The Vidiot Reviews...

Rating: 5/10 (4 December 2010)

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Teens have it easy. Nowadays, a girl can freely have a threesome with a vampire and a werewolf, and no one says boo.
Back in my day, they'd lynch you for just flirting with a Frankenstein.
Thankfully, the times have changed, however, women's eternal turn-on of nice guy/bad boy love triangles has not.
As Bella (Kristen Stewart) and her fanged fiancÃ© Edward (Robert Pattinson) plan their wedding, the vengeful Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) gets her retribution against the betrothed by siccing her army of newly turned vampires on them.
To defeat the horde, Edward must team with Bella's canine crush, Jacob (Taylor Lautner).
The third installment of the franchise, Eclipse is the first blockbuster: the cast is heavily airbrushed, the soundtrack is overproduced, and the love story is thrice as campy as before.
On the plus side, however, when you marry the deceased, their life insurance policy kicks in immediately. (Yellow Light)