transported down the toilet!

Rating: Null/10 (22 December 2002)

Good grief, what a wretched movie. The first scene, though a touch over-the-top, was pretty good with the car escape from the bank job. And that was it. The movie then deteriorated into a kind of pretentious version of 70's/80's martial arts film. The improved film quality and more expansive cinematography only made the action sequences seem more goofy. At least with the old kung fu movies you knew what to expect: low quality filming with silent film era special effects, but with blazing fight sequences. Transporter was a joke....the british actor seemed slow and awkward by comparison, his opponents politely positioning themselves to take their licks. I confess, I got sucked in by Luc Besson's name....I initially thought he directed it. What the hell is happening to him??! After Fifth Element, he kind of lost it. Messenger seemed to signify some kind of psychotic break, and now writing credits for this?! Not good. I may skip his next endeavour and put him on rental probation. Frankly, I felt embarrassed for those who gave Transporter good marks....I think I remember an exclamation of "Excellent!" within a couple posts. I'm at a loss....how does one perceive in such a way? Anyway, each to his own. If anyone wants to get the most out of this film, buy a ticket to some other movie starting 15 minutes later and then sneak into Tranporter and watch the initial car chase...then go see the better movie. Better yet, watch a trailer and call it quits. If my memory serves, the previews contained the only worthwhile scenes of the whole reel. 3 out of 10 stars.