Marginally better than New Moon, with more great moments and fights-but damn it, I still can't shake a feeling of pointlessness when it's all over...

Rating: 6/10 (17 December 2012)

So Bella, was still in love with the vampire Edward, but Jacob the wolfboy kept turning up shirtless to confuse her. And then, vengeful Victoria flitted back into town with the intention of sinking her teeth into Bella, so the feuding vampire and werewolf clans teamed up to protect her and wipe out Victoria's band of bloodthirsty fledglings... The fans may have loved it, wish I could have. Not that I didn't find everything very entertaining and enjoyable, but that's all it really did, entertain. I need to be profoundly or emotionally moved at least once, and to care about the characters just a little, before I can start to consider a movie good. There was all the usual tripe involving Bella's boring normal school friends, and the tacked-on father was still buzzing around, although they managed to get one good humorous scene with him. A frickin' miracle. Oh dear god, all those dopey monologues between Pattinson and Stewart! "You'll always be my Bella." Gah. That nonsense always just seems so dumb. I actually thought they cooled off on that a lot compared to before. I was frankly bored with both characters by this point. Their personalities just come and go, and neither is ever too deep or interesting. They're merely okay, like the series itself. I don't like how she wants to be a vampire. That's not technically a good thing, is it? It shouldn't be. That corrupts her somehow. Aww, it was so darling how Edward didn't wanna do it until they were married! Good on for you, Ed! That slimy piece of crotch-rot Lautner was of course around as well. Oh wow, Jacob is now jealous! Never saw that coming... He's so ugly, whenever it showed his face in closeup all I could focus on were the gigantic chompers! Well, to his credit he did seem more relaxed and confident with his role. A highly unusual situation to say the least, sharing a tent with the two monsters vying for your heart, and then huddling up to the one that can never have you for warmth, while things are complicated further by the fact that one of them can read all the other's dirty thoughts! You can't make that up, What a Priceless scene! And I love the self-parodying line from Lautner: "I am hotter than you." He wishes! Seriously, it ain't even a question. That's something I really liked that was new, a bit of a sense of humour. There were several snappy tongue-in-cheek lines that really made me laugh. The computer-generated wolves were a little more tolerable. They kept them shadowed and out of the extremely harsh light of day. A wise move. They still just looked daft, though. Much too false for me to feel anything but awkwardness at their presence. The story finally focused on Victoria, and it disappointed. I really loved her in the first two episodes, but I didn't find the character as impressive this time around, and I know why. Bryce Dallas Howard didn't play her anyway near as good as the original actress, she just didn't have that same special fire. Although I had no idea it wasn't the same woman till I looked it up! I thought they kinda squandered her by making her a full-blown villainess. She was much more appealing as a gypsy/rogue or whatever she was supposed to be before. Hmm. Oh well. One of the few genuine bum notes, I thought, was that Xavier whoevier guy as Victoria's little sidekick. I thought he made for one god awful boring baddie, and I could tell she was just playing him right away. It was great fun to see Dakota Fanning return in a more substantial capacity than the mere cameo she had in part 2. Pretty much she alone now represented the awesome wrath of the ancient council of vampires. She was a real back-breaker. Loved that-"PAIN power!" wouldn't mind trying that out on a few folk myself! So Cameron Bright was supposed to be her brother, I thought they were alike. Cameron didn't get more than a bit part...no big loss there. Although I thought she was great, I still didn't buy her as the type of threatening authoritative figure she was portraying. She was too damn petite to take seriously! What an evil little witch. Poor little Jodelle Ferland. I recognised her from the excellent Masters of Horror episode "The V- Word." What I loved best about this film was three stories told in flashback that reveal how the werewolf clan first encountered the vampires, and the origins of two of the Cullens. I thought it gave them both some depth. In Jasper's story, the triad of vampire ladies brought to my mind the three Gorgon sisters of Greek mythology. It was history repeating, the way Victoria was using Riley, the way Jasper had been manipulated. And I thought Rosalie's tale of shame and justified revenge was also excellent. I thought what happened to her was quite nasty, for this. That's one of the problems, although people die and everything, it's like it's always kept at a PG level and family friendly. Despite these very impressive sequences I thought the main plot wasn't all that gripping, and the pacing floundered toward the end. The build up was good, but the big climactic fight was a little too brief for me. Everything is topped off with a highly-unsatisfying and flimsy final scene with Edward and Bella in some bright floral setting, looking forward to their wedding... I was ultimately left with a flat type of a feeling as the credits rolled. I thought this third helping of Twilight was better than the second. They cranked up the impressive cinematic action and wit, and kept the meaningless monologues and some of the goofier effects down. It got more right than it did wrong. An admirable effort.