Twineutral's opinion: This moon lacks magic

Rating: 4/10 (22 November 2009)

Now, I am not a sexually frustrated, misogynistic guy writing pottymouthed rant because girls drool over Edward Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. And I love lush, otherwordly quality of good vampire movies - gorgeous fruitcake beauty of Coppola's Dracula or wonderful Hammer Gothic are first examples coming to mind. I have not even problem with idea of mad love, described as "abusive" by so many - forbidden love which does not care about conventional ideas of right and wrong is classic theme. Unfortunately Twilight Saga: New Moon is just... inoffensive bore at best. Yes, it is clean, cgi wolves are cute, and those vampire rules... for Heaven's sake, you stupid people, stop moaning over vampires who do not burn in sunlight: every book, short story, TV series and movie has their own rules, and vampires of folklore and classic literature like Dracula and Carmilla walked in sunlight before 1922 Nosferatu. However, love triangle between human girl Bella (Kirsten Stewart) and two boys, vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner) is told with all the lush, otherwordly quality of yours truly making coffee. Mad love between Edward and Bella is so boring, that their can't-live-without-you dialogue does not work. Yes, words are there, but they ring hollow. Nor filth nor gem thus 4/10.