Drawn-out prequel to the final chapter

Rating: 4/10 (24 November 2011)

WEEKLY MOVIE REVIEW : TWILIGHT : BREAKING DAWN – PART ONE
MINI-REVIEW : Drawn-out prequel to the final chapter
RATING : Wait for the instant download – if you must (Rating System: "Watch it in theaters", "Wait for the instant download", "Don't waste your time")
Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are back and they are going to get married. The marriage goes off without a hitch. While Jacob (Taylor Laughtner) is a bit put out, he makes his peace with it. That is until he learns that Bella plans to let Edward make a woman of her before getting turned into a vampire. "He'll kill you," he warns as he knows vampires go into a frenzy during "maritals" (we guess).
But Edward is able to restrain himself and only manages to wreck the bedroom. Strangely, Bella becomes pregnant in the short time they are on honeymoon – and the fetus (baby) is growing rapidly. And we're off...
I recently watch the first three incarnations of the "Twilight" series at home before going to the theater to see "Breaking Dawn". I thought they were pretty unimpressive stories, but easy to sit through. Breaking Dawn, however, suffers from the fact that it is a mere set-up for the final chapter. There just wasn't enough material to make a full movie. To its credit, the movie pretty much stands on its own with a good beginning, middle, and conclusion. But the scenes that get us to that conclusion are excruciatingly protracted. This movie lasted two hours and could easily have fit in half that time.
There are a number of huge plot holes in this film. Like, why doesn't anyone in the Cullen coven realize that vampire/human sex could create a fast-growing embryo? I mean, the head of the clan is a doctor. The other problems I have would spoil things for you – but at some point I would suggest you ask yourself how digestion works in the "Twilight" world.
The real standout in this film, however, was Taylor Laughtner as werewolf Jacob Black. His character is a truly epic hero. He undergoes a transformation from loner to protector and without giving too much away, I expect we'll see him become a leader in the next film. And Laughtner delivers some really solid performances. He is intense, funny, angry, sensitive just a fine array of emotions for an arguably secondary character. I saw him in "Abduction" and was not overly impressed. In the previous two "Twilight" films, and "Abduction" his job was to be buff and more buff – and to run a lot - shirtless. While he manages to keep his shirt on in most of "Breaking Dawn", he is the conscience of this film and his performances really support the hum-drum of his partners. And while we're on the subject of werewolves, they are the most interesting characters in the Twilight series. The boys in the tribe, whether in human or wolf form, are always huddling, hanging out, and rough-housing together. And the CGI wolves (while surprisingly huge) are beautiful animals. The actors are interesting to look at and have some substantial secondary plots. Compared, in contrast, to the Cullen clan who seem to just walk around ghost-like with no real relationships.
I have to admit, I'm only watching "Twilight" because it is a phenomenon and I want to be able to talk about it around the water cooler. If I were to give my honest opinion of this film, I'd recommend that you don't waste your time. It is a simplistic tale and you won't walk away from the theater with anything more than you walked in with. But if you've seen the previous movies or are a fan of the books then I recommend you "wait for the instant download," because this is just a protracted episode.
A final note: I have also been watching the "Underworld" series in anticipation of the upcoming release of "Underworld: Awakening," (which also is a vampire/werewolf movie). Once I've reviewed the final chapter of the "Twilight" series and "Awakening" I plan a comparison of the two franchises. I think there will be some interesting parallels.