The ingredients aren't necessarily bad in this series, it's just the filmmakers who are inept. I'm still amused, though.

Rating: 2/10 (29 February 2012)

Let me preface by saying I enjoy all kinds of films, including 'chick flicks'.
Let's start by going into what this film teaches us, the audience, and the millions of teen fans... that our demure, virginal leading lady's aspirations lie not in getting a good job, or going to college, or anything of the sort. Instead, to get married to the undead prince charming, and have a child (which, according to the film, is unheard of in the vampire realm. Though, of course, many other stories have had such offspring before.). That is about the extent of this movie (the first half is the marriage and the honeymoon, then the second half deals with the pregnancy).
They attempt to give the 'revelations' of this story some gravitas, but fail to on a writing and an acting level. For example, Jacob exclaims something along the lines of doing that he must, regardless of sacrifice... but instead of this dramatic moment playing as let's build respect for this character, it had me chuckling. It is funny to watch these dark, morose, angst ridden characters, and it shouldn't be. Nothing that this film attempts to say is important feels all that important.
The continual grrrr back and forth between Jacob and the leading vampire guy (I always called him flatface, my affectionate pet name for him) is supposed to create some kind of tension, I guess... Jacob more often than not just comes off as a jerk. Flatface is just the 'I have so much internal pain, look at me emote' kind of guy. The one good thing in this chapter is the werewolf vs vampire battle was slightly better than the last one (I might be remembering incorrectly, I just remember the last one having an oh so dreadful battle), but we're still faced with pretty mediocre werewolf vs vampire action. Not as bad as the first Underworld, but I kept expecting flatface to call out 'Judokick' when he kicked a werewolf back, in Austin Powers fashion.
For a second, I wondered what Joss Whedon would do if given such a story, and then I remembered, he did have such a story during his run of Angel, except it was two vampires... but the importance and drama of that storyline made for eager watching. I felt sympathy for Darla, as the little baby's soul gave her a conscious and that was ripping her up. Partly due to top notch acting, partly due to wonderful writing. In fact, just about everything in the minimalist plot of the twilight films has been done in the scope of the Buffy and Angel TV series'.
Anne Rice practically invented the morose, Gothic vampire (look at Interview with a Vampire. Again, the gravitas of the situation and the drama has a punch to it, bittersweet. There is a haunting beauty to the scene where Brad Pitt's character finds the remains of his 'turned' daughter and caretaker, watching them break apart to dust... It's sad, tragic.)
That's what the Twilight series needed. A director who could lend a visual poetry to the film and get the performances out of his/her actors needed to convey that, a screenwriter that didn't seem like he/she was about as old and inexperienced as some of the characters he/she is writing, and actors who can convey that depth and deepness. Without that, you get the series as it stands currently. A fangless vampire, without the ability to bite, without substance, and more coming off as amusing than anything. A film doesn't have to be original to work (as there are very few original works anymore), it just has to exemplify its elements in the best possible way.
If these films didn't amuse me so much, I wouldn't even bother. What saddens me is that these many teen fans are eating this up and they're thinking this is good. It has many bad lessons to teach and it is pretty half assed in comparison to what has come before. And the fact that this has been successful? How many knock offs will we see next? I'm surprised there haven't been more knock offs of LOTR and Harry Potter than there have been... (though I know they've been trying to start the first book in many different book series to find a hit so they can make the rest of the books).
So, I am torn. On the one hand, I'm amused and entertained by how bad this series is. On the other, the ingredients of the story aren't necessarily bad. They just don't have the right filmmakers that can make these ingredients translate. Oh well, it is a little bit late for that.