A story about a glittery stalker fairy,an un-attractive dull whore,and an obsessive CGI dog...

Rating: 3/10 (13 February 2011)

SPOILERS!!!!!!!! you've been warned
The movie is about Bella,a dull,depressed(though her life is cotton candy)girl,who has been the center of attention since she first moved to Forks in the first god awful movie.She's dating Edward,a sparkly stalker who is a vampire (though I think he's a fairy).After an accident that happened at his house where Bella gets the worlds deepest papercut and Edward's constipated brother,Jasper,tries to eat her (like a real vampire would),Edward decides to leave Forks with his family to party with Italians and leaves Bella behind.This action makes Bella anti-social,write bad poetry to Alice,Edward's sister (though I don't think she cares),and have seizures at night.It also makes her dangerous,because every time she does something dangerous,Edward appears (....okay...stalker much?). Jacob,The obsessive CGI dog that never wears a shirt who is Bella's second boytoy,promises Bella that he would never do the same thing,though few days later he becomes a douche,cuts off his magic hair and leaves her.Then,Bella runs into Laraunt,The evil black vampire,and he tries to eat her (YAY A REAL VAMPIRE,KILL THE WHORE),but then the CGI werewolves come to save the day (D:<).It is later revealed that Jacob is a werewolf,and Bella immediately grabs his ab (remember,Edward is watching you).Bella then decides to jump off a cliff and gets pwned by waves,but,unfortunately,is saved by the shirtless wonder,Jacob,they nearly make out,but Alice is now in Bella's house,and tells Bella that Edward thinks Bella is dead and is going to the volturi,awesome vampires that kill other vampires,to kill himself (:D).So Bella and Alice go to Italy (...How...did they fly on a luck dragon?)and stop Edward form taking off his shirt (I wish).So,sadly, Edward doesn't die,but when he gets back,It's a battle with Edward and Jacob,and Jacob tells Bella he'll kill her if she becomes one of those glittery fairies (ouch),but Bella seduces Jacob not to and that it's her own choice.Jacob then runs off like a wailing pussy, and Edward asks Bella to marry him,and it goes black.The end.
This is Exactly what the movies like.this is what all the movies are like.There all the same,they all suck.I mean,it's not as bad as the first,the first is pure torture,but this is still bad,there all bad! But,I will admit,the movies are a lot of fun to watch,especially to dub!