So...you thought Twilight was bad?

Rating: 2/10 (25 December 2009)

"You have got to be kidding me" was the only thing my lips could murmur during my share of an hour and almost forty-five minutes ofnothing. To review this movie, first I see myself obligated of putting my general idea of the Twilight saga out there.
I read all four books (yesI actually did). When I read the first one I admit it became like a guilty pleasure of mine. It wasn't the best piece of literature to fall on my hands but heyit was sweet, sexy, tempting and dangerousall good fun.
I read New Moon expecting the same treatment to the story andsilly me. It as slow, boring and with a lack of creativity that just didn't make sense. This saga was obviously built to be just one book, anything that comes after that is a bad joke.
However, I had to admit that the minute Alice reappeared in the book the story picked up the spice it had had during Twilight. And I did enjoy very much the treatment the Vulturi plot gave to the Edward and Bella drama. During that last bit it became once again sweet, sexy, tempting and dangerousall good fun.
So I told myself that the movie was probably going to be just that: slow at the beginning and exciting at the end. But no. Almost two hours of absolutely nothing. Not only it was one of the worst plots of history (which is not the director's fault. We owe that to Stephanie Meyer), it was also one of the worst screen players in the history of adaptation. Why? You might ask, if it was a carbon copy of the events that took place during the book. Simple. There are only two things that save the Twilight saga books from being a chaotic literal disaster. One: is the structure of Bella and Edward as characters, very fictional and yet very human when it came to their interaction. It's delightful to read. And two: the dialog between the characters. It's rich, it's the one thing Meyer is really good with.
But the dialogs in this script were poor, little and at times so cheesy it really seemed like a bad joke. I can understand the target this movie was made for. But I don't think it's an excuse for corny dialogs, especially when the book is rich in that area.
The actingit was only okay. The main characters are still good actors but I'm beginning to feel sorry about Robert Pattinsonbecause the next two movies are not going to do him any goodat all, and that would be a waste since he's the one with the most potential.
For what is worth, the Vulturi scene was decent, but just decent, not extraordinary, not even great.
Go see it if you want, but if you're not a fan you might probably want to walk out of there after the first long, torturing thirty minutes.