New Moon is the breakout comedy of the year!

Rating: 2/10 (21 November 2009)

As a comedy, this movie is a 10-star.
Jesus, I couldn't stop laughing at the dialogue and the bad acting and awkward stares and oh man, it was just too good. It was like somebody said "Greg, we're making a parody of the 'teen girl, mysterious boyfriend' concept, and we want you to laugh the whole time. You're going to enjoy it, I'm sure of it."
God, did I laugh.
However, they were being serious with this little outing, which means I have to grade this as though it were an actual film. Sadly, with a shoddy plot, crappy dialogue, unbelievably silly message, and HORRIBLE, stilted acting, I can't do anything but give this a 2/10.
It gets that extra bonus star because Robert Pattinson actually really doesn't like the Twilight books, and in fact thinks the whole story is teenage schlick-flick drivel. Every time he looked directly at the camera and delivered a wooden, dragged-out "I couldn't live without you, Bella," I felt like he was really telling me, "Greg, people really paid me money for this. I'm actually making money doing this movie, saying this line. Can you believe it? I know I can't."
Good show, Twilight. Or is it bad show?
God, I just don't know anymore.