A huge drop in quality compared to the first movie

Rating: 3/10 (21 November 2009)

I don't understand all this complaining that vampires are supposed to be ugly and not sparkle. Vampires may ride on rainbow unicorns as far as I am concerned, they are not real and it's not like the existing mythology on them is not without its contradictions. The vampires in I Am Legend where fugly, and it still didn't make for a good film (which wrecked a fantastic novel). If you go to watch a supernatural romance film geared towards young women, you can't complain that well, what you watched was a supernatural romance geared at young women, and not Nosferatu. But you can complain if it's a terrible one! I'm not well acquainted with the books (have skimmed through the first one quickly, but it really wasn't my cup of tea and never finished it), but I saw the first movie on DVD a few months ago and was pleasantly surprised, it was neither particularly original or well acted, but it was a good portrayal of teenage emotions and longing, well paced, well shot, some gorgeous cinematography and an excellent soundtrack, a director who understood the teenage psyche.
So sitting yesterday in a cinema packed with overexcited women and their grumbling other halves, I was fairly optimistic. I was not exactly expecting Citizen Kane or Rashomon here, but I didn't expect the subtle brooding moodiness of the first film to be replaced with such cringe-worthy and over the top ridiculousness. Either Meyer's writing took a nosedive in the second book, or the first director managed to pluck the best elements out of the first novel, while Weitz chose the worst ones from the second one. Having watched his Golden Compass film, where he managed to suck all life out of that brilliant Pullman novel, I'm inclined to blame him.
Where can I even start? Horrible pacing, rushing through action and then slowing down to a snail's pace (I almost nodded off halfway through), picking up again crazily, without any rhyme or reason. Some godawful dialogue that had me squirming in my seat with embarrassment for being there, a by-the-numbers soundtrack of cheesy violins, and some huge misfires, the slow-motion running hand in hand through the woods had the entire audience laughing like hyenas. The Volturi looked and talked like something Anne Rice would have concocted during a bad acid trip. Awful, robotic CGI. Everything that was subtle and implied in the first film, was hammered on our heads again and again on the second one. Lack of chemistry, lack even of logic at times.
A film built around shirtless scenes and marriage proposals, instead of atmosphere, feeling and plot, and a director that seemed to neither understand nor have a shred of respect for his audience.