The Plan 9 of our Generation

Rating: 1/10 (24 March 2010)

What is there to say that hasn't been said already? The acting is god awful, the "special effects" are poor, etc etc. Boy vampire decides he's just too dangerous for her and leaves, and human girl sets feminism back about a hundred years by moping around and jumping off a cliff. That's pretty much the movie. Oh, and throw in a shirtless werewolf to prance around and thicken the "plot". The plot, or lack thereof, is mediocre at best, but we have the wet dreaming, "I got my degree in Literature but I still write like a six year old" Stephenie Meyer to thank for that.
There were moments during the film where I literally covered my eyes because it was just too awkward to watch(such as the make out scenes). Kristen Stewart is the Da Vinci of awkward, and not in the cute, teenage awkward sense. I mean socially retarded, "I can't bear to look at you because I feel embarrassed for you" awkward. And Pattinson wasn't any better; when in doubt: look intense and glower and mumble. I was hoping that they would take the chance to improve how they interact with each other since the first film was so abominable, but they didn't. I would argue it got even worse, actually. They can't...get through..........a sentence....without a huge....pause.
One other thing that other people may not have minded so much but drove me crazy was the music. In lieu of a real score, which could have been artistically redeeming, it's just hip indie hit after hip indie hit that has nothing to do with what's going on. It's obviously just to get tweens to buy the soundtrack, which of course they did, so kudos on the marketing. It's basically the playlist of any depressed teenager set to a movie.
The only thing that made this bearable was watching it with Rifftrax, absolutely hilarious.