A trash juice smoothie, with a side of terrible

Rating: Null/10 (5 May 2013)

I watched this movie commercial free, for free, on my computer at home. Within just minutes of starting it, I was unsure if I even wanted to have this on during a workout. If only I was a 12 year old girl, I would have enjoyed this better. Thank everything forever, I did not pay money for this movie.
There has been some speculation of the budget to this movie. Regardless, it was above 50 million at least, possibly double that. This must have been the most wasteful movie in the history of film making if that is true. It felt like they might have plowed through filming this in one take for each scene. The actors are awkward and unbelievable. I'll give it to Kristen Stewart, I've never seen a one trick pony be ridden so hard, for so long. Her one facial expression never lets me down. It's passion, hurt, pain, anger, happiness, all rolled into one. I wish I could make just one expression with my face. It would save me time. And people wouldn't have to try to read my facial clues. The execution was odd, and I never even had the chance to understand why Myers chose to include so many powers, without any coordination between the vampire special power patrol. Its like she just decided to cram a bunch of power creativity with no explanation whatsoever that made me just say "Wow, really! water power! That's awesome! but why, when, how, and where, oh I don't care anymore?" And once again, the sets felt small, like a one room school house. Which brings me to my next point; I felt like I was a small child. I was embarrassed during the movie because, as all the twilight movies, I internalized the incredibly awkward tendencies of the movie.
Summary: If I wasn't working out during the movie, I would have skipped through parts of the movie that were cheesy, probably self editing the movie down to about 20 minutes. This movie was exactly as good as a random episode of Smallville, which is equally as embarrassing as this trash smoothie.