All Quiet on the B-action Front

Rating: 6/10 (2 September 2006)

A hard-boiled ex-soldier (Jason Statham) runs a private 'transporting' business in which he moves goods for clients from point A to point B, no questions asked, no packages opened and no names exchanged. One day, he breaks his own rule by opening the large bag he is transporting and finds a beautiful gagged woman (Qi Shu) in it.
Jason Statham of Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels fame slips into the buff testosterone-fuelled action-hero role with almost effortless conviction and the perfection with which he delivers his cheesy lines deserves credit ("All right, that's enough juice for now."). From the campy winks, the fast-paced drop-kicks and packing punches and just generally badass attitude, Statham clearly masters the B-action genre. He knows what he needs to do to entertain the audience, and he does it like he means business. Hardcore, in other words.
However his "American" accent clearly deserves less credit. If you were BLOWN AWAY by Kevin Costner in Prince of Thieves or Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta, you will like his efforts. Ditto Qi Shu whose performance keeps us guessing (mostly about what the hell she is saying). In all fairness, I thought she was really cute as Lai  the woman who complicates things by popping up from the bag, but also viciously annoying with her little high-pitched girly screams and submissive approach. Thankfully, Statham and Shu's on-screen chemistry makes up for this and facilitates the whole plot on an important, fundamental level. Because they are so different (macho-man vs. girly girl), they somehow look great juxtaposed.
This plot never strays from its template story. Ever. It's simple. It's straightforward. It's action-packed and amazingly fast-paced. Twenty minutes fly past like five. But enough praise, because "The Transporter" really isn't a good movie. Even if you're looking for cheap adrenaline kicks this would not be the first film I'd recommend (it's probably be Poseidon [2006], ha) -- this simply lacks 'oomph' and the good guys are too GOOD and the bad guys are too BAD. Nothing new -- next, please!
6/10