Much ludicrousness and a cheat ending to boot

Rating: 2/10 (4 April 2015)

The one good thing about BREAKING DAWN PART 2 is that after watching it I can finally say that I've seen all of the TWILIGHT movies and I never need to watch them again. Because this is poor stuff indeed, an ultra-cheesy and completely embarrassing film that I'm surprised that Bill Condon had the guts to direct. How can a man go from directing something like the acclaimed GODS AND MONSTERS to this nonsense?
BREAKING DAWN PART 2, being the final part of the TWILIGHT story, has a lot of work to do but most of it is wasted in a nonsensical story in which the bad Italian vampires are brought out for one final confrontation. The reason for this confrontation turns out to be entirely spurious, and scenes of Edward and Bella travelling the world and recruiting random vampires to their side are entirely unbelievable; why would anybody want to join forces with these no-hopers anyway?
There are plenty of bad things here, not least the wooden performances from a great deal of cast members, although at least Kristen Stewart isn't quite as hopeless as in previous instalments. Once again Taylor Lautner gets a gratuitous shirtless scene although the werewolf pack are entirely extraneous to the story. Scenes involving a CGI baby and vampires running through the woods at speed are completely ludicrous, and the less said about Michael Sheen's appalling villain the better.
Still, these things pale in comparison to the film's biggest deceit. The final movie demands a final, massed battle along the lines of HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2 (a clear inspiration here), and we get one: a riotous, head-tearing bout of mayhem in a snowy clearing. Hell, it's the only time in the entire franchise where I actually found myself enjoying what was up on screen, and then, guess what? It was all a dream! That old cheat brought unwelcomely to the fore once again. Bah humbug indeed, and thanks to that TWILIGHT can go to hell forever.