Twilight... what a failure.

Rating: 1/10 (24 November 2009)

I do not walk out of the movies until a movie is done... except for Twilight II: Cloudy with a Chance of Idiots.
From start to finish this movie never ceased to keep me in a state of perplexed awe, from the beginning scene, to the over-glorification of the entrance of Robert Pattinson, to the incessant spinning of the camera, to more and more useless one-liners such as:
"Hey Jake you're so warm, it's like you're your own sun."
This movie has proved that there was something that could possibly come close to sucking as much as "I Know Who Killed Me" (a movie which I'd rather been beaten with a lead pipe into concussion than see).
With that said, here's the story in a nutshell:
-Emotionless vampire leaves girl for no reason. -Tells her to not do dangerous things, yet only appears to her when she does dangerous things (moron) -She hits up her friend and coaxes him into building her two near-death machines -She meets a black guy in the woods. -Black guy dies -About a half hour of meaningless, emotionless, interaction between her and her friend. -More self-pity about the situation with her ex, who could care less anyhow. -Stephenie Meyer is allowed to continue her full-on mutilation of everything I've ever known of Hollywood vampires, turning them into emotionless high school-ers that transform into emotionless high school-ers with what would appear to be body glitter, much like that a stripper wears.
That was where I walked out, with 15 minutes left of the movie, I realized that these fifteen minutes may very well be way too much for me to handle, and I do not regret that decision whatsoever.