GREAT! If you celebrate minimal improvement.

Rating: 4/10 (9 July 2010)

Having been converted to the Twilight series by my brother (of all people) who insisted that the first film was good, I was only left bitterly disappointed by the second movie (which I booked early screening tickets for) and now also by the third.
Whilst Twilight was not a film of epic proportion, it was at least watchable thanks to a storyline that actually moved and was stitched together coherently and entertainingly. Unfortunately, the rather optimistic predictions of the Twilight series being the 'next Harry Potter' were frightfully over-enthusiastic.
Whilst watching Eclipse, I was once again subjected to unconvincing and poor acting, awful line delivery, far too cheesily written lines, a slow-moving plot and scenes that were so terribly executed that I just wanted to curl up and die from cringing. At very few points did the film have my full attention and I often strayed to things such as food, my pre-booked holiday and cleaning out my fat hamster when I got home. I even found time to answer a few questions on Yahoo on my phone.
Credit where credit is due however, Kristen Stewart's acting, whilst still littered with her trademark 'I have constipation' facial expression and devoid-of-emotion line delivery did manage to throw in a few variations on the constipation face. Robert Pattinson's acting however, seems to have further dissipated and he has now been rendered incapable of speaking in a tone that is not 100% monotonous.
Highlight of the film? Jacob's line, "Let's face it - I am hotter than you" and "it'll be faster if you took your clothes off" and the entire tent scene in general contained good laughs at the expense of Edward, who as a character is insufferable as well as being an emotionally abusive boyfriend. The end fight scene was also visually well executed, but unless a good film is now based on its ending rather than the smoothness and presentation of the entire film itself, this was a waste of money.
Unless you're a die-hard fan, a middle-aged woman who has lost all interest in her now obese husband or a pre-pubescent teen who likes seeing half-naked men on-screen, don't pay to watch this - just find some link to a cam online.
In any case, if you want a total bore of a movie in which absolutely nothing of any significance happens up until the last 30 minutes of the film, see Eclipse!