New Moon – because the first movie wasn't awful enough

Rating: 2/10 (21 October 2010)

If you like boring melodrama with wooden acting and unlikeable characters, then New Moon is something for you! Okay, to be honest I haven't read the books (and frankly, probably never will), so I will try to judge the movie on it's own merits.
The first movie Twilight was an underwhelming experience, and I didn't expect anything else from this release either. The biggest problem, I think, with these movies are the main characters and their strange motivations and overall behaviour. Edward behaves like a creepy stalker that not many girls would find very attractive in the real world (at least if they got to know him a bit first). But of course, he IS more than one hundred years old, and if you had to keep re-doing the high school years all the time you'll be a bit crazy and strange too! I have heard from my sister (who have read the books) that Edward, due to being so darn old, is an educated doctor and all kinds of other stuff and that the vampire family can stay longer at the same place if the "kids" start in high school. Is that explained in the movie? I don't think so! Maybe I dozed of during that part... The point I'm trying to make is that the movie takes it more or less for granted that the audience know stuff like that (but here I think the first movie is more guilty of this). Sometimes it's really hard to know what's going on, so I just make up my own back story as the movie goes along!
I cringed every time one of the werewolf guys appeared without a shirt on. Christ, that is simply awful. It's a silly, lazy and obvious way to tell the audience (without brains) that WOLF PEOPLE is SEXY and STRONG. The "drama" between Bella and Edward and MR WOLF is not very engaging, but that is probably because the characters are so two-dimensional. To be honest, the story is not very original and one can probably guess what's going to happen at the end of the movie anyhow. In the final 20 minutes or so, our friends end up in Italy to confront some old-fashioned vampires who are supposed to be the "eviiil" dudes. I thought they all looked like retarded members from some goth band playing in their drummers grandmas' garage. The leader of the vampires looks like a rabbit with a wig. Very intimidating.
Some almost good parts, then: although the "werewolves" looked more like beefed-up mutant dogs, I kind of liked them, mainly because there's a bit of action going on when they appear. The CG effects are not spectacular, but okay. The musical score fit in quite good, so nothing to really complain about here. Some of the songs were terrible, though.
Overall, this movie is sappy and boring and with one of the worst dialouge lines to end a movie ever. Don't watch it unless you want a hemorrhage in the part of your brain where the logical thinking resides.