Not a new moon: just the same old, moralizing moon as before.

Rating: 4/10 (5 July 2010)

By far the best of the three to date, which isn't necessarily saying much. At least Eclipse has a plot that makes some actual, coherent sense, and events are set up and fully explained rather than just being dumped on the viewer without preparation. There's a new director in town (each chapter has had a different director; Chris Weitz of Twilight II was truly a hack), and this one appears to understand things like pacing. The moralistic propaganda continues to spew forth at high volume, and what's interesting is that Bella emerges here as the little slut: she's leading two men on, passionately throwing herself at both of them; she's the one who wants to become a vampire, and she's the one who tries to seduce Edward, despite the risk to her (he declines not because he might, in the heat of passion, eat her, but because he's an old-fashioned guy who doesn't believe in sex before marriage). What's so addictive about the series, which could perhaps also be said of all High Romances, is that it posits the "loved one" as the absolute center of the entire universe: no one worries about his job or because his boss is a jerk or, for that matter, about being unemployed; no one needs money; no one suffers from depression, anxiety, or loneliness; no one wonders about the purpose of her or his life; no one has any problems whatsoever except those caused by love; the human characters rarely eat, sleep, study, read, or participate in other normal activities. When the couple relationship is life's only issue, life becomes extremely simple. Of course, given the nature of the story, it is a highly dramatic and unstable life, but that's also par for the adolescent course: jealousies are invented; problems appear in the relationship out of thin air (maybe I'm not right for you; you love me, but you don't love me enough; no, I must leave you forever, it's the only way!); the tenor, color, and direction of Bella's entire existence shifts 180 degrees on the basis of a single conversation; and the extended cast is swept into the innumerable conflicts that are born in the effort to preserve the couple at all costs (indeed, Bella and Edward's friends and family barely have existences of their own and have no function other than to provide support for the tribulations and ordeals of the couple). The acting, on the whole, never rises above mediocre: Taylor Lautner's Valley Boy demeanor and Keanu Reeves-like blankness makes him Hollywood's most unconvincing Indian (though it was an excellent move when, halfway through Twilight II, he lost his dreadful long-hair wig and went back to his military cut). He's beautiful-ugly: the over-pumped, muscular body that threatens to consume his head, his bizarrely developed trapezius muscles, the world's tiniest nipples (I'm not the only one who noticed: they were Photoshopped for his shirtless movie posters), and a nose that spreads from ear to ear. His face is substantially without expression, though he's terrifying when he smiles. Still there are moments, most often when he's filmed in the middle distance, when his statuesque presence is affecting indeed. Robert Pattinson has a hard time forcing any genuine emotion through that pancake makeup, which is, to a greater or lesser extent, a problem that afflicts the entire cast of vampires; Kristen Stewart's Bella, meanwhile, mostly leaves you not understanding why Edward and Jacob are ready to rip each other to shreds over her; Bella is a stubborn, demanding, bourgeois princess with all the depth and personality of Formica. What do they see in her? Maybe it'll be revealed in the next ten installments. One thing is for sure: Despite the relentless hype about the way the Twilight series is a demonstration of "girrlpower," Bella is no Buffy. She's pushy and willful but not strong, impulsive but not thoughtful, imperative but committed to nothing and no one beyond her own desires. Most important of all, she has made her man the entire purpose and fulcrum of her existence, ready to abandon everything (including her parents) in order to Be With Him. That makes her a relic, not a role model.