through major events without exploring them in any depth or detail. Sometimes you get a sense that the filmmakers simply wanted more action in the story. For example, Edward's amazing fight sequence at the end (choke slams and all) would never happen with Jane (Dakota Fanning) standing in the room, as she is. She's a vampire that inflicts pain in others with her mind (sort of like using a cruciatus curse in Harry Potter), but she apparently forgets she has these powers and simply watches Edward fight against a couple of the other lesser Volturi. For fans, it will be a must own movie, but for others it may very well be a sleepy experience.