Now with more *Sparkle*!

Rating: 3/10 (30 October 2010)

Twilight 2: Electric Boogaloo. Now with more *sparkle*! This one was much more maudlin, thus made romantically worse by the inability of it's actors, especially the chick playing Babs, or Bella, or whatever. She's TURRIBUL. Again, I found myself most sympathetic to the dumb one, the teen-wolf, and the understated sheriff father. Actually the whole wolf pack, minus the again bad CG, is fun. A group of "awe shucks" vampire-killer native American brothers who like to beat each other up, they're a welcome change from the bitching bitches that are the Cullens. Their emotional and intellectual antithesis, it plays a little better than expected. I distractedly sat, though, and wondered the whole time why and how it was that after they had morphed back into boys, they still had on their shorts and shoes. Perhaps they have stashes of K-Swiss and Jams all over the Olympic Peninsula? Twilight isn't too big on filling in plot holes, like vampires on 9 hour flights to Italy and not losing their minds being cooped up in a juicy tube full of juicy humans who would just love to join the mile high club with Edward. Finally, the addition of the High Council of Lookintomyeyes might make the third and FINAL film interesting. A creepy little deadpan Dakota Fanning was disconcerting enough to make me want to see her again, while the lead mean girl of this council, played by a British man I didn't care to look up, was a 160 pound canned ham, complete with licking of lips, bridging of fingers, and googly amphetamine eyes like Andrew McCarthy: way over the top. We get it, you're a 500 year old vampire. Fun finish to their appearance was a group of gawking tourists who are led into their chamber as Babs and company rush away, and we are gifted with offstage screams of horror and dinner as the group is welcomed by the ancient and tawdry mob of vampires.
Does all this mean I actually liked it better than the first? No. The first was fun in it's shocking awfulness and horrible dialogue. What you get here is much more of Bella stumbling about in a depressed state of under-eye makeup. I did find I yelled at the screen a bit less in this one, but yelled at the thing extra loudly at the end.
I will look forward to more yelling at these douchebags for one final installment, by rental of course.