As bad as it gets

Rating: 2/10 (11 February 2017)

I knew I had to see this movie sometime especially after the lengthy review that Doug Walker gave it and how much he hated it. This is a guy who loved the other movies because of how bad they were. I specifically downloaded the Rifftrax file for this movie as a free sample and I was devastated to find out that the website has apparently changed and all my history was deleted so I had to buy the file for this movie. It was money well spent because I would have gone nuts if not for the file. This movie is amazingly boring and stupid in nearly every sense of the word.
I actually looked up critical reviews and I think even people who were fans of the other movies hated this one. I guess I will give those other movies credit for being better. This movie features Edward and Bella getting married. Bella gets pregnant and most of this movie is just them talking about whether she should have an abortion. Okay they don't use the word "abortion" but it's what they're talking about. This is just a nasty unpleasant movie for me because everyone in this film is just so mean. Everybody is telling Bella to get rid of her fetus because it's killing her. This is just an uncomfortable movie with how they show Bella slowly get sicker because this vampire fetus is sucking the life out of her.
Everybody just wants this fetus dead. I mean they really do use words like "that thing", "bloodsucker" and "demon" when describing a fetus. I don't see how anyone can defend such a mean spirited message. They call the fetus "it" over and over. This film is just depressing with how bitter everyone is. It just gets worse as time goes on. I am so glad this is the last "Twilight" movie I'll ever watch in my life. Apparently, there has somehow never been a vampire that's gotten a human pregnant before. During sex, Edward is literally destroying the beds and giving Bella bruises, which she's mostly okay with.
The Rifftrax had tons of great stuff and I especially like, "Oh honey, everyone's gone! Our unholy marriage must have triggered the rapture!". I also loved when they referred to Jacob and said, "Hi, runner up!". I got a chuckle out of, "I drink your bloodshake!" too. Okay, did they really have to make a joke about bronies? I mean, I'm glad they acknowledge them, but don't say anything bad about us. I think this is the first time I've heard them riff through the credits, although they do stop at some point. Anywho, this is a trashy movie no one should watch. *