Ridiculous. Extremely disappointing.

Rating: 2/10 (4 December 2009)

I have never been this disappointed in my life.
I am female. I'm a teenager. I have read the books, and I'm okay with them, bit of soppy, kitsch fiction never hurt anyone, eh? Saw Twilight before reading the books, thought it was great at first, then read them and had time to analyse the film. Got to the conclusion it was pretty bad. The only things that saved it for me were Carter Burwell and Catherine Hardwicke.
I only watched New Moon to compare it to the books and Twilight, and all the reviews I was reading. Many of my Twilight-mad friends had seen it and loved it. Fair enough, I will find a way to watch it without wasting my money on it.
I found it, I watched it. I don't even remember half of it; it didn't pull me in at all. The actors had obviously learnt their lines very well, but unfortunately could not master the part called 'show (adequate) emotion when saying your lines'. The characters were almost drained of any emotion whatsoever, just like Edward Cullen of his humane colour throughout most of the film.
The film started off in a similar way to Twilight, and the books-monologue from Bella and all that. Unfortunately, this time it was even worse than in Twilight. Phlegmatic seems like the adequate word for any dialogue coming from Kristen Stewart, especially that wretched monologue.
After Bella's nightmare, we go on to the real world. Here, I saw Billy Burke as a rather convincing Charlie. Some emotion from his character can be felt, and he behaves quite naturally, not over the top.
Bella goes to school-meets friends. The four actors playing Mike, Eric, Angela and Jessica did a pretty good job here, and in Twilight. Believable, realistic. Nothing forced.
Enter Edward with his perfect strut in his icy-cold glory. I could imagine the fan girls dribbling at this point. First conversation between Edward and Bella so far in the real world of the film. They kind of pulled it off here, even though I wasn't impressed.
We are then met by Alice and Jasper. Jackson Rathbone gets to deliver one line, which doesn't take much effort, but he doesn't do it half bad. Alice, on the other hand, I don't know what to say. Over the top, but that's the character of Alice. I think Ashley Greene tries too hard to deliver the lines Alice-style. It just ends up fake and again, unrealistic. But how realistic is a pixyish vampire
Birthday party and one of the two occasions where we meet the Cullens throughout the film. The only two that deliver their lines on an acceptable level are Kellan Lutz as Emmett and Peter Facinelli and Carlisle. They make their character quite likable, especially Facinelli.
Then go on to break up. Awkward. I just wanted them to get on with it and save me the pain of watching it. 'Nuff said.
For there on not much to say. It's all pretty bad. There seems to be no actual plot, just a story. Kristen delivers all her lines in the same way, her expression changes based on if she's frowning r not. Taylor Lautner plays Jacob better than I expected him to, he does appear rather stiff in delivery from the point where he's joined the pack, but overall not bad.
The pack were okay, didn't get that much screen time, so I'm not going to judge. The makers could have concentrated slightly more on them, but limited time means getting rid of the parts of a lesser importance. The wolves were, umjust wolves I guess. Nothing that would necessarily impress me or make my jaw drop.
Will now skip to the end and the Volturi. The actors cast for the roles of the royal family' were perfect. Doubted that Dakota Fanning would manage to bring the book Jane to life, but she managed. I was not too happy about Jamie Campbell Bower though. He ruined the Volturi for me. Again, line delivery rather poor, and he just didn't exactly fit the role. Fight scene? OK. Again, not jaw-dropping.
Two things actually made me laugh. One was Jane, Felix, Demetri, Alice, Bella and Edward in the elevator (was that in the book? I think I might've missed it), it made me think of awkward rom-com moments in lifts, or TV adverts. The other thing was Alice's vision of Bella being a vampire. Edward and Bella skipping along. So amazingly cheesy, and completely unfitting, from my point of view.
I want those two hours of my life back. It was bad, bad, bad. The only good points were Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz at one point in the film, Taylor Lautner, for half of the film, and the Volturi, excluding Jamie Campbell Bower who made me want to grab a pair of scissors and cut him out of the screen. Also the score didn't impress me, neither did the soundtrack. The score of the first film matched the action very well, and it got to you. It made you feel a part of the action, even without the film in front of you. Here, the music was almost unnoticeable, and it didn't match what was happening at all.
Since I saw a positive in the film, I will settle for two instead of one star.