This isn't happening!

Rating: 1/10 (6 September 2013)

Actually it's a 0, but that score doesn't count. We have vamps and wolves as friends, in cool houses, (wolves are with shirts on for a while until Taylor does a little gay strip for Kristen's dad, so teen girls can watch his chest. The story is this: Volturi are after the offspring of Kristen and Robert because Remesmee (yeah, great name, lol) is half human, half vamp. Apparently this can't be, so the Volturi are going to kill her. They talk amongst their friends around the world to have witnesses (whatever that is for the film's purpose) to claim she's not a threat. We then have 90 minutes of nothing with this, apart from some random vamps jumping just for fun. In the end, Alice (who sees the future) takes the hand of the Volturi chief, so he can see it too. After this moment, battle (as in all of this saga thing) ensues, etc etc, just to learn in the end that none of it happened at all. Alice showed the Volturi guy what would happen, and the battle never took place. They part, each side, the couples kiss, and the movie ends. Bravo Stephenie for making vamps with lipstick and shining under the sun, and werewolves whose only obligation is being naked for teens' purpose a SAGA! 0 out of 10