A complete joke from start to finish!

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2003)

The Transporter takes everything that's bad about action movies and combines them into possibly the worst 90 minutes of film I have ever seen. This film is a complete joke and insults the intelligence of anyone who watches it.

I saw the misleading trailer and thought that it might actually be worth watching, but how wrong I was. There are so many things wrong with this film that it's difficult to know where to start. Just how dumb can a film actually be? The following situations in the film just defy belief: **Contains Spoilers!**
1) The breathing apparatus conveniently stored in the water under Franks house!
2) Frank chasing a light aircraft - on foot - and catching up with it!
3) The truck steering and accelerating all on it's own while Frank is fighting the bad guy inside it!
4) The bad guy conveniently having a time bomb in a suitcase handy to give to Frank when he drops of the package!
5) The bad guys getting to the bus station so quick!

Don't get me wrong; I love a nice, well-made, brainless action flick as much as the next guy, but The Transporter is so pathetic, so ridiculous and just so plain DUMB that I actually felt insulted after I watched it. Also:
6) Jason Statham's accent! - What the hell is going on there??
7) The music! - Could they have actually chosen worse music for this film?? It annoys the hell out of you and does not fit the on-screen action at all. The song played over the end credits is absolutely hilarious (unintentionally, of course) - just have a listen to the lyrics and you'll see what I mean.

As a comedy, this is about as good as it gets! The ludicrous scenes described above, coupled with terrible accents and an even worse plot, means you'll be laughing out loud most of the way through - I know I was. However, as an action movie this is definitely one to avoid. like the plague!